A New Alexandra Ch. 02

This was new territory. Not the act itself - she'd tried shaving completely once before, during her senior year of high school - but the promise to do it for someone else, and especially how freely she felt she gave that promise. She felt she was already getting sucked into Kira's orbit, and they'd only met the day before and hadn't even gone on a real date.

After finishing her legs, Alexandra took a deep breath and applied the lather, carefully making sure it covered everything. Then she began, first with very short strokes on her lips and around her most sensitive parts, rinsing her razor every stroke. If there was one thing I don't want, it's razor burn. She continued - stroke, rinse, stroke - with tiny strokes until her lips were bare. A few minutes later, all the hair was gone. It took only a second longer for her to realize what else had happened: she was turned on. Really turned on, in fact. She'd been ordered to shave her pussy by another woman, and she'd done it. Now she was massively aroused at the thought of showing off her newly-bald slit to Kira later that evening. Because, make no mistake, she knew that was going to happen.

Yet she stood for a moment thinking: yes or no? Let some of this out now, or save all of this lust for later? Later, she thought.

When she got back into her bedroom, she saw she had two texts from Kira. The first read "Russian Tea Time, 77 E. Adams. 8:30." The second "Can't wait to see you."

It was now almost 4. Just a few more hours. Deep breaths. Time to just chill out. She texted back: "Sounds great. Same to you. ;)" and put the phone aside.

A couple hours of mindless TV later, it was time to get ready.

The clothes she'd originally planned to wear were already dirty, and Kira had already seen them too; Alexandra had worn them last night and they were her best look - a tight black sweater and her nicest jeans. So tonight had to be something different. After a few false starts, she had it: a burgundy-colored long-sleeved tunic dress, heavy black leggings, and a brand-new pair of black ankle boots. Underneath she slipped on a tiny wisp of a black thong and a matching lacy bra. Her hair had finally dried, and she put it up in a bun. Casual, low-maintenance, and easy, as was her makeup. She'd have to wear a long overcoat anyway, so warmth was only a secondary concern.

She checked her texts, then her emails. Nothing that needed to be answered immediately. Just before heading out, she threw a casual change of clothes into a large purse, along with the shirt she'd borrowed from - or rather, been assigned by - Kira the prior night. Then she added her toothbrush. At least she was being honest with herself: Alexandra already knew she wasn't coming home tonight.

Fortunately, it wasn't far to the Metra and she'd timed her departure well for the train's arrival. Onboard the train, it was pleasantly warm for the fifteen-minute ride up to Van Buren. The butterflies filled Alexandra's stomach in earnest. Though she'd tried to not think about it, she was really going through with this, an actual date with another woman, and it was probably the most excited she'd ever been for a first date. But what did it mean? She'd always considered herself straight before, but -"

Her phone screen lit up.

A text from Lydia: Hey, sorry about earlier. I think I came off like a total bitch.

She responded: It's ok. Just surprised and didn't know how to help you as a friend. You're clearly in a tough position.

A reply: I'll be ok. What are you up to tonight? I'm bored as hell and don't want to hang out with my roommates anymore."

Shit. A good friend here would be supportive now, but I can't do that because I'm off going on a date with someone I'd never in a million years thought I'd go out with. So Alexandra sheepishly replied: I'm actually out tonight for a change. Sorry to disappoint. Maybe brunch on Sunday or something quiet?

Lydia: Brunch on Sun sounds great!

Pause.

Lydia: Have fun on your date ;)

Alexandra: Lydia Casey Shiflett! You mind your own business!

Lydia: Oh, sorry, have fun on your date, MOM! ;)

If only she knew. The train ground to a halt at Van Buren, and Alexandra hopped out, checking her reflection in the windows as she exited the station. It was 8:15 and the restaurant was only a 5-minute walk away, at most. So instead of turning left and into the city, she exited to the right and into Grant Park. Turning around, the skyline of Chicago crisply illuminated itself against the cold night. Her phone buzzed. Another text.

Kira: Hey, got here a little early. I got us a table in the back room. Shoot me a text with a drink order when you're 5 mins away and I'll have it waiting. See you soon!

