A Slave to the Servants Ch. 19

Every day I thought of my daughter. I wondered what she was doing and how she was. In quiet moments I would sit and look toward the sky praying for her safety. She was a fixture in my daily thoughts.

One mid day meal, as I sat with Damien outside the Keeper's compound in the forest, I was staring up at the sky. It was wide and beautiful beyond the trees. Flying freely through it must be a wonderful experience.

"What are you looking at?" Damien asked peering up through the canopy.

"I'm thinking of Hannah," I told him passing him the bowl to take a bite. "I look at the sky and wonder if she's out flying in it somewhere. I'd love to know where she is and what she's doing every day."

He sat and watched me for a moment before he spoke. "I don't understand," he said simply. "Why do you want to know that?"

I sighed and looked at him. He was never going to understand, but he probably wouldn't drop it.

"Didn't you wonder what Christof was doing when he disappeared into the mountains? I worry about Hannah and hope she is well. It would make me feel better if I knew what she was doing," I attempted to explain.

Damien sat back against the tree he was lounging on as he handed me the bowl.

"Always so curious, you are like Christof in that regard," he told me.

The subject was in the open, so I pushed a little with him. "You have other children out there, you must. Don't you ever wonder about them? What they are like or what they are doing? Do you think about our daughter?"

I tried to pass the bowl and he stopped me. "Eat more and I'll answer you," he said grinning. "You almost look well again."

Dutifully I took a large bite and looked pointedly at him.

"No," was the simple answer, "I never think about them. I assume Hannah is well, but I do not think on her unless you bring her up. Others may exist, from what the women said I have been a breeder."

He paused for a moment and then spoke again, "Christof thinks about it. He wonders about the children he has sired. When we were bonded to you he saw how children lived on your planet. He is curious how his offspring fare."

"Would the women tell you?" I asked taking another bite.

"They never have, but we've never asked," Damien said simply.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Damien spoke again.

"I think I would enjoy knowing more about Hannah. She was interesting. I liked her," he added after a long pause.

Long ago I'd promised myself I would not cry anymore about my daughter. Hearing Damien say he liked her struck me hard. He had never seemed to be that interested in her. During our time in the mountains he had either been fearful or indifferent. Despite my resolve I felt the tears slipping down my face.

"Ah, no more tears," he said pulling me onto his lap. "We will not speak of her if it makes you sad. You lose the food we give you when you are upset."

Strong arms held me tightly to his chest as I trembled.

"I miss her," I cried into his neck. "I worry about her and want desperately to see her. Everyday, I have her on my mind. If I could just know she was all right..." I trailed off.

It was a pipe dream. There was no more way for me to know Hannah was all right than for my mother to know I was all right. The distance may as well be the same. I was not going to get closer to either one of them.

"We have a coupling," Damien said firmly. "It is very soon. I will talk to Nu-reeh and ask her to let you see Hannah."

I dried my tears and snorted. "Hannah's who knows where, Damien. She could be anywhere on the whole planet."

"Do you doubt me?" he said lifting my chin so I looked in his eyes.

I saw the spark of challenge and had to laugh. Damien was so sure of himself, all the time. It didn't matter what the situation was.

"No, Master Damien," I said using the formal title to irritate him, "you are a powerful man and I do not doubt you."

Damien grinned back at me and hugged my body close to his. That seemed to settle the argument for the time being.

We sat in the bathhouse that night and I washed Damien as usual. Christof sat on the bench beside Damien discussing strategy. There had been a fight with bandits on the road today and Christof thought there was a better tactic than what they were using.

"That's how the men in the red mountains group," Damien argued as I finished scrubbing him. "We don't do it that way."

Christof continued with his point. It was a valid way to arrange themselves and it might be better. They should try it.

I had to stifle a laugh. It sounded to me like Christof was just curious. He just wanted to try something different.

"Something amuse you?" he asked pulling me onto his lap.

"Just you being you," I told him soaping his front.

Christof released me and I continued to wash him. Damien was already clean.

"You don't have to do that," Christof said as I circled the bench to wash his back.

