A Passion Play Ch. 03

"We're friends," I said dejected, "we live together."

"Something happened either late last night or early this morning," Greyhair continued, "that caused you to chase after her on her morning jog. You were not dressed typically to go for a jog. The two of you are at least six or seven miles from your home. You had obviously caught up with her. We had a call from a gentleman that was walking his dogs. He thought that there was a girl being assaulted. Raped."

"And I witnessed a brutal anal rape when I arrived at the scene," Bitch added.

Sergeant Song was smiling. What a stinking ape he was.

"So Mr. Reimer," Greyhair went on, "and I remind you the interview tape is running, you appear to have a black belt in karate, what can you offer us in your defense to suggest that Miss Harris was not intimidated by you, that she didn't try to run away from you, to try to escape?"

Bitch interjected again, "And that you didn't chase after her, catch her on the other side of town. Then rape her brutally. As I saw you do?"

Before I had a chance to answer Sergeant Song leant towards me and said, "Jo-ee Leimer, d'you have anal sex with Miz Harris before dis morning?"

"No," I answered, not liking where this was going.

Song with - death breath - went on, "D'you have a vaginal inno-course with Miz Harris befo' dis morning?

"No," I answered meekly. Inno-course?

"This is our conundrum Mr. Reimer," Greyhair added, "it doesn't seem likely that two young people, would engage in consensual anal sex, for the first time, on the other side of town, in winter, in a public place, at six in the morning, and you dressed in a judo uniform."

I simply hung my head down. This was not going well at all.

"Meesta Leimer d'you have anything to say to us?" Song asked.

"I didn't rape her. It was entirely consensual. If she tells you any differently she is lying." I didn't even sound very convincing to myself. What could I do? Tell them that she lost her ass in a bet and that I was chasing her down to collect? That would have buried me.

As he slid a pad of paper to me together with a pen Sergeant Song half growled in his high pitched voice, "You be wise to 'white' down statement now. You don't have to, you can wait. Wait for a lawyah. Still, you be wise to 'white' statement now."

I needed a lawyer. I couldn't afford one. My parents five hundred miles away wouldn't have cared about this, they didn't give a shit about me before this. They won't start now.

Never in my life had I ever felt so dejected. So very alone. God had abandoned me completely. My life was over.

"Mr. Reimer, do you have anything to say?"

"I-I d-didn't do it. I didn't rape her," was all I could manage.

"Then 'white' statement," Song said as he got up.

They all walked out locking the door behind them.

They left me there. I cried to myself. Me with a black belt in karate not afraid of anything or anybody, I was crying. I thought about Eve and how she would not accept this turn of events. I thought about how much I loved her. How she was lost to me now too. I was going to go to jail for rape. It was all fundamentally my fault. I shouldn't have been so damn arrogant. I shouldn't have pressed the bet. I shouldn't have busted my spleen to win the bet. Eve with all her moral determination would not allow it. Her parents wouldn't allow her to be with someone like me, a convicted rapist. Sitting in jail convicted rapist. My studies would be on hold. Fuck no -- they'd be over. Do they even let convicted rapists in university? I'd be on a sexual offender list for the rest of my life. I had visions of mothers shunning their children away from the playground as I, a decrepit rubby, sat on a park bench. Aqualung, with snot running down my face. I truly fucked up now. I just wanted to die. I sat there with tears running down my face for forty five minutes or an hour. Maybe longer. Time, the whole universe was out of synch, totally disconnected.

I started to write my testimonial statement. I wrote and I wrote. I was thirsty, they brought me water. I needed to pee, they let me go. They gave me pathetic tuna sandwiches at one point. Mainly, they left me there to rot.

Eventually the door opened, Bitch and Greyhair walked in again and sat down. This is it, I thought.

"Miss Harris refuses to sign a statement attesting to the rape," Greyhair said.

That was good news.

Bitch broke in, "But we believe that she's not doing it because she's frightened of you."

Oh shit.

After a moment Greyhair spoke, "You are not going to be charged with rape. Only with public indecency."

Thank you God.

"But," he continued, "here's the deal." He looked at me with narrow eyes. "You know you have Mr. Harris to thank for this, Miss Harris' father. He simply did not want to have Miss Harris exposed to any more trauma, certainly not the trauma of a court room. He basically plea bargained on your behalf. We will drop the rape charge..."

