A Simple Act of Greed

Life doesn't only kick you when you're down, we had it all. Love, careers and a happy marriage, it didn't seem like I had a care in the world. Well, that was then and this is now.

It's been about a month since Tonie first hit me with the fact that I was a dirty rotten cheating bastard. This came as quite a shock to me, you see, I barely look at other women. I have all that I've ever wanted or needed right here at home. Obviously, somebody is lying to my wife but she won't tell me who it is.

Try as I might to explain things to Tonie, she won't listen. I know how hardheaded she is at times, but this time it is more than what color to paint the house. We don't usually fight, I just let her pout or give in. Not this time, I won't admit to something I didn't do. I'm going to get to the bottom of this today one way or the other.

"Please, would you move? I'm going to be late for my meeting."

"Sure I'll move, just as soon as you tell me who is filling your head with this bullshit."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Please, I'm already running late. You know how important this meeting is to me, it could mean that promotion I've been after."

"Is it more important than our marriage? I'm going to sit right here in front of this fucking door until you tell me who told you I was cheating on you."

"Why? So you can go and kick their ass?" she spat.

"Yeah, that might just happen. Look, I've told you a thousand times that there was no other woman, but you'd rather believe somebody else. So I'm not going to move until you tell me."

"You're acting like a child, it doesn't fit to well on you either. Now are you going to move?"

"No, I'm not budging until you tell me. This isn't going away until we settle this. You've been treating me like shit for a month now and I've had it up to my eyeballs. Tell me who and I'll get out of your way."

"Fine, if that's what you want. It was Jane, she saw you and that woman at Mindy's with your hands all over her ass. Are you happy now? Now get out of my way."

I'll do better than that, I'll get clear out of your life. I left the bedroom and went into the garage to give my wife space to leave for her precious fucking meeting. I should've known it would be that cunt Jane, one of Tonie's friends. She couldn't keep a man so I guess she wouldn't be happy until she wrecked our marriage too.

Tonie and I, Bill, have been married for five pretty good years. It seems like the only time we fight is when the J word comes into play in our conversations. I can't explain why she bothers me so much, she is just one of those people that I just didn't like from the first time I met her. Tonie seems to think that Jane's shit smells like roses, well she can have her.

My wife can be the most stubborn person at times, and I'll be the first to admit that I'm not too much better in that regard. She's the best friend that I ever had, so it makes leaving her that much harder. I have reached the end of my patience with her, I love her too much to stay and slug it out.

As soon as Tonie was out the door I began to pack all of my stuff into my car. She has no trust in me any more and I'm not going to fight it. I was accused, tried and convicted without being given a chance to explain the fact that I was truly innocent. It didn't seem to matter that I had never even set foot in Mindy's, an upscale watering hole. Shit, I don't even drink that often, and if I do it's not going to be at a meat-market like that.

An hour later I was out the door for good. I rented a room earlier that day knowing that I was done with all the bullshit that Tonie had given me in the last month. If she chooses to take Jane's word for something that never occurred then so be it, I've talked until I was blue in the face and it had gotten me nowhere.

Monday morning I was sitting in Ralph's office taking the job offer I had turned down two months earlier. Tonie didn't want to move so far from her family, there was nothing stopping me now. A better job with a real chance for advancement, twelve hundred miles from the home I used to have. Put me in coach, I can start on Thursday.

About two hundred miles on the way to my new life in Phoenix my cell phone rang, that should be Tonie wondering where I had been for the last two days.

"This is Bill."

"Bill, where are you? Where were you when I came home? Are you ok?" She sounded concerned.

"Why don't you ask Jane? She seems to know everything about my life, you probably wouldn't believe me anyway."

"Bill, can't you just answer me? There is no need to act like an asshole."

"What's the matter Tonie, don't you like it when somebody won't tell you what you want to know? I tried to talk to you for over a month, I'm done talking now."

And I turned off my phone and just drove. I am probably making the biggest mistake of my life by leaving Tonie, I love her with all of my heart. I just can't see myself living the way I have been, it is no good for either of us. She refused to talk about things between us, and I knew things wouldn't heal themselves.

