A Tennessee Education Pt. 02

She reached for a mint and then said, "I can't tell you how many women have sat right there," pointing to Sharon, "and told me a story similar to yours. There's been at least a hundred."

"Really?"

"At least that many. I've heard so many heartbreaking stories from women. Some were as young as twenty; some as old as sixty. The stories varied but they all shared the same common theme as yours."

"What's that?"

"Men failing to remain true to the one they said they loved."

Sharon wiped a tear aside. "I don't know why I called you tonight. I have lots of friends but for some reason I didn't think they'd understand."

"Maybe you thought they would judge you."

"I think you might be right. I know it would be a lot harder to describe to them about what I saw them do than it would be to tell you."

A slight smile graced Mariko's face. "And why is that, Sharon?"

"Because you are so dam blunt. I just had a gut feeling that you would be someone I could confide in and not have you tell me to tone it down."

"I'm glad you did. To be honest I am a bit surprised you called after our contentious conversation at lunch?" She said smiling once more.

"I'm here probably because of that conversation." Sharon paused and looked away. Then she asked, "Can you tell me about your marriage?"

"What makes you think I was married?"

"I just know. Will you tell me? I think there is something that I need to hear and I think you are the one I need to hear it from."

Mariko nodded. "I think you do." She said in a hushed voice.

"I grew up in Japan. My parents lived in a small apartment in Osaka. It's a city about the size of Chicago. I loved living there. It's a beautiful city. It's warm in the summer and we'd get snow in the winter. There are parks and lakes throughout and the mountains are not so far off. The city is a place of culture and tradition. I loved being a little girl growing up with my mother and father."

Father worked in the factory and mother was a musician. I was brought up very traditionally. I learned respect and obedience and from them and as far back as I can remember I was taught to be seen but not heard. I learned my lessons and was made to work very hard on my schooling. In school we learned math, and reading and writing and the sciences and history and of course English. Everyone learned to speak English fluently. At home we were taught to worship and pray to our gods. We were taught the importance of family especially our grandparents. All Japanese children are taught this. It's a parents' gift they give them so their children can live a better life than that of their parents. I know my father worked hard in the tire factory. He worked long hours and came home exhausted every night. I remember mother having dinner for him every evening at 7pm. We followed a very routine schedule; up at dawn and in bed by 8pm on school nights.

"Everywhere we were taught manners and respect and when we disobeyed we were punished with a stick or a cane or a strap; whatever the teacher or mother felt was best. I grew up as an only child. It was something that the government was encouraging although Japan was not as strict as China on this matter. When I finished my schooling I was going to attend the University in Tokyo but asked if I could travel before starting more education. My parents agreed and I traveled to Greece and Italy to see the ancient ruins of the Roman and Greek empire. I loved that part of the world. It was a peaceful place. There was more room than in Osaka. And the culture was beautiful. While I was there I met a man. Adnon was tall and olive skinned and had the most beautiful smile and deep voice and I fell for him.

Being a single girl in Japan my mother didn't want me to date. She told me I needed to finish my schooling and then I would be more appealing to a man that might want to choose me. So when I left home I felt free for the first time. My parents weren't there to tell me what I could and couldn't do. I tried lots of things I would have never done if I were home. That was how I met Adnon. Even though he was from Afghanistan and grew up in a culture and country so different than mine it did not matter. To me, he was fun to be with and so good looking and he loved me. He told me about life in Afghanistan his life and the traditions of his home seemed more similar than different from mine. It seemed the main difference was the god we worshipped but since that wasn't important to me at the time, I didn't give it much thought.

I spent three months in the Mediterranean and by that time I pretty much knew I wanted to spend all the time I could with Adnon. We flew to Kabul and from there drove for miles north and east until we came to where he lived in the northern part of the country. The land was so different from Japan or the Mediterranean for that matter. There is so little water. It really was a mountainous desert. Once we arrived in his town I soon learned how important the tribal leaders were to their society. They were the mayors, governors and civic leaders of his area. What they decided was the law and they were very conservative, at least when it came to what women could and could not do. I should have taken notice of that when I realized some of the disparities between men and women but I was so overwhelmed with Adnon that I never did.

