A Shower of Awakening

It was so cold, the dampness soaked through to my soul as I shivered uncontrollably. My hair fell forward in damp strings as I stared at them, water slowly tracing down in droplets, as each small globe fell from the tips and hit my thighs. I tried to loose myself in my thoughts. I glanced to sponge lying on the wet tiles and watched as it slowly soaked and absorbed the water into it, taking everything it could. My bottom lip reverberated with each shallow breath trying to will warmth into my soul. My arms encased my legs as I methodically rocked back and forth on the cold tiles of the shower stall.

How long I danced to my pain of the soul on that cold floor, I don’t know. I was lost in my world of madness, as time had stood still. Sleep must have finally come for me, taking me off to a world of dreams, which at times were much more sane then my reality. I jerked awake, as the trembling pulled me from my sleep, having no idea if I had slept only minutes or hours.

I willed myself to stand, though my body seemed to be enveloped with an ambiguous weight and moved from the room, my strength washed away with each droplet of water. Without thought I moved to my bed, Effortlessly sliding within the covers and drifting off into peace.

When I awoke, the light was streaming from the half drawn shades, the brightness seeming to fixate on my eyes as I squinted and pulled my only blanket over my head. The light seemed to direct itself even through the covering over my face and will me to rise, to enter the world of the living and begin another day.

My mind whirled with thoughts as I recounted the evening before, the intensity of my emotions again racing through my flesh. I felt again as every nerve was raw, every breath almost being able to be touched as it stood still. I found it hard to believe that I could feel to vulnerable, so soft and feminine, so alive and so free.

I had found myself at the feet of a man, a man who had almost consumed me with his will and strength. As I knelt before him the first time, I felt so shy, my head lowered, blonde waves cascading about hoping that it would cover my eyes so he could not see right through to my soul. I knew he was smiling looking down at me, I sensed it and I felt myself feeling smaller and smaller with each breath. I had dug my nails into the flesh of my thighs, and tried to will myself not to cry. The moment he reached out, my eyes catching his hand, my body froze and the tears easily poured down my cheeks.

I felt his thumb trace over my face, wiping away the dampness, my breath totally gone, as the depth of the emotions continued to rage. He lifted my chin and, his voice soft and caressing my soul told me to look upon his face. For the briefest of moments, I lifted my eyes and at that moment he totally absorbed my being. I felt as if he had entered into my soul, my whole being and I was totally at his mercy.

There was nothing I could do but lowering my head and press my lips to his feet in total adulation. The sobbing was uncontrollable, my body shaking with each gasping breath as I hungrily lapped and pressed my lips to his feet, licking away my tears as they fell.

I willed myself to stop thinking of the night before, each touch, caress, each soft cry that he willed from body, and curled into a fetal position, slowly rocking trying to end the fear. My fear came from realizing that I no longer had control, I was his puppet and would do anything to be allowed to be in his presence. He had told me that I would do anything he wished, and I knew this true. I had felt a heaven on earth, as I slowly soared higher than I could ever imagine. Without thought I jumped from within my cocoon, tossing the covers aside and moved across the room, ready to begin a new journey.