"I want to, Christof," I leaned down and whispered in his ear. "You've washed my back plenty of times. It's only fair."

He relented, probably because he wanted to keep arguing with Damien. I soaped and massaged him as they sat there. My mind wandered as I worked and I realized how infrequently I did this for Christof.

Damien liked me to bathe him, because he liked the massage that accompanied the bath. Evan liked me to touch his hair, so I always washed it for him. When Bane and Kein weren't off making mischief around the pool, I washed them. Christof never had me clean him.

I scrubbed his left arm and moved to his right still thinking about it. The reason probably stemmed from his dislike of slavery. He probably thought this was a service I provided them because I was acting like a slave. One day I'd have to tell him how human lovers liked to wash each other. That may make him feel better about it.

His mark was on his right arm, just like everyone else's. I traced it with my fingers and smiled at the familiarity. This insignia I could draw with my eyes closed.

Their mark was all over the cuffs and collar I wore. When I knitted or sewed it always had a place in the fabric. It marked my kneeling place and hung proudly above their door. This symbol meant home and safety to me.

There were differences in the marks on the men, of course. Tiny symbols in the background denoted breeders back three generations. I moved soapy fingers over Christof's mark and froze suddenly.

It could not be right. I was sure I wasn't correct. I scooped water up and rinsed the shoulder, but it was still there. I traced the tiny symbol with my fingertip and just felt stunned.

Christof was the grandson of a human slave.

"Ciara," Christof said placing a hand over mine, "what's wrong? You look startled."

My mouth opened and shut with nothing coming out. This was the wrong place to discuss this. It was too crowded here.

"Talk to me," he said urgently, "what's wrong?"

I had to think of something, Damien was standing up and walking to me.

"I noticed something and it isn't important. I'm just surprised..." I said looking between them.

Damien leaned down toward me and whispered in my ear.

"Tell us right now. There are no secrets in this family."

I shook my head and his face got hard. He did not like to be denied.

"I can't, not here. It's just...not something I can say here," I sputtered looking up at him.

Evan was beside us a second later. Bane and Kein appeared at the edge of the pool just after that.

Damien whispered to me again, "We are going upstairs and you will tell us. I do not like it when you keep secrets from me."

We marched upstairs and as soon as the door closed Damien looked pointedly at me.

"Christof's mark," I pointed to his shoulder, "his female breeder two generations ago was a human slave," I finished.

They just stared at me and I started to feel stupid. Maybe they already knew or maybe they didn't care. I thought of ways to apologize for overreacting and cutting our time downstairs short.

"Are you sure?" Christof asked, touching the mark with his left hand as though his fingers could read what I had just said.

Kein brushed Christof's hands away and looked at the mark closely. "It looks as it always has, Brothers," he said relaxing his shoulders.

"The tutors taught me to read the marks to tell ancestry-" I started to say and Evan cut me off.

"We don't remember this lesson," he said stubbornly.

I thought back to that day when Runen and his Brothers taught me to read the marks. My men hadn't been paying attention. They had been very busy, but why?

Bane realized why as he passed the linen wraps to the other men. "Nu-reeh's bin broke one day. We were very busy picking up the ore before she arrived with the next load."

Evan argued with him. He didn't understand how they didn't have the same knowledge I did while they were bonded to me. Christof's explanation was probably accurate.

"Ciara is human. The bond doesn't work right for her. How many times did we say that while it was happening? I think that explains this also," he said sitting down and motioning me over.

The other men discussed and agreed. Bonding with me had been odd. They didn't have access to everything I knew, I doled it out slowly with memories. Apparently I never thought of this lesson when we were up there.

"Show me the mark for my human breeder a generation ago, please," Christof said gently.

I pointed it out and they all looked at it. The rest of the Brothers wanted to be checked. I found the mark on Evan that denoted a slave in the third generation, but not human. We had already been aware of that, though. No one else had human breeders, at least not three generations back.

"Was she happy?" Christof asked quietly taking my hand and pulling me down next to him. "Was she harmed or beaten? Did she miss the family she was taken from on Earth?"