"And the aggravated assault charge," Bitch intervened.

"To a lesser charge...of Public Indecency," he continued, glancing at Bitch, "if you agree to vacate the premises..."

"Permanently," she chimed in.

"And immediately," he concluded.

"What premises?" I asked knowing the answer already.

"The house that you share with Miss Harris and the other girls."

"What about Christa?" I asked, more for her concern than anything else.

"She won't be charged," he answered.

I can live with that I thought. Then I thought again. I have nowhere to go and no money.

"After we process you and if the Justice allows it, you will be let go. I will personally drive you home...to establish that you actually live there. Then you will have twelve hours to clear out of there. Do you understand?" Bitch said as she sat there all arrogant.

"Yes," was all I could muster.

"Good, because if you didn't agree you would be charged with rape, in spite of the lack of Miss Harris' statement," she said.

"I have nowhere to go," I said sheepishly.

"It's not our problem young man," Greyhair countered, "we can't have you living with five girls if you are a potential threat to them. We can get a court order to that effect if we need to."

Before I was allowed to leave Song sat me down. His breath stunk of tobacco and garlic. Garlic I think. The tobacco was so strong. It must of been garlic as the background odor. Or shit maybe. He was right across the table from me reading out my testimonial statement, which I had just written.

"It say here" in his Oriental accent, "'that her breath was ragged.' What that mean? Her breath bad?"

His breath knocked me back, again.

"Nnoo...I mean..."

"Is her breath ragged like rag doll? Or does it mean her breath ragg-ed like saw or something?"

"I really don't know...it seemed the right word. I'll just cross it out."

Song's handed me his pen and the clip board with my testimonial. I crossed it out.

By the time I was processed and delivered home by Bitch, who did indeed verify that I lived there, Christa had already arrived and was locked in her room. The mood in the house was somber.

Officer Bitch walked into my room and asked, "Is this bed, dresser and table yours?"

"It came with the house, it cost me forty bucks. I don't need it."

"Then when I come back tomorrow, on my day off...I want to see that computer, these clothes, the stereo and all your stuff out of here, and not just moved to another room. The bed, dresser and table can stay here, if you want," she said pointing at me. "But you have to be out of here! Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," I answered meekly.

I told everyone who gathered briefly what had happened and that I need to move out right away. Everyone was in tears, except Christa, she was still in her room. Eve was in shock.

I tried to call Ron and ask him if could crash on his couch for a few days but there was no answer at his place. I took that as a yes.

I knocked on Eve's door. I could hear her crying inside her room. I felt horrible.

"Come in," she said between sobs.

"I'm so sorry Eve. It's all my fault." I lay on the bed next to her. Her black rimmed glasses were off. Tears were running down her face. Her nose was running, her pillow was wet.

"I don't want to lose you," she said between sobs. I put my arm around her. "Where will you go?"

"Ron will let me stay at his place for a few days until I get myself sorted out." I lied. She cried in earnest again.

"But I don't want you to go. Don't go!"

"I have to Eve. I have no choice." I kissed her teary cheek.

"Stay in my room with me. Just say that you moved out."

"Eve, that ain't gonna work." I hugged her again as she wept.

"Eve. I love you," I said in as steady a voice as I could manage. As soon as she heard me say those three words she erupted into a full blown gale of tears. Her whole body was shaking.

"I-I- love you too! D-don't leave me!" She stammered out.

"Eve. I'm not leaving you. Except that I -- I have to leave."

I tried to comfort her by rubbing her back and telling her not to worry. We sat up and she blew her nose a few times trying to regain her composure. She searched for her glasses, unsuccessfully. She asked, "Can you afford to get another room?"

"No," I answered, "my portion of the lease here is pre-paid. I just don't have the money. Maybe if you girls manage to sublet the room....I don't know. Don't you worry about it."

She just sat there weeping. The bed was a jumble of used, wet tissues. She was a mess with her head hung down. Her hair was all matted and teared up. I pulled a locket of her hair back and tucked it behind her ear.

"It was supposed to be tears of joy," she said.

What?

"I don't understand Eve. What do you mean?"

"I waited so long," she said between sobs, "to hear someone say those words to me in earnest. To hear you say those words -- 'I love you'. I was supposed to be happy."

