A Passover Haunting

"Hans turned and made his way to the train station. He had no idea where his friend had been taken, but he was going to find out all too soon.

"He kept hearing about something called the "Final Solution," and was shocked that it involved the extermination of the Jews, but had no time to worry about it as he fought hard and rose to the rank of Oberstleutnant.

"He had learned enough to try to avoid his transfer to Buchenwald, but there was nothing he could do . . ."

Judith couldn't restrain herself.

"He worked in the death camps? He was a monster!"

A cold chill ran through Nathan as he patted Judith's hands to calm her down.

"The conditions were even worse than he expected," he continued, "and his few tentative efforts to improve the treatment of the prisoners were met with such disdain that he quickly abandoned them.

"While not a death camp as such, many prisoners were worked to death, executed if they wouldn't work, or died from disease or starvation. He was shocked at what he saw.

"He was a "good" German, and believed in the basic goodness of the German people, but that belief was sorely shaken, if not totally destroyed by the horrors he witnessed.

"There were vicious beatings, daily, for little or even no reason. Some of the guards took to shooting random prisoners just for "sport."

"Disease was rampant, medical care non-existent.

"Hans was stunned to see his old friend shuffling along, and when their eyes met he looked pleadingly to Hans, but Hans couldn't bear to look and turned away, guiltily.

"His guilt ate away at his fear until, despite the danger, Hans did what he could for his old friend. He tried to get him assigned to the easier work details, though that was pretty much an oxymoron, and slipped him some extra food and clothing whenever he could.

"Despite his meager efforts. Hans watched his friend wither away until the dreadful day when he approached the barracks and found that his friend had been taken away by the guards, and he never saw him again.

"In early April 1945, word came down that the Allies were advancing and to evacuate the camp.

"Hans was no fool, and had a good idea of what might happen if he were captured, and came up with a devious plan. He looked up his friend's records, and scratched the number into his forearm, rubbing some ink into it, hoping it would look enough like a tattoo to fool people.

"He scrounged up a dirty prisoner uniform and put it on, burning his own uniform and identification.

"Taking advantage of the confusion surrounding the evacuation, he snuck out of the camp and made his way West, towards the advancing American troops. Barely escaping getting shot, he was taken in by the troops and gave them his friend's name. He attributed his relatively good condition to working in the camp kitchen and stealing extra food.

"He eventually made his way to the US, and used his knowledge of Judaism gleaned from his friendship with Nathan to blend into the Jewish community, though he was careful not to get too close, lest his deception be revealed."

"Wait, Grandpa Nathan," Judith said. "You said his friendship with Nathan. Are you saying that Hans was your friend?"

Nathan looked over at the spirit, then looked down at his hands, and heaved a great sigh, then looked up with tear-filled eyes, and breathed a silent prayer that Judith would forgive him.

"No. I'm saying that Nathan was my friend. I am Hans, and have been living a lie for the past 54 years."

Judith was stunned. This couldn't be true. Her great-grandfather, the observant Jew who almost disowned Rachel for marrying a non-Jew until his late wife Sophie stepped in, a Nazi? One who served in a concentration camp? It was beyond comprehension.

A chill spread through the house again and the lights flickered briefly before going out again..

The spirit moved from behind Judith to float between Judith and her great grandfather.

"I have come to claim the life you have stolen from me, lo these 54 years ago," said the Spirit, looking deep into Nathan's eyes.

Despite his fear, Hans felt a great sense of relief, as if a great weight was lifted from his shoulders.

"I am ready, Nathan," he said.

"Ready for what, Grandpa Nathan?" Judith asked.

"It is time for me to go, Judela," he said using the affectionate diminutive, feeling weary to his very bones. "I don't belong here; I can only hope that God can forgive me for what I have done."

Judith felt torn apart. This was her dear great grandfather, the man whom she had loved her whole life. Without him, her whole family wouldn't even exist, yet he was a Nazi.

She had no more time to think as she saw the spirit moving toward her great-grandfather.

His face twisted in silent agony as the spirit took possession of Hans' body, ripping his soul from his body before casting it aside forever. Did he really think that it would be easy? It felt like he was burning in the very fires if Hell. Was that prophetic, was that where he was fated?