Alexandra felt her heart begin to pound. Five minutes away. That's...now, unless I try to delay some more. No, definitely I do not want to do that. Drink order. Drink order. She typed: Perfect timing! I'll be there in 5. What are you drinking?

Kira: Nothing as yet. If you're down for it, we could do a vodka flight. It's a Russian place and the vodka actually tastes good, which is always a plus.

Alexandra: Go hard or go home! I'm in.

Kira: You'll see me in the very back corner booth. See you soon, babe.

Kira was exactly where she said she'd be, and she broke into a smile and stood as Alexandra picked her way among the closely-packed tables. She was wearing exactly what she promised in their conversation the prior night: a tight grey sweater-dress, black leggings, and long black suede boots with heels. As Alexandra approached her, the effect of the heels was incredible again - Kira towered over her by at least 6 inches, even with the boost from her own footwear.

Without thinking, Alexandra leaned forward and kissed the blonde. God, she'd been wanting to do that all day.

"So, shall we?" Kira gestured downward at the table, a vodka flight already laid out.

Alexandra quickly unzipped her jacket and stuffed it in the corner of the booth beside her. She faced Kira, and behind that a cream-colored wall with framed posters of Soviet propaganda. The vodka flight sat on the table, some of the six samples alarming shades of green, pink, and purple. Each one was labeled: lime, blackcurrant tea, and coriander, among others.

"The traditional Russian toast," Kira began, "is 'na zdorovye,' which means 'to health.' That's the same standard toast as in every language that I actually do speak, so let's do something else, ok?"

Alexandra couldn't help but smile.

Kira continued. "So, perhaps we each pick one and then toast to new beginnings?"

Alexandra reached out for the green shot glass - lime. She could see a small wisp of her hair that had fallen out of her bun, a slight fleck of mousey brown in the corner of her vision. She brushed it aside.

Across from her, Kira reached for the one labeled "blackcurrent tea" and lifted it in front of her face. "To new beginnings."

"New beginnings," Alexandra repeated. She downed half the shot. "Trade?"

They switched glasses. As she sipped from the blackcurrant, Alexandra noticed a small smudge of Kira's dark red lipstick on the side of the glass. She felt a tingling feeling course through her body.

Conversation came easily, more easily than it ever had on any date Alexandra had been on. Kira talked about her childhood in Texas, her time at Princeton, and her older brother, a pilot for United Airlines. They ordered food and kept working on the vodka. Alexandra was just polishing off the last of the coriander vodka when Kira asked her "And you? Tell me about your family?"

"There's not really that much to say. I'm an only child. I grew up outside of Pittsburgh in an area people generally call the North Hills. Middle-class suburbia, I guess. I have a few cousins, but they mostly live out in Washington state, where my mom's from. My mom's a real estate agent and my dad is an executive at an engineering firm's Pittsburgh office. We're close enough, I guess, but it's not like I talk to them every day if that's what you're asking. I think I'm making them sound rather boring."

"I was trying to figure out whether you're 21-going-on-18 or 21-going-on-25. That's most of the answer that I was missing. And is that life the future you want for yourself?"

Alexandra thought she caught a mischievous glint in the green eyes across from her. Kira wasn't wearing glasses tonight, but instead had used dark eyeliner to create a heavy, cats-eye effect.

"Ummm, well, I don't really think so. Like last night what you were saying about traveling, learning languages, just sorta living life, I guess that's a lot closer. My parents are Catholic so they're all into the heaven-and-hell thing and afterlife being a just reward for how you live your life. I'm not. I kinda take the attitude that I have around eighty years or so to do what I'm going to do, and twenty-one of them are already gone. Now it's on me to me to make the rest of them count."

The food arrived. Alexandra had a delicious beef stew, perfect for a cold winter night, and Kira ate a large dish of Russian-style meatballs with brown gravy. They kept drinking, and Alexandra could feel the alcohol going to her head - and perhaps the judgment going away from it.

This, and perhaps only this, could account for the faux pas that came out of her mouth next. "So, um, what caused you to be...you know?"

Kira put down her fork. "Why am I a lesbian?"

Alexandra felt the room closing around her. "Erm...um...well, yes...I mean, I'm kinda trying to figure all this out..."

