A Question of Relativity

The subbrane monster didn't even have time to scream as air started to scream out of the holes punched through the ship -- on both sides of the room -- and red and yellow alarm lights started to strobe from the walls.

"You just took out half the backup power generators," Emps said, sounding remarkably calm.

"Yuppers!" I grinned.

"This ship is going to explode in, uh-" Emps made as if to check his watch. "Thirty seconds?"

"Totes," I said. "Totes as a boat."

The surviving monsters were rushing at us. Emps took his stupidly huge gun off -- then smiled at me.

"This wasn't even remotely necessary, was it?" he asked.

"Doubly not," I said, grinning at him. "You do not need a phallic symbol, dude."

The wormhole swept us up.

A few nanoseconds later, the magnetic bottle failed and the subbrane invasion of our universe finally exploded - leaving nothing but a few asteroids within the hundred click radius of the blast that had gotten a few degrees warmers for a bit, and a slowly expanding cloud of trace materials that might have once said that an Empire had died there.

###

The beaches of the planet were unnamed. The planet was unnamed, the three moons that hung in the faintly pinkish sky were unnamed. The ocean was unnamed too. Everything lacked a name here. That was why it was a great place to plonk your butt down and throw yourself back and lay underneath the light of a bright yellow G-class star and soak up the solar rays. I closed my eyes and spread my arms and languished there.

The soft crunching sound of footsteps filled my ears. I didn't open my eyes, but I did sense that Emps was approaching. The weight difference from when he had left meant that he was carrying something. Or he had eaten something. I opened one eye and saw that he was holding something that looked like a coconut. He had stuck a straw in it, and since he wasn't dead, I figured it was close enough to a coconut to be used as a coconut.

I tried to control my face. Emps did not need to know that he rocked a fucking speedo. The slender black fabric clung around his hips, leaving acres and acres of sculpted muscle and bronzed skin and scars. Real scars, not the fake scars that people sometimes got. There were several dozen puckered wounds above and around his heart, a trio of cuts along his hip, what looked like a puncture wound near his belly button. Lets just say, real scars?

Flash flood season.

Yowza.

Rawr!

Om nom nom!

Gnnhrhghh!

Okay, Jammie, stay calm, don't let him know you find him utterly gorgeous, I thought.

"Are you sure that's safe to drink?" I asked.

"I have genetically modified gut bacteria and some extra organs," he said, casually. "So, is this what humans do in the future?"

"A? Posthumans," I said, closing my eyes and arching my back slightly. I may have been trying to accentuate the swell of my breasts. Or maybe I was just stretching. Who knows? It was a mystery that would never be answered by any of the sciences of the cosmos.

...it was the breasts thing.

"B?" I continued, still stretching. "Basically, yes. This is what we do. Lounge around and-"

A wormhole cracked open, startling me into sitting up and Emps into dropping his alien coconut drink. Emps immediately shifted into a combat stance and I just scowled -- because through the portal came Glimmer Retrograde. Her nose was stuck up against her stupid gauche as hell portable computer. She looked past it at me and grinned.

"Hey," she said. "I was just checking to see if-"

"It's been three months!" I said, throwing out my hands. "Relatively speaking. Why are you still playing freaking Digimon!?"

"It's, uh, Pokemon, and it has been relatively popular for longer than several extant species have existed in their current biological state," Glimmer said, her brow furrowing. "Why'd you think we'd get sick of it in a month or two?"

"B-Becuase-" I spluttered. "It's...stupid!"

"You're stupid!" Glimmer said, sticking her tongue out at me.

"I'm afraid I will need to side with the Collective on this one," Emps said, sounding amused. Glimmer looked from me to him. Her eyes widened and she looked back at me. Her brow furrowed slightly and a text message from her popped up in my field of vision.

[G.R: Duuuuuuuuude. He's hot.]

