A Seedy Halloween

The double tongues on my cock made me rock hard in a second. Debbie doffed her robe and mounted me. She was bouncing up and down on my cock like she was in a rodeo. She was also making those “Yee-Ha” rodeo noises at the top of her lungs and shaking her tits. The sacred malt beverage had taken over a few brain cells.

Beth was at a loss to do, so Debbie suggested she sit on my face so I could eat her pussy. I had never eaten a pussy before, even Terry’s. I wasn’t sure what to do. I figured the best thing for me to do was to try to fuck it with my tongue, as if my tongue was a dick. Beth slipped off her robe. I loved her pert firm titties. I could look at them all day. She spread her legs open and sat on my face, looking at her sister Debbie. Her pussy had the fresh smell of Jean Nate Cologne that Terry and I got her last Christmas. I stuck my tongue upward into her snatch, although I was more interested in simply looking at the thing than eating it. I had never seen a pussy this close before, or for that matter an ass.

I was somewhat eating out my girlfriend’s sister, about the best a kid could do who never heard of a clitoris. In fact when Beth’s clit popped out it scared the fuck out of me, I thought she had grown a dick, I had to pause for a moment. I made careful movements of my tongue to avoid touching that thing; it might have gotten bigger on me.

I was good at feeling tits and I had four of them at arm’s reach. Beth’s tits were on the small side, but firm. They had a very high youth appeal to them. Debbie’s tits on the other hand (literally) were slightly larger, but lacked firmness. They looked great when she had them shaking in a bra. However, they lacked charm once let loose to roam freely about the forest.

I wanted to fuck Beth, not Debbie so I suggested they swap places. When Beth placed her wet tight pussy on my dick, I nearly came before she could get mounted properly. Debbie was not as pleasant smelling or tasting as Beth. However, she knew I couldn’t eat pussy worth a lick. She turned herself around still straddling my face. She pulled her cunt hairs back and opened up her lips and pointed to her clit. “See this thing?”

I gave a quick “ah ha” as she pointed to some grotesque female dick located inside the vagina. What a cruel trick the gods were playing on me. Not one but two deformed women with small dicks in them.

She said, “You are supposed to lick that - move your tongue rapidly across it.”

I was horrified but obeyed. I could have pulled rank on her; after all I was the Lord of Something or other. As I licked her clit as she commanded, I noticed Debbie getting wetter and smellier. In fact there was a lot of liquid coming out of her. It wasn’t urine, but it didn’t taste that great either. I didn’t know if I was supposed to eat this stuff, or would it be another faux pas on my part to spit it out. I had enough people pissed at me.

I closed my eyes, and just kept licking her dick, (I don’t care what she called it, and I knew Terry wouldn’t have something like that in her pussy.) and tried not to drown. I could still feel Beth on me as she was taking long slow strokes, enjoying my dick. The excitement level was building. I increased my pelvic movements building to a climax.. I think Beth faked her level of excitement in order to irk Terry. I wasn’t sure what the fuck dick lady was doing on my face, but it was rank.

Beth moved her ass with my thrusts. I had a hold of Debbie’s tits when I finally came in Terry’s sister. Beth and Debbie got off of me as I sat up. There was still cum on my dick, which Debbie grabbed and licked clean. What the fuck’s the matter with her? I thought. Didn’t she eat with the rest of us?

We made it back to the table area. The High Priest said my reign was almost over, that there was just one last ritual. They brought out a wooden chair, which acted as a throne for me to sit upon. I felt honored. The men gathered around, and before I knew what was happening I was gagged and bound to the chair. I could hear the icy Cold Finger of death point at me and say, “I don’t expect you to talk. No Mr. Bound I expect you to die.”

The High Priestess read another passage:

“Accept our offering oh Dark One, We thank you for the harvest, Purify us with the fire of life We give you our Lord.”

I didn’t like this part too much. I struggled as best as I could, but the ropes were too tight. I espied a couple of women holding on to Terra’s arms as the men carried the chair to a small deserted wooden shack.

I kept up my struggle until I got a splinter. Oh great, now I would have to sleep on my side for a few days. Mom would be pissed. I had promised her I would never die trapped inside a Thomas Tryon novel.

