A Polyamorous Journey of Discovery

Bob Andrews stood on his front porch glaring down at Cathy Sanders as Cathy jammed a cigarette in her mouth and lit it. She took a long drag then glared up at Bob flicking away the ash.

"I told you Cathy he doesn't want to talk to you," Said Bob in a calm and even voice. "I also told you that June and I don't take sides and now it's a good idea for you to leave." Cathy flipped her hair and took another drag on her cigarette while glaring at Bob.

"You seem to be taking sides by letting that fucking bastard stay here" Snarled Cathy. "Do you know what that bastard did to me!" Bob took a deep breath desperate to keep his temper under control but if Cathy stayed much longer he knew he'd lose the battle.

John Sanders was Bob's oldest and closest friend having known each other since public school, high school and university. They'd been through a lot of shit together over the years and had always been close. Unlike a lot of people marriage hadn't drift them apart and they'd tried hard to keep it that way. Bob's wife June had taken to John when she first met him but Cathy, John's wife, had always been the stand offish one of the four of them. Cathy hadn't tried to overtly come between them. But at times subtle and not so subtle she'd hinted that John should dump his old friends for something "better."

It had come as a rather pleasant surprised when one day John had shown up on Bob and June's front door asking if he could use their shower. Then a couple of days later he'd shown up again. This time for a shower and a meal. The third time it finally came out, the story of what had happened to him along with the reason Cathy was standing on their front lawn.

John had been living in his car for the past six weeks after Cathy had called the police on some trumped up charge when she'd thrown him out. The police had quietly listened while John sat in the back of a police cruiser before deciding he hadn't done anything wrong. Even though Cathy had made all the trendy allegations about domestic violence and abuse. Before the police arrived she'd even tried to get John to hit her so she could stand in front of the police with a black eye and crow her story.

Fortunately one of the responding officers had been an older female officer who'd seen just a little too much of life and was smarter than the average bear. Not to mention she'd heard and seen it all before. Cathy had not done herself any favours by also going on just a little too long and just a little to forcefully with her story. She was shocked and had raised holy hell when the officers had let John collect his things warning him not to come back to the house or he would be arrested. The older officer had quietly told him to get a lawyer and to stay away her his now ex-wife because she was clearly nuts.

Cathy had also been planning this for a long time and had taken every penny out of their joint accounts along with canceling their joint credit cards. Hence leaving John to scramble with no money and no resources other than the back of his car. Fortunately he still had the presence of mind to changes his pay role deposits at work and to open a new bank account. But the financial and emotional damage was done. Now Cathy was sending a junk yard dog of a lawyer after John to take everything else.

Bob closed his eyes and counted to ten while letting his breathing slow as he taped his cell phone against his leg. God he hated women like Cathy always trying to be in charge, always trying to be the highest monkey screeching the loudest in the tree, always trying to get their way reguardless of the cost. He opened his eyes and glared at her keeping his voice as even as he could.

"Cathy, I don't care what you calm John did to you it's not my business. You can leave whatever paper work you have for him with me and I'll see that he gets it. Now get off the property and don't come back."

Cathy took another drag on her cigaret. Then flicked it into the garden and lit another. Fucking asshole, she thought. She wasn't going to let Bob stop her from hounding John into signing the financial papers she wanted him to sign. She was damn well going to destroy her ex-husband and if taking down Bob and his bitch wife June was the price so be it. She put her foot on the front step as John raised his cell phone. "I have the police on speed dial I will call them. Now get lost!" Cathy threw her cigarette into the garden.

"You haven't got the guts! Fucking bastard." Cathy glared back at Bob as she taped her toe on the bottom step. Bob smiled as his vision focused around Cathy as he decided which side he was going to come down on. Then he quietly said.

"Try me bitch."

Bob watched Cathy pull out of his driveway almost hitting the two parked cars across the street. He told the 911 operator that the trespasser had just left and no he didn't need a police officer at the house but that he would like to make a report. Yes the trespasser was known to him and he could provide details. Yes a phone call from the local police division would be fine. Then he walked back into the house letting his anger drain from him.