"You're not happy that I said them? I meant it. I mean it, with all my heart."

"Do I look happy?!" she blurted out as she burst out in tears again while wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry." I said. I kissed her, got up, walked out and closed the door behind me. I was nearly in tears myself. I rummaged through the fridge. Grabbed a piece of cold pizza and headed downstairs to pack.

No one offered to help. I was a pariah already.

The only two people that had a car in the house were Christa and Eve. Neither were around when I finished packing. I had to get all my stuff over to Ron's, if Ron would take me in. Thankfully that was only a couple of blocks away. I zipped down to the dollar store, through big snowflakes just settling on the thin ice. I picked up some thin rope and duct tape together with a ten-pack of garbage bags.

All of my stuff was bundled onto a make-shift sled made up of the old pissed-on, four-by-eight sheet of plywood leaning against the side of the house. There was no one to say bye to as I trundled off out the door in the very late afternoon. By the time I got out, there was an inch of fresh slippery wet snow on top a thin sheet of ice. Good traction for the sled. Very bad traction for the feet, though. My clothes, computer, books, bed linen, towels, shampoo...everything, even a left over enema kit was on that makeshift sled, roped down, taped down, encased in garbage bags. Although I had my best boots on, it was brutal going and it was slightly uphill all the way.

I worked out my immediate reality in a very few seconds. Cohesion of friction, mass, force, angle of incline, gravity...very basic physics...all working against me. I knew I could do it. I had to. But it wasn't going to be damn easy. Or fast.

About half way, just before St.Angel's, as it was just getting dark I came across the little gang of ten year old dirt balls playing in the snow. They were on the other side of the street and quickly assessed the situation. I was dragging the laden plywood sled while slipping with every other foothold.

Snowballs came flying at me with the vigor and enthusiasm only a possessed gang of demon ten year olds could have. They were in their element. I was in their target zone - inside twenty feet. The snowballs were wet. They had amazing aim, nailing me in the head and neck numerous times. They were howling with laughter the whole time. The heavy sled got caught up on the curb, I gave it a hard pull between the onslaught barrage of wet missiles...the rope broke at one end. I went flying face first into a hard thorny bush of some sort and cut my forehead and face in a couple of places.

"Fuuuuuck!!!" I screamed. I bounced up and ran after the little bastards. They scattered like birds. I realized that I must have looked like Mel Gibson in Braveheart, blue paint replaced with red blood streaming down my face, snowflakes swirling around me. I was pissed, hurting too. I hope I didn't threaten to kill the little imps at the top of my lungs. I was in enough shit already.

I and the plywood sled that I was dragging only made it another ten steps, before I slipped and fell again landing hard, right in front of St. Angel's door. I was in desperation, in a blizzard. I couldn't make to Ron's even if he was home. There was a light on in St. Angel's. Was there was room at that inn? I rang the doorbell and collapsed again.

I was on my knees looking up as Annie Bonneau opened the door. I was dejected, forsaken. The blood that ran down my faced was starting to dry, my hair was matted. I was covered with a layer of fresh snow. I knew that I had been crying to myself and that must have been reflected in my face.

"Jesus Christ," Annie said gawking at me in disbelief, "what happened to you?"

"Whatever it is, I did it to myself," I replied with my eyes drooped downward.

"Joey get inside."

She held the door open as I flipped my sleigh onto its side and stuffed it through the door, stumbling into the hallway. Just then the wind came squalling through the door.

Annie closed the front door then picked me up off the floor and led me to a couch in a little side room. "I don't know what happened to you, nor do I care. You can stay here until you get yourself sorted out. That's what a mission is for."

"Annie, thank you."

"Joey, lemme get you something to drink and let's get you cleaned up." She wandered off.

I couldn't believe my good fortune. I also couldn't believe how warm it was in that room.

"I have some wine, do you want it?" Annie shouted from the kitchen down the hall.

"Sure."

She returned with a huge glass of red wine which I started to gulp back but then nearly threw up. "What the hell Annie, is this vinegar? How old is this?"

"Sorry, that's all I have," she replied.

"No, I'm sorry Annie. This is fine."

She held me in her arms and brushed my face with a warm washcloth and said "Cold is your touch, freezing."

