A Tale of Two Titties Ch. 04

As we finished our food my mind began to gnash and thrash around what was now my paramount problem. How in hell was I going to stand up in front of Terri without embarrassing her to death. After all, Little Stefan was trying to see if he could emulate the Empire State Building inside my running shorts!

Terri swallowed her last bite of food, took a deep breath, looked me directly in the eyes, and asked point blank, "What is wrong with me?"

"W, Wh, WHAT?"

"Well, with four children, I'm pretty sure that you're not gay. So either you don't like me or I've done something to piss you off! And it's not because I'm jail bait either!" She fumbled in her pack. "See! Here's my goddamn drivers license for proof!

"You've been a goddamn gentleman since we met! That was really appreciated at first. When you pulled up my shirt last night, half of me said, 'Omigod, I'm going to be raped,' and the other half said, 'So bullshit! We'll be warm!' By the time you finished massaging my shoulders I had gone from being afraid that I was going to be raped to being afraid that I was NOT going to be raped!

"You've had tons of chances to cop a feel and you haven't tried once! I flirt with you and either there is no reaction or you meet me halfway by treating it like a funny joke or a play on words that has nothing more to it than to lighten the mood.

"When we stood back to back by the creek and changed clothes, I cheated the whole time, but you didn't even try to peek at me! Here I am now on full display and you just sit there and eat your fucking lunch! By now anybody else would have raped me twenty times till Sunday—but not you!

"Except for the fact that you treat me like an equal human being, you act like you were my damned father or a stupid eunuch! Does snow on the roof mean the fire is out?"

I looked into the sky as Terri took a deep breath and exclaimed, "Oh God! Thank you!"

As for Terri, she suddenly looked like she was totally confused! "What are..."

"Whoa, Terri! YOU have made the first serious move! Thank you so very, very much! We have tons that we need to talk about and now you have opened the floodgates. "

"I don't..."

"No, no, please let me talk for now. I promise you'll get your chance and I promise I will answer to the best of my honest ability any and every question you may have to hit me with. Okay?"

"I, uh... well, okay..."

"First off, I need to answer your opening question. For your information, there is not a damned thing wrong with you that I have discovered—and here is the proof!" I stood up and pulled my running shorts down. I pulled the waistband out as I pulled the shorts down, but not quite far enough. Little Stefan was caught by the waistband and since he was the hardest I ever remember him being, he got pulled down painfully and then bounced energetically!

"Oh God, free at last! That feels so good!"

Terri's eyes got big, but I couldn't tell what the emotion was that was driving the reaction. "Terri, this has been my constant companion since the first time that I touched you! How many men have you ever met who called you ugly and still sported a stiffy that was this hard? Does this make you think that I can't stand you or that I can't tell the difference between you and a piece of furniture?"

"Well, uh... no..."

"Let me tell you that I sure wish that I had brought a jock strap with me this trip, because it's a real pain in the penis to act nonchalant around a woman that you don't want to embarrass!

"I'm curious. Was I so good about covering up that you never knew what was going on—or was it a calculated exercise to see how uncomfortable you could make a guy?"

Terri blushed, a beautiful full body blush, and replied, "Uh, I could tell you were hard last night, but you were asleep and I thought maybe it was like the morning wood that I've heard about. The rest of the time the shorts you have been wearing have been pretty baggy. Plus, I've tried to not be too gauche by staring at your crotch—especially seeing as how I couldn't catch you obviously checking me out very much."

"Trust me. If I was Superman, your backside would have a serious sunburn—if not burnt to a crisp! And I will admit that it was almost painful trying to maintain eye contact during lunch!"

Terri grinned, "Well, for an old fart, I did notice that you do seem to have a nice pair of buns back there... And you do have a lot more body hair than any guy I've been around before, but after I warmed up last night I was surprised that it wasn't distracting or seemed like it was in the way."

"Oh no, that sounds like a lead-in to a Neanderthal joke!"

Terri giggled—a comfortable in her skin and in the situation giggle, "No, that's one that I need to keep in reserve for future use."

"Okay, forewarned is forearmed. I will probably be able to survive your negative Neanderthal onslaught.

