A Mother's Love Pt. 02

If you haven't read my "A Mother's Love," which is the first part of this series, do that before reading this story. This chapter probably won't make much sense on its own. There are multiple stories on Literotica with the title "A Mother's Love." Be sure to look for the one by me that is in the Erotic Couplings category. - Cyanlot

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After Jason left, I needed to shift gears. I had to transform from whatever I was now that I'd done what I'd done tonight with Jason into a modest, minivan-driving, middle-aged mother. It was good that Kevin was out of town for a few days, but Caitlin and Brian would be back well before 11 and I needed to be "normal."

I decided to take a shower. I didn't usually do that in the evening but somehow it seemed like it would provide a good transition. It's not that I felt dirty. I wasn't trying to wash away a psychic stain, nor even engage in more prosaic cleansing. In fact, as I walked down the hallway to my bedroom, I was savoring the lingering taste of Jason's cum in my mouth.

I'm not a cum-junkie by any means. I'm not a spitter, either. (When we'd first been dating, I'd heard Kevin joke with his friends that "spitters were quitters." He'd never had that complaint about me.) So, like lots of women, I'd swallowed a fair share of cum. For me, though, it had always just been something you did after you'd finished a blow job. I'd never savored the taste of cum.

But, remembering those last minutes of my lips around Jason's cock—remembering how I'd felt a yearning for him to fill my mouth with his seed—I realized that I was feeling different about the taste of cum now than I had in the past. I could still taste him in my mouth and I enjoyed it. I'm not sure why.

An old joke I'd once heard flashed across my mind. I didn't remember exactly how it went but it was something about two middle-aged women in a Chinese restaurant looking over the menu. One said to the waiter, "I'd like the Cum of Sum Yung Gai," and the other said, "wouldn't we all!" Or something like that. Maybe there was something to the cum of some young guy thing. I don't know. I was certain, though, that I was going to have lots of opportunity to find out.

The shower felt wonderful. The warm water sprinkling on my breasts made my nipples harden. As I ran the soapy sponge over my body, one thing led to another. Washing led to caressing, caressing led to fondling. Soon, I was fingering my hard clitoris as the water played across my body.

I hadn't masturbated in the shower for years. I'm not sure why. It felt good. As I was getting close to my climax, I spotted my bottle of conditioner on the shelf that hung from the showerhead. It was one of those expensive brands that they sell in smallish plastic bottles. Smallish but not tiny. In fact, just the right size to fill my mouth with as I brought myself to an orgasm.

Almost desperately, I grabbed the conditioner bottle with my freehand and pressed it into my mouth. I immediately knew this was the right thing to do to intensify my orgasm. I felt so perfect to have my mouth filled as I approached my climax.

Sucking hard on the bottle, I brought myself to an incredibly satisfying orgasm. It was a good thing no one was in the house, my screams of pleasure probably shook the walls. I worried that the neighbors might have heard.

My orgasm lasted for minutes, beginning as an intense tsunami of pleasure and tapering to an extended tingling throughout my quivering body.

Satisfied, I took the conditioner bottle from my mouth and put it back on its shelf, knowing that whenever I looked at it in the shower from now on, I'd think of this moment of onanistic bliss, which would remind me of my first time sucking Jason off.

As I thought of that phrase—"my first time sucking Jason off"—I thought about where this was going. My life was changing, for sure. But it all made sense to me. I was a mother, first of all. And I'd do what was best for my children. Right now, protecting Caitlin from growing up too soon was the most important thing I could do.

Brian got home first, about 9:30. But it was well after I'd finished dressing and gotten myself completely back into suburban mother mode. Everything felt quite normal. I was beginning to feel as if I would be able to psychologically sequester my new activities with Jason so that they didn't impinge on my normal life at all.

When Caitlin got home, there was one moment of bleed-over between my two lives. She was hungry and grabbed something to eat from the fridge. She walked into the family room with her snack, turned on the TV, and plopped herself down on the couch. She sat exactly where, just hours ago, Jason had sat—where I had taken Jason's cock and cum in my mouth.

It was disturbing seeing my innocent Caitlin sitting in the exact spot where I'd done to her boyfriend something that could never be revealed. I shook the connection out of my head. I couldn't be thinking like that. It would make what I was doing too difficult for me.

That night, after the kids were asleep, I got ready for bed myself—an empty bed. I would have liked it if Kevin were here. Despite my crashing orgasm in the shower (or maybe because of it), I was horny. I would have liked to get fucked tonight. But it wasn't going to happen.

I watched TV for a few minutes then turned it off and tried to get to sleep. I did sort of doze for a while, but not for more than a few minutes before I started feeling more and more awake, and more and more horny.

Maybe it was the satin nightgown caressing my body that was responsible for my horniness. I was certainly intensely aware of the soft silkiness of it teasing my nipples. But I'd worn that nightgown many times before and it had never had this effect on me.

Whatever was causing my horniness, I wasn't going to be getting to sleep before I took care it. I was alone and had all the time I wanted, so I decided to make love to myself. This is another thing I hadn't done in years. Marriage, kids, work ... it all gets in the way of these sorts of things.

But sometimes, years ago, I'd take my time bringing myself to an orgasm. I'd caress myself all over. I'd tease myself and bring myself slowly to a loving climax.

And so it would be tonight, I decided. I got up, went to the kitchen and poured myself a large glass of wine. When I got back to the bedroom, I turned Pandora on to a station that played songs by people like Roberta Flack and Nina Simone.

Kevin and I had some toys we played with sometimes—not so much, lately, though. I decided to enhance my lovemaking with a few of those. I opened our "secret" drawer. (I'd often wondered how secret it was. Kids have a way of snooping on their parents and finding things that embarrass them—maybe scar them for life.)

