A Sexy GuidebySteelAndSilk©
While I was pondering a bit about another how-to, I stumbled onto the idea of one about how women could be sexy (or sexier) toward men, and also, avoid being unsexy. Now, as I've stated in some of my other articles, I have no business telling men how to be sexy toward women. I'll leave that to a woman, seeing as she would know a hell of a lot more than I would.
There are the obvious things, of course, for both sexes. Being in decent shape, having a good attitude toward each other (though some women do go for the douchebags, a concept I'll never understand), etc, are all great things. However, not every guy is going to be able to get all ripped out, and not every woman has time to tone her abs or get supermodel hot. Let me share a secret with you ladies...you don't have to in order to be sexy. But, it is good to take care of yourself, just as you would want your man to.
Now, understand that when I "speak for men" we're talking about your run-of-the-mill normal guy. Sure, there are guys who think you dressing in a skin-tight latex full body suit with weird goggles for your eyes and a zipper on the mouth while you spank his ass with a spiked paddle is sexy. I'm not remotely experienced with that, so I'm going to leave that be. Nor am I getting into the men who supposedly love obese women. No experience there either.
So what do you think of when you think sexy, girls? Maybe waiting for your husband to come home, candles lit and music playing, and he finds you on the bed, dressed in some killer lingerie (or nothing), and ready to fuck? Well, yeah, that is sexy, really sexy. However, you probably don't have time to do that every day, and honestly, even if you did, that would get old after a while.
But there are so, so many ways to be sexy that you might not even know. Unfortunately, there are also ways to be unsexy that you might not know, but are doing anyway. Let's start with something sexy though.
Your lingerie is great, don't go tossing it. But save it for special occasions. After all, the less we guys see it the more we appreciate it. Don't take that as a go-ahead to be stingy with it either. Maybe just reserve it for a couple nights a week. In the meantime, a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt will do just fine. I don't mean big baggy things. I mean a nice pair of lounge pants that might hug your ass a little, and a t-shirt that is snug enough to show off your chest, maybe a bare midriff too. You don't have to go too tight though, it's not necessary to be uncomfortable to be sexy.
Clothing really isn't so much the key to sexiness though. In all honesty, it's attitude. Allow me to tell you that the "let's fuck and get it over with" attitude is the very, very least sexy thing to a man, short of not wanting to have sex at all. Having a sexy attitude means you show desire, and you can (and should) do so in two ways (don't take these as order of importance, they are equal). One, you show desire to please your man. Blowjobs, doing his favorite positions, and telling him how much you want to fuck him, are great ways to do this. Two, let him know you desire him because he pleases you! That's right, ladies, your men should want to please you. And there are few things sexier than a woman telling her man she wants to fuck him because she knows he's going to blow her mind. I challenge you to get in touch with your animal side and growl, "I love how you fuck me," mid-coitus. I would make sure you already came though, because it's not going to be long until he blows his load.
As I said before, there are ways to be unsexy without meaning to. Complaining about your body is a huge one. If your man compliments you on being hot and/or sexy (which if you have a good man, he should) then take the compliment. Smile, giggle, tell him he is too, whatever, just take the compliment. DO NOT turn around and say, "I'm fat," or any variation of that. In the first place, even if you do have some love handles, he probably doesn't give a damn. Second, with that simple statement, you just told him you couldn't care less what he thinks of you, and it makes him feel stupid. Not remotely sexy. Where women got the idea that pointing out mild flaws, if they even are flaws, is a good thing I'll never know. In most cases, you'd never hear a man tell you he thinks his cock is small if you tell him it's huge. But I'll tell you this, even if you complain to fish for compliments, it's not sexy. As I said, a good man should tell you that you're good looking on a regular basis, just like he should tell you regularly that he loves you. Believe him when he compliments you. If you don't feel sexy, be willing to see yourself through his eyes, and you will. Also, don't complain about breast size or facial flaws or that type of thing. The whole issue is that since he chose you, he is attracted to you! Saying that you are unattractive is either going to make him feel bad, or, in the worst case scenario, convince him you're right.
Being sexy, particularly during sex, can also depend on how your body corresponds with your man's. Hopefully you do have a guy who takes care of himself. Guys, you need to work out, seriously. Yeah, there are women who prefer guys skinner than they are. Again, I don't get it, so I'm not getting into it. Let's just go from the typical perspective.
Suppose you're a shorter, smaller girl. Your man is probably taller and larger than you, so let him know you feel safe with him around. A man feels great when he knows his woman feels secure with him, touching on that inner guardian and warrior all men are born with. During sex, let him pick you up, hold you, and fuck you with your legs wrapped around his waist. He will feel strong and powerful, his masculine ego is stroked, and you will get the fuck of your life.