After meeting his family, his extended family, and many of his friends, he asked me to marry him. Even though everyone seemed quite reserved in their judgment of me because I was Japanese I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him. I couldn't imagine not being together and I knew that if I declined his marriage offer I might not ever see him again. And so I went against everything my parents taught and hoped for me as their only child. I even ignored all the warning signs that all but grabbed and shook me to wake up and leave. Instead I married him."

"We married ten days after we flew out of Vienna and within a month or so our relationship changed dramatically. I quickly learned about the other side of his culture I never took notice of while I was single. I learned a woman becomes the property of her husband when she marries. I learned she cannot do anything without his permission. I learned my only societal worth was to feed him and bear his children. I learned I wasn't permitted to show my legs in public. I learned I wasn't permitted to speak to a man without Adnons' permission. I learned I couldn't even vote or drive a car. Sharon, I became his slave and I was so clueless to all the warning signs beforehand. It was hell on earth."

"Like I said, after we married Adnon changed. He expected sex every night which I didn't mind giving him but it was how he wanted it that was different. We use to make love. He was such a great lover but within a month I felt like I was sleeping with someone I didn't even know. He started getting rough and he enjoyed hurting me when we had sex. I came to hate it. About the same time he started yelling at me because I wasn't cooking meals the way his mother did. He expected me to know immediately how to cook traditional meals and when I failed he'd beat me. He beat me every night. I think he used my inability to cook as an excuse to hit me. I'd ask him for permission to go to his parents' house to learn how to cook but even when he let me, his mother refused to teach me. Most everyone in the town refused to help.

"Why?" Sharon asked.

"Because I wasn't one of them; I was Asian. I later learned they hated me because I had married one of their own. They blamed our marriage on me even though Adnon had asked me! So most nights I waited in fear for Adnon to come home from work. He'd sit at the table and eventually smash his hand down. I'd jump every time he did. It was his way of letting me know he wanted to eat. He'd eat everything because he was hungry but then he'd swear and mock me, telling me how worthless I was because I couldn't even cook as well as his little sister. He'd drag me into the bedroom and it was there that the beatings took place. Usually he would leave after he had beaten me to the point I curled up in the corner and cried hysterically. When he returned he forced me to have sex and then told me how my lovemaking was as bad as my cooking. Most night's he'd leave again and go drinking with his friends. Meanwhile I'd lie in bed and sob until he came home. Every morning he'd push me out so I could have his breakfast ready when he got up. And then he'd leave for work and lock me inside the house where it was dark and dreary. I was miserable. I married a man who I dearly loved but he broke my heart every night after we married. It didn't take long before I thought of killing him."

"I was nothing to him other than a woman he could fuck and get a meal from. I was his prisoner. For the longest time I had no friends and no way to get outside the hell-hole of a shack that we called home. I came to hate the desert, his home, his family and his friends. I hated all that dam sand that got into everything and especially came to hate the culture that oppressed women."

"So what did you do?"

"Several months after we married I met a woman at one of the annual festivals. Her name is Fania and we quickly became friends. She was married to a man who loved her and she took me under her wing and taught me how to cook. I owe my life to her. I was so beaten and bruised by then and my body hurt so badly. When I learned to cook a few of his favorite dishes he finally stopped the beatings."

Mariko paused and wiped a tear from her eye. Sharon could see the memories of those events so many years ago were still very real in her mind.

She continued, "I envied Fania. Her husband gave her many freedoms Adnon would not give me. She could go to the market by herself. I could only go with Adnon's mother and even then I had to have a permission note. Fania was happy. She had children that brought joy to her life even though she was no older than me. I got pregnant almost immediately after we married and gave birth to a girl. She was so beautiful but Adnon wanted a boy and told me how unworthy I was because I didn't give him the son he wanted. That was another area of contention but having Kamelah (Ka Mel' a) kept me going. I promised her I'd take care of her and give her a life better than mine.

