A Slave to the Servants Ch. 23

I demanded to be released and allowed to end this. I had to die, I begged. The only way to save these poor future souls was for me to be destroyed. They refused.

Like a fool I threatened to bite them or bite myself. I'd take off my own tongue and then not be able to eat.

"No, little Sister," Bane begged, "stop it. You mustn't talk like that."

I refused and actually tried to bite myself. Strong fingers separated my jaws and they gagged me. The soft round ball fitted between my teeth and held my jaws apart. It latched behind my head. I couldn't bite anything now.

Like a fish out of water I struggled and cursed behind the gag. Tears flowed freely and they brushed them away. Bane held me on his lap and petted my head. After a while I was passed to Damien, he soothed with gentle words. When that didn't work and I continued to cry they gave me to Christof.

My best friend looked at me critically and looked at his Brothers. He found the agreement he needed to continue.

"You do not belong to yourself," he stated with finality. "You do not belong to us, but you have been left in our care for safekeeping."

I screamed in my throat and wailed at him. He wiped my nose and the spit from around the gag before he continued.

"It is not what you want. It is not what we want, but it is what will be. You belong to Nu-reeh. She does not want you hurt. You are not permitted to harm your flesh. We believe you will fight the coupling to produce Nu-reeh's next child-"

I made an unintelligible yell that could easily be interpreted as a yes. He ignored it.

"We will not tell you when you are fertile, but we will know and you will breed."

I started to struggle in his lap and he watched me with cool eyes.

"You told me once that I may not get what I wanted, but what I had was worth something. I still believe that is true."

I remembered the clearing. At the time it had seemed true. Now I wasn't so sure. Christof continued to talk.

"This is not the life you would choose, but it is worth living. I know that you care for us. You must make that the priority in your mind as you told me to make my Brothers my priority."

"We will look for a way to escape," Kein said quietly, "you have to give us time and we will try to find a way out."

It was frustrating to have this conversation bound and gagged. I wanted to scream and argue. I knew the truth, though. Thinking about it calmed my struggles almost immediately.

What I wanted did not matter. What I thought about this was of no consequence. Nu-reeh had said to breed me or she would take me to someone who would. We were all her slaves and we had been given a direct order. As added incentive, we had been told the repercussions if we were not successful.

"It is good we were prepared for this," Kein said tapping his mouth, indicating the protective gag. "When she was our...slave we never needed these things. I am glad we kept them."

"Mostly prepared," Bane said crossing his arms and looking into the closet darkly.

The internal conversation was heated for a moment and I felt Christof stiffen beneath me.

I lay my head on Christof's shoulder and let my forehead fall on his neck. He allowed me to snuggle against him as he spoke to his Brothers. I relished the small comfort.

"Ryan and his Brothers work with Fredrick," he said stroking my arm, "they make the collars and cuffs the slaves wear."

"Ciara can't open those!" Evan said standing and looking victorious.

The sarcastic part of my brain thought about all the fun things I could say if they were allowing me to talk. The rest of me wanted to know what I wasn't allowed to open.

Evan changed in a flash into his street wear. He came out of the closet armed and dressed. The large curved sword at his waist got my attention.

I remembered the knives Christof usually carried in the small of his back. I could end my fertility with one of those. A few good pokes and I would be unusable for this purpose. Rose hadn't died, only been rendered unable to bear young. I wondered if I could do that, too.

"NO," Damien roared watching my eyes, "that is unacceptable," he fumed.

I had been staring at the weapon openly and they'd caught me. Damien stood up looking ready to pummel something. He told Evan he wanted those men here tonight to fix the cabinet. This situation was currently unsustainable.

I shut my eyes and tears fell again. They were locking the cabinet with the weapons. Any opportunity I had to end this was being stripped from me.

"Enough with this line of thought," Christof scolded. "I expected better from you. You must trust us."

The men from the village came quickly at Evan's request. None of them must have had human ancestry. They didn't even notice the bound and gagged slave that sat in Christof's lap. Instead, they installed what was most likely the only lock in the entire compound without question.

"Push here and here," I heard the locksmiths say, "it will pop right open, just like the cuffs."

"The...slave cannot open it?" Damien asked bluntly.