"However, we still need to slay this elephant in the room, so to speak. Moving on in that direction, I want to emphasize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Generally speaking, I guess you could say that we are victims of the human condition.

"If we need to pin a tail of blame on the donkey of our situation then, I guess we need to pin it onto a human culture that hasn't caught up with the twenty-first century—or at least with our current situation.

"Now some folks will say that humans are animals with souls. Others will say that humans are just animals. The bottom line is that almost everybody agrees that we are animals. As animals we have three imperatives; well, with some minor modifications they work for plants and other life forms too, but I'll keep the explanation mostly in our animal kingdom.

"Number one is to simply live. That means that our first priority is to run away or to fight back when something threatens us or the property that we need in order to survive. Today, lawyers call it the right of self-defense.

"Number two is to eat. If nothing is trying to kill us, then our mission is to kill something else to eat; whether that something else is a plant or an animal. In order to get the energy that we need to live, we need to destroy something that was or is alive. I suppose that a socialist would call this the so-called 'right' to welfare. I suppose a cynic would call it a 'right' to be a parasite, whether it is a symbiotic or a destructive relationship matters not. Our selfish genes don't care about such hair-splitting. As far as they are concerned, if it provides more energy than it costs, than it's a go.

"Now, to be fair, I have stumbled across some research that indicates that the melanin in our skin can harvest solar energy. I guess you could say that melanin is sort of the chlorophyl of the animal kingdom. However, that does not invalidate imperative number two. It just makes it 99.9 percent true in the animal kingdom instead of one hundred percent true.

"Number three is to procreate. If we are alive and we aren't eating, our prime directive is to produce offspring. Without offspring, our selfish gene line ceases to exist and its entire raison d'être is thwarted. I guess a religionist would call this the so-called 'right' to go forth and be fruitful."

By this time I had stepped completely out of my running shorts and was in full professor mode while standing in front of a gorgeous class of one whose delicious state of dishabille kept the pointer between my legs at full staff and, most of the time, pointed directly at said class.

The image that popped into my mind was of a hairy satyr casting a spell in a forest glade to bring a nubile forest nymph into his clutches. Granted, spell casting was not the primary purpose of my expostulations, but the mental image sure helped Little Stefan to maintain his state of tumescence!

"Now, as luck would have it, my lady, I'm an old fart who has something of a fourth imperative to confuse the issue. I'm not sure, but I think it is something of a cultural willow-the-wisp, but for better or for worse, I seem to have swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. It is true that very young and inexperienced teenagers and adults can be taken advantage of by older and more experienced members of society. This is considered important enough that there are laws on the books that protect children and young adults as a class.

"In my case, I've decided to go the extra mile so that I don't unintentionally screw somebody's life up. My standard of chivalry is that any woman younger than thirty who wants to be more than a friend to me must make the first move.

"I wish to report that I am totally enchanted with every aspect of your physical existence to which I have been exposed. You have a body that any male is automatically programmed to love, and I am no exception! Mentally, I also love every one of your neurons that you have allowed me to meet so far.

"Now that you have made the first move, you are already fully accredited as a companion that I would love to cuddle with and maybe more. My question to you is, where and how far do you want this to go?"

"Stefan, I'm hoping that we can take this all the way!"

All the way! Is this the answer to all my wet dreams? Be still my heart!... Or just the most direct route to the biggest and deepest tank of kimchi that the Devil owns?

But wait, that's not as precise as it sounds out of the gate. "Can you be a bit more precise on 'all the way?' In our language that could imply anything from a one night stand to a life of marriage and children."

"I absolutely want to go for a one night stand and I definitely want to discuss all the other possibilities!"

"All the possibilities!? Wow! YES!" I did an impromptu fist pump and then caught sight of Little Stefan. "Actually, lovely lady, I think you are trying to kill me by inducing a permanent hard-on!"

"Ahh, poor Stef." Terri got off the log, walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I kind of lost myself in the deep hazel glow of her beautiful eyes as she said, "Should I do something to treat that symptom?"

"Uh, well Doc..." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Hmm, I think that was a yes." She began to release her arms from around my waist.