They placed the chair in the center of the room and walked out. Then the witches set the door on fire. The women were outside chanting again. Damn it! My last moment on earth and I have to spend it on listening to women talk to a minor fire god. Hey Vulcan was a fire god! Live long and prosper…ya that’s my motto, yes sir, live and let live, - that’s me.

Well I didn’t fucking die, or for that matter get my hair singed. The High Priest, the guy whose wife I fucked, came in from the back wall (it had a couple of large holes in it) and cut me loose. We slipped out the back where no one could see us.

He informed me that it was never their intention to kill me. However, a human sacrifice was part of the ritual, and this mock death is what they did every year.

I volunteered to be the guy to fuck all women next year too, if they needed one. I did see a few babes I wanted to bang and I promised to leave his wife alone this time.

The High Priest chuckled at my offer, but this would not be possible as I was dead to the community. My rock or the one I stood by at the beginning of the ceremony was being turned over as we spoke. I could no longer be associated with this coven.

He led me back to the clearing where the cars were still parked and gave me a good-bye hug. I felt a little awkward- two guys in see through hospital robes hugging in the woods, while I was trying to work a splinter out of my ass.

The girls were waiting by the car. They had already changed into their regular clothes and had my other clothes in their hands. I quickly changed clothes and tossed my special robe into the tailgate of old number 43. Terry gave me a big hug and a kiss and thanked me for coming along with her and not “causing any kind of scene.” Yes, those were her exact fucking words.I would have to choose my next witticism wisely.

We drove home that night, even though it was very late. I switched on the radio. The Raspberries were blasting away their hit song, “I Wanna be With You”. Spirits were running high as we sang along to the radio with modified lyrics:

“Baby oh, I wanna be with you, So bad, yeah and your sister too.”

Eric Carmen-eat your heart out.

I figured Terry would be a great catch- a woman who let’s me fuck her sisters on the holidays, and she had three more sisters up and coming. We eloped two days later. And as you could have guessed, I never had sex with any of her sisters again, although Beth would occasionally flash her tits at me when we would visit her folks, but only if she knew Terry was looking too; anything to piss her sister off. And I had to pretend I didn’t like it.

So what did we learn here today? Sex between two people is a wonderful, beautiful thing- with three it's fantastic.

This chapter is the first in a series of episodes describing the sexual autobiography of NaughtyMike. Should you desire to continue the saga, chronologically the rest would go: 1) Terry Takes on the Navy, 2) Mike Returns Home 3) Nancy the Drama Teacher, 4) Anita Biggerstaff, 5) On The Block chapters 1-12 (you figure the order) 6) Three for Tammy and 7) The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down. Should you make it through all these adventures, I would suggest you then take the quiz in my reader’s guide which explains all the puns you might have missed. “A Seedy Halloween” and “Anita Biggerstaff” are not included in the quiz.

Don’t forget to vote for some fucking lame Goth vampire Finkelstein shit kid tripe for best Halloween story.

NaughtyMike Family recipe for Pumpkin seeds.

Separate the seeds from all the pumpkin guts. Wash in a colander to remove more guts. Place in a pan with 1 to 2 inch sides. Dry out for out about 15 minutes in oven at about 200 degrees. Crank up the heat between 300 and 350 degrees. Add butter- real fucking butter, not margarine. Toss at least a stick or two in there, about one stick per pumpkin. The butter should melt as to be sufficient enough for the seeds to float freely. Don’t forget to add an unhealthy amount of salt. Check on the seeds from time to time. I normally will toss in another half stick of butter in about 15 minutes of bake time and add some more salt. Have your girlfriend blow you while watching Debbie Does Dallas. Check on seeds again. Normally 45 minutes of total bake time will do, although I have gone longer because the bitch wasn’t concentrating. Seeds should be dark brown around the edges, crispy and most of the butter boiled off. Add more salt. I like to eat them (shell and all) while the butter on them is still hot. After eating all the seeds from 2 pumpkins prepared in this manner-if done properly, you should have trouble breathing, and your left side will feel a bit numb. Don’t panic, these are typical signs, they normally pass.