A Slave to the Servants Ch. 23

Damien watched my eyes and I saw his features soften slightly. He showed me how the lock worked by pressing on either side of it. His fingers somehow indented the solid looking metal. When he removed his hand the metal snapped back into place. I never would have seen the mechanism if he had not pointed it out. The door swung open before he latched it closed again.

"Your collar and cuffs work the same way," he said watching me intently. "Your fingers will not be strong enough to open this door."

"Thank you," I said softly looking down at my wrist.

I'd wondered how they removed the solid looking metal. Evidently that was how they did it.

Fingers under my chin nudged my face up, until I was looking into Damien's steel grey eyes. I had seen his eyes blaze in anger and passion. Once, I'd seen defeat reflected in them. Now, I saw grave concern.

Ages ago I'd seen this worry. When Christof refused to join their minds and held himself separate, it had upset them. The family and its health were more important than anything. Damien again carried the look of a man with the world on his shoulders, all because of me.

"My love," I said stroking down his face, "please don't worry."

Damien brought his face within inches of mine. His hands cupped the back of my head so I couldn't move away from his scrutinizing stare.

"Prove to me," he ordered harshly, "that this is all unnecessary. Be a strong member of this family and bear our burden with grace. We would not survive without our Sister. You must understand this."

I was too stunned to speak. A moment later Damien led me out of the closet.

I was tied in the main room this time. My leash was long enough I could sit on the furniture or dance with my friends, which I was instructed to do.

"You will not be able to touch the fire," Damien informed me coldly.

For a moment I was confused and looked at the low burning fire. I'd never burned myself since I'd been here. As a matter a fact I hated burns, the stinging drove me nuts.

I'd expressed a foolish desire to harm myself, though. They weren't sure how I was going to do it. Of course they'd prevent me from getting too close to the fire.

Sighing, I wished Damien a good afternoon and he left.

Rose, Fuji, and I did as our Masters had ordered. We played instruments and danced with one another for the afternoon. When we were tired we sat and I taught Rose symbols.

My family came home and didn't seem to listen to me again. They were furious or just fed up, I couldn't tell which. Either way, I felt like isolated and lonely. I missed the closeness they usually invited me to share with them.

It would be wrong to say they didn't touch me. One of them had a hand on me at all times. Every move I made was monitored and contained.

As we walked to the bathhouse Bane held my upper arm.

They must think I would jump off the balcony, I mused.

There wasn't a chance of that happening. I abhorred the feeling of falling. It would not be my preferred method of suicide, not like I could tell them that. They didn't want to hear me speak.

Damien allowed me to wash him, although Kein watched me closely. I sighed and ran my hands over the defined muscles in Damien's torso. I traced his faint scars and rubbed his muscular physique.

These men were definitely not counselors, but then I knew that. They were Warriors, trained to fight. Dealing with a suicidal human was not in their skill set.

Evan took Damien's place and I rubbed and twisted his hair. They had no idea how to change my mind on this, but they'd probably recognize when it was different. If I wanted back into the family, I had to acquiesce.

I sighed again.

This would be hard. Giving up control, even when I didn't really have it, would be difficult. I just had to have faith. Trouble with that was I'd never had much faith. Being enslaved on an alien planet hadn't really helped with that. It wasn't going to be easy.

I remembered our conversation in the apartment when this situation started. Kein had used the word escape. It was something to hope for, a bright spot to center my sanity on.

Another sigh as I rinsed Evan's hair.

Love the children when I had them and have faith that they would be protected afterward. That would be so hard. I'd probably drown the apartment in tears. It would be a hard fight to hang onto my sanity.

Evan pulled away from me and dunked his head. He turned toward me shaking out the braids I'd been putting in. The room seemed to close in as Bane and Christof stepped into the pool on either side of me. Kein still sat behind me.

"Why do you breathe so loudly?" Evan asked unwinding a four piece braid from the underside of his hair.

"Perhaps she is ill?" Bane asked quietly stepping closer.

His eyes scrutinized me, but he looked confused.

"Is that a...cou-ghthat the Healers speak of?" Christof asked quietly when I turned to look at him.

The word was inEnglishand Christof had said it with the emphasis on the wrong syllable. I understood what he meant and shook my head silently.