No one had an answer for any of that. The men sat down around us murmuring.

I ventured a guess, "I imagine she was treated well. It wasn't that long ago and she was healthy enough to have a child..."

Christof didn't look comforted, he looked angry. The mood spread into the other men and now they were all angry. Damien started pacing and I feared for the nearest wall. Their tempers had hold of them.

Suddenly, they were calm. Some thought had righted them. It was so odd watching the internal conversations from the outside.

I wondered why they couldn't just say what they were thinking out loud. Probably a lifetime of communicating this way made it easier, I assumed. It had seemed very intrusive to me, but they didn't seem to mind it.

Evan stood up suddenly. He looked at every Brother before disappearing into the room they kept their clothes in. A moment later he returned with a blue cloth bag the size of a lunch bag.

The bag was a curiosity and obviously had something of some weight in it. I gasped when I saw the front. It had their symbol stitched onto it, but beneath it was a symbol I recognized as my name. I'd never seen this bag before.

Evan handed the bag to me and sat down in his chair. "We have wanted to give this to you, but we had not chosen the time yet," he said by way of explanation.

Looking around I wasn't sure what they wanted me to do with it.

"You do not need to keep it in water," Damien told me, "no one will steal from you in our home."

"And water would not protect it here," Kein added helpfully.

"What is this?" I asked looking at Christof.

He smiled and told me to open it and see.

A knot the boy scouts would be proud of lashed the bag closed. Christof showed me how to untie it and told me he would teach me to redo the knot. My hand dipped into the bag and the smooth stones they used for money were inside, perhaps thirty stones in all.

"We will take you to market," Bane said grinning. "You will use the motions you learned on Earth to tell us what you want. You can point, nod, and shake your head. We will barter for you, if the price is acceptable you will nod your head."

"There will be days off," Damien said, "two days every cycle of the ringed moon you do not have to work for us. We would like to know what days they will be in advance, though."

My mouth didn't really work right and all I said was, "Work for you?"

Kein clarified for me. Two days a lunar cycle I could choose not to perform my purpose here even if they wanted me to. Those would be my days off. Kein did make a point to remind me how much pleasure they brought me when I performed for them.

A giggle bubbled past my lips. They had saved me from slavery to make me into a prostitute. I couldn't decide which sounded worse.

The laugh I had made confused them and they looked at me questioningly. With great effort I schooled my features. This was generous and I should not be greedy.

"Thank you very much," I said looking down at the bag. "This was so kind of you all. I know I am very lucky."

There was silence for a moment and then Christof spoke, "So what is wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," I lied smiling. "I'm just so surprised."

"Liar," Bane said sitting back and watching me, "tell us the truth."

I started to say I wasn't lying when Damien broke in with a story. He wanted to know if I was aware my pussy could be spanked. The thick lips on either side were very sensitive and especially the nub at the middle. Men from the red mountains had given Damien the proper equipment. I had packed it in the mountains without knowing what it was.

Saying things that were untrue or keeping secrets just was not acceptable. He would teach me with words as long as I seemed to listen. He'd only punish me like that if he absolutely had to.

Damien's eyes were calm and he wasn't pacing or moving. He was serious and I had no desire to go through that. The truth would have to come out.

"I don't want to be paid to have sex with you all. I love you and your pleasure is mine also. Being paid for what I do here feels wrong. I like being family, not a slave or a servant."

Christof leaned back and seemed to be giving the matter thought. "Then we are sharing our wealth with you because it makes us happy. The sex is an irrelevant part of the bargain. Much like us, you are trapped here. We only wished to make you feel free."

Turning my body I threw my arms around my friend. "Thank you," I told him with my face buried in his neck.

I went around the room and hugged them all. Kein held me for a moment and clarified a point that had been gnawing at him.

"Then you will not take the two days you do not have sex with us, since we are not paying you for that?" he asked.

"No, I would prefer not to be paid for that," I smiled gathering my courage and settling on the chair beside him.

I wanted to know how far they were willing to take this. Looking around I found the necessary courage and asked for something they would not understand.

