A Secret LovebyContrasting©
I knew she had a secret, the moment I first saw her. She walked through the crowd as I leaned on the light pole, waiting for the 'walk' light to appear and then she turned, mid-stride and looked over her shoulder and I saw it. Her past. Like a specter in her eyes, behind her, pursuing her.
I stepped off the curb despite the traffic and the "Don't Walk" light and cars braked to keep from hitting me. I crossed the street and followed her. I had just left my attorney's office and signed the end of my present life. Everything I had known was now gone. I gave away my life to be rid of it. The divorce papers I had just signed were not merely to be rid of the woman I had married six years before, but to be rid of the life I had lived for those six years.
I had leaned on that light pole as people passed for several minutes, several lights, several stops and several goes of traffic, waiting. I was waiting for direction, for inspiration for something to tell me what direction to go, not on the street, but in life. Then she caught the eye of my soul. I saw her honey blond hair, shoulder length and the open brilliant blue wool coat over the shimmering silver blouse. Then she had looked, over her left shoulder as she passed before me and I saw the secret; not what it was, nothing like that, but merely that she had one. And I went after her.
For eight, ten, twelve blocks I followed her and she continually looked over her shoulder but never seemed to notice I was following her. Finally she dodged into an eatery, nearly filled with people and I dug the hundred out of my pocket as I entered behind her. She was speaking to the maitre 'd and I lay a hand on her shoulder and leaned past her, the hundred in my hand, rolled and sticking up like a pen.
"I have reservations I am sure for the lady and I." I said. The man looked up at me, nodded.
"Of course, Mr. . . .?"
"Belnieous. Mac Belnieous." I wanted her to know my name.
"Follow me." The man said, the hundred blinked out of sight.
I took the lady's arm and pulled her with me. She did not resist but came along, allowing me to steer her to the table, seat her with her back to the door and I sat on the bench seat facing her.
She did not speak but thanked the waiter. We ordered appetizers and then entrees. I frankly do not recall what it was. We had salad and a glass of white wine each. She allowed me to order for us both. I waited. She waited. I did not look at her, not directly but watched the door, watching for someone scanning faces, looking for her. I waited for her to look over her shoulder but she did not. She ate in silence. The silence comforted me. My emptiness matched it. Her secret echoed it. We shared it and the sharing felt intimate, luscious and a little dangerous. The silence lasted and the fact neither of us spoke did not seem to concern her and it did not concern me. I was empty and had nothing to say. For perhaps the first time in my adult life I had no words, nothing of interest, nothing pressing, nothing to say, nothing. Silence, but not peace.
The waiter brought the check and I paid, again with cash. This time she looked me in the eyes, the first time our gazes had actually met. I rose and she rose. I touched her elbow, took hold of it. Her skin was cool and my fingers tingled where we touched. Together we walked to the door and out into the street. Still no words.
That was when the burning started, the first awareness in me, the lust and the desire to have her immediately and quickly for my pleasure and independent of hers. I saw the marquee of a hotel and steered her towards it. She moved easily, almost as though she were leading me. I opened the door for her and placed a hand on her back, sliding slowly down to her ass as she passed. She did not respond. At the desk, I waited for the clerk to acknowledge us. I released her elbow but she did not move. She did not look at me. She waited, outwardly calm save for the trembling of her hand on the counter. She covered it with the other hand.
The clerk arrived and I held up a single finger and laid the hundred dollar bill on the counter. The man looked at it and I lay down another. He laid a key on the desk and I glanced at the number. 819. He directed us to the lift and when it arrived we mounted it. The door closed but I did not touch the button.
After a moment, she extended her right hand and with her index finger pressed '8' on the display. The elevator moved. Such a small gesture of assent and I shuddered with anticipation. Still silence. I breathed and for the first time caught the faint smell of her perfume mixed with something contrasting, and I wondered. Then I knew, her arousal, I imagined I could smell her and I responded.
The elevator door opened and we walked together down the corridor towards the room, not touching. I opened the door and stepped back. She slipped past me, pressing the point of her hip against me as she passed. She must have felt my desire fully aroused by her aroma, her presence and the sign of acquiescence her finger meeting '8' had signaled.
The door closed behind us and I lifted the blue coat back off her shoulders. I dropped it on the floor. She did not move but I noted a slight tremor in her shoulders. Her dress, a simple thing with lace trim, silver with some scarlet accents, buttoned up the back. I began to undo the buttons, one at a time. My hands trembled. She felt it and when the dress was loose to the middle of her back, she turned beneath my hands and let it fall forward, revealing her breasts. She wore no bra. Her arms dropped to her side and the dress fell away from her. She stood still, then, trembling as though from the cold for the room was indeed chilly. Her skin puckered and her nipples bunched. I longed to touch them and I did, lightly with a finger, tracing lightly around the nipple. She closed her eyes and then opened them and looked at me.
