A Red Leaf & Ten Orchids Ch. 15

I've also determined that your release is indeed finalized." He reached into his briefcase for a pile of folders and pulled out a copy. "Here it is; you're not affected by the warning order, subject to the emergency recall provision for a time. I think that this news simplifies a few things for you both."

Josh, Kayla and Rose stared at it. Jillian looked slightly bored. Kayla's mouth fell open, and she looked up at Joshua.

Before the wheels in her head could reach the next conclusion and cause her to wonder if he'd still marry her quickly or at all, he kissed her and said, "Hey, a deal's a deal. Don't even THINK about trying to get out of marrying me. You're still in charge of the timetable though."

He kissed her again and she began to cry. Rose threw her arms around Jim and hugged him tightly, only kissing him on release. Daisy barked at Jillian, who went to continue playing with her.

Kayla still sat in shock, tears in her eyes. Joshua nudged her. "I'm beginning to worry about you, honey. I've never seen you go this long without speaking, or yelling at me, or trying to kill me, or something."

He pulled her to her feet, put his arms around her, and kissed her again. "Maybe a little mouth-to-mouth, what do you think?"

She threw her arms around his neck, kissed him, and hugged him tightly, whispering, "I'm not doubting you. I'm still afraid to stop blinking, baby. Do you really still want to marry me?"

He kissed her ear, and whispered. "Yes, I'm hoping sooner rather than later since I'm afraid that you might change your mind once you get time to think about it or see how I fold my laundry."

She said, "Josh, I'll never change my mind. Do you think Jim will agree to be your best man?"

Josh chuckled. "He already has. I asked him as we were leaving Albuquerque."

She kissed him. "God, you're fantastic. I can't believe that nobody's claimed you before me."

"That's because, as Consuela says, nobody's ever tried using a firearm on me before. Those that did weren't after my body like you were either. And speaking of focusing media attention.."

He pulled out his cell phone and handed it to Kayla. "'Suela is 5 on my speed dial, and Rita is 6. See if you can get them to come out here tonight, or at least one of them. Don't tell them what's up. I need to see their faces when you do. Wish I could have a camera ready for the reaction."

Kayla sat down to dial, and Josh filled Jim in on their friends.

A few minutes later however, Kayla noticed that Josh was silent as he walked slowly toward the bunkhouse. She intercepted him as he went through the door. "What is it?" she asked looking up into his eyes.

"He told you, didn't he?" Josh didn't know whether to be ashamed, angry, sad, or all of the above. "He doesn't know it, but I've been around him long enough to hear the bullshit shovel scraping."

Kayla gently pushed him back against the wall. She kissed him and asked him to listen to her for a minute. "Please don't be angry with him. It's my fault. I actually asked him foolishly where you would be sent because we'd want to come and visit you if we could and he told me why that wouldn't be possible. I picked up on something that he said and pried it out of him though he asked me not to.

He also told me that the girl's name is on the dagger. I wanted to ask you what was on the dagger tattoo before now. Please tell me Joshua, why does the dagger represent her? I don't get it, and now that I know some of her story, I really want to know the rest."

Josh sighed and looked away. "I used to see her sometimes when we were passing through that village. We'd hand out candy to the kids to make their day. She was too little and shy, so I used to walk over to her to hand her a piece, and I'd stay there with her until she'd eaten a lot of it so that nobody could take it away from her. She would lean against my leg for a minute. Her mother used to thank me with her smile."

He spoke slowly and quietly, "She was such a pretty little thing. Always smiling, even before she saw us. I see her almost every night, and I've had a lot of time to think it through.

I'm sure the device was there because they knew that I'd stop. I sentenced those two to death because I wanted a little kid to have a candy and in doing that a few times I showed them a pattern that they could exploit. How could a mother and child deserve that? Who can do that just to fuck up innocent people?"

Kayla laid her head against his chest. She felt the muscles begin to tighten. This would hurt him to say, she knew.

"That morning as we approached, I noticed that I couldn't see anybody on the north side of the village. I was thinking that over as we went through, and then I heard Boosah's voice and turned around. She was running to me smiling, but she was the only kid in sight. All kinds of alarm bells were going off in my head. I turned to shout a warning, and she ran around to face me, then the charge went off

Boosah was ripped up pretty badly. When I picked her up, I could see that there was no hope at all. She opened her eyes and saw me, so I did my best to comfort her." He wanted to weep for the thousandth time, but he didn't.

"The dagger doesn't represent Boosah. She was a little sweetheart, bright and lively like a fairy who had nothing, but she was happy anyway. Now she's just a ghost in my head. I was the only one who'd ever noticed her. She was so small. She always looked for me. She died because of me for a piece of candy." He hung his head.

Kayla looked up at him as her own eyes filled, and suggested that they go into the bedroom and sit on the bed. "I'm shorter than you. If we keep standing, I'll drown first." She took his hand and led the way.

"What happened afterward?" she asked and he looked up for a long moment.