To Alexandra's great relief, the woman across from her broke into a broad grin and laughed. "Dude, lesbians are born, not made. I date only women now because I'm only attracted to women. It's really that simple. The biggest reason it's so often such a painful personal journey for people is because society is so straight-up heteronormative. Everyone grows up and it's like 'When are you going to get your first boyfriend? See that charming prince in the Disney special? What boys do you like?' And yeah, it was like that for me. I dated men for a long time until I figured it all out, but it's not like I wasn't attracted to women. I just tried really, really hard to repress it because we all want to fit in. And that goes even more for people who are hard-charging, success-oriented people. We don't want to do anything that unnecessarily makes waves, and - face it - being gay used to be a really big barrier to success for a long, long time. So to really answer the question, nothing caused me to be a lesbian. I just am."

She paused, breathed, continued. "And so, in this fucked-up societal structure we've been living in, we have a lot of women who try to rigidly conform to what society expects of them without ever asking themselves what they really want, as in who they really are attracted to. For some people, the realization of being gay is kinda unremarkable: from an early age, all you remember is being attracted to people of your own gender like it's the most natural thing in the world. For others, it takes a while for the reality to come into focus. The more experiences you have across life and with different people, the easier it comes out. And I have to say, you may not have realized it, but seeing you it was pretty clear. The way you looked at me the first time we met, the way you were totally natural kissing and hooking up with another woman for the first time, the way you're clearly fighting a few inner conflicts with this. Give it time. It's totally fine to be confused. So, bottom's up?"

They toasted again, as the still-silent Alexandra tried to process the words. Heteronormative? Societal structure? Barriers to success? These were all terms she'd heard before in classes but had never considered might apply to her own life.

The drink gave her yet more unneeded boldness. "So, can I ask a question to avoid embarrassing myself in the future?"

Kira nodded, the smile lines near her eyes giving away that she was suppressing another laugh.

"Can you explain the thing with lesbians who kinda try to look like men?"

The laugh came, but then a deep sigh. "Alexandra, nobody can ever explain the dynamic between butch women and femme women, because anyone who claims to fully understand it is going to be explaining much other than what they can see. The best I can do is that some lesbian women seek to cultivate a societally-conventional 'feminine' appearance and some don't. Some women are attracted to one type of appearance, some to a wide range. If people would stop putting labels on it, I think it would be much easier for everyone. I respect everyone for the choices they make about how they want to look and who they want to date, and my personal tastes happen to run pretty widely. But I'm never going to tell some woman how she should look or act or who she should date. Unless, of course, she wants me to, in which case I'm totally game." She concluded with a wink, and then fell silent.

Alexandra couldn't help but smile. In spite of what she was coming to realize were naive questions, she was getting a polite, non-judgmental crash course in the Kira Manning view of the world, and somehow not failing at her date. "So, I'm not totally ridiculous to wonder?"

"Nope, but remember. Wonder, but don't judge. Women deal with enough crap for being women, gay women deal with a lot more, and we should stick together rather than playing some better-than-thou game. Now, dessert, coffee?"

"Um, either, both?" Alexandra felt the jittery nerves returning. Kira had clearly decided that the date was wrapping up, but the younger woman had no idea what to expect next.

"Either we can have here, or if it's the coffee you want, I've got that at my place." The smile returned as she took stock of Alexandra's reaction, which was again a series of stammering syllables: "I...y-y-yeah, I think coffee is...um, good."

Kira grinned again. "I have one of those cool AeroPress coffee makers at home. It's better than what they make here. You down?"

Alexandra nodded.

Kira slid over on the bench and began to stand. "Well, just sit tight for a moment. I'm going to hit the ladies' room, and if they ask if we want the check, I'm paying."

While waiting on Kira and the check, Alexandra checked her phone. The screen lit up momentarily with a new text message from Lydia.

She sighed, hoping her friend was managing to keep boredom from turning into depression. Instead she realized that the fact that she was on a date was of significant amusement to her younger friend, who had kept an imaginary running commentary of the date, with one message every ten minutes or so, ranging from "Right now, Alexandra is wondering if this guy is actually the one who asked her out" to "Hm, he's got funny ears" to "Alexandra is thinking about her economics homework and wondering if she can text her dear friend Lydia."