"I would like," I said folding my hands in my lap and watching my fingers intently, "for sex to be my choice as well as yours."

They would not understand or like this. My family would not capitulate easily to this demand, so I steeled myself for it. I knew they thought that my enjoyment of sex indicated consent. Except for Christof they didn't understand I didn't feel that way. I anticipated they would fight this.

"A choice," Kein said thoughtfully, "that means you could choose not to have sex with us?"

I looked up hesitantly and was relieved they didn't look offended.

"Yes, that is what I mean," I said watching their near emotionless faces. "On Earth, sex between a couple would be something they would both agree on. If one partner wasn't interested the other partner might wait or...take care of things themselves."

The internal discussion they must be having had to be intense. All of them were staring at one another. Most of the looks settled repeatedly on Christof. My friend was trying to give them my point of view, I knew he was.

"We bring you pleasure every time," Bane addressed to me. "When we touch you, your body responds to us immediately. This is not a painful experience for you. Even the things you did not like initially you have learned to take great pleasure from."

"I do not dispute your ability to arouse me past all reason," I agreed. "I am just asking for the right to choose to be aroused."

Christof smiled when I looked at him. The others had a strange look on their faces. They weren't upset with this, instead they seemed to be giving it great thought.

"We would like this also," Damien said stretching his long legs out. "It would be good if the women asked our permission before mounting us."

Kein grunted loudly and Bane laughed.

"They would never be so generous, Brothers, but we can be," Evan said with finality.

I looked up at him shocked. They were giving in to my demand without any fight at all.

"It is your choice then, Ciara, every time," Damien formalized. "We will not arouse you when you do not wish it again."

"Thank you," I whispered feeling shocked and empowered.

The men were done with that conversation, though.

"What do you want to buy with your stones?" Christof asked curiously.

As I sat nude on the chair, I knew what I wanted more than almost anything, clothing.

"A night dress," popped immediately out of my mouth.

The men didn't know what I meant. I wanted a linen dress I could wear in the house at night, the way they wore the shifts. Something like a long shirt was what I wanted. It was silly, but I was happy when they didn't seem to mind the idea.

"If we go to Fredrick," Evan said, "he would try to sell us ornamentation. What Ciara talks about is clothing; he would not understand."

"We don't go to him, then," Damien said shrugging.

The motion caught my eye and I pointed an accusing finger at Damien. "What did you just do?" I asked.

The conversation was back and forth for a moment before I asked Damien where he learned to shrug.

"You do it sometimes. The young one did it frequently. My Brothers and I understand the meaning," he explained before getting back to the original conversation.

Before long I'd have them nodding every time they said yes. I grinned at the idea.

Bane and Kein were discussing where to get me my dress. It wouldn't be difficult to have the men that made their clothes make me something.

"I know how to use the tapes they measure with," Kein said. "They won't have to touch her."

It was decided. All I had to do was pick out the fabric I wanted. We would go to market the next day.

The conversation turned back to Christof and his human ancestry. His teeth had come in differently than the others had, perhaps that was why. They sat and contemplated what differences could be explained by this.

I sat quietly with my bag. It was no big deal that it was "mine", I tried to convince myself. However I couldn't resist touching the stones in the bag. Soon, I found myself counting them. It was the first thing I had owned in a long time and it felt surprisingly good.

We got ready for bed later that night after I tucked my bag of stones next to theirs in the closet.

"We will give you more every lunar cycle," Christof told me.

I touched the ornamentation that hung in the closet and wondered if I would have to buy it now. It was probably expensive.

"That is for us," Christof said touching the skirt that my hand had been on, "we will still buy it for you. The stones will buy you things you would like."

"Thank you," I whispered to Christof as we all filed into the bedroom.

I lay down and heard the men settle quickly. They started to snore lightly within a few moments. I looked at Evan sleeping peacefully next to me and smiled.

The stones were a nice gesture, but it wouldn't buy any of us what we wanted. Freedom had a price tag none of us could afford. Still, what I had was more than any other slave had. I had to be happy and grateful.