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Click hereWhile stuck inside her pussy to his balls, she grunted and discharged an ovum that squirted into his cream, "Mm," she moaned. "Ahh ahh, oh my, oh my, breed my pussy, breed my pussy," she kept repeating.
He had so much sperm built up it took a while to release it all out, but boy did it feel good, groaning aha, as it kept flooding into her pussy.
With her eyes closed, she said, "Keep pumping those babies inside my pink-white belly!"
The Commander had impregnated another female as her pussy muscles continued sucking his Cock, and her sperm sac was draining the remaining sperm from his balls.
While this was going on, it caused the most intensive pleasure sex can give a female from their planet. Momentarily Noi'plilta was lost in this involuntary procedure; thus, she was unaware of the commanders impending intentions.
He slowly grabbed an organic-looking strap of some of her organic clothing and grabbed the woman from behind, not allowing her to look at him, tying her up, then put another one over her eyes. Looking back at her now, he studied her pussy, but not a drop of sperm came running out.
She said, with a muffled sound, "What are you doing; let me go!"
"Wow," he said, "I am free."
"I better get out of here while I have the chance." He hurried to get on his stealth suit and boots, headed towards the door, peeping out. He left the room and locked it.
Lisa followed the biosignature and saw the house, then the Commander peeping out.
She motioned to him; he caught her eyes. He ran out towards her; they grabbed each other, hugging, "Girl, you are a sight for sore eyes," he exclaimed.
Tlipion at the leadership building
Meanwhile, Tlipion was at the Megaplex Edifice Building; she conferred with other leaders from many villages.
They had gathered to confront the loss of the males' plummeting population; a significant age gap had developed. The women were not affected when the radiation hit, but the males started dying shortly after. When this happened, many women went out on a hunt to find any males that would have survived; only a few they knew did not escape and remain at large to this day.
Due to the ability to store up the valuable life seed, many females who caught males had to give up their sperm sac to the storage bank. The Office for reproduction controlled the process of the women who qualified. The only females allowed to have babies placed inside them had to be between 20 and 32.
Tlipion asked, "Is there some operation going on that is enhancing the male's ability to survive the radiation?"
She was told," Yes."
She then asked, "Were there side-effects to this that you know of?"
Then they answered "Yes" again.
She then asked again, "What are these side-effects?"
There was silence as the panel of leaders discussed how to answer her, then they said," Only thing we can tell you is that none of the side-effects are harmful to society."
Just then, her oldest sister Ia'lena came running in and conferring to Tlipion.
The leadership committee asked," What is going on?"
Ia'lena was the village leader of the Azulla's; she approached the panel, saying," There was a dire emergency at their home could she leave, and that she'll explain later."
They said, "Well, of course."
Then the Azulla girls went running out.
Commander Scott and Science Officer Lisa were en-route to the stealth ship when they came across a group coming up from the West's cobblestone road.
The Commander said, "Lisa, stop,"
She said, "What?"
He said, "look to your left," when she saw the woman.
She said, "Wow, alien people, their females?"
He said, yeah, but these girls kept me bottled up for hours; I just escaped.
She whispered, "how, why were they holding you?"
He said, "shh, whispering let them pass on through."
Then remembering the smelling in the air-sensing men, he said to himself quietly, "Oh no, we are going to get caught for sure." Then quick-thinking saying, "Lisa get in front of me and shield me." She did not question it. She just did as commanded.
The group passed on by, "Whew," the Commander sighed.
They both reached the landing ship and prepared to get underway.
Tlipion and Ia'lena made it back to the organic house, walking in, finding no one there, but hearing muffled sounds coming from the sealed room, unlocking it, and finding Noi'plilta all tied up.
They untied her and, at the same time and said, "What happened!"
She explained what the Commander did, how he escaped.
"Hmm," Ia'lena thought," A cunning male, huh?" Then said to Noi'plilta," You caused me to miss getting a baby!"
She said, "No, I saved a lot, I made him fill me up good, now you know I promised you.' 'But look, I am pregnant. I can't wait to hold my baby girl."
Tlipion then said, "girls, we need to go find that male!"
So, they all hurried to the door stepping out; Ia'lena said," let us combine our smell sense. Perhaps we can detect him; he cannot be gone that far. You girls, we better find him; first, we will get into trouble for not reporting a male, especially if he did not pass when you drained him out Tlipion."
They found a faint male smell east, so off they went as fast as they could go eastward down the cobblestone road.
While the Commander was at the helm, Lisa said," Oh wait, we need to secure the repair pod. I was going so fast trying to find you; it'll only take me a few minutes."
Commander Scott knotted his head in approval; he just wanted to get out of here.
Lisa got back and said, "let's go."
The Commander pushed the craft in gear with the stealth shielding, and slowly the ship lifted.
The Azulla's girls came across the women from the nearby village called the Maliena's, coming up the cobblestone road from the West; they stopped and looked at Tlipion.
Saying," Where are you girls going so fast?"
One of them said, look, two of them are pregnant; where did you get males? The Maliena's females were looking suspiciously at them.
Then the five of them heard a noise coming from the woods; the Maliena's girls turned around, looking up, so did the Azulla girls. But no one could see anything, only strange sounds they had never heard before in their lives. Then something shot off way up into the air.
The Commander strapped in with Lisa as the ship left the planet's atmosphere headed towards their orbiting vessel, the Enigma.