Suddenly, there was his beloved Sophie of blessed memory.

"Sophie? H . . . How . . . why are you here?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm here to take you home, Hans."

"You called me Hans. How did you know?"

Sophie's spirit gave Hans a loving smile.

"I've known ever since I left this life. I've watched you both in life and beyond. I know you feel guilty, and well you should, you were a part of one of the most evil things this world has ever seen. But you have also done much good. Just look at this wonderful family that you have helped raise."

Hans looked with pride at his family as a feeling of peace washed over him.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me," he said, as he took Sophie's hand and drifted away.

Nathan gave him a look of, not quite forgiveness, but understanding, just before he left.

"Grandpa Nathan, what just happened?" Judith asked.

"We will talk later, for now we must get back to the others."

As they returned to their seats, the lights flickered again and regained their normal brightness.

The young children came running in with the Afikomen and collected their reward, and it seemed as if nobody else realized that anything out of the ordinary had happened.

Nathan gazed out at them through unfamiliar eyes. He had been watching this family for years, hoping that one day it would be his, and felt that he knew them, but did he really? How can you really know someone without looking them in the eyes, listening as they pour their hearts out to you?

While the rest of the family was distracted, Judith turned to Nathan.

"Grandpa Nathan, what in the world is going on? I know what you said, and I know what I THOUGHT I saw, but it's all so unbelievable."

"Not now, Judith," he said. "Come to my room tonight after the others have gone to bed, and I will explain as best as I can."

Judith was disappointed, but seeing that there was nothing to be gained by further argument, returned to the rest of the gathering.

Judith had nodded off, and almost jumped out of bed, afraid that she missed her chance to talk to Grandpa Nathan. Glancing at the bedside clock she saw that it was almost midnight; she hoped that wasn't a bad omen.

She pulled her robe tight and approached Nathan's door with great trepidation. She almost jumped out of her skin when Nathan responded instantly to her tentative knock.

"Come in, Judela, please," he said, and she went in closing the door quietly behind her.

Nathan was sitting on the edge of his bed, and patted the bed next to him, and Judith sat down.

"Grandpa Nathan, what just happened? You weren't really a Nazi, were you?"

Nathan sighed. He had so hoped that Hans' story had sunk in, but he would obviously have to try to explain it better, though it was so unbelievable that even he had trouble believing that it could be true.

"Judith, I am Nathan Weinstein, but I am not your grandfather. Your grandfather is, or was, Hans Steiner, and he indeed was a Nazi. In fact, I died in Buchenwald, the camp where Hans was stationed."

"But, but, if you died, how can you be here, in Grandpa . . . in my great-grandfather's body?"

"I wish I had the answer to that question. All that I can tell you is that after I died I was drawn to Hans. It was a tenuous connection, it waxed and waned with no rhyme or reason.

"I was with him as he made his way to America, met Sophie and raised your wonderful family. I was torn between anger and a sort of vicarious pride."

"What do you mean, Grandpa Nathan?"

"I was angry because this should have been my life, had it not been for Hans and the Nazis, but I was also proud of the beautiful heritage that was being passed on in my name."

"One thing I don't understand," Judith said, "For a person so dedicated to appearing to be Jewish, to raising a Jewish family, even nearly disowning Rachel, yet he never joined a temple."

"Oh, that is actually quite easy to answer. He was afraid that he might run across other camp survivors, either ones that knew me personally, or that knew that I died in the camps."

"But, why now, Grandpa Nathan?"

"I'm not sure, but I have a couple of ideas. This is 54 years since the liberation of Buchenwald, triple chai. Do you know what that means?"

"I . . . I think so. I remember on my Bat Mitzvah I received many gifts of thirty-six dollars. Mother called it "double chai," but I never had a chance to ask her what it meant."

"Chai is the Hebrew word for life," Nathan explained," and the numeric value of the Hebrew letters in chai is eighteen. So, many monetary gifts are given in multiples of eighteen."

"You said you had a couple of ideas. What was the other one?"

"That one is a little harder to explain. When you entered the house, I felt a surge of energy, I felt stronger. I was able to penetrate Hans' dreams deeper, and eventually force my takeover."

