A Pretty Thing

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A submissive's first training session.
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I stood in front of him slightly afraid to look him in the eyes but wanting to so badly. I kept my head down. "You don't take your eyes off the floor unless instructed to" I heard Christine's ever teaching voice in my mind and I always obeyed Christine.

He walked around me and I could feel his eyes scanning every inch of my skin. Was he trying to find a flaw, a reason to send me on my way? Or was he enjoying this? Savoring my sight? One made me feel worried, self-conscious, but the other... the other made me feel like a goddess. After making two rounds he finally stopped behind me and took a step closer. Mere centimeters from my skin, from my neck, he leaned in and I could feel his breath on me.

"What am I to do with you? So inexperienced, I find it hard to believe that you are truly so willing to learn, to please." His words were ice in my veins.

"I don't like training, and I never take on students." More ice.

"We will see how long you last. Let's start with something very simple, do you remember the safe words?"

"Yes, sir."

"Say them."

"Yellow to slow down and Red to stop." I kept my head down and spoke as simply as possible.

"Very nice. Get on your knees." The ice melted immediately. He wasn't sending me away. I dropped to my knees as gracefully as I could, tucking my feet evenly underneath me and sitting back on my heels. I rested my hands lightly on my thighs the way I remember Christine teaching me. I kept my head down.

"You look so nice on the floor like this." He slowly walked in front of me taking a few steps back. Then he moved away stepping off to the side out of my view. I could hear the faintest sound of rustling. He was looking for something, what? My heart beat faster with the anticipation and excitement. He hasn't sent you away yet, don't fuck this up. Don't do anything...

"You have such a sweet name, a saint's name, but I won't use it yet. You haven't earned the privilege of hearing it. For now you are, more or less, a pet, something to be played with for my satisfaction. That can change if you want it to, if you prove you are worthy of it." His words ripped through my mind, the realization of what I have agreed to. But yes, I wanted this, I wanted to earn it.

"Now then pet," he was standing in front of me again and I could see his harness pushing against his jeans, "let's begin." I reached forward with steady fingers sliding my hands up the front of his thighs to the waist of his jeans. The button was already undone. With my left hand I lightly pulled at his zipper and...

"What do you think you are doing? Did I ask you to do this? Learn your place!" With one hand he grabbed both of mine while his other came down on the right side of my face. The surprise and shock tore a small shriek from me. Without thinking I looked up at him, confusion spread across my face. "You don't touch me unless I tell you. Discipline is a virtue and you will master it while with me. If you don't show control I will punish you swiftly. Now lean forward onto your forearms with your palms on the floor."

I did as instructed. The concrete felt cool and hard beneath me. I tried to keep my weight even on my hands, arms, and knees. I returned my gaze to the floor deciding it was best to keep my head down at all times. Had I messed up badly? Was he very angry with me? Oh god, would he be done with me? I didn't want to go back after such a short time, I'd be laughed at and a bad review could disgrace me completely. Maybe I could talk to him afterwards, like a ...

"You're assumption is assumed to be disobedience. That disobedience has earned you 10 lashings." He laid a perforated leather belt over my hands. It felt soft, like an expensive suede, which I knew meant that it had been used often. For some reason, it felt like a sick joke to have the strap laid on my hands. Then, without warning, his hand came crashing down on my backside followed by a quick massage. What was that I felt on me? It felt like oil but it couldn't be. Could he really be oiling me up?

"This little bit of body oil keeps the leather from cracking... and make you feel more." And he was right. When his hand hit me again I could feel the blood rushing to the sight, I could feel my skin getting pink. He hit me again, this time a little lower.

"These strokes don't count, simply a warm up to get the blood flowing. Ah, but already your skin is a lovely shade." I gasped as he hit me much harder and lower this time grazing my sex. "This is not for your enjoyment, that comes later."

He hit me a few more times, each stroke harder than the last before finally getting up and walking in front of me again. I focused on the little details of his boots to keep my mind from the tingle on my backside. They were black, matte, and worn like work boots. The laces perfectly even and tied. He reached down to pick up the leather belt and managed not to touch me while doing it. Was that deliberate?

"What did you do wrong? Answer me." He spoke to me like a principle disciplining a defiant student.

"I touched you."

"And... Say it."

" I touched you without permission."

"This is getting tiresome. Do I need to add 5 more lashings?" That wasn't a question.

"I touched you without permission, sir." There, I said it completely.

"Good. 10 lashings and you will count, out loud, each one." The belt came down on the back of my thighs just below my ass. The resounding crack left behind a sting that made me jump.

"One." I said with as steady a breath as possible.

"Two." This one landed square on my backside and again I jumped.