I bought a new phone and left instruction with my new secretary that I didn't want to take any calls from my wife. She didn't know what to think of her new boss, I must have seemed like an asshole to her. I told her briefly that we were getting divorced and she nodded with understanding now.

I started work and threw everything I had into it. I had no other life to worry about, it was just me now. I contacted an attorney to start the divorce proceedings, I told him the particulars and told him I just wanted it over. I really just wanted to move ahead with my life.

Two weeks had passed and I got a call from my lawyer. He said Tonie wouldn't go for the divorce without talking first. Well, what did we really have to talk about, I could see no reason to talk to her now, she had refused to talk to me before I left. I refused and told him to do what ever it was going to take, let her have everything if you have to. I knew he wouldn't go there, a shark never wants to let on he's weaker than the other fish in the tank.

The time frame of the divorce was of little consequence to me at this point. I had no social life and didn't need the complications of another woman in my life right then, if Tonie wants to fight it, let her. Maybe she will get the same feeling I had when I tried to reason with her trying to save our marriage. I did miss her but I would never let myself have the time to wallow in self pity.

I can't say the last thing I had expected to happen to me was a visit by Jane, but I'll tell you it was definitely right up there with seeing Bigfoot or being abducted by Aliens. She showed up at my doorstep one Saturday morning as I was leaving for work.

"Well Jane, this is quite a surprise. Did you come to stab me in the back again or are you here to rub salt in the wounds I already have?"

"I suppose I deserved that."

"Oh no Jane, you don't even deserve to be breathing the same air as other human beings. You are not even a poor excuse for one. Now just get the fuck away from me, you've ruined as much of my life as you are going to."

"Bill, can't you just give me a minute to tell you I'm sorry? I drove all night to try to make this right with you."

"Fuck you Jane." I said pushing my way past her.

I got in my car and drove to the office. The nerve of that bitch, she must have really thought I would listen to her lies. Jane was a drop dead gorgeous woman with the personality of tofu. I was so angry I couldn't even focus on a thing, the quietness of the office on Saturday usually lets me finish the tons of paperwork. I gave up at noon and stopped at the store to get a few things before heading home.

Well, she was still there sitting on my doorstep.

"Didn't I explain to you earlier that you're not welcome here?"

"Yes Bill, I got the message. But I have to talk to you... Bill I really need to go pee could I come in for a minute and use your bathroom, please?"

Fuck, sometimes I just don't know why I do things, but I let her in. She ran inside searching for the toilet, I carried my groceries to the kitchen and started to put them away. It's probably easier to just get this over with and then maybe she will leave me in peace. She returned a few minutes later looking very relieved.

"Jane, just say what you have to, then go."

"Bill, I know you don't think very highly of me. I also know that you know it was me that convinced Tonie that you were cheating on her. I am sorry that Tonie lost you, but I'm not sorry that I did it." She said this as she walked closer unbuttoning her blouse.

"Just stop right there, Jane." I put up my hand to stop her from coming closer, she continued toward me and my hand was on her breast now. Her small hands closed around my wrist holding my hand in place.

"I want you Bill, I've wanted you for as long as I've know you. Go ahead, touch me, feel how hard my nipple is just being near you. I'm so wet for you Bill, I'll do it all for you, anything you want. Take me now, I need you inside of me, fuck me Bill, use me. I just want to be near you."

"NO! Stop it Jane. This is never going to happen."

"Why Bill? There's no one to stop us now, I'm here for you. I'm all yours for as long as you want, whenever you want."

"You forgot a couple of things, Jane. I can't fucking stand the sight of you, and I love Tonie, not you."

"Why is that Bill, could you just tell me that. What's so wrong with me? What does Tonie have that I don't?" She had tears running down her cheeks now.

"You can't be serious Jane, you really don't know?"

"No."

"Shit, I'll have to add stupid to your list of problems. Jane to put it bluntly you're a cunt. Look at what you did to Tonie, and she was your friend. She stood by you when nobody else would, she trusted you. Just look at what you did to her, It wasn't love it was greed. You really should see a shrink, you could use help."

