A Set of Calamitous Occurrences Ch. 01

Based on Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

My name is Gina Gilson. It is my singular duty to decipher and record the sad, unlucky story of Ellen Hall. I am sorry to disappoint but there is no entertainment to be found in this chronicle. Her story is one containing many horrible turns and traumatic events, as such, I recommend you stop reading it now, spend your time finding a happier story to enjoy.

Ellen Hall's calamitous endeavors do not begin at her birth, quit the opposite, she had a rather delightful childhood filled with loving, caring parents. They don't begin at the age of 15 when her parents passed away, leaving her their house, money and a hole in her heart that her girlfriend filled with time. No, after many years trying to pinpoint the beginning of our story I can tell you it all began many years ago. It was a sunny day when Ellen decided to spend it at the beach. Ellen was an eighteen-year-old woman at the point in time with a high lifestyle, she's an intelligent person, well versed in books and the occasional video game. She is 5 feet 6 inches tall, her curvy frame compliments her large breasts, one may say Ellen Hall is 'easy on the eyes', a term that hereby means attractive and inviting.

Ellen was happy to find the beach was empty upon her arrival. She took off her dress, revealing her rather large rack, stored inside a pink bra and a matching bottom part. Tossing her dress on the ground she grabbed a towel and arranged it on the sand so she could lay on it.

Ellen rested on the sand with her eyes closed, she didn't notice the girlish figure approaching until her shadow blocked the sun. "Please move, you're ruining my tan." Ellen requested politely. The figure stayed in the same place, forcing Ellen to open her eyes. Before her stood a woman, she had a round face and blonde hair framing a pair of green eyes. Her skinny pale body made Ellen think she should join her and sunbath for a while. The girl was Ellen's girlfriend Shirley. "Why are you blocking my sun, Shirley? What are you doing here?"

Shirley blinked a few times, then spoke "Hi Ellen, I came here to give you very bad news, this is so going to ruin your day." As you can see, even though Shirley was Ellen's girlfriend she wasn't the sharpest pencil in the drawer, a phrase which hereby means not very emotionally intelligent.

"What is it?" Ellen wondered, her voice sounding discontent towards Shirley's approach.

"Your house burned down in a mysterious fire, I have no idea how it happened and was in no way near the place." Shirley said quickly. You, dear reader, are one of the sharper pencils in said drawer, as such are expected to understand the nature of this "mysterious" fire. You can understand from Shirley's words that she is clearly lying and most likely lit the match that started the fire with her own hands. You are also expected to understand that while it is my duty to tell Ellen's story, you have no such obligation and should close this web page, clean your browser's history and forget you ever read this story.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Ellen said, the girl was on the verge of tears, Shirley nodding her head no flung Ellen over the edge as she started crying. "What am I going to do? Where am I going to stay?" She whispered with a broken voice.

Shirley looked at the crying girl before here and decided to help, "Don't cry Ellen, you can't live with me until things get better."

Ellen looked into Shirley's eyes and smiled deeply, "I love you Shirley, it's so nice of you to invite me to stay with you, but you said can't and meant to say can, right?"

Shirley looked back at Ellen with an empty look. Ellen couldn't help but wonder, looking into those eyes, if anybody was home. "No Ellen, I said what I meant, you CAN NOT stay in my house," those words sent Ellen crying again but Shirley went on, "but you can stay in my girlfriend's house."

Ellen had bad days in her life but she felt like Shirley was doing her best to make this her worst day ever, "Shirley you moron!" she yelled between sobs, "I'm your girlfriend! I can stay in my house!"

Shirley blinked again, baffled by Ellen's response, "I have other girlfriends Ellen, you're not my only one!"

This time it was Ellen's turn to be shocked, "what do you mean? You have more than one girlfriend? Are you intimate with other girls?" Shirley kept saying yes, it became abundantly clear she had no understanding of the concept of monogamy.

"You can stay with her, she'll like you, I'll send you the address." Without even waiting for an answer Shirley walked into her car and drove off.

Ellen knew beggars can't be choosers and according to latest news she was a beggar. She packed her towel and boarded a bus to the address Shirley sent her.

The trip was full of fearful thoughts, as Ellen stood at the front door of a big old house carrying the label "Dean," she couldn't help but think she was making a mistake. Some call it a hunch, others, a gut feeling, but I can tell you Ellen had no hunch or any gastral sensation. In this case Ellen was simply thinking the right things. This really is the point where things take a turn for the worst. This is your last chance to look away, I implore you, there's no need for you to go on reading as Ellen's story continues.

If you insist on reading I can tell you that when Ellen knocked on the door she found it creaked open, "Hello? Miss. Dean?" she yelled into the neglected living room, no answer came back. Ellen took a few steps in asking again, "My name is Ellen, Shirley sent me here."

"Come upstairs," a voice came from above, Ellen felt a shiver travel up her neck as she noticed the tone. She located the staircase and ascended it. She saw a woman's shadow on the wall in a room at the end of the staircase, she walked to the room.

The first thing that caught Ellen's eyes in the woman before her was the blue hair and pink eyes. She had a fit body complimenting a pair of breasts the size of Ellen's. She was also naked, revealing a pair of pink nipples and of all things a Giant cock whose head touched the bottom of her breasts. "A... are you Joan Dean?" The question escaped Ellen's mouth.

"The new pussy," The woman said, "my name is Joan Dean." To this day I feel tears rushing to my eye's as I recall Joan Dean, this vile thing strikes fear in many hearts. Now in order to understand what Joan Dean really is you must first understand the word Futanari, a term which hereby means a person with both male and female genitalia. Now that you understand what a Futanari is, you need to simply understand the words vile, evil and egomaniac to understand what Joan Dean is.

Before Ellen could understand what Joan said another voice sounded behind her back, "Hi Ellen and Joan, we can start." It was Shirley. "just close the door behind you." Joan said.

If only Shirley was a bit smarter, if only Joan lived in a different house, if only things would have gone differently. Then Ellen's story could have gone better, it could have a happy ending. I am sad to inform you that from here things only go downhill for Ellen for a long time.

As Shirley closed the door Ellen spoke "why are you not dressed Joan? Shirley, why did you think I can live here?" Shirley had the same blank glare on her face. "We are here to have sex with Joan." She said as she undressed walking towards her. Joan's cock started to leak a clear fluid in excessive amounts when she saw Shirley's body.

Ellen felt paralyzed as she saw Joan pick a cooperating Shirley, placing her at the tip of her cock. Abruptly she pulled Shirley down, spearing the girl on her cock. Shirley screamed while Ellen couldn't decide if it was pain or pleasure causing her to act. The outline of the cock was clearly visible on her girlfriend's belly.

"Please stop," Ellen pleaded, hoping to save her dimwitted friend.

"After I'm done with her I'm coming after your juicy pussy." Joan said, giving Ellen a wink and let out a primal scream, the loud sound of fluids moving could clearly be heard.

I saw Joan's sexual victims and I can assure you, it is not an easy sight. Most of them survive the ordeal but it is an unpleasant endeavor none the less. Ellen could testify for me if you ever had a chance to ask to her, she saw with her own eyes the carnal sight. In seconds her once thin friend's belly exploded in size and smashed against the floor, Ellen could no longer see Joan and Shirley, only the ever-growing orb that was once Shirley's belly. Seeing this Ellen acted on pure instinct, running for her life out the door.