tagHumor & SatireA Real Dickhead Author!

A Real Dickhead Author!


The Two Jars.

Karen lay in a kaleidoscope of colors surrounded by cotton wool. A soft humming sound was felt, but not exactley heard. Something touched her world. She opened her eyes. David was there, his hand brushing her face, kneeling between her thighs. He looked lithe, supple and bronzed, his penis still erect, all ten inches of it and as thick as a man's arm. Karen's love juices glistened along it's whole length, enhancing the rigid member. She looked into his eyes and knew instantly.

"You didn't cum", it was not a question she asked, just a statement.

"Darling", David said, " Why discuss it again. Every time I manage 2 or 3 strokes you have a roaring orgasm. It is unfair to keep going when you float off somewhere. It .... well, no point in continuing as I woudn't know if I hurt you".

Karen looked at the frustration in his eyes and decided to do something about this tomorrow, she had a High-School friend across the other side of town who part-owned a pharmacy. She did not see her often enough for her to be known as a 'local', and trusted her to be discreet.

The next day she drove over, greeting her old school friend Jaqui warmly, confiding in her as to what the problem was, simply that David was too big and was there something that could ... well ...shrink it a bit so that they could both enjoy more prolonged love-making sessions, and both achieve orgasms simultaneously.

Jaqui looked bemused " All the men who come in here always want Pills, Creams and such to make it bigger, never had a call to make one smaller, I will ask my partner". She went behind the counter and began talking to a very old white-haired woman, who looked at Karen occasionally whilst Jaqui was explaining the problem. The white-haired old lady nodded, disappeared into the rear of the pharmacy and returned holding two jars, one blue, one green. Motioning Karen over the white-haired old lady handed the blue one to her. The jar was odd shaped, small enough to hold easily enough, what it was made of was difficult to say. At one time the jar had had a label attached, which was torn and looked very old, the writing appeared to have been done with real ink, but was smeared, but one was just able to read the word --er Penis.

"Rub the cream on your pussy lips before love-making, when he enters you it will shrink to fit you perfectly". The white-haired old woman said. "These potions have been in my family for generations but these days everybody appears to wan't a bigger penis, not a smaller one".

Karen reached into her handbag, "How much"?

" There is no charge, my dear, from what Jaqui tells me your david must have suffered terribly, not being able to get satisfaction ."

Karen bade her goodbyes. The week went uneventful enough. David taking her to her favourite Resturant on Saturday evening before returning to the apartment, when the usual Love-Making-Session began.

"Excuse me Dave, just going to freshen up a bit". Karen winked at david, went into the bathroom, undid the jar and smeared the contents onto her pussy-lips. The cream sent an instant warm through her loins, making her feel very horny. Naked she lay on the bed, David, as usual having already risen to the occasion. He placed his penis onto her pussy-lips, entering Karen slowly, two inches, three inches, four inches, five inches .....Karen screamed, raising her feet to David's chest she gave him an almighty shove, putting him flat on his back on the floor, his penis laying on his belly. It was now the thickness of a man's thigh, its length at least eighteen inches!.

Karen inched herself up and carefully inspected her pussy, fearing that it may be the size of a train tunnel. Fortunatley she could see no damage, but the memory of David's penis filling her like 'That' made her shudder. She vowed to return to the pharmacy tomorrow to give that Jaqui a piece of her mind. She went to the kitchen, found some ice and, wrapping this into a towel, placed it around David's penis, consoling him until it shrank to a size enough that allowed him to go home.

She drove across town the next day, confronting Jaqui and the white-haired-old woman, explaining what had happened.

"I think", the white-haired-old woman said, "That it was the GREEN jar you should have had, the labeling was undecipherable, and being -------er probably read originally 'Bigger' and 'Smaller', but THIS cream you have to cover his penis completley with it, there is no charge, we are sorry for the trouble and mix-up which we have caused you".

Accepting the apology Karen spent the week wondering how David was managing, but the Saturday went peacefully enough, going to their usual favourite resturant, returning to Karens's apartment, and ...... both laying naked on the bed, Karen began applying the cream to David's enormous penis. No sooner had she finished when David fell off the bed, clutching his penis, rolling around the floor, moaning.

Karen panicked, dialling 911, grabbing her dressing-gown, running downstairs into the street where she could already hear the siren of the Paramedics.

The Medics rushed up the stairs, opened the door and stopped. Karen looked over their shoulder. On the floor was a penis 6 feet long, the thickness of a man and very pink. On the tip of the penis was David's head, his eyes looking directly into Karen's with a look of astonishmet.

The bottom line is that this writer is now a Dick-Head :) :) :)!

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