"But Bill, I love you I did this for you, for us. Don't you see Tonie never loved you like I do."

"Just save it Jane, were just talking in circles here. I think you should go."

Have you ever had a conversation with somebody and felt that your IQ had dropped. Man, I just did. Jane was so used to getting her own way, she never even factored anyone else into the equation. It truly was all about what she wanted, I have never meet anyone so self absorbed and I hope that I never do again.

Work was going well for me, I'd been here for six months and the extra time I had put in paid off. I was offered the executive VP position, the only down side would be returning to the head office where I used to work. I hadn't talked to Tonie except through my lawyer. The offers made to my attorney were so laughable that we hadn't progressed at all in the divorce. I suppose that when I get back I will need to get things finished, even if it means talking to her.

It was a couple of weeks latter when I moved, within a month I was settled in to my new job. It's funny how the higher up the ladder you go and the more money they pay you, how much less work you have to do. I spent a few days looking for a place to live, I settled for a condo close to the office. I really had no need for a large house. This made me think of how Tonie and I had dreamed about the day we could afford to move outside the city.

It had always been our dream to buy a house out in the country and have a couple of kids. It seemed a million miles away now, the hopes and wants of a young couple so in love. I felt like an old man getting ready to retire instead of a young buck at the top of his game.

I was surprised to receive a call from Tonie's mother Ruth. I hadn't heard from her for a long time. Well before the split, probably on her birthday last year. We had gotten along pretty well in the past, this call should prove interesting.

"Ruth, it's good to hear from you again, it's been a while. How are you?"

"I'm fine Bill. I wanted to ask you what you said to Tonie she's acting crazy and we can't get through to her."

"Ruth, I haven't talked to Tonie for over six months. I just got back in town two weeks ago."

"Wait a minute, what do you mean you just got back? Where were you?"

"Tonie thought I had an affair, Ruth. One of her friends told her that she saw me with another woman, she wouldn't believe me that I didn't, so I left her about seven months ago. I took a job at the Phoenix office for a while and I just got back to town."

"Oh my, she told us you were away for a few weeks. She never said any thing about you leaving."

"Ruth, why wouldn't she tell you? She talks to you on the phone nearly every day."

"Bill you haven't talked to her for months? I mean not at all?"

"I'm sorry Ruth, only through our lawyers, but she won't cooperate with the divorce."

"Divorce, Bill you don't know do you? No, how could you if you haven't talked her. Oh my lord."

"Ah Ruth, do you think you could include me in the conversation or do you need another moment to yourself."

"Bill, are you sitting down?"

"What's wrong Ruth? What's going on?"

"Tonie's pregnant."

"WHAT? HOW? WHEN?"

"Bill, calm down. She's about eight months along."

"What do I do? My god I had no idea."

My god what do I do? Eight months, she knew she was pregnant while we were fighting. Does this change anything? She still took Jane's word over mine, I don't see what other choice I had at the time. I don't know if I can just forgive her just like that. Hell, what am I thinking, maybe she doesn't want me back. I can be such an egotistical ass sometimes. We both have decisions to make.

I left work early and told my secretary I may not be in for the rest of the week. I didn't know what was ahead of me, but I did know I had to see Tonie as soon as I could. We both had clearly made mistakes that had compounded each other, we had to see this to a conclusion together like it or not.

At eight months, Tonie should be at home, this close to her due date I doubted she would still be working. The house looked the same as the day I had left, it still needed paint and the screen on the front door needed replacing. I still had no idea what to say to her as I rang the bell. I stood there waiting and realized that was the first time I had ever done that. I was feeling like I didn't belong here anymore.

"OH GOD."

That was all that came out of her mouth as she fell to the floor unconscious. Tonie looked as bad as I had ever seen her. No make up and her hair hadn't been combed for god knows how long. I rushed to the phone and called 911, telling them to hurry. I held Tonie in my arms for the first time in over half a year and she didn't even know I was there. The ambulance seemed to take hours to arrive as we rocked together. I kissed her forehead and told her it would all be ok now.