"Annie, thank you for making me welcome."

She crossed her index and middle finger together in her right hand and held it up in the air while hugging me with her left saying "Here we are, voyagers into life. We've not been given command to watch over our miserable sphere, or get called on to bring sun or rain. After all - who can the weather command? All we can do is offer services for the saving of face."

As she walked away I could hear her saying to God knows who, "Flee thee icy Lucifer! Oh you're an awful fellow!" She brought me a feather pillow.

Very strange woman. Very compassionate though.

I curled up on her couch and said in quiet desperation, "Thanks Annie, I just need to rest." I closed my eyes.

Rest? I needed a little peace to die. I'd have been grateful, just to be dead already.

What a fucking day. It was as if I stepped onto an out-of-control train this morning that I couldn't get off. Another day like this and I'd be cold beneath the ground. I realized that everything led up to this day, even though it was just like any other day that's ever been. The sun rose up with me chasing Christa's ass through the park and it fell with me dragging my broken, sorry ass to St. Angel's.

What have I done?.....

St.Angel's was a mission, not a rooming house. I knew that Annie would give me a few days grace, but that would be it.

I called officer Bitch the next day as instructed to verify my departure from the girl's house.

I was late getting to the kiddie karate class the next morning but I had the time to explain to Sensei Yoshi in a somewhat watered down version, what had happened to me. I fully expected that when I told him that I was charged with public indecency that he would respectfully ask me to not visit his dojo again. Instead he broke out laughing, "A cop caught you fucking in the park? I hope she was worth it!" He said that he wished he could pay me, but as I knew full well, the dojo isn't a huge money generating business. I could earn more money flipping burgers at McDonalds.

Eve never called. None of the girls did. I spent the afternoon printing up and dropping off resumes to any and every business that was nearby and reading ads for rooms to rent. I knew that without first and last month's rent in hand I wasn't going to get a room. I had a bit of money left, just enough to cover my food and telephone until the end of the year. I'd already packed my VISA card paying for enema kits and a stack of towels. I could just dig a deeper hole for myself, but I knew that wasn't wise. Generally, I just felt sorry for myself.

It was no one's fault except my own. Certainly not Christa's. I felt bad for Christa because she was probably blaming herself. Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she was happy that I was gone. Her father certainly was. Maybe they're all happy I'm gone.

I thought about Eve. Why didn't she call me? Then, why didn't I call her?

I called. She didn't pick up her cell phone.

After drinking myself into oblivion with Ron and Donny's help I stumbled back to St. Angel's and cried myself to sleep.

I woke up Sunday morning to my cell phone ringing.

It was Eve, "Come to Church with me...please."

I was delighted she phoned, but my head was pounding.

"Can't we just go to Denny's for breakfast or something?" I needed coffee, real bad.

"No, Church. I insist." I could sense a tremble in her voice. 'I insist' was not something that Eve would normally say...something was amiss. I could sense it even through my hangover. I suspected that I was suddenly thrust upon a make-it or break-it moment with Eve. Not good. I didn't need that, not at that hour, not with my head in that shape.

But there was no way I was going to lose her. I was already lost.

"Okay," I stammered.

"Great, I'll pick you up in half an hour. Where are you?"

"At St. Angel's."

"Where's that?"

"Do you remember where the little kids tied us up?"

"Yeah."

"That's St. Angel's."

I dragged my sorry ass off to the bathroom. All my stuff was in disarray. I'd managed to get myself somewhat presentable when Eve strode up to the front door.

Annie had just gotten up. "Where ya going Joey?" she asked scratching her armpit while getting the tea pot out.

"To Church."

She just gazed at me as Eve knocked on the door.

"Joey...are you okay?"

"I'm a long way from okay Annie," I answered grabbing my coat, heading towards the door.

I opened the door and Eve was standing there. She grabbed me as I grabbed her and as we wrapped our arms around each other our lips embraced for a long, hard kiss. "I love you," she said. "I love you too", I answered. I squeezed her tight. I missed her. I needed her.

As I closed the door I saw Annie smiling at us.

We walked hand in hand to Eve's white Honda. The sudden clasp of cold air made me realize how my head hurt and how stupid I was to have drank so much last night. My head was hurting on the inside and on the outside. I was in rough shape.