Her eyes were blue, crystal blue and brilliant but they had no sparkle, but they blazed.
"Kiss me." She whispered, drawing out the esses of 'kiss' like a hiss but in her voice it sound like a prayer.
I leaned forward slightly and extended my mouth to her and brushed my lips against hers. She stood before me in nothing but her thong. I kissed her lightly. She did not move, did not hesitate to return the kiss but neither of us opened our mouths, as though the old world did not exist. We were transported, chaste but eager to surrender it for what came next. I kissed her again and then bent her backwards and put my lips to a breast. She sighed as my hot breath enveloped the nipple and I sucked the delicate thing into my mouth. I released it, then her.
"On the bed," I said.
She turned from me and walked into the room. She stripped down the thong and turned to show me her nudity. I regarded her in the dim light. The chill touched her and she folded her arms across her breasts. She had a secret but I knew that.
"It is cold in here."
I slipped my own coat onto the floor, letting it flow off of me like a cape. She watched. I took off my tie. I had dressed to sign the divorce papers in the suit I wore to my father's funeral. I unbuttoned the white shirt and dropped it to the floor.
"Wife beater." She said, eying my undershirt of that same name.
"She deserved it." I responded and pulled the tank top undershirt over my head, mussing my black hair. I smoothed it with my hand and she smiled, a full, pleasurable smile. Her teeth were perfect.
"Take me." She said. "I want you in me."
I unbuckled my pants and let them fall, showing my own plaid, green boxers covering my erection. I walked towards her and stopped within reach. She knelt, put her hands to my waist and drew my boxers down to my ankles, put a hand on my cock and touched the end with her lips. Her mouth opened and she sank her mouth completely over me, thrusting me deep into her throat. I shuddered, put a hand lightly on the back of her head, touching her but seeking no control over her motions. She bobbed her head a time or two and I was erupting, bubbling forth into her throat and mouth. She sucked at me, drinking and swallowing, all the while moaning and cooing as though about to break out into song. When I finished, she got to her feet and went to kiss me, a pearl of my own liquid at the corner of her lips.
I drew back. She hesitated, then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand like a slattern after draining a tankard of ail. "Not kissing me now?" She said. "I'll wash." She moved past me to the bathroom. I did not move. I heard the water come on. She drank, gargled and spat. And again. The water turned off, then silence, then she gargled and spat again. And again. I felt guilty.
I felt her behind me. Her hand slithered past my hips, across my belly bulge and up to my chest which she cupped. "I found mouth wash. Kiss me now?"
"I will fuck you now." I said softly.
Her hand descended to my cock and she found me erect again.
"I think you will, yes." She said.
She released me and crawled onto the bed, crouching on her knees for a moment before she looked back at me. "How?" She asked. Her eyes were slits but her lips open, quivering.
I did not answer but put my knee on the bed beside her and pushed her flat then rolled her to her back. She opened her legs. I moved between them and ran a hand up and down each leg. She watched me. I put a finger to her sex and waited for her eyes to close. Feeling her until her eyes reacted, not closing but widening.
"I want you in me." She said, this time in what I took to be a nearly normal voice. Not a demand or a command or a plea but a flat, inflectionless statement.
My hands moved to her knees, on the outside of her legs. I lifted them to my shoulders and move forwards. Her hands found my cock and as I leaned into her, planted it like a flag at the entrance to her cunt. I felt her hunch up at me and I was inside her. I pressed forward and encountered the resistance of her sphincter. Her eyes closed.
"Fuck me." She said softly.
I pressed harder and harder till she relaxed and I rammed home, deep into her body. The pleasure of it blinded me and I closed my eyes. I took hold of her shoulders around her legs, putting her ankles next to my jaw and I fucked her, gently at first and then harder and more insistently. She shuddered and her head turned to one side, to my left. I was watching her now, through the haze of my pleasure at actually being in her body, at actually having her on her back before me with her legs spread around me. I stopped moving and her eyes opened.
She did not speak. I let her legs fall to the bed. I lay down on her, putting my lips close to her ear. "I know your secret." I said, not moving. "You are mine now."
"Yes." She immediately responded. "I am yours now."
"When I am finished with you." I said.
"I will be yours then." She finished for me.
I pressed into her again and moved over her. She turned her head and I took her face in my hands, balancing on my elbows and tilted her head and kissed her hard, pressing my tongue deep into her mouth till I thought she would gag but she continued to suck at me. Her lips worked with mine and we seemed to be speaking language to each other which had not syllables or sound.
