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Click hereMellissa got there and looked inside the lander to see the Commander and one of the planet's females in the capsule compartments stunned.
She said to take the girl to the medical bay but tell the Med bot to keep her sedated, then gave the Commander a medical spray to wake him up.
She also had spoken commands for the Mission Bot to meet her at the command room for a visual debrief. She knew from monitoring the Bot's data the females of the planet had detained Lisa.
Back on the planet in the bedroom
Ia'lena was blinded and stunned for just a moment, then shaking her head, getting the cobwebs out, said, "Oh no, what have I done, how could this have gone so wrong, what was that thing!?" then she saw the Commander's clothes on the floor and quickly stuffed them under her mattress, turned off the lights, diving into her bed.
Just then, the other girls, Noi'plita and Tlipion, knocked on the door calling Ia'lena's name. Hey, what is going on?
She did not answer them; she laid there for a moment, thinking about what had just happened. Placing a hand on her stomach, she knew something quite different had happened, and a strange new emotion she had never felt before had changed the way she thought about the Male-one. What was the thing that swooped up the Commander taking him away? It did not go as she had planned. His not being captured even though she had him right where she wanted him was a shock. How could things have gone so wrong?
Then Aa'luna came running from the valley, and ten other females knocked on her window, looking in, saying, "Ia'lena, are you okay?"
Another knock on the door, hey, is locked; let us in complained her sisters. She got up and unlocked the door; her robe covered her from behind, but her sisters saw that she was virtually naked from the front.
To be continued.
- COMMENTS
yourcardover 3 years agoAuthorI am going to answer a anonymous e-mail I just recently received concerning her/his rawallaces' comments to my story Zigrida.
First, of all rawallace having not gone through the first story far enough along to know the basic premise of the series, says this, " I found the quality of your writing has remained static." Static refers to character development, how can you go through part of a 4 part series and then say character development is lacking, after only reading 1/2 page of the first part of a 4 part series Is completely dishonest to say the least.
Second, any negative comment could have been sent anonymous and not openly, something anyone helpful wouldn't do.
Criticism should be done in a tasteful manor not in a smug no it all way.
Third, I 've gone through her or his stories, like I said I doubt this persons validity as a female after ready what they said a woman requires which was totally false and inaccurate. Finding stories this person wrote extremely boring and writing suspect.
Forth, What I do with anything in life for every criticism I give, I find a positive to go along with it. If I can find a positive then I do not comment at all. Of course if I am attacked, then all bets are off, period.
yourcardover 3 years agoAuthorTo all Literotica critics.
I have heard my stories are good but may need better editing, okay I can except that I am a mature adult.
Why not be supportive offering assistance.
Be an editor, help people with their stories you like, but feel needs better writing structure.
So, if I don't have an English degree, don't write?
Show the better part of human beings, share your excellent writing ability.
yourcardover 3 years agoAuthorrawallace. I went back and thought about your comment seeing biases, my guess us your a white man who has insecurity issues reading about the races having sex, i. e. white women, even if they are from another world. I write Sci-fi from a none racial point of view. My main goal is to write stories where the earths peoples are finally above racial issues and nationalism. I wish to read about stories where females are treated as wise and sexy not used, abused, and beaten up.
The people here at Literotica have gone over my stories and have protocols for review and re-writes, I have had some they sent back for re-writes in which I thanked them. So, no thanks for your opinion, advice your children, if your able to have any, not me.
yourcardover 3 years agoAuthorI do have someone who was suppose to help, me but she came down with Covid and is recovering. I also spoke with the editor staff here at Literotica but no one has took the case. I am just doing these stories for fun, I am not a serious writer, but find most stories I've read here full of mean men, dumb females, and the very sour of human life, people just aren't that bad, this the imagination most people have? I started making up my own stories finding I kind of like writing.
rawallaceover 3 years agoSorry. Having gone to the first story and getting far enough along to know the basic premise of the series, I found the quality of your writing has remained static- in short, there seem to be as many basic errors in this work as in the others.
You really need to find someone to read your rough drafts and provide comments to you. They don't need to be an English major, just someone that has a better grasp of good grammar and punctuation than what you possess. In fact, you might try using Grammarly from Goggle. There is a free version available that can really help you improve the flow of your work. Please keep writing. You have a great imagination.
