A Slow Descent Pt. 02

Inside the office bathroom I cleaned up and put on some clean clothes. Before leaving for home I called my doctor. I didn't bother ringing the surgery, they would still be there but I didn't want to talk to the receptionist. The doctor had given me her private mobile number when I'd helped her buy a house and later an investment property. She answered on the fourth ring and asked if I could wait a minute. She was surprised to hear from me and a little shocked at my request. I organized to meet her before her surgery officially opened at nine the next morning.

Walking in the front door at home was very hard, I felt different, and surely they would notice. Every time I noticed one of my family looking at me I wondered what they saw. Could the children see the signs their mother was a cheating slut? Would Jim smell the scent of another man on me? In the shower at work the cum was still oozing out of me. When I ate dinner I thought I could still taste him in my mouth. Jim asked if anything was wrong. I feigned a headache and went to bed.

The next morning I was at the back door to the doctor's surgery at eight thirty. Dr. Jones got there at eight forty five. She let us in and showed me to one of the consulting rooms. After a few minutes looking through a locker containing various drugs she found what she was looking for and bought it over to me.

"Here you go, there are four pills. You take two now and two tonight. You may notice some spotting in the next couple of days and your next period could be a week early or a week late. It may also be longer and heavier than normal. If it doesn't come at all, then you best come and see me."

I turned the box over in my hands. I could feel my face was flushed with embarrassment.

"Are there any side effects?" I asked trying to sound in control.

"No, only the spotting in some cases. Hopefully the only effect is you won't be pregnant." Dr. Jones sat down at her desk and pressed the on button of her laptop. "Is there anything you want to talk to me about?"

"No" I said softly, I just wanted to get out of there.

"Do you want a prescription for the pill?" The look of horror on my face caused her to explain. "I guess I want to know if this ... situation is going to happen again. The morning after pill is not reliable enough for continual use. It's called emergency contraception for a reason." She said quickly.

"Oh no, no, it was just a mistake. One moment of weakness, that's all." I replied looking down.

The doctor tapped on her keyboard and the printer next to it whirred into life. When the printed sheet appeared Dr. Jones signed it then past it to me.

"You don't have to get it filled but if you change your mind it's for three months of the low dose progesterone pill."

I tried to give it back but she refused to take it. Standing again she put her arm around my shoulders.

"Don't worry, these walls have no ears or eyes. You weren't the first person to make a mistake and you won't be the last. Don't be so hard on yourself."

She led me back to the back door and let me out. I took two pills in the car with a swig of water then went to work. Work was no better than home, Cindy didn't show up which wasn't totally unexpected. For some reason Jane and Annie's schoolgirl giggling was more annoying than usual. I went out on the road but I just couldn't think straight.

Back at the office Annie was out so it was a little better. Going through my e mails I found one from the state tourism board. They were having a four day promotion of regional attractions in the city. Coloons Bay was in the middle of a stretch of seaside towns collectively known as the Holiday Coast. I was the chairperson of a committee in charge of promotion for the district and we had organized to have a presence in the city function.

Three other members of the committee were going to the city for five days. I'd decided not to go but now, maybe getting away from Coloons Bay was the right thing to do. It would correspond with the last week our visitors would be at the Tyler mansion. Was running away the right answer? I pondered that question and decided that given my lack of willpower it may be the only way.

I messaged the other members of the committee to let them know I would now be going to the promotion. The rest of the afternoon was taken up with organizing accommodation and clearing my diary for that week. I left work around four thirty telling Jane to lock up when she left. In the car I fished the other two "morning after" pills out of the console and swallowed them. Ripping the box into small pieces I deposited the litter in the bin near the back door.

I got the spotting, then a few days later my period came early and it was ugly. I have always been a woman who suffers through her cycle. Cramping, head and body aches along with general malaise. This one was like my usual on steroids and it lasted seven days. I went back to the doctor as I thought the extent of extra bleeding must have meant something was wrong. She assured me it wasn't and suggested if I usually had bad period pain then maybe going back on the pill may help.

"It regulates the hormones and in most cases can alleviate some of the common menstrual issues."

I filled the prescription the next day, now that there was a medical reason to do so. When I finally started feeling better I put it down to karma, I'd done the wrong thing and now I was being punished. However my family may have thought they were being punished as well having to live through it with me.

Still I counted it a blessing, it focused my resolve and I didn't return to the Tyler mansion. Cindy and Jane spoke in hushed tones of little else when they thought they were alone. I think Annie was like me, a one-time thing, a moment of weakness or a guilty pleasure. When Jim fucked me I couldn't help compare and contrast. 10K or Ezekiel had given me the most intense sexual experience of my life but that wasn't love. Jim loved me although sometimes he hid it well. I put it down to his upbringing. His family weren't renowned as "huggers" and didn't talk about feelings. Still I was sure that he would stand by me. That increased the feelings of guilt for what I had done.