A Secret Even to Myself Ch. 08

DISCLAIMER: This is purely an experiment to get writing. I do not know where this story will evolve. It is something of a break from the massive series which I am also working on... but more of a forgivable weekly sprint to see where a story will take me.

My goal is to publish every week. It's my challenge.

This is not really a novel, although I do have a plot with an end, but I am approaching it more like a serial.

This is a pure rough draft. I do not have an editor. My goal is to publish an episode at least once a week. Think of it as a live studio soap opera.

This novel will be MESSY and thank you for joining me on this scary journey.

Happy Reading

-Talyis

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A SECRET EVEN TO MYSELF

(C) 2017, Talyis Ellison

Chapter 8

The door bell chimed. Tobias moved for the first time in three hours from his deck chair. He had been reading a book while lazily fishing off the edge of his deck. He walked pass Mahin still diligently holding the bottle against the glass wall with her nose in deep reflection. He only raised a finger of warning for her not to move.

It was Malcolm. Tobias quietly ushered his best friend inside.

"How's it going with her, "Malcolm whispered as glanced over at Mahin while balancing an arm full of scripts.

The sun was setting casting beautiful pink and orange hues into the room, it was beautiful but Malcolm was sure Mahin was not enjoying it.

"She's on punishment," Tobias smirked cockily. He was known for his creativity in punishments as his discipline and training tactics in the community -- and proud of it.

"How long has she been standing there? " Malcolm sideways glanced at Mahin.

She stood like a child with a dunce cap hands at her side nose in the corner. Except, her face was set hard against an empty vodka bottle wedged between her and the glass pane of the patio door. Tobias wanted her vice to hover at her nose in constant sight.

"Three hours -- hardly a days work. Her probation officer will be arriving soon," Tobias filled up a glass of water.

Mahin found a second of relief when Malcolm arrived. She thought Tobias would end her punishment -- nope. This affirmed that she would find no alliances with Tobias' friend against him. No doubt Tobias would let her punishment end before the probation officer arrived.

Was she again in for a reality check? No one cared and no one was on her side.

"I am impressed." Malcolm piped. "Two weeks in and she still hasn't cracked you. Anyways, I've got your scripts from the office. "

"Let's go onto the patio and discuss this. I don't want our conversation to divert her attention away from her reflections. "

"You haven't lost your touch one bit," Malcolm laughed and followed Tobias onto the patio.

Mahin snorted to herself once the men went out onto the patio. She thought she could like Malcolm, but it was obvious he was just as craven as his friend.

Although Tobias was trying to prevent Mahin from eavesdropping on his conversation. He was standing so close to the patio window, Mahin could still make out the conversation. It was a foggy echo against the glass.

Malcolm made himself comfortable sliding into one of the loungers, while Tobias stood above his friends. Mahin rolled her eyes thinking the man was not only a control freak but he made every point to seem higher than others. Tobias didn't sit in the available lounger next to his friend. He just stood with his hands on his hips as if an emergency was imminent and had to jump to action.

Malcolm opened his saddle bag dropping more scripts between his legs on the lounger. He briefly described an action thriller with a big bad guy/good guy chase in the Battery Tunnel, a love story ala Nicholas Sparks and an Oscar-grabber drama that has been circling for some time in a few circles.

"They rather work with you," Malcolm replied after Tobias just shook his head rejecting everything as always. "Well, think about it read this script."

Malcolm giggled and looked over his shoulder trying to place Mahin in the window.

"You could cast you know who?"

Tobias answered in silence finally sitting in a longer and pushing the scripts to the deck floor.

"Are you going to read the scripts?"

"I never said I would? "

"Hey, imagine a comeback with the last one. So man actors are already vying for the lead but the studio is waiting for you and you get carte blanche. Rumor has is you've got the leading lady already," Marcus innuendo.

"What rumors?" Tobias narrowed his eyes at his friend.

"Figure of speech, friend, but Mahin could be your lead and she is predicted to be Hollywood's big bet."