"Yes, I felt it, also; I thought it might have something to do with my Kabbalah classes. Oh, before I forget. I met a young man. His last name is Wise, but it was Weismann, in Germany. His grandfather Simon survived the camps, but his great grandfather Nathan died there. Was that you, Grandpa Nathan?"

Now it was Nathan's turn to look shocked.

"Simon . . . Simon lives? We became separated when I was sent to Buchenwald, and I never learned his fate."

"I don't know if his grandfather is still alive. I will ask him when I get home. Grandpa Nathan, I . . . I really like Jakob. Does this mean that we're related, that I can't be with him?"

"No, Judela," Nathan said with a smile. "You are of Hans' blood, not mine. We must be careful, though, and maintain the fiction of the names being a coincidence. It will pain me not to be able to reveal myself to Simon, but your future happiness is more important. I will have to content myself with having him as part of our extended family, if you and Jakob remain together."

"There's something else, Grandpa Nathan," Judith said. "Since I met Jakob, I've been having strange dreams. I feel a . . . a "presence," that is both troubling but also exciting."

She blushed.

"Sometimes they are even sexual."

Now it was Nathan's turn to blush.

"Yes, yes," he said, "I felt it as you entered the house. I was immediately strengthened, and when you had your . . . your . . ."

"I understand, Grandpa Nathan," Judith said, smiling.

Nathan breathed a sigh of relief.

"I almost broke through Hans' defenses then, but then your mother woke him up, breaking the spell."

"So why were you able to break through after the Seder?"

"I honestly don't know. Maybe it was just that the time was right. Maybe Hans was simply ready to let go. He had been a good man before the war, and despite the good life he led later, maybe his guilt wouldn't allow him to hang on any longer.

"I grow weary, Judela, let us sleep, maybe we can speak more at another time."

Judith would have preferred to continue, but acceded to Nathan's request.

Settling under the covers, she reached for her Kabbalah book, but realized that she, too, was weary. She put her book aside, blew out her candle, and was soon fast asleep.

Almost as soon as she was asleep her dream lover appeared, and yes, that's how she thought of him.

Although he was still indistinct, she thought that he seemed like a younger version of Jakob, but when he began caressing her body he displayed a skill far beyond his apparent years.

Where her previous experiences with her dream lover were gentle, with feathery touches as light as a breeze, this time he was more forceful, while no less gentle or loving.

His teeth nibbled and chewed on her erect nipples setting off a series of orgasms, followed by a deep penetration of her that felt more real than any lover she had ever experienced.

As her orgasm crashed like a tidal wave on the shore, she sat bolt upright, wide awake. She looked between her legs to see a wet spot like none that she had ever seen. She resisted the temptation to examine it closer, jumped out of bed and quickly stripped the sheets off the bed.

She showered quickly and went down to breakfast, hoping for some more time with Nathan, but it wasn't to be. The whole family was already awake and bustling about, and her mother reminded her that they would have to be leaving for home soon.

Judith kept trying to get Nathan alone, but the best that she could do was make some eye contact where he would just nod and give her a knowing smile.

All too soon it was time to leave, and amid a circus of hugs Nathan pulled her close.

"Go, Judela," he whispered in her ear, "Go to your young man, he's waiting for you."

Judith stiffened, then blushed. Grandpa Nathan couldn't possibly know about her dream, could he?

Her parents soon hustled her into the car, and they were on their back home, but what else awaited Judith?

All the way home her head was spinning. Could her dream lover have anything to do with Jakob? He did look like him, though much younger. She and Jakob had never even been on a real date, let alone been lovers, though she did feel strangely drawn to him.

Judith found it strange that her dream lover made no appearance once she got home, but shrugged it off, and went about her business, until it came time to go to her Kabbalah class. She felt some trepidation as she entered the classroom.

She felt a sense of relief seeing Jakob waving her over to sit next to him. A familiar chill ran over her body, and she hoped that her erect nipples weren't too obvious as she sat down. She returned Jakob's smile with a warm one of her own, and tried with mixed success to follow the discussion.

Over coffee after class Jakob screwed up his courage and asked Judith out on a real date, and she hoped that she didn't seem over-eager when she accepted.