"No, sir, the fingers the slaves have are too weak to work the mechanism. It is exactly the same as we put on their cuff and collars."

Evan paid them and they left, happily talking about what they wanted to buy.

The apartment was quiet after they were gone. I looked up to find everyone staring at me. No one looked happy.

Frankly, I wasn't happy either. My jaw ached, I was thirsty, and I had to pee. I looked longingly at a jug on the table and then back at Christof.

Damien crouched before me and held my chin with his fingers.

"You cannot bite yourself," he said solemnly. "Nu-reeh will have us remove your teeth if you use them against your own flesh. Understand this well, Sister. Don't make us do this to you."

I sucked in air and shook my head. Having seen one of my uncles lose all his teeth to poor hygiene I knew how funny that looked.

"I can give you nutrients by chewing for you and letting you swallow," Bane said quietly. "It would be unpleasant and you will not like it, don't give Nu-reeh a reason to do that to you."

I shook my head back and forth. My eyes were huge and I tried to use them to beg. I'd go crazy if they took my teeth.

"If we feel it is necessary, you will wear the gag most of the day," Damien said. "That will cause you a great deal of discomfort, but we must protect you."

Desperate to apologize the sound just came out garbled and muffled. Either Damien understood or he was just being nice. Reaching behind my head I felt him fiddling with the latch.

"We have seen you bite your fingers before," Damien threatened, "don't let us see that again. Others are watching you now, too. You must do as Nu-reeh wishes."

Once the gag was undone I tried to beg, apologize, and plead. My mouth just would not work right. Now released from bondage my jaw ached something terrible.

"Hush," Christof said, "your jaw will be sore. Stretch it out until it feels better."

I did as he ordered as he rose and carried me to the table. Kein fed me a drink with little sips. Soon the thirst was manageable, but I drank my fill.

Once I was done, I tried to explain to Christof.

"This is too much for me to bear," I pleaded. "There must be another way."

My men were sad and troubled as Christof spoke.

"One day we will find a way out," he promised me. "Live for us until then."

Tears ran down my face as I looked at them, all of them. I loved them, yes, but what was being asked was too much.

Bane picked me up and took me to the lavatory. He pulled up my short dress and sat me on the pot. I felt ridiculously prim sitting there with my legs bound tightly together. Here I was in a bathroom with five men waiting for me to pee, sitting like properEnglishroyalty. I smiled at the irony of it.

"What made you smile?" Christof asked as we headed to the sleeping chamber.

"It's complicated," I said expecting him to drop it; he didn't.

The men made me explain the whole thing and it was a very long story, I thought.

While we talked they sat me on the bed. The lights were extinguished until the only light came from the moons outside the window. They were stretching out and yawning. I guessed it was bedtime.

"Small things still make you happy," Bane said as they untied the bonds on my arms.

I sighed with relief until they were retied in front of me.

"We will continue to try to make you happy," Kein said as he looped the rope around the pole at the center of the bed. "If you still enjoy small things that is good. Soon you will lose this foolish death wish."

"Or at least understand we will not allow it," Evan said as he stripped off his pants and shirt.

Damien was before me in the moonlight and he put his face right in front of mine. "Will you attempt to harm yourself with your teeth?" he asked seriously.

"No," I answered quickly and emphatically.

The look on my face seemed to satisfy them for the moment and Damien stepped away into shadows.

"Masters?" I asked cautiously looking around in the dim light.

"We are not that," Damien said sadly, "never that again. We love you, Sister. This is for your protection, please understand."

"May I explain that I do not wish to die, Masters?" I said ignoring his comment and wiggling around like a worm. "I foolishly thought of my human friend when I saw Master Evan's blade. She was cut in the lower stomach and lost the organ to bear a child. It was a stupid thought and I apologize-"

"Hush, Ciara," Damien commanded, "stop calling us that name and go to sleep. We will relent when we no longer fear for your safety. Your words to us are meaningless and I will not listen to them again. Tomorrow you will talk with your friend, that will help."

Damn their perception, there was no way out of this. They'd leave me 'safe' until I somehow proved myself. Frankly, I had no idea how to do that. I couldn't move and I couldn't speak. I settled down and stared at Bane beside me, he started to snore lightly in a matter of moments.