To that last one, Alexandra texted back: I can indeed text my dear friend Lydia. Your commentary is correct in only one way.

Lydia: What's that?

Alexandra: I did have a brief thought about econ.

Lydia: So it's going well, huh?

Alexandra: Think so? Definitely different, had a little too much to drink, not sure what's next.

Lydia: Go. For. It. You know you wanna.

Alexandra: You know I'm not you.

Alexandra: Lol, just kidding, I'm definitely down.

Lydia: Sluuuuuuuut. No, jk, have fun! And stop texting your dear friend Lydia.

Alexandra: Yes, MOM.

Alexandra slid her phone back into her purse just as Kira emerged back alongside the table, sliding into the booth and swiping the check in one motion. By the time Alexandra looked up, the blonde was shaking a smiling head in her direction.

By the time the check returned, Alexandra had ordered an Uber, slated to arrive in three minutes. She felt like she was floating as she headed toward the door steps behind Kira's athletic, elegant strides, only to be hit with a blast of Chicago winter air as the door opened onto the darkened street. Outside, they huddled together, embracing as much to stay warm as anything else.

"Fucking freezing, even for Chicago," said Kira. Her breath streamed out from her full lips in a bright-white cloud. "Every winter I swear I'm going to leave before the next one, then those three weeks of summer just draw me right back in."

Alexandra felt herself shudder with giggles. "I know what you mean, but I kinda like watching the snow fall at least, and how a nice blanket of snow makes everything so much quieter. It's like even the big city can't compete with nature." Without thinking, she craned her neck upward, wrapping her hands gently over Kira's shoulders as their lips brushed slightly together, only to be interrupted by a brief buzz of her phone. Damn, how's that for timing?

As she followed Kira into the back seat of the Uber, Alexandra could hear Kira already laughing with the driver, a young black man in a newsboy hat. He turned his head towards the center of the car as she fastened the seatbelt. "And given that I know Miss Manning here, you must be Alexandra?"

"I am. You're Darnell?"

"Honey, would the Uber app ever lie about my name?"

Kira broke in. "Darnell and Paul live two doors down the hall from me. He has the awful job of being the treasurer of our condo board, which means he gets to deal with all the bills for burst pipes, snow removal, all that joy."

"But I also get to deal with all our lovely residents like yourself. And some of the not so lovely ones, but hey." He had a slight Southern accent paired with a deep baritone voice, the kind of voice that one would expect to hear from a radio announcer.

He pulled the car away from the curb, merging into the stop-and-go cycle of traffic lights in the Loop. Alexandra found herself watching as a Chicago evening slid by her eyes, bundled-up office workers heading home late, tourists shuffling out for drinks and staring at the city lights, the city's homeless population layering itself in blankets and heading for the dry, sheltered doorways of closed business. While the scene continued slowly past, she felt Kira's gloved fingers intertwine themselves with her own and failed to suppress a contented sigh.

Alexandra was just about to turn her head when she felt Kira's warm breath and her voice in her ear: "Is it against the rules to make out in an Uber?"

She whispered back. "Dunno, never done it. Ask the driver?" The tingling feeling she'd felt several times at dinner was back again.

"Hey, Darnell," said Kira, loud enough to be heard over the music. "You mind if we, ah..."

"Just pretend I'm not here, honey."

The kisses started off softly, their lips barely touching, gentle, breathy brushes back and forth. Soon, though, Alexandra felt Kira begin to lightly nibble on her upper lip, then the lower, and soon they were engaged more deeply, tongues gently probing each other as they explored. Alexandra felt a jolt as their eyelashes brushed each other several times, the long, thick lashes giving her an entirely new sensation.

The car navigated the urban streets, weaving back and forth, but time was only a vague notion at this point. Alexandra's body was getting warmer under the layers of fabric, no doubt about it, and she could neither deny nor any longer find reason to be embarrassed by the heat she could feel growing between her thighs.

Alexandra's own kisses were getting more aggressive as Kira's hand moved to the nape of her neck. The gloved fingers massaging her scalp and locking the two women together felt aggressive, but also secure and comforting all at once.

Just as suddenly as she'd initiated it, Kira broke contact and gave Alexandra a gentle peck on the tip of her nose. "More in a few minutes," she whispered.