But now, suppose you're not short and petite. You might work out yourself, and are tall and toned. It might be that, while you're definitely not fat, you weigh more because of your height and build, so your man can't pick you up for long enough periods of time to fuck you properly while holding you. You can still make him feel strong by making him fight for it a bit. I'm not suggesting forcing scenarios, that's up to you. I mean playfully resist, smile to let him know it's in fun, but strain against him. Make him pin you down, or wrestle with him a bit. Conversely, it's also very sexy if you pin him down and "take what you want," so to speak. I don't recommend doing that all the time though, or rather, doing just that all the time. If you do have that in your regular play, and there's nothing wrong with that, just remember to let him turn the tables. It's not about men being superior or any damn thing like that (put the picket signs down), it's about stroking his male ego. You want to be sexy, make him feel sexy, and have a great fuck? Stroke the ego. The sexiest thing to a man is when you make him feel like a man.
Why? Ladies, it's a cruel world. Now, most of you know that too. But men are particularly vulnerable to hurt egos, even though we act like we're not. In all likelihood, your man probably has a stressful job. Getting passed over for promotions, getting paid less that what he knows he's worth, and dickhead bosses and/or co-workers mentally beat him up all during the day. You are his safe haven, and that is why it's so sexy for you to stroke his ego. Honestly, if you make him feel like a man, fuck everything else, because all the assholes in the world don't mean anything as long as he has your respect.
Yikes, went off on a tangent there! It's true though, so keep it in mind. Moving on though...
If you both work out, another great way to be sexy is to work out together. Wear either some workout pants or short shorts and a sports bra or t-shirt, depending on if you work out at home or in a gym. I recommend working out together at home, if you can. Your man LOVES to see you work out and sweat! Your body glistens, then shines, your skin is slick, your pheromones are pumping out as you sweat, your chest heaves and you're groaning...excuse me a moment (sticks head in a bucket of ice water). Ahh...that's better. But seriously, do you get it? Does all that sound familiar? It should, because working out duplicates the effects of sex on your body (at least if you're doing it right...fucking, I mean). That's why men love to watch women work out! It's sexy as hell! Now, when you're done (if you can make it that far) take a shower together, and either wash each other up and get into bed or just fuck in the shower. But, if you want to go for a real turn on, drop the weights or whatever you're using and fuck him right there. Now, yes, you're sweaty and hot and in your opinion, that might be gross. If you can't get over that, well, don't force it, because you won't enjoy it. But I would suggest trying to get over it, because you'll be in for a great ride. You might not want to go down on him, or have him go down on you, but other than that, go with it. Your bodies will slide on each other, and you'll both be pulsing with heat, your blood pumping with exertion and arousal from watching each other. Sure, you smell strongly, but that doesn't mean bad. Sweat carries a lot of pheromones. It's not as though you're just sitting in your sweat for hours and then trying to have sex when it turns to B.O. No, you're getting at each other when your bodies are emitting those powerful scents that arouse and excite. Also, having just been physically active and aroused means you can just launch right into the hot fucking, you don't have to turn each other on. As an aside, there's also the mental aspect that you both know the other person is taking care of themselves and wants to look good for you, so it's sexy in the mind as well as the body.
Another aspect of sexy is body hair or the lack thereof. This is hugely opinion driven. Now, most guys dread the thought of shaving their balls, chest, armpits, etc, largely out of some misguided and inaccurate thought that it's "gay". Whatever. It's the 21st century folks, men shaving their body hair isn't gay or straight anymore. But I digress. Personally, I do my balls and pits because I think thick body hair is gross and it traps smells, which isn't good, and I personally feel sexier when I don't have that. Ladies, many men nowadays think a woman who has a totally hairless body is sexy, I happen to be one. That doesn't mean that's the case for every guy. This is an area I really think a lot of couples should discuss and might be embarrassed to do so. Flush that, and just talk about it. Men like everything from a full bush to a landing strip to totally shaved. It's all good. Some guys even like their women to have armpit hair. It's natural and, in some countries, exotic. Body hair might give the appearance of wild and feral, and that turns some guys on. It's not gross, it's not wrong. I recommend talking about it and doing what he thinks is sexy. BUT, fellas, if she's willing to do whatever you want, make sure you're willing to return the favor. My wife likes me to retain what chest hair I have (not much), so I do. Wives, talk to your husbands and ask him what he wants, then tell him what you want.
All in all, sexy really is a respective thing. But there are a few constants, and above all, the thing that determines sexy is attitude. I'd fuck a girl with a few extra pounds wearing a sweat suit who has a great smile and a "come fuck me" attitude over a supermodel in a g-string and push up bra who bitches about her appearance and acts like sex is a pain in the ass. Communication is paramount when it comes to sexy, after all, how can you both know what the other thinks is sexy if you don't ask? So open it up for discussion, be open minded, maybe even get a little weird, and stay sexy!