Hopefully, sleep would take me soon, too.

I should have anticipated the nightmares. Stressed in mind and bound in body, rest did not come easily. I woke once screaming as Bane soothed me and once with Kein. The dreams didn't stop until they put the cream on my head.

The next day I woke to whispers, female whispers. Dragging open my eyes, Fuji squealed with delight and the men in the apartment fussed at her.

"We have Keepers today for just us," Rose said leaning over me and smiling wanly.

The men lifted me to stand, which I did on shaky legs. My lower half must have been unbound by Damien and his Brothers at some point. My arms were left tied.

I was walked to the bathroom and freshened. They brushed my hair and cleaned my teeth. Feeling slightlyzombielike, I just did as they asked.

In the kitchen the Keepers sat me on my chair and fed me. They didn't request I kneel and they didn't seem bothered that I sat or that I was dressed. Looking quickly at their arms, I noted not one of them had human ancestry. Damien and his Brothers had thought this out. These men were the perfect Keepers.

After my late breakfast, Fuji, Rose, and I moved back to the bedroom and sat on the bed. I was tethered to the center by a cord on my neck, but my arms were unbound. Our little pad was handed to us and we were instructed to do what needed to be done.

I really needed to talk to Rose and I even had permission, but we had a job now. When Fuji took the pad, I was thrilled. Her owners had instructed her to participate. She was going to draw pictures to go with the story. The men had told her that would be good.

For a moment we sat silently as Fuji diligently worked. Rose finally broke the silence.

"You must really have screwed up," she said quietly inEnglish.

A sharp retort stopped the conversation. A Keeper appeared in the door and spoke to us. We were ordered to speak in the language our owners gave us. The language Rose had used was not acceptable.

After an apology from Rose the men said they were Keepers for the Administrators. The secrets of this world were known to them. I was a breeder and the other slaves were for my health. We should talk freely.

"Yes, sir," I said gratefully and he turned away.

I watched them wander back to the table before I spoke again. My voice broke as I spoke to Rose, "I don't know how to fix it. They are so upset with me."

Rose's beautiful eyes met mine and she nodded, encouraging me to continue. Fuji was engrossed in what she was doing on the pad. It seemed like it was just Rose and me in the room. One Keeper kept an eye on us through the open door, but he didn't seem to be listening closely. It felt private.

"I wanted to hurt myself and I tried to hit the wall," I whispered to Rose. "Then...and then I said it to them, I told them I didn't want to live. It made them all angry with me."

She wanted to know why I was thinking like that, so I told her. It had been the wrong thing to think about and I'd known that at the time. The situation just seemed so hopeless.

"My sons will leave me. My daughters won't be able to see me. I will just create them until I am drained!" I wailedhugginga pillow.

Rose petted my head and whispered soothing words. As we sat, I found strange comfort in the fabric I was gripping. Bane's scent was on the pillow, it was his and it smelled of him. I pulled it closer and cried harder.

"I've never met most of my Brothers," Fuji announced suddenly. "Males of my species leave as soon as they can, before their male breeder eats them."

The statement was not meant to be funny, but with my out of control emotions it made me giggle. Fuji just continued to work, completely unfazed. Rose met my eyes and she was trying desperately not to laugh.

"I don't think Ciara's Masters will eat her male young," Rose said with confidence.

Fuji seemed to think it was a risk and continued to draw. Finally I lay back against the bed and curled into a ball. Rose stroked my arm and I spoke quietly to her.

"They don't want to forgive me. I've made them so angry..." I whispered pulling Bane's pillow closer to my chest.

Rose snuggled beside me and we lay there quietly cuddling for some time.

"You are a slave," Rose whispered. "I think it is harder for you because you are not treated as we are. It is the truth and you must accept it. A good slave accepts their owner's plan. You must do that now."

"But my children-" I started to say and Rose interrupted.

The children were not mine; they belonged to Nu-reeh. It wasn't a choice.

"If they are killed or too weak to survive, I will be at fault. I brought them into this unprepared," I cried.

"It is without value for you to concern yourself with that," Rose said into my hair. "It is not a choice you can make. Your life is not your own and your children are not your own. Your owner will deal with them."