[P&J: Back off bitch, he's mine ;)]

[G.R: he's got a freaking EIGHT pack]

[P&J: I...dude, I was serious, he's mine. *growl*]

Glimmer grinned at me and Emps, then shook her head. "Well, if you two aren't up for playing some Pokeman Go, I guess I'll just be going." She wiggled her nose playfully at me, then wiggled her eyebrows up and down, then stepped backwards through her wormhole. As it cracked shut with a wave of ozone-scented air, Emps shook his head.

"Kids these days," he said. "Why, in my day, do you know what we did for fun?"

"Conquered the local habitable zone?" I asked, flinging myself back on the sun-soaked ground.

Emps snorted. "War is never fun. I never engaged in that for vainglory or entertainment. No, no." He shook his head and knelt down to pick up his coconut drink. Sipping from it, he sighed. "My second favorite pastime was to ride genetically engineered T-rex analogs and hunt rapacious predabeasts with explosive tipped power lances."

I slowly sat up, then turned to face him. My fingers worked into the sand and I whispered. "That. Sounds. Fucking. Amazing."

Emps grinned at me -- and for a moment, he looked quite youthful. "It was a bit more sporting than it sounds. Predabeasts can survive having limbs blown off."

I furrowed my brow. "Wait, second favorite pastime?" I asked. "What was the first?"

Emps coughed, then sipped from his straw. "Well, that, you may need to wait until you're older."

"Hey, I have a combined mental age of, like, three hundred and ninety six!" I said, angrily. "And if you're talking about-" I paused, then narrowed my eyes, slowly leaning closer. Emps looked studiously innocent.

"Youuuuuuuu had a harem!" I said, in a sing song.

"I beg your pardon!" he spluttered. "I ran the most enlightened hegemonic imperium the galaxy had ever seen!"

"He doth protest too much!" I said, slapping his chest. My fingers spread out and for a moment, I was just feeling the smoothness of him, the sleek strength of his muscles. The Emps didn't notice -- instead, he was spluttering something about how he never needed a kept woman, and that he merely needed turn his attention to any willing female and they would merely fall to his seductive wiles. I grinned slowly, then focused.

There are some advantages to being a gestalt consciousness, even if it was the product of a botched intelligence uplifting process. For example?

My arms slid around the Emp's shoulders, fingers interlacing on his chest, my breasts pressing to his back. His eyes widened as I stuck my nose in his long, dark hair and breathed in the richness of his scent -- because while I was doing that, I was also sliding my rump down onto his lap. The double sensations of my two bodies filled my collective with tingling excitement as my fingers caressed his chest more openly now, circling around his nipples. The me in front of him smiled slowly and murmured.

"Seductive whiles, huh?"

"I- uh, is this appropriate?" He asked. "I don't know your age of majority, you-"

"Oh, we're legal," the me behind him said as a third me leaned in from the side and started to nibble on his ear. The third me purred, gently, her breath warm and moist against him. "Stop being so uptight, Big E."

"Mm, I have a name, you know," he murmured, relaxing fractionally -- one of his broad hands cupping the me on his lap's ass. His fingers caressed me -- gently, then more firmly. Oh it was nice. I closed my eyes and nuzzled his neck -- all three of me kissing agaisnt his skin as I felt his hand delve into the me to the left's pants. His fingers were unerring, finding my pussy and rubbing it gently. Oh he knew what he was doing -- his broad fingers slipped into my hot, wet sex and three moans rose from each side of him.

"Admit it!" me from behind gasped. "You like being called Emperor in bed, don't you?" Her fingernails dug into his chest gently.

"I admit nothing," Emps said -- sounding a bit distracted as he started to thrust with his finger faster and faster and faster. His thumb found my clit and I felt my own hands cup my breasts -- the slight blurring of focus that came from colocation making even my own caresses a shock. A pleasant shock. A delicious shock, as I knew exactly how hard to squeeze my own nipples to make myself croon. The Emp's hand slid from me in his lap's ass to her head. Well, my head. Whatever.