I held Terri a little tighter and said, "I think we need a bit more prep work before the operation, Doc." We returned to the lip lock.

An eternity later we both came up for air. "Wow! A little more of that and my Little Guy would have erupted!"

"You should talk! My panties... uh, no... I mean your running shorts are sopping wet!" she told me with a grin as she slowly slipped down into a squat and gave the tip of my penis a swirling lick.

My hips bucked involuntarily at the touch, "Oh! Oh! Oh! You're not going to have to work too hard to get Vesuvius to erupt!"

Terri backed off a bit so she could say, "I confess to having mixed feelings about that state of affairs." She proceeded to suck the glans into her mouth and then started down the shaft.

I didn't last long enough to find out if Terri could deep throat, but I did learn that she had no qualms about swallowing cum. "Hmm, seems a little salty compared to the other one I've done, but it does taste good!"

When I stopped seeing stars, I reached down and pulled her up. When she was erect I said, "One good turn deserves another. Let me relieve you of those uncomfortable wet shorts." Suiting action to words, I slid my hands down the sides of her torso and when I got to her waist I hooked my thumbs into the waistband and thus proceeded to pull the shorts all the way down Terri's gorgeous legs. She put her hands onto my head as I helped her to step out of the shorts.

Right in front of my face I could see that Terri was a natural dark blond. Her kitty wasn't shaved, but it was reasonably thick and seemed to be neatly trimmed. I could hardly believe it but Little Stefan was motivated enough to stir, however, a full erection was beyond his capacity at the moment.

I leaned back so that I could get a better view of what I had just unwrapped. "Two lovable titties and an absolutely adorable kitty! Oh. My. God. You. Are. Beautiful!"

I think that I surprised Terri when I gently ran my hands back up along her sides as I stood up. Then just as she expected us to go back into a clinch, I reached behind her and picked her up. After a little yelp of surprise, she put her arms around my neck and we returned to sharing tongues, saliva and cum!

After a while I gently settled into the grass and began planting kisses wherever I could reach. As I prepared to go lower than Terri's breasts, I gently slipped her off of my lap and onto the grass. Now unencumbered, I was able to let my tongue and lips range farther and farther about her delicious body. Not wanting them to feel abandoned, my fingers walked all over her beautiful tits tweaking, and pinching, and rolling her nipples.

By the time that I got into the vicinity of Terri's pudenda, her breathing had become quite ragged. At one point, she actually seemed to hold her breath—at least until I bypassed that golden triangle and started working down the inside of her thigh. "You fucking bastard! Quit teasing! Give me what I need!"

"If you want to be fucked, we can do that later. Right now all I want to do is love you!"

"Grrr! Arrrgh! Sonofabitch! Okay. Okay. Alright. Damn you! I love you too! Go for it, love me! Pleeez! Oh, and hurry up about it!"

After arriving at Terri's foot, I kissed it a bit and then gave it a gentle massage before moving to the other one and then giving it the kiss and massage routine. As I kissed and tongued my way up her other leg she began to tighten up. Upon reaching her nether lips I ran my tongue from the perineum to the clitoris and then swirled around the clit which was already swollen and easy to find.

"Eyeeeeeaaaahhh!" and Terri went into orgasm! My head was locked between her spasming thighs so there wasn't much I could do besides continue teasing her clit while her muscles danced on that wonderful edge where she had no conscious control!

Finally Terri began to come down, "Oh God! Please stop! I'm too sensitive now, please let me come down!" she gasped. I gave her clit a final playful nip and sat up. Both of us now got a bit of a surprise. Terri noticed bemusedly that her hands were full of clumps of grass that she had torn out of the ground and I discovered that my beard below my lower lip as well as my upper chest were wet; Terri had cum with a squirt!

I crawled up alongside Terri and gave her a long, deep and sensual kiss. Finally, as I began to not be able to feel the hammering of Terri's heart throughout her body, I moved my hand to her nipples and began to caress them gently.

After a couple of kiss-muffled groans, Terri came up for air. "Holy mackerel! What are you trying to do—kill me?... Ahh shit! That does feel good... Oh hell, go ahead and kill me!"

"Ready for round two, ay?"