Her hands found my shoulders and they pulled at me, moving lower to tug a time or two at my lower back before resting on my buttocks. They pulled at my ass while thrusting up at me, hunching her hips at me as if to swallow me twice. I continued to thrust into her and she accepted me, her legs splayed wide, unresisting, open, inviting. I felt and smelled her wetness.
I picked up speed and rose above her on my arms. She lifted her head and looked down her body to where we were joined. Then she flipped her head back to the bed and arched her body up at me and whimpered, biting her lower lip. She shook and shimmied. Her legs wrapped around me and she pulled my face to hers with her hands and we kissed. I quit moving my hips and slowly sank into her till my full weight rested on her pubic bone and my elbows. She tightened her legs around me, pressing me deeper into her body with her heels.
"God but I love your cock in me." She said in a gasping voice. "Fuck me." Her breathless voice galvanized me.
We increased rhythm and continued to chase the wind till finally she stiffened under me and winced, cried out some inchoate chant of pleasure which ended with 'oh yes!" but with many syllables. I continued to thrust into her even after she went still. After a few moments she turned her lulled head back to me and opened her eyes. What I saw there started my own orgasm and I missed whatever happened next. I lost all strength in my arms and collapsed beside her. She pressed her cheek against mine and we lay there for a few moments, till I caught my breath.
I struggled to regain control of my weight but she pulled me tight against her, full against her sweating body. "Fuck me again." She said. I did. I lost nothing but became numb and pounded into her till she came again. I rolled over onto my back, still hard but wilting. We lay there, side by side for a while, letting the sweat dry in the chill of the room.
I think I must have dozed because the next thing I knew she was standing beside the bed, a towel wrapped around her body, hair wet.
"You were asleep. You snore." She said, looking down at me.
I wondered where I was and if I remember correctly and what I should take seriously what vows we had exchanged in the throes of such passion. To test this brave new world I put out a hand and took hold of a corner of the towel and tugged at it just a bit, not enough to dislodge it but enough to loosen it. She did not move but kept her eyes on mine. Slowly, she lifted her hands from her sides and, extending her left, slipped a ring onto her finger. She watched with her calm eyes, a half smile on her lips. Water beaded on the skin above the towel wrapped around her breasts.
I pulled the towel completely loose then, revealing her brown body, not tanned but a soft brown which blended with her honey hair which, wet, appeared dark, laying lank on her spare shoulders. I wanted to speak but had no words. Nothing had made sense to me for years. I had been speaking words as though from a bad script written by someone beyond my body who had access to my vocal chords, but had no access to my heart. My heart was still silent.
For the first time I studied her body and she stood still and let me, the huge diamond glinting in the half light of the afternoon room. I turned on my side, braced my head with one hand and ran the other up her leg to her waist. Then up to her breast. I tweaked a nipple. She did not respond but stood still as I touched her. I ran a hand down to her crotch and teased a finger through the hair there, a silky blond, exactly the color of the hair on her head. I found her clit and touched her and she did react then, closing her eyes for a moment then opening them again but slitted, narrowed. I thrust a finger deeper into her wetness, curling it inside of her and she trembled a bit then. I moved it around and then pulled it out, wiping it on the bed cover.
"Take me in your mouth." I said, rolling onto my back.
She got on her knees beside the bed, leaned over me and then with both hands directed my cock to her lips. She sucked at me softly for a minute or two then began to bob her head over me, taking me ever deeper into her mouth. My cock responded and soon I was utterly erect. She took me completely into her mouth and held me there for a moment and then lifted her head and stood. She put one knee onto the bed and swung the other over me and positioned herself astride me.
"I want to ride you." She said. "I want to fuck you, this time."
She took my cock in one hand and then carefully lowered her body on to me. Slowly and carefully, she sank down till we were mated together like a bolt and a washer. She began to move. Leaning forward, she put a hand on each shoulder and began to rock, moving her clit against my pubic bone, over and over again. Her head wagged back and forth, eyes closed, using a steady tempo.
Then she stopped. She sat back, pressing my cock more deeply into her body. She peered down at me, opening her eyes. "You were not sure if I would still be yours, were you?" She asked.
"Are you?" I responded.
She stared at me for a moment. "If you want me, I am yours. I will do anything you tell me to do. You can fuck me any way you like, any time you like, any place you like. You can give me to your friends. Share me with your sister. Sell me to your boss. I do not care. I am yours. Fuck me when you wish. But I am completely and utterly yours. Until you say otherwise. Do you understand?"
I shook my head. "I understand nothing."
Then I pulled her down and kissed her hard, struggled for a moment to turn further and put her on her back and then I fucked her till all signs of the shower were gone. Even her hair had dried and was laying about her head as I came into her body. I collapsed and she shuddered.
"Fuck me again." She said.
"No." I muttered. "Can't."
She sighed and I dozed. When I woke she was gone. I had not asked her name. Her secrets were safe with me.