John Sanders sat on the couch with his face in his hands. Tears leaked around his fingers as June Andrews held him while trying to tell him that it would be ok.

"It's ok John she's gone." Said Bob as he looked at his best friend and his wife June. He went to the kitchen and came back with three beers then sat down in his chair across from the couch. "Don't plan on getting drunk that's the last thing you need right now." John picked up the beer nodded thanks and took a sip.

"Thanks. I just didn't know what to do, I had nowhere to go." John took another sip as June rubbed his back.

"How long have you been living in your car?" Asked June. John sobbed and rubbed his eyes.

"Six, seven weeks. It kind all drifts together."

"Christ John you should have come here sooner." Said June. She looked at Bob who nodded.

"I. . .I. . .couldn't I. . ." John broke down crying. June and Bob looked at one another silently agreeing with a slight shrug and nod that John could stay in the back guest bed room.

"You can stay here." Said June. "The back bed room is large and private. I'm thinking that might be the best for a while till you get your head strengthened out." She looked at Bob who nodded his head and took another sip of his beer.

That was a little over a year ago and while things on the Cathy front hadn't settle down. They had settle down to tolerable level with the help of a lawyer and some counseling for John.

Bob, June, and John sat around the dining room table trying to drink their after dinner coffee while making small talk. Bob and June's son Peter was out playing with friends in the back yard, the faint babble of kids voices infiltrated through the open kitchen window.

John looked up and smiled at Bob and June as he took a sip of his coffee. He'd enjoyed the last year it had been good having a safe comfortable place to crash while his ex dragged him through the Family Courts. Cathy and her lawyer had done their best to kick the crap out of John and for the most part had been successful. Bob and June had acted as a shield and had let him vent when he needed to as his lawyer fought the war that finally ended in divorce. It wasn't a great settlement but it was a liveable liveable settlement that John could live with. Thank God Cathy and John had no children.

Mostly Bob and June kept John on an even keel while Cathy had tried to ruin him. June had also acted as a sounding board and at times held him while his world crashed around him then supported him as he rebuild it. Bob had also sat with him on many nights while they'd gotten pleasantly drunk talking over old times at university, fishing, hunting, dates, life in general and what not. Mostly Bob and June had just been there and kept things as normal as they could while the world sorted it's self out.

It was during that time that John started to notice small issues cropping up not to mention his own feelings as the time had progressed. It had started at a New Year's Eve party that one of the neighbor's had thrown. Normally John wouldn't have gone since he didn't feeling like socializing much but Bob and June had talked him into it and it had turned out to be not a bad party. It had been nice to socialize with other people and begin to feel like part of a community again.

When midnight past and everyone was getting ready to leave having just brought in the New Year and feeling no pain. John had unknowingly found himself standing under some mistletoe when June walked up behind him. She had slipped her left arm around him as she'd moved around to face him. She told him he hadn't given her a New Years Eve kiss as she'd pointed to the mistletoe with her smiling face. She was shorter than John and had to raise her arms to slip around his neck so she could pull him down to her mouth. Reluctantly he let himself be pulled though his first instinct was to run. Slowly he'd relaxed as his lips had gradually come in contact with June's.

"Time for a New Year's kiss." Whispered June. It was supposed to be a friendly kiss, a quick peck nothing grand or special, but it had lingered. Her tongue had gently touched his lips then quickly darted back. Tentatively he'd responded by crushing her body against his then he'd kissed her again. The tips of their tongues gently touching and embracing followed by a low moan from June, then parting.

What seemed like a life time had only been a few seconds as they'd nervously made parting comments like; "oh my", "sorry, my fault," "I could use a drink." They both turned and saw Bob standing in the living room holding a beer but rather than the expected shocked look on his face. He'd smiled and toasted the two of them.