There were two things I knew I wanted. One was a "pocket rocket" vibrator and the other was a realistic rubber dildo. Kevin and I hadn't used the dildo for a very long time but, when we did use it, it was for double penetration games.

As I pulled these out of the drawer, I spotted a silk scarf that we sometimes used as a blindfold and sometimes to tie each other's hands. I loved pulling that scarf slowly across my body and, since this was to be a love-making session, I grabbed it, too.

I spent the better part of an hour making love to myself. I began by slowly taking off my night gown in front of the full-length mirror behind our door. If the light had been bright, I would have seen a little orange peel on my thighs and some wrinkles at the corners of my eyes and mouth. But I'd dimmed the lights and in the soft glow they provided, these minor blemishes (if blemishes they were) were invisible.

I still had a pretty terrific body. Two kids, now teenagers, hadn't destroyed my figure and my breasts were still firm, bigger than they'd been before I had kids. I liked my body.

I lay down on the bed and dragged the silk scarf slowly across my body. This was titillating. It made my body tingle all over. (The wine didn't hurt, I guess.) My nipples hardened as I dragged the soft, silky cloth over them. I felt tingling in my groin and could tell that my cunt was getting wet.

After a few minutes of this teasing, and after I'd finished my glass of wine, I reached for the fake cock. I looked at it closely, examining it in a way that I'd never examined a real cock. I paid attention to the detail that made the toy look so real: the veins, the ridge of the head of the cock, the slit at the tip.

I brought it to my lips and kissed the very tip. Then I flicked my tongue over the slit, as if teasing it, though I was really teasing myself. Then I put the tip of my tongue at the very base of the cock, where it met the balls, and I slowly licked up the underside of the shaft to the very tip.

I'd never played with this dildo like this before. Mostly, like I said, this was a toy for Kevin and me to play with together when we wanted to simulate double penetration. It was always used in my ass or my cunt. I'm pretty sure that Kevin figured that if there was to be a cock in my mouth, it had better be his real cock and not a piece of unfeeling rubber.

I'd masturbated with it before, to be sure. When Kevin was away on trips for a few days, I'd sometimes pulled it out to fuck myself with. But I couldn't remember ever using it in my mouth and I was certain that I'd never kissed it and licked it.

Now, though, it just felt right. Tonight was a romantic session. If I was going to include a cock at all, I should make love to it, too.

I pressed the dildo slowly and gently between my lips, not pressing far in at first. As I felt my mouth fill with a hard cock, I was reminded of Jason's cock that had, just hours ago, filled my mouth. The memory wasn't just a thought. It was more than that. It wasn't just visual image. It was a very concrete tactile memory of Jason's hard cock in my mouth.

Remembering the urgency with which Jason responded to my ministrations, I imagined that the dildo was feeling similar intense desire—that it needed to feel my lips surround it, my tongue play across the underside of it, and, ultimately, my throat engulf it.

I worked it more and more deeply into my mouth until the balls were against my chin. I could hold it there for only few seconds, after which I'd need to pull it out, gasping and on the verge of gagging. After a bit of practice, I got to the point where I could hold it in my throat for longer and swallow repeatedly while it was partly down my throat. That would always drive Kevin crazy. I imagined that it was doing the same to my fantasy lover and I wondered how it would make Jason feel when I tried it on him. (I could tell that the dildo was just a tad bigger than Jason was so I knew I'd be able to take him like this.)

Then I was ready to be fucked. The dildo was wet with my spit, and more. (If you know anything about such matters, you know that deep-throating a cock smears it with more than your average, run of the mill spit. It was slick.) And my cunt was practically dripping. There was no need for artificial lubrication.

I was so ready, I could have slammed the thing in my cunt in a single thrust. But I didn't. Instead, I teased the lips of my pussy with the tip of the cock and then flicked it across my clitoris. When I was ready—well, really, past the time when I was just ready—I slowly pressed it deep in my eager pussy, thrusting slowly at first, and quickening the pace I progressed.

I don't orgasm from penetrative sex alone. I need clitoral stimulation. But if you think that means that intercourse is just something I do for the guy, you don't understand these things. Fucking just feels good—even if it alone doesn't lead to an orgasm.

So, for a long while, I fucked myself with the dildo. I pretended that my lover was getting increasingly aroused, as I was. But my lover couldn't hold out. When my arm was nearly limp with exhaustion from thrusting the dildo in and out of my cunt and my body was tired from arching to meet the thrusts, I imaged that this cock that was pleasing me burst, shooting its sticky cum deep in my spasming quim.

I paused for just a while, regaining my breath and letting my heartbeat return to something approaching normal. Then I did something that surprised me. It wasn't planned; I just did it. I pulled the dildo, slick with my cunt juices, from my pussy and brought it to my mouth. I didn't usually take Kevin in my mouth after he'd fucked me. I like boy-taste better than girl-taste.

But I needed this cock in my mouth now and took it in without hesitation. With my other hand, I grabbed the pocket rocket and managed to turn it on with one hand. I played it across my clitoris as I sucked almost desperately on the dildo. Within minutes, I was writhing on the bed in ecstasy, trying with super-human effort to avoid making noise that would wake the children.

Oh, my God! What a terrific orgasm that was. What a release of tension I didn't know I had. It was incredible! I resolved to do this more often when Kevin was out of town. What's the harm? It's not as if this is cheating.

Of course, what I had done and was planning to do with Jason would be considered cheating my many people. But I didn't think of it that way. I was protecting Caitlin. That's a mother's sacred duty. Fulfilling your sacred duty isn't cheating.

I fell asleep with the toys still lying next to me in my bed. As I drifted off, I wondered what tomorrow would bring. The path I was embarking on was unknowable territory to me. I didn't really have any idea what, exactly, was to come (other than Jason, of course).