I didn't waste any time getting my teeth into his speedo and ripping it aside. His cock sprang free. And as I had said on the starship, if he hadn't been proportionally distributed in his immenseness, I would have been quite sad.

I was not sad.

All three of me took a break from what we were doing, in fact, to admire his cock from three different angles. Looking at it with cross eyes as it rested against my forehead, my nose nestled against his balls. Looking at it over his shoulder, peeking down. Looking at it from the side, craning my head around. From those angles, we saw that he was easily big enough to give an anthro-horse a run for his money. And he smelled musky. Sweet.

"I see how this modification was needed to conquer the galaxy," me behind him said, grinning wickedly as she peered over his shoulder at his junk.

"Oh be quiet," Emps said, sounding affronted. "I didn't need to tweak a thing."

"Suuuuuuuuure you didn't," I said -- the me in his lap that is -- as I stuck out my tongue and slid the tip from the base of his cock to the very top, tasting the warm tang of his pre. My eyes met his and I made sure to make them twinkle with a tiny manipulation of my holographic projection. I slid my mouth forward and took his entire cock into my throat with the ease that only a posthuman girl could manage. As I did so, the me behind him floated herself into the air, then locked her thighs around a surprised Emp's face. Her sex pressed to his mouth and she bent herself backwards, contorting with the same skill and grace of an acrobat. I felt his tongue delving into her sex -- in the same way I felt his finger thrusting into the third me's pussy.

And his tongue was just as good as his finger.

The me who was bending herself down managed to kiss my shoulder blades. So, I focused and made a wormhole -- it cracked open and she leaned through it, emerging with her belly against the sand, her mouth pressed to my sex. I closed my eyes and started to just revel in the excatsty of two tongues delving into my sex at the same time, the exquisite differences between timing and direction sending pleasure rocking through me. As I rocked with a shuddering orgasm, I started to bob my head up and down, sucking and slurping on his cock.

Emps, despite being a barbarian despot from an era where people thought conquering the galaxy was a sensible way to spend your time, caught on fast and focused his efforts on the two girls that sat on his face and his hand respectively. His free hand reached down and ruffled the hair of the girl on his face -- and the feeling of his fingers caressing my scalp was as encouraging as anything. I redoubled my efforts, growing my tongue longer and wrapping it around his cock.

Emps lasted longer than anyone should have, considering he hadn't had sex in literally thousands of years.

But still.

Only an hour of my cocksucking abilities? Like, I wasn't even that good! Not that I'd tell him that. But most other boys I went down on could last days.

"F-Fuck!" Emps gasped around the thighs closed around his head and shuddered. My palm -- cupping and squeezing his balls -- felt them twitch. Then his seed exploded in my mouth, filling my throat with the delicious taste of maleness. There was something subtly different about sucking off a futanari and sucking off a dude. Maybe it was just my imagination, but dudes just tasted more dudely. While girls? They always ended up tasting girly.

Which was fine! Great, even, when you really needed a hit of straight girl-cum.

But sometimes, Jammie needed herself some yummy cum.

I drew my mouth back, panting, cum dripping down my chin. I licked it up and grinned at Emps. "That was good," I whispered as the other mes rejoiend with the primary collective, their sensations and memories washing through me -- they had transmitted to me during the experience, but now we were properly reintegrating and it drove me wild. My hips bucked and I came again and again and again, my sex dripping on the sand as I kissed and nuzzled Emps' belly and chest. Then, panting, I moaned in his ear.

"Fuck me."

Emps grabbed me, then laid me on my back. One hand spread my leg up and over my head. His cock -- hard again -- pressed to my sex and he leaned his head forward, whispering in my ear.

"Kush," he said.

"Muhh?" I mumbled, opening one eye.

"My name?" He grinned at me. "It's Kush."

I blinked, slowly. "Oh."