It was just your typical first date, but they felt comfortable, as if they belonged together, holding hands as they walked and leaning together during the movie.

When Jakob brought her home, she had to stop herself from dragging him up to her room, despite the fact that her parents were home and likely awake. She was actually more afraid of scaring him off than what her parents might say.

She did hit him with a toe-curling kiss, and felt the now familiar tingle across her nipples.

Despite her best intentions, it didn't take her long to get Jakob into bed. Judith didn't think that anything could top the sexual high that she got from her dream lover, but making love with Jakob was simply on another level.

As she reached her climax, she looked through her orgasmic haze and once again thought that she saw the face of her dream lover, swirling together with Jakob's face. She was dazzled by the similarity, though the dream lover was obviously younger than Jakob.

When they came together, the ghostly image vanished, and Jakob collapsed beside her.

Gathering her courage, she turned towards Jakob.

"Jakob," she said nervously, "if I tell you something weird, will you promise not to run away screaming?"

"Well," he said laughing, "that's awfully open-ended, but I think that I can agree to that."

Judith had been so sure that she was ready for this; now, she wasn't so sure, but there was no turning back.

"Since I met you, I've been having some strange dreams, sexual dreams."

Jakob waggled his eyebrows.

"Stop it!" she said, "I'm trying to be serious here."

"I'm sorry. I'll be good, go on."

"These weren't like ordinary dreams, they felt real. When I was at my great-grandfather's home, they became even more intense. I could feel its . . . his touch. I could almost make out his face. It was almost like looking at your face, except it was younger . . ."

Jakob was shocked.

"Jakob, what is it? You're white as a sheet."

"You remember I said I came to the Kabbalah class because of some strange dreams I was having?"

Judith nodded.

"I never told you the whole story."

Judith was puzzled.

"I have . . . had a twin. His name was Michael. The day after our double Bar Mitzvah, he was killed crossing the street."

"Oh, Jakob, I'm so sorry. That must have been so traumatic for you."

"Wait, Judith, that's not all. Ever since his death, he has come to me in dreams. Not every night, but often.

"Shortly after coming to the class, the dreams became more intense. I could feel myself being pulled along. Soon I could sense a female presence, and Michael's spirit was, well it was making love to her. I could feel their connection, I felt myself come when they did. When I woke up, I saw that I had come in my sleep."

Now it was Judith's turn to turn white.

"You . . . You don't think that Michael was trying to bring us together, do you?" she asked.

"I really don't know. I'm not superstitious, but I can't think of any other explanation. Why now? We had both been having these dreams before, why bring us together now?"

"I don't know if there is a reason for it happening now, but I think I know why it was able to happen now."

Jakob looked puzzled.

"When I got to Grandpa Nathan's house, I felt a surge of energy. It turned out that there was another spirit there, and that spirit and Michael's fed on each other.

"That was when I had my most intense experience with the spirit. I wouldn't be surprised that if we compared notes that it might coincide with your . . . experience."

Jakob blushed.

"So you think that Michel was trying to bring us together?" Jakob asked.

"Do you have a better explanation?"

Jakob had to admit that he was stumped.

"What about this other spirit?" he asked.

Judith told him the story of Hans and Nathan.

Jakob's shoulders slumped.

"Then it's true," he said. "We're related. We can never be together," as he turned to get up.

Judith grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back.

"No, you don't understand. Nathan Weismann is your great grandfather. MY great grandfather is Hans Steiner. We are of different blood."

Jakob brightened at that, and moved back on top of Judith.

"Then maybe we should get back to work blending that blood together!"

Judith smiled as they did just that.

EPILOG

After they graduated from college Judith and Jakob got married, and named their first son Michael Nathan.

Together with Nathan they decided to keep Hans' secret. It wasn't as if anyone would believe them anyway, and they just chalked up the similarity in the family history to coincidence.

At the wedding, Simon Wise, Jakob's grandfather stood next to Nathan.

"I still can't get over the similarities in our family histories, Mr. Weismann," he said.

"Please, please, we're all one family now, call me Nathan."

"Okay, Nathan it is."

They shook hands as Nathan wiped away a tear.