"Fuck no! And...fuck no! She can't act her way out of a jaywalking ticket. She's a horrible actress and a horrible person."

The startling sound of glass smashing and scattering across the floor inside made all of them hold their breaths.

She swore. She couldn't believe she dropped it. She had been standing there for almost 4 hours, but she dropped the bottle. She didn't even realize she was no longer pressing into it until it was too late.

She was stunned. She only could anticipate the angry sounds of Tobias ready to pounce on her like a feral animal. Everything moved quickly. First, a stream of curses from Malcolm and then the blaring grey eyes of Tobias and finally the sharp pain of her pinched her skin in a tight grab. She didn't even hear the door bell ring.

"Malcolm can you get that. It's probably her probation officer. " Tobias ordered before he swooped Mahin into his arms and gently placed her on the sofa. "Welcome officer, please have a seat,"

Tobias continued, "She just broke a bottle of vodka and I am going to do some first aid to take the shards out of her feet. Then she gratefully is all yours."

Mahin senses snapped into place and she began to realize everything that had transpired over the last two minutes. The patio doors opening and the men's expression, the door bell chiming and his arms surrounding her. His expression of complete surprise. Something else. Tobias' face was colored with something else. She just couldn't pinpoint because her feet began to throb.

"Malcolm, patio cubby. You know where my first aid kit is." Tobias instructed and knelt down at her feet. It was such a different perspective of Tobias from five or ten minutes before -- the dominating friend looking down on his friend's plea over a bunch of pointless film scripts. Pointless because now she saw the blood, her feet were painted red and it was dripping everywhere. All over his white floors, but he didn't seem to care.

Malcolm brought the kit to Tobias' side and again she caught the expression, guilt, no, fear?

Possibly... but no.

Her attention was then quickly warped into the instruments in his hands at her bleeding feet.

Tobias knew two types of women in his life that made him excited and scared him within the same heartbeat. Women who loved pain. They welcomed it, egged him on to deliver more pain. They loved it even when it brought tears to their eyes and made their bodies convulse even though they were trying to persevere through it with sheer willpower. He knew these women and welcomed them. He loved the challenge they presented and was greedy for their red carpet welcome for him to deliver pain to them as a badge of honor.

The second time of woman he encountered were women who not only hated pain, they avoided it at all costs. They cried over the littlest thing. When the discovered he was a sadist, this type of women were smart to avoid him. Even the women, who experienced the slightest pain yet cried like bloody hound, perplexed him. He hated when women cried. He rather a noble whimper than wailing and shuddering. It grated his ears like a hurt puppy dog makes one's ears cringe.

A crying woman made him feel uncertain. He never made women cry like this. Never inflicted this kind of pain. He'd muster the willpower to find clarity in pain was not present in these babbling women. The more they cried the more he wished he had avoided the entire female sex. They seemed to jump to conclusions of great life-threatening disaster when they experience the slightest pain.

As he removed the first large shard of the broken vodka bottle from Mahin's foot. He missed his wife. Angelica was the first type of woman, she endured beautifully pain. Mahin was crying even before his gentle handling of her foot and then wailed like a banshee once his tweezers a grasp on the glass jutting from the skin.

Mahin didn't like pain and that was obvious. It helped him finally temper his lust for her as she continued to chew the scenery with her tears. Perhaps to gain favor with her probation worker. But he couldn't help but be....

Responsible.

That was the expression.

Mahin pinpointed Tobias focused face. He had the look of responsibility. Like, he was going to take care of her. He was responsible for her feet, her well-being. She shuddered as he carefully took another shard out. He was responsible and responsive to her. She never felt so close to the man she had been living with for almost two weeks until this moment.

"Maybe you should take her to the doctor. Don't you need a tetanus shot for something like that?" her probation officer chimed in as he looked over Tobias' shoulder. Tobias continued to administer hospital grade emergency care to her feet.

