tagHumor & SatireA Romantic Tail Ch. 05

A Romantic Tail Ch. 05


Dear readers,

No Lit rules were violated in the posting of these e-mails. There is lots of laughter, a little romance, perhaps a little love, but no sex, doggie-style or otherwise.

You will find alternating chapters posted by lilredjammies (Littlefoot's pack leader) and MistressJett (Dharma's mom). Each email within a chapter is written by the appropriate human.

Thanks in advance for reading!


Jett n' Jammies

Dharma n' Littlefoot


Date: October 5, 2006 12:05:13 AM

From: DharmaB1tch@liTTerotica.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hi

To: Littlefoot96@liTTerotica.com


I suppose you could call me Dharma, but I must admit that I've spent more than a few moments thinking about what your voice would sound like, calling out Miss Bitch, and I wouldn't mind if you kept reminding me of that. *grin*

I must apologise again, as things have continued on in their crazy manner around here and I just haven't been able to sneak into Dad's office for a while. I think he might be catching on to my clandestine computer activities as well, but I've decided that I just don't care. A girl has to let her fur down once in a while, y'know?

I did get your package... Well, actually, Zeus found it first. I had to wrestle with him for a good half an hour to get it out of his paws, the pig ears smelled so delicious. Afterwards, he even kept trying to hump me. I had to show him, yet again, who's the boss around here. Anyway, I finally got the box from him and opened it up. I was so excited to see that it was from you; what a sweet surprise! I did end up giving Zeus a pig ear, mostly to stop his incessant whining, but the toys are safely buried in a few of my very best hiding spots when I'm not playing with them. How did you know that squeaky newspapers are one of my absolute favourite toys, you devil of a dog?

Around here, we just get fed whenever our bowls are empty. We wrestle and play a lot too, though, so I guess that's why Dad just lets us eat whenever we want. Zeus is a very slow eater, but he's finally starting to learn that he must be aggressive if he actually wants to eat his share. Even after the operation so I don't have pups, I've managed to keep a trim figure and I need all the energy I can get if I'm going to stay in charge here. I'm faster than Zeus, but he's still bigger than me. Anyhow, we don't have to wait for our meals, so it isn't very often that we're left hungry. I imagine that it must be absolute torture for dinner to be late, when you're a brawny dog like yourself.

Dad brings home big bags of food, too; this time around, it's beef and gravy. I don't know where he gets it, but he's pretty big for a human so it wouldn't surprise me if he goes out and hunts for it. I just wonder what happens to the rest of the cow, because he only brings home one or two bags at a time. I guess that will always remain a mystery. I can deal with it, though, if it means I get to be a dog of leisure and don't have to go out hunting on my own. When I get out of the yard, I'd rather just run around the neighbourhood, exploring and playing tag with Zeus. Dad cheats sometimes; he chases us in the car and makes us get in, spoiling our fun. It's not like I can't find my way home when I'm done. Jeez.

Oh no—now I know what you mean by the Collar of Shame! Dad put one of those on me after I had the operation and tried to scratch the crazy, itchy stitches with my teeth. He said it was my punishment because I made the wound worse, and he didn't want to pay for another visit to the veteran. That collar drove me absolutely bonkers for a few days, but only until I figured out how to get it off. Once I did manage to lose the horrid thing, Zeus helped me chew it to pieces so that its evil could not be used against us again. That backfired, because when Zeus had his operation, Dad got a new collar that was bigger and made of thicker plastic. Zeus was all kinds of freaked out, and I tried to help him get it off but he was very much stuck with it until his stitches healed enough that he wouldn't try to chew on them. His experience was far worse than mine, and I've vowed never to lick a wound again—at least, not in front of the humans.

Zeus is a champion whiner, too, when he's really butt hurt about not getting his way. I wonder who would win in a whining competition, my little brother or your big brother? I don't know, but I sure wouldn't want to be a judge!

Thank you for sharing the story with me. It was kind of funny, though I can see how it would be irritating for you. Don't worry, I think you're sweet—you had such a hard week there and still managed to joke about it! That shows strength of character in a dog, you know. :)

As it happens, I don't have a boyfriend. I do see that bitch Zen once in a while, but it's nothing serious. Mostly it's just tension relief, if you know what I mean. I've been thinking about you a lot, and I believe that we've clicked pretty well. There's just one thing that I feel like I need to get out of the way before we go any further; I'm a dominant bitch and always will be, just in case that hasn't been obvious from our conversations.

In fact, I pulled a few strings to send you a little present, and it should arrive soon—I hope that you like studded collars! ;)



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