After that things seemed to move to a different level between the three of them. Nothing really overt that any outsider would have noticed. Just three friendly people who happened to be living together. June had taken to making comments like; "how are my men doing today?" or "what would my men like for dinner?" Even Peter, Bob and June's son, had taken to calling John uncle John and John had started helping Peter with his homework or taking him to school. Not to mention getting involved in going to Peter's soccer games. He'd even acted as coach a couple of times when the regular soccer had been sick.

It was other more subtle things since New Years that an outsider might not have noticed that went on between the three of them. A hand lingering a little too long, a knowing smile with nothing said, the way the three of them would stand in the kitchen teasing each other or wrapping their arms around each other in a communal hug. But there had never been a repeat of that New Year's Eve kiss nor anything more forward. Only there was something that was left unsaid.

John cleared his throat and set his coffee cup down. "Guys." He cleared his throat again. "I really owe you big time for letting me stay here it's been great." He drummed his fingers on his coffee cup. "But I've been thinking I should get my own place, you know move out. Not far but I think it's time I got back on my feet."

June's cup hung in midair, Bob's eyes flashed from June to John then up to the ceiling.

"Ah, yeah, ok, if you think that's a good idea." Said June as she look at John while holding her coffee cup in a death grip. "Why. . .why do you have to leave now?" Sputtered June as she pulled her eyes from her coffee to John's face.

"I just feel it's time and well you know. You guys need your space and what have you, I just think it's time." John couldn't meet Bob or June's eyes as he hid himself behind his coffee cup trying not to say anything further. If anyone had been able to read his mind they'd have been surprised by the flashing signals his brain was sending him telling him to run.

"This is kind of sudden but if you think it's time well I guess." Said Bob as his voice trailed off and he looked a June. "But why now?" Suddenly Peter crashed into the house with two of his friends in tow heading for the basement.

"Going to play video games." Peter called out as the trio disappeared into the basement den.

Bob poured another round of coffee and sat back in his chair glad of the interruption so they could all organize their thoughts. Not much was said as they delved into their own worlds while trying not to look at each other. It was June who finally broke the nervous silence when she looked up, cleared her throat and whispered.

"I don't want you to leave." Bob and John looked at June as the 400 pound gorilla in the room slowly opened it's eyes.

Since New Years June had been fighting her own battle about her two men. Each time asking herself more confusing questions. Questions about her marriage, her life, her feeling for both her husband and now John. Each time she'd come back with a positive answer, she loved her marriage, her family, she loved her husband and would die for him. Now it seemed she'd developed strong feelings for John and would die for him as well. Hell she'd held him when he was rolled up in ball crying his guts out.

The two men watched as June got up taking her empty coffee up to the kitchen sink. Slamming things a little too hard in that way that women tell you, nothing is wrong but something is very wrong.

John looked at Bob as he pushed his own coffee cup across the table. Christ this was hard but he knew if he didn't leave something would burst and ruin a great friendship. This family was his best friends who'd frankly saved his life when he was crushed to nothing. They supported him and helped him rebuild himself. They didn't deserve the emotional pull and push, plus he wasn't going to be the reason their lives got ruined. John looked at Bob then June then back to Bob. May as well get this over with and take it as it comes he said to himself. Bob will kill me and will most likely never want me around again. But such is the hand of fate. John's voice quivered as he looked at Bob.

"I'm in love with your wife and I think she's in love with me. I swear to God we haven't done anything and I'm not going to destroy our friendship. If you want to beat the crap out of me I more than understand. And that's why I have to leave."

Bob and June watched as John walked out of the kitchen and out the front door. Bob put his arms around June as she stared into the kitchen sink, trying to get up the motivation to do the dishes. She turned to Bob and buried her head in his shoulder tears running down her face.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. Bob pulled her tight against him and kissed the top of her head.

"It's ok." He whispered back.

"No it's not! I love you! You're my husband, I'm not some slut looking to have an affair or run off with your best friend. I love you and want to stay with you. It's just, I don't know. It's so damn confusing!" Bob smiled at her and kissed her lips.

"He loves you." Said Bob. June looked at him tears running down her face. "I've suspected for a while."

