A Proper Household Pt. 02

My experience as a Master and woman-trainer was unusual. Nearly all of the women who inspired Me on this path and with whom I had developed My Ways and views were very smart, highly educated women who "should have known better." From the beginning it was not a question of "playing" some kind of BDSM game. The fact is by carefully listening to, observing and "feeling" women I encountered, I realized that their "cover" narrative for their lives that emphasized their autonomy, independence and self-will was often not at all related to their actual views about Men and women and sexuality. Almost all the women I'd been involved with saw themselves consciously as feminists of one sort or the other, but deeper, in their heart of hearts, were views that were in very sharp contradiction to their feminist rhetoric.

I had a number of "D/s" experiences long before I had ever heard the term or idea.

In retrospect, I see them as Me beginning to claim a Maleness that was a deep part of Me, but which everyone pretended was a false construct. So it wasn't about "play" or some fad, it was about power and the urge to power that I believe is a natural Male essence. In My first such experience, a very bright, feminist-socialist girlfriend of Mine in college looked Me in the eye one day apropos of nothing and said, "Why don't you every rape me?" Now no feminist could be caught joking about rape in those days. This was the early days of the movement of the 1960s and early 1970s.

This comment struck Me like a lightning bolt. I was shocked, taken aback and got a hard-on immediately. The next Saturday My little feminist friend got what she was asking for. I tied her arms to the bedposts with pantyhose (she owned 2 pair), stuffed a pair of her panties in her mouth and for good measure, I dug out a pair of black patent leather high heels out of her closet that I'd noticed hidden away. (In those days high heels were derided as the very symbol of Patriarchy's desire to cripple and control women and no self-respecting feminist was to be seen in them). But I wanted them on My Alyson's feet to make her clearly into My fuckwhore. Her only complaint after I was done was that I had come too soon and had not "raped" her longer.

After this, I began to assume rights and privileges with Alyson that would have been (and was) shocking to her feminist friends. I remember fondly a party I had at My house where her feminist cohort came over in their shabby, dress-down hippy garb to find My Alyson in a dress, hose, high heels and make-up. (All of which would be considered forbidden to self-respecting women in that group). Periodically, I would take Alyson into the bedroom to feel her cunt and tits roughly, kiss her and have her suck My Cock. Then, flushed with fuck need and harsh usage, she'd have to go out and make normal conversation. I enjoyed deeply this sort of humiliation of her and she followed Me down this path quite a ways. This relationship of domination and submission went on for several months before I reached her limits with My desires and We/we broke up.

Unfortunately, when I met My future wife Marie I was not clear about My basic needs and desires as a Man, though I had had several experiences that, I learned later, would be called D/s experiences. And, because of My Madonna complex regarding My wife, who I wooed and married under the most vanilla conditions, as I became clearer and clearer in My understanding of Myself as a Master and woman-controller, I never, before this, tried to introduce her to this world of Mine. Somehow I think I was trying to protect her. So I indulged My need for Control and Mastery with girlfriends and affairs outside marriage. Until now.

I read Marie's mewling, ass-kissing letter with skepticism. A Man wants a bitch to tell Him only what He wants to hear, but her statements reflected so perfectly My Own views I could not take them at face value, though she had made the most pleasing and satisfying statements.

I had Marie kneel at My feet on a cushion with head bowed while I perused her letter.

"'A proper household is absolutely male centered and cock centered?' Do you actually believe this kind of tripe that you written? It's like you just want to recite the most sexist, Male Supremacist crap because you have no choice. I'm looking for the truth from you, bitch! " I said to her with some anger.

Marie had gone to a place in herself that I KNEW was in all women, but was surprising, somehow, in My Own forthright wife. she had receded into the softest, most feminine, pleasing tones of speech. she, dressed perfectly as an adult woman for the first time in her life, had the effect of a powerless little girl. She said:

"Sir, i have thought of this for 5 years, since I opened your toolbox and saw that you were a MAN. i believe every word I have said to the core of my cunt soul. i am here to serve you, Sir, like a real woman for a change. i just want the phony bullshit over. Every cunt needs real Guidance..." tears began to flow from Marie's pretty brown eyes. I had searched for treasure everywhere and it was buried at My doorstep.