"Three." This time the belt bit me at the top of my ass and it hurt just as much as the previous strikes. I did all I could to keep my breath steady and not cry out.

"Four." Keep thinking of a steady breath.

"Ah! Five!" Now it hurt bad. The crack of the belt was louder than ever before and I could feel my legs shaking, the sting not receding.

"Don't you dare lean forward. Keep counting." I didn't even realize I had jerked my whole body forward. I readjusted myself to the position he wanted me in. I could do this.

"Six." It still hurt but I could get through it, only four more.

"Ow! Seven. Please, I won't do it again sir. Please, sir." I lost control of my hand which flew to my left side to cover the spot where the belt bit into my skin. Then a chill ran through me as I felt his breath on my ear and his hand on mine.

"I will not hesitate to tie you down and keep going. Is that what you need? To be tied down until you understand how to control yourself?"

"No sir, please I'll be good I promise. Please, sir." I didn't even have control over my speech. My voice was trembling.

"Either stop begging or say the safe word." The ice was in my veins again. That cold voice resounding through the room. No, I didn't want to use the safe word. I was OK, I could keep going.

"Eight." My voice was mine again and I steadied my limbs waiting for the last two strokes.

"Nine." Only one more.

"Remember your place. You always ask for permission. You are to be controlled and commanded. Do you understand? Answer." That voice could freeze hell it was so cold.

"Yes."

"Yes what!"

"Yes, sir. Ten!" That last stroke left an echoing crack in the room. I wanted nothing more to fall to the ground and be absorbed by the floor. I thought for sure that I was done. He would not want a girl so defiant. I couldn't even make it through 10 strokes without having to be scolded. This was the end of it.

His hands began rubbing my pink skin. His touch was light as a feather at first but grew steady and firm slowly. The oil, I had forgotten about it. He was massaging me with it, caressing every pink inch. The pain that had once consumed me was being melted away, massaged away. Then all too soon, it was over. He stood up and came in front of me again.

"Get up. You see that table? Go lay on it face down. Put your hands behind your back."

The table he pointed me to was waist high with a small step stool underneath. My limbs were shaking once again but I managed to get onto the table and move forward. I laid down on my stomach with my head resting on its side and put my hands behind my back. Instantly I felt something grabbing my wrists. I tried to look over my shoulder but I only saw him with the tiniest smile playing at his lips.

"You need to gain more control over your limbs, perhaps having them cuffed will help." Again, he wasn't asking a question. Now he stood beside me and i could see him still straining against his jeans. He ran his hand along the back of my neck and down my spine.

"You handled that very well. Now I want to see how you handle pleasure. If you can control yourself." His fingers slid through mine and across my ass down the back of my thigh. He stopped at the spot behind my knee and drew circles with his finger. "I wonder if you need discipline in that arena as well," he was now circling up the inside of my leg toward the apex of my thighs. I could feel myself growing engorged with anticipation, feeling myself getting wet at the thought of those fingers inside me. "Ah, are you getting wet my pretty little thing? Does my touch excite you?" His fingers were getting closer and closer causing my ache to intensify. "Answer me." My face grew warm at his words.

"Yes, sir, your touch excites me. Please, sir, don't stop."

"Oh don't worry my pretty thing, I won't." And with that he slid a single finger along my slit, feeling the folds of me. His finger slowly pushed inside my body and I could hear a small sigh escape him. Then another finger and another sigh. He was enjoying me, I was sure of it. He was enjoying the feel of me on his strong fingers. I moved my legs slightly while I clamped my body down on him.

"Open those legs and keep them open. You will never close those legs to me unless I tell you that you can. Do you understand?" That ice was back and I could almost feel his cold voice inside me. I quickly moved my legs to the edges of the table.

"Yes, sir, I understand. I'm sorry sir." I kept my face against the table and I hoped he could see my remorse.

"Look at me." I looked up at him moving my face to rest on my chin. "What dark eyes. What a beautiful face you have." His other hand lightly caressed my hair and ran down my cheek to cup my face. "How I'd like to see those eyes look at me with my cock in your pretty mouth." He ran his thumb across my lips and pushed in. I let him find my tongue and rest the tip of his thumb there while his other fingers continue to slide in and out of me from between my legs. His sigh was audible throughout the room, "Soon, but not right now," and his was gone from me.

For a few moments I stayed perfectly still trying to hear him or feel his presence in the room. I couldn't find him and that worried me. Then I felt it, a quick and precise sting like a needle or... like the belt. It hit again and I yelped a high pitched sound.

"Have you ever been worked over with a crop? Has a man made you come like this?"