On our way to the hospital I called her mother to let her know what was going on, they lived over fifty miles away but Ruth said they would be on their way immediately. The nurses made me wait outside at the emergency room, so I made my way to the desk to fill out the paperwork. Her mother and father soon arrived and we went to the waiting room. I could see the glances her father was giving me, it made me feel like I was a prisoner waiting for the death sentence to be pronounced.

We sat in silence waiting for word of Tonie's condition, each time someone walked by I looked up hopefully for news. The strain was almost unbearable as I sat with my head in my hands. Don, Tonie's father brought me a cup of coffee and sat down near me. He didn't speak but we both felt the tension between us dissolve.

After what seemed like hours the doctor finally came in to see us. Tonie had a condition known as pre-eclampsia, her blood pressure had spiked and with the added stress of seeing me she had passed out. The condition was serious to both her and the baby, the only way to stop it was to deliver our baby. They had performed an emergency cesarean section on Tonie and she was sleeping but recovering. The baby was in ICU, being premature it was too early to say how she was. Yes, I had a daughter.

This was all of some comfort but things were still hanging over my head. It looked like Tonie was going to be fine, the baby at this time was a question mark and I was worried, but what about Tonie and I? Were we going to find a way to heal the old wounds or were we finished. I hadn't yet talked to her and I really hadn't had time to examine my own feelings. I sat back down to wait for Tonie to rest a little so we could talk.

Things weren't much easier now, the focus had changed though. I wasn't worried for her health now as much as for the future we would or wouldn't have together. Did the fact we now had another life to worry over change anything? I knew Tonie would be a good mother and I would certainly try to be there for my daughter. But were we going to do it as a family?

Tonie had always wanted children, she had brothers and sisters. I was an only child and was used to being alone. This was why it had been so easy to walk away from her so many months ago. I wasn't that I didn't love her or wasn't willing to fight to keep her, only that I didn't know how to do it without hurting her. I had never witnessed fighting and love mixed together.

It was a strange revelation that had me to the point of tears. Tonie could be mad at me and still be around me, I realized this now, that's why she had been shocked at my leaving her. I still didn't know why though, that she hadn't told me about our child. Fuck, if I would have talked to her she would have. I am an asshole, that's the last thing I can remember Tonie saying to me. "There's no need to act like an asshole."

If anyone was truly at fault for all this in the first place, it was Jane. Jane cast the hook, Tonie took the bait and I got caught, skinned and fried.

It was getting later in the evening when the nurse came to get me, Tonie wanted to see me now that she was awake. I went to her room not knowing exactly what to expect.

"Bill, it really was you. I thought I was dreaming." She said weakly.

"Are you feeling ok now?" I said holding her hand. I didn't want to push anything right now, I would try to go with the flow and see how she was going to react to seeing me.

"I'm pretty worn out right now, but they say I'll be fine. Bill, I'm so sorry for not trusting you. I don't blame you for leaving me, I can see what a bitch I was. I know sorry doesn't cut it after how I acted..." I held my finger to her lips.

"How about we call a truce for now? I want to tell you so many things but we need to make sure our little girl is alright first."

I held her in my arms as tightly as I could considering her condition. I could feel the tears running down both our cheeks and mingling together as they rolled off of my chin. We clung to each other as if our lives depended on it, and they did in a way. I hadn't felt this way for so, so long.

Ruth and Don were standing in the doorway sharing a silly grin not wanting to interrupt the moment. I whispered in Tonie's ear that we had company and wiped the tears from her face. We talked a little but thankfully they left for the night after a few minutes. I sat next to Tonie as she slept peacefully.

The next morning brought a comfortable silence, we were happy to be near each other without that uncomfortable chatter trying to entertain one another. That is until the newest next important woman in my life entered the room. Little Donna, named after Tonie's father, she came into our lives kicking and screaming demanding to be fed.

I watched as Donna took Tonie's breast into her mouth for the first time. I had missed every other part of her birth but the conception. I knew I had missed a lot of special moments due to anger and pride. Right now though, I saw something special and I was sure not to miss any of the rest of her life if it was possible.