A Mother's Sacrifice

"As soon as possible," I told her. "I want things to get this over with."

"It's the right call Joanne," she smiled confidently. "You'll see this will all work out the way it's meant to."

*****

For what had to be the hundredth time this afternoon, I looked at the clock on the wall. It was five past one and I was a nervous wreck. Tommy's appointment with the surrogate was at noon. He hadn't wanted to go and I'd spent the week telling him he needed to. When he really seemed adamant, I'd resorted to letting my emotions get to me and started to cry. Tommy immediately said he would go and I felt terrible for manipulating him. Part of me was glad he wasn't excited about it, I would imagine most men would be thrilled. Then again most men didn't think they were in love with their mother.

Tommy had left at eleven thirty, and I had been a ball of nerves ever since. The thought of this strange woman fucking my son did not appeal to me, let alone she was supposed to be me. My nerves were even more on edge because I'd dreamt of Tommy again last night, but this time it was slow and sweet. Once more I'd woken wet with my nipples so hard they were aching. Despite my bodies need to be taken care of I refused to play with myself after dreaming of my son having sex with me.

While sitting on the couch waiting for him to come home, I'd decided that as soon as Tommy was over this those dreams would stop. If by some chance they didn't it would be my turn to talk to Judy. Trying to keep my mood light I wondered if I di if her solution would be to hook me up with some hot twenty year old. My mood soured as I started to envision it and then figured all I would do is get nervous and stop.

I jumped at the sound of Tommy's car pulling into the driveway. Another look at the clock showed it was only one fifteen. The hotel was a good twenty minute ride. Had it been over that quickly? Well he was young after all. I had been lying on the couch, dressed as always lately in loose fitting jeans and an old t-shirt, but sat up when I hear Tommy putting his key in the door. He entered and walking quickly into the living room, started to walk past me without saying anything.

"Hey!" I called out.

Tommy stopped and I saw his shoulders slump. Still with his back to me he asked softly, "Yes, Mom?"

"Come over here and sit down." When he turned around I patted the couch next to me. "I want to talk to you."

Tommy sighed and came over and sat down. I felt bad when I noticed that he sat as far from me as possible on the couch. Tapping the cushion next to me I said, "Come closer Tommy, its okay."

He nodded and slid over and I gave him a reassuring smile. He replied with a forced one ad I took a moment to look him over. He was wearing a white collared shirt that looked good against his deep tan. His thick black hair had been slicked back; he'd shaved, showing off his pretty features and of course there were those beautiful eyes that were so much like my own. I wondered what the surrogate had thought. To me it seemed she had gotten paid in more ways than one today. Tommy was sitting there looking down and realizing he wasn't going to volunteer bit the bullet.

"So how did it go?"

He looked up at me and shook his head.

"It didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"What I said," he shrugged. "It didn't happen."

"She didn't show?" I asked.

"Yeah Mom, she did."

"So what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

He started to get up, but I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I do Tommy, we've avoided talking about this for weeks, so what happened?"

Tommy looked at my hand on his shoulder and I moved it. But instead of pulling it away, I, as I always used to, placed it against his cheek.

"Please talk to me honey."

Tommy looked as if he were going to move, then leaned into my cheek. I could see by his expression he was torn. He looked as if he was thrilled that I was again being affectionate with him, but there was a look of sadness as well. No, not sadness; longing. I held my hand there a moment longer, then slowly moved it. Tommy sighed and began to speak.

"I got there a little early and she was already there. She had her hair up and was wearing a robe. She told me to sit on the bed."

He stopped and I prodded.

"And?"

"She walked over to me and...." He looked away, "She let her hair down and it looked just like yours. She opened the robe and she was wearing a little red nightie."

He went silent again, but I let him go as I could see he was going to continue, but was having a hard time.

"She sat next to me and when I looked at her, I could see she had the same color eyes we do and I figured they were fake, she was just trying to look like you."

"Did she?"

"Yeah, pretty close." He shrugged. "Her legs weren't as long and she had...." He looked away again, "A big chest."

"I'd trade a little leg for that," I forced a laugh, trying to relax him.

"Mom, you're perfect just the way you are." He said softly.