Ia'lena walked away from the rest of the girls holding Commander Scott's tracking pin. She looked at it then placed it in the lining of her garment. She turned around looking in the area of the sky where she heard the strange noise, saying to herself," My male one, I will meet you again, and when I do, it won't be my baby sister you will be dealing with, but the leader of the Azulla's." She walked away, going towards their organic house.
The other girls asked her if she would look for the male one? She did not answer; she just kept walking down the cobblestone road.
To be continued...
- COMMENTS
yourcardover 3 years agoAuthorTo all Literotica critics.
I have heard my stories are good but may need better editing, okay I can except that I am a mature adult.
Why not be supportive offering assistance.
Be an editor, help people with their stories you like, but feel needs better writing structure.
So, if I don't have an English degree, don't write?
Show the better part of human beings, share your excellent writing ability.
yourcardover 3 years agoAuthorFirst of all your anonymous give's you no credibility to me at all, it show's your cowardice in giving advice. I have several college degree's but obviously English isn't one of them.
My daughter has a bachelors degree in communication, but I am not going to ask her to help me in any Literotica story.
I am not trying to win a Nobel prize in literature, just a story of humans working together for once, that I never read.
Everyone may not know that ovaries/ovum are eggs so I had it clear for my audience.
I've try to read stories here get through the first page and it's full of crappy human interaction I am not interest in, but wrote very good.
You could help me even perhaps we could co-write a story but of course your anonymous - meaning? nah- just criticize is all you do.
Anonymousover 3 years agoWhen writing dialogue, each character's statement should be on a new line.
For example,
Bob said, "Hi", to the new receptionist.
"Good morning", she replied.
Also notice the quoted words are followed by a comma. They are only followed by a period if they end the sentence. Further, when someone replies to a statement, or answers a question, do not use 'said', use replied, or answered, (or the appropriate tense of the words.)
Cramming different character's statements into the same paragraph make reading them confusing.
Last thing on dialogue. ANYTHING a character says out loud must be in quotes. Internal thoughts don't have any hard rules, some people use an asterisk, (*), instead of quotes, others use a single quote, ('), and others use italics.
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Next, do not place comments or explanations in the text. For example, when you inserted an explanation about the sperm sacs in the alien females. Work it into the story, instead. Inserting your comments disrupts one aspect of something called, 'Suspension of Disbelief'. SoD is what you are asking readers to do when you write a crazy tale about a strange planet with gorgeous females with mind control, and telepathic speech.
Observing the importance of SoD is why fiction writers do massive research, (or have friends/resources who can help with technical details, to make a story more believable. With that said, in the Sci Fi/Fantasy genre, a writer has the freedom to create any kind of wacky or crazy scenario as long as they explain it through the story. (The sperm sacs is a good example. Nothing like that exists in hominid females, but your explanation was great, IF you had worked it into the story.)
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Something else to avoid is redundant, or duplicate words. The best example I can recall is 'ovum egg'. Ovum means egg, so what you were saying when you wrote that was these alien women had control over their egg eggs.
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You have the basis for a good story, the best things I can recommend for making it a top notch story is to keep searching for an editor. Not a proof-reader, THAT is your job as a writer. One of the first things I was taught/told in my first college writing classes was, "A writer re-writes. If you don't want to do the work, then don't write."
Sounds like something which might come from some old curmudgeon professor, but it actually came from the mouth of a beautiful, twenty-something grad student who was teaching the class; she was just passionate, and serious about writing as an art, and skill.
She also emphasized how important it is for a writer to develop as a technician, though she used the term, 'wordsmith', (think blacksmith, tinsmith, etc.) Developing technical skills as a writer involves developing vocabulary, learning punctutation rules, grammar rules, and constantly improving one's spelling, (unfortunately spell check alone is not enough, it is only the FIRST step in checking for misspelled words.)
After class one day, I came up with some goofy reason to talk to her, (as I said, she was a beautiful 20ish grad student, I was a couple of years older than most of my fellow students, and this WAS the '70's, after all.)
It didn't turn out as I hoped/planned, but she did tell me about something she had been taught, and credited as a major influence in enhancing her writing skills, as an undergrad.
She told me to read aloud my work during at least one of my re-write sessions. As I said, proofreading is the writer's job; you do it as you re-write. There should be multiple re-write sessions. As many as it takes to make the writer feel the work is good enough to let others read.
Read a loud as if you are reading to an audience, (a well sound proofed room may be necessary for Lit submitters, but it goes with the territory, AND subject matter.)
Reading a loud takes more brain power than quickly reading silently. This will keep your brain from fooling you into reading what you WANTED to write, instead of what you ACTUALLY wrote.
Additionally, as you are reading a loud, ANY time you stumble, stutter or hesitate, that passage needs work. If wrote it, and stumble over reading it, what is your reader gonna do?
I can say, after more than 45 years, since I was a horny college freshman, hoping I could hook up with the grad asst teaching my first writing class, and then spending 30+ years writing and editing for others in the academic/research 'genre', as well as writing technical info, how to's and other non-fiction 'stuff', the one thing which has had the most impact on improving my writing skills is reading my work out loud.
I discovered the power of the technique, and soon starting reading my work a loud on EVERY re-write, (used to drive my office neighbors nuts in grad school. Grad asst offices are not known for being large, or thick walled!)
Hope this helps your future work, and the re-writes these first two chapters desparately need.
Oh, one last thing. An editor is more than a proofreader, or should be, anyway. They are a writing partner. They will help find & fix plot snarls, dangling, unfinished story lines, and much, much more, IF you find a good one, who truly knows what an editor's role is.
As I said, I hope this helps.
Regards,
GeoD