"No, sir." I wasn't entirely sure if I was supposed to answer.

"Well now, we can't have that can we?" He began lightly taping me on my thigh. A few quick taps and then a short strike. He moved up on my thigh and repeated the whole routine again. Then again and again until he made his way back to the apex of my thighs. I was left in anticipation for the next set of tapping and strikes, but I wasn't expecting this.

"Ah, oh god sir, please." He tapped the tip of the crop directly on my clit. Tap, tap, tap, tap, it kept going relentlessly. It felt like nothing I had ever experienced. It was pleasure and pain rolled into one. My face fell back to the table and my hands shook behind me. Tap, tap, tap, he was speeding up the tempo. Tap, tap, tap, my breathing became ragged and short.

"Ow, ah, oh sir please." He struck my clit with the crop. It hit me hard and a wave of immense pleasure mixed with a little pain coursed through my body. I wanted more. I wanted him to touch me again with the crop or whatever. I needed it. Instead I was met with nothing.

"Shall I continue? Remember, you must ask permission for anything and everything. Do you understand?" Yes, I told myself. I must ask permission to come.

"Please, sir, make me come. Please, sir I need it." He began tapping again at a fast tempo pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I needed to be pushed over that edge. I'd do anything for it. I lifted my hips and pulled my knees under a bit, lifting myself closer to him.

"No, do not come." The tapping continued with the occasional stroke and then nothing for a moment. He was taking me to the edge, teasing me, and then leaving me teetering. It was hell and heaven, fire inside me and ice from him. It continued for so long and I thought for sure I wouldn't last.

"Get off of the table. Get on your knees right here." And it stopped. No more tapping, no more teasing. His words echoed slightly through the room. I slid from the table as quickly as I could and with shaking legs dropped to my knees, my hands still bound behind me.

"I want to know if that pretty little mouth of yours can do anything besides beg." I kept my head down but I could feel his gaze on me, cold and controlling, as he reached behind me to undo the cuffs. "You may pull my jeans and boxers down now." He said as he towered over me.

I took a breath to steady myself and then ran my hands up his thighs like I had done before. I carefully pulled his zipper down and hooked my fingers into the waistband of his jeans and boxers together. Without looking up I slid his pants down his legs and watched his erection spring free. I sat back not wanting to do anything without being told.

"Look at me, I want to see those eyes." Tentatively I looked up at him through my lashes. He appeared nothing but cool and collected. In control. That's what he was, in control. "So innocent looking," his hand cupped my face again, his thumb on my lips, "so sweet," and he leaned forward placing the tip of his cock right before my lips. He pressed his cock against me and I opened my lips ever so slightly letting a small breath escape. I kept my eyes on him and could see him moan through gritted teeth.

"Open those sweet lips for me pretty thing," I did as he said, "how hot is that little mouth of yours," he sighed as he slipped his cock into my mouth and I wrapped my lips around him. I pressed my tongue against him savoring his taste. He continued pressing into my mouth and I did my best to relax my throat and steady my breathing. After a moment he had his entire length in my mouth with his cock pressed against the back of my throat. I moaned onto him looking up to see any reaction. He looked back into my eyes with a wicked grin on his face. The ice was gone, a fire was blazing in his eyes and he looked at me with that evil grin. His hand left my face to grab my hair, his other hand framed the side of my head with his thumb pressing into the flesh by my eye. We held our gaze for a long moment before he slid out of me holding the tip of his cock on my lips again.

"So innocent... so sweet... I want to know just how sweet you can be." And with that final statement he thrust his length in its entirety back into my mouth. He held himself there for half of a second before thrusting out and in again. He kept a fast, steady tempo; in and out. I did everything I could to keep my breathing steady, keep my eyes on him, and ignore the ache between my legs that had returned. He was grunting and moaning as he moved in and out of my mouth. The lights from above reflected a sheen of sweat on his forehead and a small twinkle in his eye. I let my lips pull up a bit and grazed his cock with my teeth.

"Oh that's it my sweet, just like that." He breathed his words down to me. I had been sliding my tongue around his cock but now I pressed up against him and began contracting my throat trying to swallow. "Yes my pretty little thing, take it all down that sweet, hot throat. You look so lovely with my cock in you." His breathing was heavy now and getting faster. I knew it wouldn't be long before he finished. I kept up my efforts pushing him to the edge.

"Fuck you're so good." I could feel him getting harder and beginning to twitch.

"You will swallow every last drop." He said to me through gritted teeth, his chest heaving with every breath. I kept my throat squeezing him and let my teeth press into him a little more.