"When Kamelah was four months old, Fania informed me Adnon often went to the whorehouse on the edge of town. That was the final straw. Somehow I was able to cope with the beatings and the alienation but when he betrayed me by fucking other women I knew I had to escape. I refused to spread my legs anymore and although he beat me because I wouldn't give him sex small bit of control strengthened me. It gave me something I could call my own. I lived that way for another year."

"It was only with Fania's help, mostly because of the money she gave me that I was able to make my way into Pakistan and then fly home. Years later I learned that Fania's husband divorced her because of the assistance she gave me. She now lives in the States and I have done what I can to help her. She has since remarried and lives in the area and we see each other frequently. We both can share stories from when we were younger."

"Your story is so sad," Sharon said after Mariko had finally finished. The tale made her feel so bad for her and she temporarily forgot about her own horrific situation. She sipped the remainder of her tea and said, "In the end both you and Fania were betrayed by your husbands."

"Yes we were," Mariko answered quietly.

For a few minutes Sharon said nothing. Mariko knew she was thinking important thoughts.

"Where is Kamelah now?" She said finally.

Mariko smiled. "She lives in Silverton."

"Oh my, she lives close by!"

"Yes, we see each other lots."

"Do you have a picture of her? I'd love to see one."

Mariko walked into the adjacent room and retrieved a small album. Inside were several photos of her daughter. Like her mother, she was tall, slender and shapely. She had darker features and her complexion reflected the Middle Eastern influence of her father. But she could see her mother in her as well. It was the eyes, full lips, and high cheekbones that Mariko and Kamelah shared although it was evident that her daughter possessed more of an exotic look that the blend of genetics between the two races expressed so beautifully.

"Your daughter is beautiful, Mariko."

"Yes she is. I get the impression as I look at these pictures that she has a strong personality like you."

Mariko smiled. "Let's just say that she tends to bend others to her will."

"So she isn't the timid sort?" Sharon asked laughing. It felt good to laugh. The past several days were ones' she wished she could wipe from her mind but this visit had brought some life back into her after having experienced so much pain and anguish. Although Mariko's story was a sad one she was so glad that she could learn about such an important part of her past. She finally felt like Mariko wasn't just a secretary. She now felt like a friend and right now she really needed a friend to whom she could divulge her deepest thoughts.

Mariko moved and sat on the loveseat next to Sharon. "I am very sorry you and I have had similar experiences."

Sharon felt the ache return. After a welcome, but brief reprieve of thinking of all of her past hurts, those overwhelmingly sad feelings rushed back the moment she alluded to her and Jonathan.

"But our lives have taken very different paths. What makes you say we share similar experiences?"

"We've both been betrayed by the men we loved."

Quietly Sharon whispered in agreement. "Yes we have."

"Even though my experience with Adnon took place in a different time and culture under different circumstances it is very much the same as your situation. Even before Adnon decided to have sex with other women betrayed me. He seduced me; he told me he loved me under false pretense; he elevated his status amongst his friends and family at my expense and once he married me he reduced me to nothing."

Sharon shook her head sadly, wiping away a tear.

"And Jonathan did exactly the same thing to you Sharon. Don't you see that?" She placed a hand on her forearm. "He never ever loved you. Maybe in words he did, but never in his heart. How could a man love when he was fucking another woman and paying for the service? How could he be with her and share his body with her at the most intimate level a man and woman can, and then tell you a few hours later that he loved you?"

"I know," she said sobbing quietly. "That's what hurts so much now. I gave him all of me and now I feel like such a sucker. He played me."

"Sadly, you were."

"Oh god this hurts. Why does it hurt so much? Am I so crazy that part of me still wants him?"

"You aren't stupid and you aren't crazy. You are grieving; you're grieving over the loss of someone you loved and cared for. It hurts because now you realize the love was not a two-way love. It was love on your part but lust on his."