"I -- I'm not really ready to talk about it anymore, Kayla. I'd rather leave it alone. They're in my sleep now. That's as far away as I can push them."

Kayla nodded. "You let me turn my demon loose on you, and it helped me to tell you everything. Maybe I can help you sleep better too. Tell me everything whenever you think that you can. I owe you that, Josh."

"I remember coming back from the outskirts of the village," he said. "I listened, but there was no more firing going on. I couldn't remember when our artillery had stopped. Must have been a long time before then.

There wasn't much left of my shirt, so I tried to take the rest of it off, but I suddenly didn't care. Something hurt on my shoulder. There was a small shard of shrapnel stuck in it, just sitting there. I looked at it and pulled it out so I could get the sleeve off. It must have been there from the beginning.

The skin on my chest stung like hornets had been at it, and I really wanted a cigarette but my hands had started to shake, and my smokes were soaked with blood anyway. Those were the first things that I could remember feeling since the blast. I smelled like a slaughter house, I was covered in blood, piss, shit, and who knows what. I remembered that when I was a kid, I used to catch hell if I played in a puddle. What would my mother think if she could have seen me then?

I pissed against a wall, and walked back to find Jim and my guys. People stared at me; nobody came close to me. I looked down at my rifle. It was as filthy as the rest of me. I don't know why, but I found that satisfying, and I remember smiling at that.

One girl came up to me, but just looked. It was like she wanted to say something, and of course she couldn't. I met her again the next week when she gave me back my beret. I think that she must have had it before, but I guess that I must have looked awful and she lost her nerve or something.

She was Boosah's cousin. Jim came limping up with a couple of medics, but I waved them off, and talked to the other sergeant to find out what had gone on, but I really didn't give a fuck anymore, once I knew that everybody was alright."

He exhaled heavily, and his tears dripped from his nose and chin as he fell silent.

Kayla spoke quietly, "I think Boosah loved you because of your kindness to her. I think you were an angel to her before that day. Was there any sign of their activities around that village later?"

Josh sighed. "No events. We must have gotten all or most of them or they booked for a while. I know a lot of the men were afraid of me personally, not that I'd give a shit. I guess they thought I was a ghost. I don't know about now, they might be back."

She kissed him softly. "I'm sure that your little friend and her mom are in a far better place. Don't carry this, Joshua. They wouldn't want you to. I don't want you to. You don't deserve to feel like you're bad guy in any of this. Tell me about her cousin."

Josh looked up, "We couldn't understand each other, but she wanted me to see Boosah's grave. I was always happy to see her, I still worry about her.

Kayla, do you still want to marry me, now that you know all of this?" He looked down.

"Did Boosah's cousin want to marry you?" she asked.

"Kayla, she was 19 years old."

Kayla sighed with exasperation, but she smiled at him. "Joshua, I adore you, but sometimes you are just so thick...You sure can't think like any woman, that's for sure. Did Boosah's cousin want to marry you?

Do you think that she was attracted to you beyond just gratitude for your concern? Think about her position in that place. Do you think that maybe she saw a warrior who was still human enough to cry? Could it just somehow be vaguely possible that she would have been fiercely proud to have been lucky enough to be your wife in a quiet little daydream?

Do you think that this EVER occurred to her while she was waiting for you to come back so that MAYBE she could look at an angel one more time for a few seconds and hope that he would smile at her again?"

Kayla reached over and grabbed his face so that he was looking at her eyes. "I think you're a rare person these days, which is why she held a hope to marry you, and trust me, handsome, deep down in her young heart and in that place, she did. And those are the same reasons why I want to marry you, plus a whole lot of other ones.

I do want to marry you Joshua,

The answer to all of the above is yes... And now I absolutely HAVE to marry you, because I'm sure that until now, you'd never have strung all those dots together. So if I don't marry you now," she said wanting to get him to feel a bit better, "you'll probably just run right back there and marry her."

She pretended to look annoyed with herself. "Why the heck did I have to tell you all that? I must be stupid or something...Like I need MORE competition. Just please tell me that you didn't compliment her fur or buy her a beer. Yeah, I know it's not allowed there, and that's a small mercy."

Josh chuckled. "I don't think I'd have had to buy her anything, but I didn't have anything to give her father which is the way it works there. Are you trying to cheer me up or something?"

She giggled, "Well just this once, I didn't feel like killing you, so I'd say you're growing on me.

And um, ...by the way...we'll need to talk about what we want, but I need to gently remind you that I'm not 19 anymore, and though I'm looking forward to about a year of being on the pill and all... my clock is ticking. If you decide that you want me to have your babies, I'm open to many, many things, but there's one thing that's absolutely never going to come into question between us, Josh. Just telling you now,..."

"What, Kayla?"

"I'm thinking of a quiet honor as a way for little Boosah to live on." She slid her fingertip thoughtfully along the blade on his tattoo. "I already have at least one of the names picked out for the first girl.

Now go and take a shower. The girls are coming, and I don't want them to think that I don't even care enough about you to at least give you a dusting now and then."