He was looking into my eyes as he said it and I could see he meant it. I could also see that this was not over yet. He was looking at me like a teenager with a crush, which I supposed was what he was.

"Anyway," he broke his own awkward silence. "She starts talking to me like she's you. She says "So Tommy you think your mom looks good today?"

He shook his head.

"I didn't answer her and she kept going, asking if I wanted to show my mom how much I wanted her. She....started rubbing my leg and..." he began to look more nervous. "She kissed my neck, then asked if I wanted to give my mom a kiss."

Oh, boy I thought, how much of this did I want to hear?

"Did you?" I pushed myself to ask, after all I had told him to talk about it.

"I...yes." He nodded. "Well she kissed me and I started kissing her back. We ummmm, we made out for a few minutes and she was touching me and kissing me and kept asking me what I wanted my mom to do. She asked I wanted to see her tits and I..." he blushed. "Said yes, I'd love to see my mom's tits."

This was getting to where I was going to ask him to fast forward, but the again he'd said it didn't happen.

"She took her top off and pulled my shirt off." He was speaking slowly and softly. "She grabbed...down there." He looked away again. "Then she started kissing me and saying how much she wanted her son, she started to get on her knees..."

"Okay Tommy," I cut in. "I..."

"That's when I stopped her."

"You stopped her?"

"Yes."

I felt a sense of relief until I realized that meant the problem was still going to be there. Judy had been so sure, now what? Tommy kept speaking.

"She started kissing me again and kept saying 'Don't you want your mom to be good to you?' I told her I was done. No offense because she was pretty sexy and part of me wanted to just to do it, but...." He trailed off.

"But what?"

"She wasn't you Mom." He said. "It's more than red hair and pretty eyes and saying 'Mom'."

Reaching out he out his hand on my knee and said softly, "You're the only woman I want Mom."

I looked down at his hand on my knee. Considering the present situation it was not exactly the most appropriate place, but he was already upset. Wanting to comfort him, I put my hand over his. Tommy started to move his hand, but I squeezed it and held it there.

"Tommy, I'm not mad at you." I said softly. "But this is wrong and I guess I was wrong for not trying to talk to you about this. I can't imagine why you would want me that way."

"I don't know what started it Mom." He began. "All of sudden I started seeing you as a woman and not just my mother. You're beautiful, you're sweet, you're loving." He paused and finished in a barely audible whisper, "You're sexy."

"But I'm your mother." Was all I could come up with.

"I know, but you're also a single woman who needs a man to be good to you and you're having problems." He shrugged. "I...part of me is glad you are because I want to be the one to be good to you." Surprisingly he looked me in the eye when he finished. "I want to love you in every way."

He turned his hand beneath mine and wrapped his fingers around it so we were now holding hands. Again I refrained from moving, so he would keep talking.

"Okay Tommy," I nodded. "You keep saying love. Well honey, those videos you've been watching? What those women are doing isn't love it's hardcore sex and that's not how you should be thinking of me."

"Well its..." He started, but I kept going.

"Tommy, nothing in you should want to see me on my knees for you."

I held his gaze as I spoke, hoping being direct would get through to him. He blushed, but didn't look away. In fact when next he spoke he sounded more confident and less nervous than before. "But when you love someone you want to make them feel good. I want to make you feel good Mom, and I want you to make me feel good too." He then completely caught me off guard. "Or do you just think about sweet things when you....take care of yourself."

I felt myself begin to blush.

"Tommy, that's none of your business and you shouldn't be bringing that up."

Tommy gave me a tight smile.

"That's not an answer Mom." His smile changed to that little shy one that I adored, but his words belied that shyness. "Come on Mom, you know you want to have fun. You're a sexy woman in her prime, you know you need it."

"Tommy!" I exclaimed. "You don't...."

I stopped as he had leaned closer to me and whispered, "Please Mom? Please at least let me try."

I sat there speechless as he slid closer until our hips were touching. Still holding my hand, he brought the other up and gently laid it along the side of my head. His gorgeous eyes were staring into mine and I felt my heart begin to pound. I became aware of his hand sliding around to the back of my head and under my hair.

"What are you...." I trailed off as he leaned closer, his head cocked and his lips parted as if he were going to...