Then all thought was obliterated because Kush thrust into me with a single, powerful stroke. His cock spread my sex and filled me to the brim. I closed my eyes and arched my back, my lips spreading -- but no noise came out. There was no room for noise. I grabbed onto his back and closed my limbs around him, squeezing him to me as his cock plunged into me with the hot, wet sounds of fucking. His balls slapped my ass and for a moment, my mind buzzed through all the things we could do to add some extra spices. I could colocate again. Activate some narcoprograms to simulate drugs. I could add some bondage.

But at the moment, all I needed was Kush fucking my brains out.

My ass made a divot in the sand as he thrust into me, his hands planted to either side of my shoulders. I rolled my hips with him, gasping and whispering. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Oh Jammie," he whispered.

"Ee!" I turned my head to the side, closing my eyes as another climax slammed through my body. My cunt tightened around him and Kush darted forward. He kissed and sucked on my neck and lifted one palm to stroke my breast gently. I didn't care if he smeared sand against my sweating body. At that moment, all that I wanted was him to cum inside me.

As if he was psychic, he thrust once more and came.

Hard.

Seed filled me and I quivered underneath him -- pleasure sparking behind my eyes. I panted heavily, gasps that came more from psychology than physiology. Then, like we were puppets with our strings cut, we melted together. He laid atop me and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. My nose nuzzled against his neck and I took advantage of the fact that I was a posthuman with power over space and time to sturdy my body against his weight. I liked the feeling of being pressed into the ground, thank you very much.

"I needed that," he gasped, quietly.

"Mmmeee three," I mumbled.

Kush chuckled, kissing my forehead -- and then slid backwards. He came free in a moment, his cock still half hard, and his thick, almost creamy cum dripped from my slit, puddling on the sand. I grinned weakly.

"Man, I am going to be soooo preggers," I said, quietly.

Kush tensed.

I laughed, pointing my finger weakly at him. "Hah! Got you!"

Kush poked my tummy. "You are not very respectful. Some people called me a God, you know."

"Pfffffhfhtbbb." I wiggled my arms weakly. "I'm more of a god than you."

Kush grinned at me. "Then explain this," he said, casually. "How am I still here?"

My brow furrowed slightly. "Zuh?"

Kush slowly stretched his arms behind his back. "Well, think of it like this. I was in that cryocrypt- "

"Reefersleep," I mumbled.

He reached down, rolled me onto my back, and slapped my ass with one hand -- hard enough to make he squeak, but softly enough to not actually hurt.

"Silence, wench!" He said, his voice a mixture of stern and playful. I muttered something mutinous underneath my breath -- things about revolutions and guillotines and tall hats and conquering Europe.

"-I was in the crypt for thousands of years, surrounding by daemons-"

"Braneworld parasites," I mumbled.

Slap! Another spank. My sex ached and I knew that he'd be fucking me again soon. There was no way I was wormholing him off this backwoods planet without it.

"-and YET!" Kush said. "They never actually entered the chamber to kill me. Almost as if they were repelled by my magnificence."

I rolled onto my back, looking up at him. "Or maybe," I said, quietly. "Trebonius was loyal to you, even if he could never admit it." I poked his chest. "I mean, who knows what stuff the lower braneworld tried to get him to say or do. And, I mean, he did give us, like, an infinity billion years to talk to him when he could have just rushed us."

Kush looked uncertain.

"We'll never know," he said, shaking his head.

I shrugged, then rolled back onto my belly. "I guess it's all how you look at his actions. Either crazy or actually loyal, the difference is how it makes you feel." I smiled, resting my cheek on my forearms as I lay under the sun, feeling Kush's cum inside of me. It was nice.

"All a question of relativity then?" Kush asked.

"Yup," I said, lazily. "Now get over here and fuck me again."

"Or else what?"

"Or else I leave you here, Kush."

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Mmm...try me..."

And with a laugh, Emperor Kush, conquer of Mars and ruler of the Terran Hegemony for more than three centuries, pounced like a hunting cat.

In the end, I did manage to outlast that stupid pokemon fad -- even if it took a few months.

It took time to genetically engineer the T-rexes after all.

THE END