"Oh that's it my sweet. I'm going to come down that sweet, velvet throat of yours. Look at me when I come in your mouth." My eyes flew up to him, I hadn't noticed that my eyes had fallen to watch his cock moving. I held my gaze on him, feeling my eyes grow wide with anticipation, wanting him to come in my mouth. Then I felt his cock twitch again and I pressed my tongue onto him, massaging him to his climax. He came in my mouth as I did, his come sliding down my throat and filling my mouth at the same time. He held still twisting his fist in my hair and pulling me down onto him, his other hand holding me so that my eyes couldn't leave his. He closed his eyes for the briefest moment as his climax subsided.

Once he was spent he pulled out and slid his pants back on. "Stand up," he said through heavy breathing, "that was very nice, so very nice." He paced around me like he had before. I returned my gaze to the floor, afraid once again to look at him. He came back to stand in front of me once again and lifted my face forcing me to look into his eyes. "You have done very well my pretty thing. Don't worry, you will be rewarded for your effort. I expect you back here in two hours, when your training will continue and... perhaps... intensify. You're excused."

"Yes, sir."

I slowly turned around feeling his eyes burn into me and then walked through the door. Once the door was closed I breathed a sigh of relief. I had done it, I had made it through my first session and he wanted me back for another. Perhaps he would take me as a submissive, train me and teach me the discipline and control that I needed. Perhaps.

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TamLin01TamLin01almost 10 years ago

I understand this is your first story here, so congratulations. I hope you keep writing.

One of the easiest but most important writing tips for right out the gate: remove redundancies. Very often when we write we say too much. This inflates a story, making it longer without adding any substance. Let's look at one of your opening 'graphs as it is now:

[["He walked around me and I could feel his eyes scanning every inch of my skin. Was he trying to find a flaw, a reason to send me on my way? Or was he enjoying this? Savoring my sight? One made me feel worried, self-conscious, but the other... the other made me feel like a goddess. After making two rounds he finally stopped behind me and took a step closer. Mere centimeters from my skin, from my neck, he leaned in and I could feel his breath on me."]]

That's okay. But if I were your editor I'd suggest the following changes, which I'll explain in a moment:

[["I could feel his eyes scanning every inch of me. Was he looking for a reason to send me away? Or was he savoring the sight of me? The idea made me feel like a goddess. After circling me twice he stopped mere centimeters behind me. I felt his breath on my neck."]]

I'll admit, that's a pretty drastic edit. I'm not saying you necessarily have to write this way, but these changes demonstrate a few principles that would improve your style:

*We don't have to say up front "He walked around me," because just a little later we say that he was "scanning every inch" and that he stopped after "two rounds," which coming in such short succession after each other imply the circling. Anybody reading those second two items would automatically assume the first, so we can drop it and not really lose anything.

*To say that he was "looking for a flaw" and looking "for a reason to send me on my way" is redundant, because aren't those the same thing? We can say one or the other.

*By a similar token, do we really need to explain that the protagonist would be anxious about the idea of being sent away? Even this early in the story we know enough about her that this is self-evident, so there's no need to spell it out. We may ask exactly the same question of the parts about "enjoying this" and "savoring my sight." Savoring indicates enjoying, so here we have two sentences right next door to each other that say the exact same thing. We really only need one.

*Often here we're using two three words when just one will do: "Every inch of my skin" is fine, but doesn't "every inch of me" mean the exact same thing? It's only the difference of one word, but doesn't it sound more concise, more straightforward, and "cleaner," for lack of a better term?

Like I said, this is a pretty big edit of this one 'graph, and I'm not saying you have to write this way. But consider this: Doesn't the second paragraph contain all of the exact same information as your original one? And it does it in less than 2/3rds of the space. If you approached the entire story this way it would become shorter by a third without giving up anything.

Now, sometimes we want stories, or bits of stories, to be a little bit longer than they expressly have to be, for the sake of pacing, atmosphere, and similar concerns. But most professional writers and virtually all professional editors will tell you that it's better to write short than to write long, and that omitting unnecessary words is the vanguard rule for better writing. Brevity helps maintain reader interests, makes your prose more muscular and direct, and in longer stories frees up space for all that extra story you want to include but which might otherwise make the tale unwieldy.

Like I said, keep writing, and I hope we see more of your material around here. Good luck.

FindmywayFindmywayalmost 10 years ago
Wonderful start

Lovely chapter. Nicely written, very hot. Looking forward to reading more.

visioneervisioneeralmost 10 years ago

Excellent writing. You weave a beautiful, erotic story that I hope is only a beginning. Looking forward to reading more from your devious imagination.

Serafina1210Serafina1210almost 10 years ago
Sweet

Painful and naughty. Let's have more soon.

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