Tommy kissed me.

I started to pull back, but he held the back of my head, not roughly, but enough to keep my head from moving. My lips remained still as he kissed me softly. Removing his lips from mine, he said, "Please?"

Too stunned to respond, I just sat there. Tommy saw this as a chance and kissed me again, and harder. I gasped into his lips as they pressed into mine. He began to move them, softly sliding them across my immobile lips. His first kiss turned into another and I had just started to try to pull away when I felt his hand slide up my side and start to grab my tit. I flinched back and pushed him away from me.

"Tommy enough! You don't touch me like that!"

He looked at me stunned. He was breathing hard as was I and he seemed confused.

"But...you were letting me...."

"No, I wasn't!" I snapped. "I just couldn't believe you were doing that!"

"Mom I..."

"Tommy you need to get this shit out of your head, understand? I'm your mother not your lover. What's wrong with you?"

"I..." Tommy looked heartbroken and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. "I love you Mom, I just want to be good to you."

"Well you can't be, not like that." I said firmly. "I'll call Judy and tell her you're going back to see her this week, enough is enough."

Tommy nodded and as tears ran down his cheeks, whispered, "I'm sorry Mom! I just can't help it."

He let out a sob and getting up ran down the hallway and into his room. I let out a deep breath and rubbed at my eyes, wondering what the hell had just happened.

*****

I sat on the bed with my head in my hands, wishing it would stop spinning. The scene on the couch had left me feeling awful. I should have let it be and just called Judy. I had somehow given Tommy a sign that he could try and he did. I had sat there and not reacted right away which had made it worse and then I had yelled at him. It had broken my heart to see him upset, but what should I have done.

I waited awhile and had knocked on his door, but he didn't answer. I remained outside his room and could hear him crying. I had then come in here and sat down and cried myself. I had no idea what to do. Tommy was in distraught and it was because he desired me. I looked up and glanced at my phone on the night stand. I should call Jud make another appointment. Then again why?

Judy had been sure the surrogate would work. That it would get it out of his system. Well it hadn't, all it had done was make him want me that much more, so much more he had made a move on me. This was not going to go away. How could I help him? As I thought back on everything Judy had said, I recalled her saying that sometimes with the surrogates when someone like Tommy got far enough into it, they realized how bad it was.

Based on what had happened on the couch that didn't seem to be right either. Then again, I had freaked out as soon as his hand reached my tit, what if I had let him go further? Would he have stopped? Tommy had also made the move. What if I was to approach him and do so fairly aggressively? Would it maybe shock him out of it? I was willing to try anything to help, but that could make it worse. What if I came onto him and he was fine with it? I would then stop and that would make it even worse. At that point I would be nothing short of a cock tease.

We couldn't go on like this and I wouldn't. Tommy was everything to me and I needed us to be okay together. Judy had insisted the only way to get him over this was to give him his fantasy. The surrogate was supposed to do that, but Tommy wanted the real thing. There would be no sense in trying that again. As I thought this through my gaze idly wandered the room and stopped when I saw my red robe on the chair in the corner. Tommy had mentioned it in his journal. He thought of me in it. I had also been wearing it the first time I'd dreamt of him in my bed.

I narrowed my eyes and lingered on that thought. Had I been having those dreams because deep down I knew that was the only thing that would help him? I felt my heart start to pound again, was I really thinking of sleeping with my own son? I couldn't so it. But by the same token, wasn't that what a good mother would do? Sacrifice for her son? Do anything in her power to help? Standing up I walked over to the robe and picked it up. Taking it with me, I left the bedroom and entering the bathroom turned on the shower. Getting in and letting the hot water hit the tense muscles in my back, I closed my eyes and prepared myself, to do the unthinkable, seduce my son.

*****

I stood in front of Tommy's door and raised my hand to knock. I quickly brought my hand back down and started to turn away. I caught myself and faced his door again. I had been standing here for the last ten minutes, trying to get up the nerve to enter his room. I was wearing just the red robe. I had thought about lingerie, but decided to go with simple; I was bare foot, with nothing on underneath the robe. I wasn't wearing make-up and once I'd dried my hair, left it down.