"Do you know what I don't get Mariko? I don't get that he stayed with me after he started seeing her. I mean, he must have known that I'd find out sooner or later. There was no way our marriage would make it. That's what I don't get. Why not just tell me he found someone else and let me go?"

"That's a woman talking. That's not how a man thinks. A man doesn't think the same way we do. They just don't. They think with their balls. They think with sex forming the framework about which everything else revolves. It's why Bobby made comments about your dress covering too much of your body. It's why he stared at that young girl when we ate lunch. He can't help it. It's who he is. It's sad but it's true."

Sharon sat meditating on her words. After a minute of silence she commented. "That is so sad."

"What is?"

"That their thoughts are predominantly sex driven. I remember hearing on a documentary that a man thinks about sex several hundred times a day. I never really gave that much thought until now but I guess it's true."

"It is. And you and I are personal casualties to their inferior make up and thinking."

"We have our own issues too," Sharon said trying to lighten the air.

"Yes but our hormonal issues don't cause us to rape, kidnap, watch porn or have sex at the risk of losing things and people we say we hold so dear."

"Hmmm," she said. "I guess you're right."

"Come here. I want to show you something. Ordinarily I would never let you see this but something in my heart tells me you need to."

She took Sharon by the hand and led her out of the sitting room and down the short hallway. The hallway emptied onto the kitchen which was dark. Mariko stopped short of entering but came close enough. There about 15 feet in front of them knelt a naked man. He was facing away and didn't move when they approached. All Sharon could see were the soles of his feet and his white ass staring back at her.

"Oh my!" Sharon gasped. "What's going on here? Why doesn't he turn and look?"

"Not here," she said turning around and guiding the younger woman outside. They stepped out onto the porch and Mariko motioned her to sit.

"About twelve years ago I went to a musical. With me were two of my closest friends. We all had season tickets to the Academy and once a month all three of us would get together for dinner and then enjoy a nice concert, musical, play or opera. The Academy is a wonderful asset to the downtown area. On this spring evening Brigadoon was the featured musical and it was wonderful."

"I've never seen it."

"Oh, you should. I'll tell you about it sometime, but I'm digressing." Mariko turned and faced Sharon taking one of her hands in both of hers. "After the musical concluded we walked the few blocks back to my car. On the way we were stopped by a group of guys who stopped us and demanded our purses. We told them to go. When they began harassing us we screamed but then they grabbed us. Two of the men gagged me while the others accosted my friends. They drug all of us down a nearby dark alley and I watched as six of them took turns raping my girlfriends. I have no idea why they didn't do the same to me. They left us after taking our money and credit cards. The police never did find them."

"That evening changed my life Sharon. I had witnessed and experienced too much. Soon after that rape, I had to deal with all of the guilt of not being able to help my friends. I saw how much pain they endured for months after and it was then I dedicated my life to freeing women from the hands of men."

"Is that why he is in there?" she asked quietly.

"Yes. I've just started working with this one. He is somewhat unique because I have a bit of leverage to keep him under control but my goal is for him to undergo a fundamental change in his mind. He won't be the same man a year from now. I can guarantee you that."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because he is just like Jonathan and Adnon and those thugs in the alley."

Sharon let out an inaudible gasp as her mouth opened in surprise.

Mariko continued, "He's been with a married woman and he's done other smaller things that lead me to believe he needs to be taken and reprogrammed."

"Why are you telling me this? I have no intention of ever going back to Jonathan. Our relationship is through and I told him so much yesterday."

"Good for you. I'm glad you did and hope you never doubt your decision. You did the right thing. I also hope you tell the next woman he dates what you know about him if you ever get the chance."

"It would be my pleasure," she answered with emotion.

"But why are you telling me about him?" She inquired again, nodding back toward the kitchen.

"Because I don't want you to be lead astray the next time you become interested in a man."

"Oh, I won't. You can count on that."