I nodded and let silent tears fall. She was right. I could fight or acquiesce. The outcome would be the same. The only victims were my feelings on the matter.

"Do you wish to die?" Rose asked.

I thought for a moment and the answer was definitely 'no'. Obviously I wanted out of this horrible situation, but that didn't mean death. I wanted to live.

"No, I still want to survive," I finally said.

"Good," Rose praised, "now you must relax and accept your fate."

Rose was defeated long before I arrived here and I knew that. I still had some will of my own, but it was being stripped from me. We were slaves, used at our owners discretion until we had no more to give. It was the outcome I had feared from the beginning.

We lay curled together on the bed for a long while. Neither of us spoke, the only sound in the room was Fuji's working on the pad. Eventually my breathing evened out and I calmed some.

"Ciara," Rose whispered after the tears had dried, "teach me to read."

I sat up and Rose sat up with me. She looked really excited. Her eyes were shining, but she tried to maintain a calm demeanor.

Much to Fuji's dismay we took the little pad back. I used it to begin teaching Rose the simplest pieces of the language. It was more difficult than when I learned, but of course she wasn't bonded to a Warrior right now.

Fuji watched us with utter disinterest. She only occasionally interrupted to remind us we weren't supposed to be doing this. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"I like to teach and Rose likes to learn, Fuji. This is fun. I know it's not what we're supposed to be doing. Maybe we work some this afternoon, would that make you happy?" I asked feeling exasperated.

Damien's voice surprised me so badly I dropped the pad on the bed.

"Is this what we left you to do?" he questioned stepping into the room.

My back touched the pole at the center of the bed and my eyes were wide. He just stood staring at me with his arms crossed.

"Well?" he asked stepping in farther.

"Yes...No, I'm not sure," I finally answered.

He didn't say anything and walked slowly toward the bed. Behind him I heard Rose and Fuji's owners calling them to come and eat. I didn't even glance at them, my eyes stayed on Damien.

The girls slipped off the bed and left. Damien continued to watch me with his arms folded across his chest. He looked contained, but I couldn't tell much more than that.

I started to speak and he held a hand up to silence me, so I just stayed quiet.

Damien walked until is thighs were flush with the bed. He motioned me closer to him and I moved quickly toward him. I was stretching the leash on my neck tight, but it brought me within a handspan of him.

"You were a good girl this morning," he praised suddenly reaching forward and releasing the strap around my neck. "If it helps with your project, I will ask Basin if his slave may learn the symbols. Would that make you happy?"

I nodded and smiled up at him. "Yes, it would help if she knew how to make the symbols. I enjoy teaching her, also."

Damien smiled back at me and offered a hand to help me off the bed. I stood before him and had the sudden need to be close. Wrapping my arms around his waist Ihuggedhim tight. He returned the affection, holding me for a moment. I felt his lips on my hair and knew he was kissing my head.

"Come and eat," he said coaxing me out into the main room.

Rose and Fuji knelt at the table and took their meals from their owners' fingers. I didn't see a place for me to kneel. Damien guided me to a chair and sat me down. I looked up at him questioningly.

"Eat your midday meal, Ciara," he said placing a bowl in front of me.

The other men made no sounds as Damien sat casually beside me.

The food in the bowl was good, mostly. It seemed to be fruit mixed with some sort of meat. The meat was chewy and oily, I did not like it at all.

It didn't take Damien more than a moment to realize I was picking out what I liked. He took the bowl and fed me himself. He mixed the fruit and meat, making me eat it together. Begrudgingly, I admitted it was pretty good that way.

While we ate, he talked to Basin. Our daytime assignments would be easier if Rose understood the symbols. Damien requested I be allowed to teach Rose. After watching Rose for a moment, Basin agreed.

After lunch Damien pulled me into the closet with our clothes. He stripped off my night dress and picked out simple pieces of ornamentation for me. As he hooked the delicate metal clasps to my collar and around my waist, I looked at the locked weapons cupboard.

There was no way I was getting to the weapons in the apartment. The door was closed and appeared to be secured with a solid piece of metal. Damien noticed my attention and frowned.

"I was curious what the men did last night," I said honestly. "There were things on my world you would have used, but I've never seen anything like that here."