"No!" Mahin's cried even more desperately than when she had the glass removed. This was an honest reaction. "I don't want a shot. Please, anything. I'll do anything."

"Relax Mahin. I don't think it's necessary. Just stay calm," Tobias tapped her thigh. He didn't like this one bit. He didn't know what to do with hysteria, and she was becoming hysterical.

"Please, I don't like needles. Please."

"I'm almost done. Relax! Now." Tobias said with caring authority. Finally. She calmed down. It was quiet whimpers.

He continued to carefully look at her foot for any remaining shards of glass. She was very lucky it was all superficial cuts. He tenderly wrapped a soft cotton wrap around her feet.

"You'll be fine." Tobias patted Mahin's knee tenderly causing her to hiccup. Her whimpers were not ending because curiosity had finally shifted her attention. "She's all yours."

"Should I take her in -- the empty bottle of vodka?"

"I didn't drink it! He locks his liquors and wines in a cabinet anyways. I didn't drink it. He emptied it and gave it to me to think about my ...who knows. I didn't drink it! I swear. I didn't." Mahin pleaded rapidly.

The probation officer shook his head, having heard the story before -- no doubt.

"She is telling the truth. She didn't drink anything." Tobias said with a stinger.

"Fine." The officer replied and then pulled out her clipboard with a list of items to check off during this visit. "Please sign here."

Tobias signed the sheet and then the officer gave a side glance before leaving.

"How do your feet feel?" Tobias finally asked.

Mahin didn't answer, she just gritted her teeth and look down at her feet. She sat silently for a while before testing her foot to the floor. A sharp throb pulsed up her leg and she sat back into the fluffy couch.

"Do you want help to your room?" Malcolm asked and Mahin nodded. "I supposed, you don't have any pain killer you can give her to take the edge off?"

"She's not..." Tobias started but looked off into nothing a bit shocked.

"Never mind. I'll pick up a Motrin for her later. Come on sweetie." Malcolm scooped Mahin into his arms and took her to his room.

Once Mahin was comfortably deposited in her room, Malcolm returned to grab his keys.

"What the fuck man. You are out of control. You are fucking out of control. You can't DM this weekend. Your responsibility is to keep her safe."

"I know."

"You lost it. You were careless."

"I know, man." Tobias shook his head.

"You let your rage, your anger, your hate, your pain. It's clouded your judgment. Mahin didn't kill Angelica. Your job is to keep her safe. Dont' fuck yourself even more by fucking her. I love you too much man. You need to get your act together."

"I know man."

"I loved Angelica, too much to let you fuck yourself, man." Malcolm fiercely grabbed Tobias by his collar and pulled his best bred into a hug as Tobias cried. "You have to apologize to her."

Tobias squeezed his eyes shut. That was the last thing he wanted to do. He was wrong. He was careless. But he still couldn't see himself apologizing to someone who he saw so responsible for doing such destruction.

"Now, Tobias."

Tobias knew he had to man up. He softly padded to her room and knocked on her door. Mahin was laying on the bed with her back to the door. Her feet we on pillow elevated above her heart to get the throbbing to slightly stopped. She had the lights turned out.

"Mahin?"

"Tobias."

"Hi, sorry. I should have kept I better eye on you during your punishment." Tobias said into the dark.

"I know you don't like me. I'm not asking you to like me. Don't hurt me again."

"I promise, I won't. You have my word."

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Dear Readers,

So, what do you think should be their moment were the finally get together?

Thank you for your thoughtful words of encouragement and advice. I read each other them your comments. I promise Tobias will not be a total tool for very much longer.

This is truly a challenge and it's getting harder week over week. I have been mostly working with an older manuscript and now working on the middle.

I also have a surprise coming up either next week or the following week.

I'd love to hear what ideas you have for Mahin and Tobias to actually see each other eye-to-eye.

Cheers and Happy Reading,

Talyis

PS Wanderinggipsy: Try "A Wider Sky" it's pretty earthly grounded. It just has alien humanoids. Talons is super dark.