I took a deep breath and prepared to try to knock again. This was it, the point of no return, once I walked into his room dressed like this only two things could happen. One, he could lose his nerve-which is what I hoped- and all this would be over with, or I would end up fucking my son. Before I could lose my nerve again, I brought my hand up and knocked. There was no answer and I did it again, but much harder.

"Tommy?" I called through the door.

"I don't want to talk anymore." He called out.

"Tommy I need to talk to you, so come unlock the door."

"It's unlocked."

Rolling my eyes and feeling like an idiot I turned the knob to find that indeed he had not locked me out. Okay, here we go. I entered the room and saw Tommy sitting on the side of his bed, facing away from me. The light was off, but he had lit several candles. That was another trait he had gotten from me, he loved to lie there and watch the candles flicker until he fell asleep. He didn't turn around as I closed the door and I slowly walked around to his side of the bed. I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt and paused to look at his back. Tommy worked out at a local gym and it showed in his arms and shoulders. He really was a damn good looking kid; he should still be with Lisa, not dreaming of me.

I came around to stand next to him and noticed he was looking to his right and hadn't seen me yet.

"Hey honey," I said softly, "Want some company?"

I really don't want to talk Mom," Tommy began, turning towards me, "I..."

He stopped in mid sentence and his jaw dropped. The robe barely covered my ass and left my legs exposed to my upper thigh. I stood there, trying not to look self conscious as I watched his eyes make their way up and down my legs.

"Oh, shit." He whispered.

"Yeah honey? You like my robe?"

I spoke slowly, keeping my voice low and trying to sound seductive.

"I...I do." He managed to get out while his eyes remained locked on my smooth white thighs.

"What else do you like?" I asked.

"Ummm," Tommy tore his gaze from my legs and looked up at me. "I... don't think I should say..."

You like my legs don't you honey?"

I lifted my right leg and put my foot on the bed next to him. The movement caused the robe to fall away exposing my inner thigh. I kept my hand between my legs to had the robe in place, I was not quite ready to flash him my pussy. Hopefully I wouldn't have to.

"Mom," he was turning redder by the minute, "What are you doing?"

"Just answer me," I prodded him, "Do you like them?"

I brought my other hand over and placing it on my thigh began trailing my long red nails along my soft skin and asked, "You like how those nails look?"

"Y...yes."

"But you like how my thigh looks better though don't you?"

Tommy's leg was shaking back and forth nervously and after a pause he whispered, "Oh, yeah."

"Well show me then." I gave him an enticing smile, "Show your Mom how much you like her legs."

Tommy licked his lips and stared at me. I cocked my head, and gave him another smile. "Go ahead honey, you know you want to."

He let out a deep breath and reached for my leg. He stopped with his fingers inches from my calf and looked up at me, as if waiting for me to take it away. Reaching down, I grabbed his wrist and lifting his hand placed it on my thigh. He gasped and I could feel his fingers trembling. Holding my hand over his, I slid it up and down my lower thigh. Tommy's eyes were wide, not believing that he was touching me and that made two of us, but I continued to help him caress my thigh. I brought his hand up towards the top of my inner thigh and let it go.

Tommy started at his hand, then slowly started running his fingertips along my soft skin.

"That feels nice." I said quietly, I caught myself thinking that it really did. His fingers were barely touching me and I felt a shiver go through me as they went further up my thigh.

"There you go honey," I encouraged him, "Go as far as you like."

Tommy placed his palm against my flesh and started rubbing harder, I closed my eyes, unable to watch as his hand began working its way toward my pussy. My heart began to pound as I felt the edge of his hand reach the crease of my thigh. He was inches from my pussy and I started to let the robe go, when he jerked his hand away from me. I opened my eyes to see him staring first at his hand then at me.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Mom what are you doing?" he shook his head, "You...you just yelled at me for trying to kiss you and now you're standing here looking...." He sighed, "Amazing I don't...."

"I want to let you...." I started, but he cut me off."

"Please don't tease me Mom, I...I can't take it."

Tommy had said that last part in a tone that was close to a whimper and put his head in his hands. My heart went out to him, but at the same time I felt myself begin to hope that he really couldn't do this. Sitting down next to him, I put my hand on his bare shoulder. Tommy looked up at me and I said quietly.