"A'cough'sounds different, harsher," I told them sincerely. "I think I was sighing. It's just breathing out loudly. I'm not ill."

It was the truth, but they still looked concerned. The worried looks didn't stop and soon I knew why.

The Healers came that night. Damien and his Brothers didn't mention my suicidal thoughts. Unlike normal they seemed edgy and nervous around the Healers. When the Healers mentioned I had not been at the Keepers today Damien's face took on a look of steel.

This must be what he feared to tell them, so I relieved him of the duty.

"I did not sleep well, Healer," I murmured innocently. "I had bad dreams, for some reason. My owners allowed me to sleep late and stay close to their scents. I like to be near my owners' things. My friends stayed with me."

It wasn't a lie, which I sensed the Healers would be able to detect. It was the truth. I'd spent the morning wrapped around Bane's pillow. Rose and Fuji had been here with me.

"Only speak to us," Damien chastised gently from the side and I looked into his eyes.

He wasn't angry, but I couldn't quite discern the emotion behind his features.

The Healers seemed surprised I'd spoken, but recorded the information. If the poor sleep continued I should be allowed to rest some in the day, they told Damien. Humans may need that, but a regular schedule at night should prevent it. They would intervene if the problem persisted long enough.

Once the Healers left, the men looked at me. I was calmer than I had been and I guess it showed. They didn't bind me and allowed me to knit with purposefully dull needles while they played a game like chess. Christof kept looking at me, but he didn't speak.

It shouldn't surprise me, I knew. These men had no idea what was going on with me or how to fix it. They were confused and upset. We didn't want to lose each other, but none of us knew what to do for the other.

We got ready for bed and Bane held a strip of leather. If they wanted to bind me, I wouldn't stop them, but he seemed hesitant. In deference to their desire I offered him my hands to tie. Damien finally settled on tying one of my wrists to a long leash. I couldn't get up from the bed, but was otherwise free to move.

I slept fine and woke up when they did. Evan cleaned and fed me, but they didn't take me to the transport. The same Keepers from yesterday showed up right before Rose and Fuji did.

The men left silently and I sat on the bed with my friends. Once again, I was tethered with a simple tie around my neck.

"Give me," Fuji demanded, grabbing our work pad. "You prevented me from doing the work I was told to do yesterday."

Without a pause she was hooked into the system and drawing pictures of her owners. I watched curiously as her hands drew exact replicas of the men who owned her. She diagramed quite expertly the way they held their weapons.

Rose had my attention after a moment more.

"Have you heard more from Hannah?" she asked quietly.

No, I had not. I bemoaned the long periods of time that would exist between Hannah's messages. How I longed to see her again. If only I had been able to spend more time with her last time she was here...

"She loves you," Rose said casually, "like anydaughterwould love hermother.Except for the Sister she found, you are the only creature on the planet that must truly care for her."

A tear formed in my eye thinking about Hannah. We had such a short time together, but were connected in such a primal way. I missed her dearly.

"Imagine if you were not here to receive the next message she sends..." Rose said suddenly and I almost forgot to breath. "What would she think if she dropped into the forest by the Keepers' and you never came in or went out?"

My eyes were wet with tears imagining Hannah's expressive face crushed by my strange disappearance.

"Could you really end your life knowing you would never be able to explain it to her?" Rose asked in the same soft voice.

I thought I would throw up and fought the feeling. No, I could never leave Hannah like that. She would never understand. How could she? Hannah had memories, but she was still a child.

I was on the bed crying like a maniac, but Rose would not stop. I couldn't hurt myself, it would only end up hurting my baby. Hannah would never understand and never forgive me.

I agreed with Rose and begged her to stop. She refused and continued to push. She talked about the anger and resentment Hannah would have. No one on this world would understand it, poor Hannah would bear the burden alone.

By lunch time Rose had broken me. I was a crying mess on the bed. Christof came to feed me and I begged for forgiveness. I swore to him I would never hurt Hannah that way.

He tried to feed me and I threw it up. Eventually he fed me root and put a touch of calming cream on my head. In the back of my mind I was beginning to feel a little dependent on the stuff. Ridiculous really to come to an alien place and get addicted.

"Rest, Ciara," he said softly stroking my hair.

"No more," I begged him, "please make her stop, Christof. I can't take anymore."