"If it's round two of fifteen, I think that I had better check out now!"

"Round two is my call. Anything after that is entirely dependent on what you have on your dance card."

Terri gave me a wry grin, "Uh huh. And I'll bet you always use a blender to mix your metaphors, right?"

I smirked back, "Probably guilty, but I'm not going to admit that in front of a judge and jury!

"Now, if you would be so kind as to stop distracting me, I would like to get started on the next inning!" I proceeded to initiate a lip-lock before she could manage a retort!

During this kiss, I got a bit more serious about massaging Terri's left tit. After breaking the kiss, I worked down to her right tit with my mouth and began paying particular attention to the swollen cherry on the top of that delicious mountain. I'm sure that her left tit began feeling lonely because my hand began to gently and lightly circle down across her belly on its way to the promised land.

Terri groaned as I massaged her kitty—with a little extra attention for her clitoris which was still somewhat swollen. I had intended to tease Terri around the labia before going in, but she was so well lubricated that my middle finger slipped inside before I realized what had happened. Rather than seeing how many fingers I could charge in with, I did a little exploring until I managed to find her G-spot. While I made this reconnaissance, I kept Terri distracted with kisses that alternated between her lips and both tits. I knew that I had hit pay dirt when Terri sort of jumped at one touch.

After this, it was just the work of a few moments to get three fingers into Terri's snatch. After that, my thumb began caressing her clitoris while my fingers made a point of touching the G-spot every time I pushed them in.

I was kissing one of her gorgeous tits when I felt her stiffen up a bit. I moved to kiss her on the lips, but I moved too slow. The scream that she emitted as her body spasmed like unto deafened me—altho I could still hear echos of it bouncing and rebouncing off the canyon walls in the area.

"What are you trying to do, Tarzan? Scare off all the wildlife?"

"Me? You're the one that pushed the launch button!

"And by the way, Tarzan is male and I am not!"

"As if I hadn't noticed! I wish to inform you, Jane, THAT was a Tarzan-volume exclamation!"

I rolled her over on top of me and gave her a nice bare hug. "You, m'lady, are a package of more fun than I have ever managed to find in a month of Sundays! Shall we relax a bit before we head back to camp?"

"Not on your life! We've still got to finish round three. I need to find out how well Ms. Kitty fits Little Stefan!"

I raised my eyebrows in some disappointment. "Uh, that's something that this boy scout isn't prepared for. I never imagined that I would ever need a condom as part of my woods running kit."

Terri grinned. "Obviously, you never made it to Eagle Scout!"

"Sorry, but the only place I've ever been where a condom actually made sense as a part of the kit for some of the troops was Vietnam."

"So I get to carry the ball on this one, ay? I think I can!

"My period is due in about three days which is about halfway through my premenstrual infertile phase, so we're safe! And don't look at me like that; yes, I'm ready to ride this horse bareback. It's been two years since my last 'experiment' and that's way past the incubation period of any STD I've ever heard of!

"And you? You told me yesterday that you've been by yourself RVing for uh, three years now. As long as you don't have a lady friend in every town you pass through, I'm willing to bet that you are as clean as I am. Do I have a case, Chief?"

"Terri, you... Oh hell, we are BOTH riding high on charges of oxytocin and dopamine. That is damned dangerous weather for two hot planes to try and fly together in close formation.

"I've hurt a lot of people in my life. Thankfully, most of them were accidental or unintentional, but some of them were not. The thing is, I regret every single one of them and I don't want any more regrets. In your case, I already know and respect you enough that I don't want to be the SOB who is the source of a regret that you will take you your grave."

"Damnit, Stef! Stay on point! Quit trying to wiggle away!"

Terri locked her hazel eyes with mine, "Let me put it this way, Stef, I know that accidents cause people! In this particular case, if we wind up having an 'accident,' I will not regret being the mother of your child, nor will I use that child to cause you a lifetime of regret!

"Do I make myself clear?"

Goddamn! Which is closer, heaven—or the Devil's kimchi tank? Sheeit! Or am I sneaking up on the Devil's ghost pepper fermentation tank? I was thunderstruck! Words were not to be found in my vocabulary while I processed this bit of data!