"How. . .how do you. . ." Bob put his finger against her lips.

"He tried to tell me a couple of weeks ago but at the time I didn't get it. Mostly it's the way he's been around the two of us. You'd have to look very carefully to see it but it's there. It's also been eating him up inside and he doesn't want to destroy our friendship." Bob look out the window as he had one of those light bulb moments hit him. "You know those little things that have been going over our heads? It just hit me but I also think you love him more than you'd care to admit. That's why he's moving out he doesn't want to come between you and me. I think in a way he loves both of us and well he's finding it hard to deal with. To be honest when he leaves I'll miss him. It's just, I don't know it's kind of weird the idea of loving two people and wanting them both. It's just very different and I don't know that I understand the dynamic." June stepped back resting her hands on Bob's chest.

"I don't know what to think." Said June as Bob smiled her.

"Don't look at me! I don't have any easy answers." Replied Bob. "This is all very new to me."

"Did you know before now he felt about me and how I felt about him?" Asked June.

"I had an inkling but mostly just a gut feeling. I was trying to figure out how I felt about things and what I was going to do or not do. Besides John's my best friend and I've known him for years."

"You didn't say anything? Said June which sounded more like an accusation. Bob nodded his head.

"Yeah I felt it was for the best. John's a great guy and well I didn't want to cause any embarrassment if I was wrong. Besides I love you, and well, all that mushy stuff that goes with it."

"How long have you suspected all this?" June leaned back against the kitchen counter.

"I started suspecting it at New Year's when I saw the two of you kiss." Bob smiled. "Don't ask me why but at the time it just seemed, well, normal. And yeah I was jealous but it was ok. Since then I've done some reading and a bit of research trying to figure out my own feelings and to understand the situation."

"Do you love him?" Asked June. "Please tell me you aren't gay" June pushed away from Bob as he laughed.

"Well, hmmm, let me think." He pulled her close and kissed her his tongue trying to find its way into her closed mouth. Finally he pulled his head back in exasperation. "No I'm not gay." Now the 400 pound gorilla stood up and took a step into the room.

Bob had always kept one thing about himself hidden from the world. Having grown up in a somewhat conservative family he'd learned early in life that some subjects weren't talked about. Now he was about to reveal something to June that he'd long hidden from the world. But since a large number of cards where in play now felt like as good at time as any. Hopefully June would understand.

"I've known for years that I'm bisexual." Bob held his breath watching for June's reaction. " Something I "experimented" with in high school and university." He felt the lump forming in his throat. "With John. Don't look so shocked. And yes in my own way I do love him but I love you and I want you to be happy." June looked into Bob's face, her eyes wide, then she rested her head on Bob's chest.

June's brain rocked with Bob's admission about being bisexual and his acceptance of her's and John's feeling for each other. Now it seemed Bob was having the same conflict that June was having.

"Fuck this is way too much information. Way, way too much fucking information." Muttered June. As her thoughts and feeling crashed together in her head. She pulled away from Bob and walked out of the kitchen. "I'm going to do the laundry I need to think." Bob reached out for her. "Not now, just leave me alone."

For the next two weeks Bob, June, and John moved around each other with a tense wall between the three of them. They didn't ignore each other or treat each other any differently but there was a wall that the three of them where reluctant to cross. Not to mention the 400 pound gorilla was firmly living with them while smoking cigars on the living room couch.

John had also started staying out later claiming work or seeing old friends. He'd return to the house when it was close to bed time as well as leaving for work before anyone got up. June had started looking for him or asking Bob if he'd seen him. Bob answered her questions in a quiet voice but in truth he'd seen John about as much as June had which wasn't much. Mostly they would hear John coming in late just after they'd gone to bed or hear him leaving before they'd gotten up in the morning for work.

At night Bob and June would talk about their day and how things were going but kept the topic of John and their feelings at arm's length. Still they admitted that they both missed him. Then slowly they'd started talking about their own feelings towards John as well as the new revelation about Bob's bisexuality. John had also been honest about the "dates" John and he'd gone on when they where younger.