"We are satisfied," he said quietly. "No more is needed. You understand now, that is good."

The cream on my head left me hazy and relaxed. That volume used didn't remove my memories, though. As Rose and Fuji played a card game on the bed, I realized what they'd done.

They'd used Rose to get to me. She was obviously better versed in the delicate art of human psyche than Damien and his Brothers. They didn't talk to me because they didn't want to screw up her work.

"Rose?" I called quietly.

My eyes were shut because the cream made me dizzy, but I felt her leaning over me. Her slender hands were on my upper arms and her breath was on my cheek as she answered. She was such a tiny yet powerful creature.

"Did they ask you to make me...see reason?"

She leaned on me a little more fully, but still there was almost no weight at all.

"It is not my place to say," she said softly backing away and going back to her game with Fuji.

Of course not, I thought as I let my mind wander. She was an obedient slave, she'd not speak out of turn. Still, I pushed.

"They won't know," I told her cracking one eye open.

"Yes, Ciara, they will know. Now stop with this. You know what you must do and now you have a good reason to do it. Hannah is a good reason, I'm glad you understand that."

"Yes."

"Then sleep for a little while," she said as I drifted off.

The men came back to me late that night looking dirty and scuffed, but relieved. They stripped out of their dirty garments and I saw bruises on them, but no bad wounds.

As I watched them disrobed, they watched me. None of them said anything though. They looked relaxed despite their disheveled appearance.

Their actions spoke for them. They took me off my tether and they didn't put one back on. When we left the apartment, no one restrained me. I took these as signs that had relented and were forgiving me. Since they didn't talk about it, I didn't either. Instead I commented on their appearance.

"Was there a fight?" I asked as we walked down to the bathhouse.

"Men from the compound on the other side of the great barren stretch," Christof told me. "They were bandits and have been raiding the traveling men. We found them after the midday meal. It was quite a battle. Several groups escaped, but we brought one family before the General."

"Very good," I praised.

I wondered if my sons would be outlaws or bandits. It was a possibility. Those men seemed to keep the Warriors happy, so that was good. It was a delicate balance the women allowed the men to have here.

I was a little clumsy, but still managed to make Damien grunt happily as I rubbed him. Tonight I washed all of them, even Christof slid under my hands. I smoothed my palms over each of them and felt them melt a little under the caresses.

The pool was nearly deserted when I was done. I looked up and glanced furtively around. There was almost no one here. I'd never heard it so quiet.

"Increased patrols to find the bandits," Bane said answering the unasked question. "We would usually have taken a night patrol as well, but we have...other responsibilities."

I shuddered and looked at my own belly in the water. "I am fertile then?"

Hands gripped my arms and pulled me back until I rested in Damien's lap.

"No, Sister," he whispered in my ear, "you were unwell. We needed to watch over you. Leaving you with Keepers at night is not acceptable. The Healers want you monitored by those that know you well."

Christof chuckled and used the cloth I had been cleaning them with to wash one arm as Kein washed my legs. "The Healers knew you would come back to yourself quickly when you spoke to them. They heard the desire in your voice to stay with us. You wished to hide your illness. They knew we had not upset you."

"No, it wasn't you-" I started to say and was stopped.

"We know," Damien said softly, "we understand. Do you understand now?"

"I must not refuse the women," I said softly, "I must do as they ask. There is no simple escape for me."

"Correct," Damien said and then he whispered in my ear. "Do not leave us," he begged softly. "We will find a way out, but stay with us."

His eyes reflected the emotion of the entire family. I also felt the turmoil and the desire for freedom. We were not giving up, but this was not a fight we could win, yet.

I was cleaned in the water, much like I usually cleaned them. Once they were done we retired upstairs to have dinner. It was a simple meal tonight.

Unlike the last two nights I was left free when we laid down to rest. The men were happy and relaxed. In a strange way, so was I. There were no more thoughts of death or destruction in my mind. I didn't worry anymore about what would or could happen. It just wasn't my place to have those concerns.

Whatever would happen, would just have to happen. For the second time on this planet I accepted my role as a slave. To survive in that role, I would do what I was told.

At least, until escape was an option.

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Please return on Nov 30, 2011 (my goal date). Thank you for reading and pleasevote.