A Paladin's War Ch. 02

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In the dim light from a single lantern, Noah tried to hold Elaina down as she thrashed on the small cot. In the next room over, he'd been woken by her screaming and rushed in, only to find her flailing around as if fighting off invisible enemies. She was strong, so strong she kept throwing him free, sometimes with enough force to send him sprawling across the floor, or even lifting him into the air, but he came back every time, helping however he could. Whatever was happening to her, the melda was pulsing with fear, sorrow, anger, and pain. So much pain. Noah's own face was wet with tears as he fought to keep hold of her. "I'm here, my love," he whispered as she struggled against his attempt to pin her arms at her sides. "I'm here." Her eyes were not quite closed, showing the whites behind. If she'd been biting uncontrollably, or not breathing Noah would have said she was having a seizure, but apart from the frequent snarls or whimpers or cries - and the thrashing - she appeared to be simply dreaming. When he'd first run in, afternoon light had been streaming in through the small window above the bed, but now it was dark. How long had he been here? Two hours? Four? His arms burned from the effort of restraining an arohim. The legends had never said much about their inhuman strength.

"Noah?" Edda said uncertainly from behind. "What is happening?"

Noah looked back over his shoulder to see his sister in the doorway. She was in a white nightgown and holding a candle on a dish for light. "I don't know, Edda," he replied with a grunt as a particularly violent spasm almost kicked him free again. "I'm just trying to stop her hurting herself or putting a hole in the side of the house." He wasn't exaggerating; when he'd first come in Elaina's fist had been colliding repeatedly with the stone wall next to the bed, and the stone was cracked from the impact.

"Can I help?"

"Bring water!" Noah asked through teeth clenched with effort as Elaina bucked wildly. It wasn't easy, and it was only a matter of time before she sent him flying again. "And something to tie her down with! Rope from the barn, belts, saddle girths, anything!" He didn't look back again, but he heard Edda's bare feet slapping the floorboards as she hurried off. Should've asked for a bloody quart of whisky!

Elaina calmed some while he was waiting for Edda to return, and he started to relax until he saw the trickle of blood from her nose. Frowning, he looked her over carefully, putting his face close to hers to see better in the dim light. She might start thrashing again any moment, but he was likely more in danger of being hurt than she was. "What is happening to you?" He muttered as he gently turned her head, wincing when he saw her pillow darkened by blood that matted her fine hair. "If this is what being a bloody meldin means, then I want out!" His words contradicted the way he was tenderly brushing her hair back from her face.

Edda came back with water and enough ropes to restrain a shire horse. She'd even thought to bring some towels, which Noah used to clean the blood from Elaina's nose. Her cheek had grown swollen and purple all on its own, too, as if she'd been struck hard in the face. Feeling more helpless than ever before in his life, Noah secured her to the bed and sat with her as the night wore on. Edda took a spot by the door, curling her legs beneath her and watching silently. Noah didn't have the heart to ask her to leave. You'd better bloody come back to me, he thought doggedly. I don't know where you are right now, but if you don't come back soon I'm going to come in there and bloody well pull you out!

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2.3: The Way Out

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Aran floated in an endless void. There was no light, no sound, no thing. He wanted to scream, but he had no voice or mouth with which to do it. He remembered it all; the killing, the dying, the pain, the suffering, the loss, the heartbreak. He had faced it all a thousand times and more in different forms and in different lives. What now? He wondered bitterly. What further tortures must I endure? No man should have to live through this! Watching his loved ones die again and again!

Out of habit, he sensed for the collections of sensations inside him that represented his meldin, but found nothing. He thought that might have been the worst part of the whole ordeal; being without the vala was one thing, but being cut off from Jeira and Sorla, Rayna and Bella, Induin and Liaren, Evoni...

Elaina. Her absence hurt as much as all the others combined. Whatever and wherever this place was, he was here alone. As alone as he'd ever been in his life. Did he even have a life, anymore?

Suddenly, he had a body again and he was standing naked on a dirt road that wound through an ancient forest of oak and elm and birch and fig. He knew this road, this forest, this place. While he was remembering it, the pains and hurts he'd felt during the dreams all came crashing into his awareness at once, some old, some new, all enough to knock him to his knees with a scream. "Oh, Gods!" He croaked, the dust of the road puffing up around his breath. When had he fallen the rest of the way? His cheek was pressed into the ground. Aros, he was hurting! He began to twitch, to spasm uncontrollably, and it took him a minute to realise he was laughing. Had he gone mad?

Not mad, he said to himself as he wheezed hoarsely in the dust. It's just funny, that's all. Where are you, Aros? If this keeps up, by the time I face Maloth, I'll be a shell, an empty husk, and the world will pay for it. You came to me before, so where are you now?

"He is blinded to you," a voice said suddenly. Aran managed to raise his eyes enough to see bare feet in front of him. Unable to lift his head any higher, he flopped onto his back with a groan. Looking up, he saw an upside-down image of himself clad in nothing but a critical expression, arms folded across his chest.

"What do you mean?" Aran croaked. "How can that be?"

The other Aran unfolded his arms and moved in to offer him a hand. Aran managed to raise his arm high enough to take the hand, then he was pulled to his feet. He leaned heavily on the other Aran, unable to hold himself up on his own. "You are in another place, now," he said patiently. "One in which Aros has no presence."

Aran coughed, and blood splashed onto the other Aran's shoulder, but he didn't seem to mind. "So I am lost here, then? Alone?"

"Not if you find your way back," other Aran replied, turning him so he was facing down the road again, the same way he had been before falling.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" He asked, wincing as he looked down at his body, a mess of cuts, scrapes and bruises all the way to his toes.

"That," other Aran said, letting him go to stand on his own. "Is your own decision." Unable to twist his neck to look behind him, Aran made a careful, shuffling turn to see the road empty other than for himself.

Helplessness overwhelmed him, then. The dreams had told the truth of it; there was no point looking any further. Without his vala, without Aros, he was not enough to do what needed to be done. How many times had he seen his friends, his lovers, his family, die? All because he had no power.

So, what was the point, then? He stood for a long time, looking down the road, pondering that thought. What were those other lives meant to show me? A thought bloomed in his mind, then, like a bright star alone in an otherwise midnight sky. He felt his cracked lips leaking fresh blood as he smiled, but he hardly felt it. That's it. That is the point! He took a step, and then another, and another.

It was time to find his way out of here.

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END OF CHAPTER 2

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