tagHumor & SatireA Thing About Valentine's Day

A Thing About Valentine's Day


Walter Wimple, was a loser. He was born unlucky, and it only got worse as the years went by or so it seemed to him. He was small, thin hair, no muscles and no backbone. People walked all over Walter all the time. He especially had a terrible time each Valentine’s Day. It seemed like something terrible always happened.

When he was four his dog died on Valentines Day. When he was eight his mother died on the same day. When he was sixteen he was up to his balls in Lucy Watts, the next door neighbor, when her husband opened the bedroom door. When he was twenty-three he married Lucille. That turned out to be the unkindest thing that ever happened to him on Valentines Day. Two years later she left him and took all his money, his car, his house and his daughter. All in all the safest place for him it seemed on Valentines, day was home in bed alone.

That was his plan for the day and he carefully explained himself to his Dad and his older brother. No more surprises for Walter. He would stay in bed until the next day when it was safe to get up. Little did Walter know in his bed was the worst place for him to be this year. The fates are not to be denied and they already had a surprise for this years Valentines Day for our dear Walter. At precisely six o’clock that night a Marine helicopter crashed into their home. Walter being the only one there he was crushed to death by the falling roof.

Walter was not happy. When he got to St Peter, he explained it was a terrible thing to do to a fella especially on the holiday of lovers. He begged for another chance at life this time with a little more love and happiness if you please. St Peter agreed and sent him back to earth as a dog. A large chocolate brown well-groomed stud poodle belonging to a lovely young woman named Melissa Rivers.

He found himself thrust into the poodle’s body just as he was completing the act of impregnating a bitch poodle named Lucille. He noticed right away he was having much more fun as a dog, then he had ever had fucking his wife of the same name. Not a bad way to start a new life humping a willing female and she was a cutie white with hair that smelled like summer sun and she was happily humping back as he tied with her.

Finished they both laid down to rest. It was then he learned his new name was Pierre, but that his Mistress called him Pete, as she called out to him what a marvelous wonderful fucking animal he was. Pete was quite proud of himself as he fell asleep.

An hour later when he was free of the bitch he licked himself clean and went looking for something to eat as he was hungry. Waiting for him was his Melissa. She kissed and hugged him, before she sat him down in front of a beautiful well done tenderloin cut into small bits, a bowl of fancy bottled water, and two chocolate dog biscuits.

He sighed as he started to eat and thought, “This ain’t bad”

Finished with his snack he was leashed up and they went out to her SUV where he was placed in a large well padded cage and told to rest they were on the way home.

Once home he found he had a room to himself, several servants who would walk him, play with him, or fetch him snacks whenever he seemed like he wanted anything. No one had ever treated him this good when he was a man. No wonder they said a dog’s life was so good.

Through the months, he found out, he was along with George the Boxer and Gunther the German Shepherd the main source of Melissa’s income. They got Five hundred a pop for loaning him out for stud and the other two got almost as much. The dogs were busy almost every day. He had never had so much sex in his life. There was no more foreplay, touch me here; I don’t want you to do that. It was pure and simple fucking at its natural best.

The only thing that bothered him was Melissa was so sad and he knew she needed a good man. To bad dogs and humans couldn’t do it because he knew he could make her happy. Finally, it happened Melissa was taking him for a rare walk in the park and he smelled hot female. He jerked his leash hard, she dropped it in surprise, and he was off. Two trails over he found her. The most gorgeous poodle he had ever seen. Chocolate Brown like him and so beautiful she could take Best of Breed anywhere. He walked up and introduced himself, she nosed him, he nosed her and they discreetly looked for a private place to consummate this newfound relationship.

As they mated they could hear their owners whistling and hollering for them but love was in the air and they didn’t care. Finally Roger, who owed Cherise, found them. Ah! What a name thought Pete, Cherise. He was mad but then thought what the hell, if he couldn’t get laid the dog might as well have some fun.

Just then Melissa came around the corner and asked if he had seen her male poodle. He pointed and moved the branches Pete growled and they left them alone.

Melissa said “Shit, couldn’t you stop them? That dog gets Five hundred dollars every time he covers a bitch.” Roger introduced himself and said, “Well, I didn’t call you so I will make you a deal. I will keep one puppy for his raping my dog and you can have the rest to sell for your fee.”

Melissa sat on a close by bench and started to laugh. “Hell we can split the puppies it wasn’t her fault he is so horny.”

Roger sat next to her and for the first time noticed she was tall and slender with beautiful green eyes and hair that smelled like vanilla and looked like copper pennies freshly minted glowing in the sun. Got a name dog lady?

She smiled and the sun came out in his world it was so beautiful. “ Melissa Rivers, I live in the brownstone at the edge of the park how about you?”

He grinned, “ Roger Marsh just moved into the ranch on the other side of the park with the pool in the back yard. First time I ran my dog over here I thought she needed the exercise she has been whiney and tense for two days. I guess since this is her first heat I didn’t realize what it was that was bothering her.”

Melissa laughed aloud. “Hey like women some times its hard to tell what they want obviously Pete didnt have a problem think they are untied yet?”

He got up and looked. Nope both are curled up and sleeping. Want to watch them and I will go get us some chocolate and a bagel over there?

She nodded and he left.

Closing her eyes, she took time to savor the sun beating on her face open naked legs, and the smell of the newly mown grass. She also smiled at the thought of the handsome Roger Marsh, of the long legs and beautiful ass. She found herself wondering if the old adage about big hands and big equipment might prove true. She also found herself wondering just how she could find out. After all, even she deserved fun occasionally. The dogs seemed to get it all lately leaving her with only her shower massager for company.

She jumped in shock at the feel of a cold nose on her naked thigh. Opening her eyes, she saw Pete gazing with love up at her. She automatically petted him as she reached into her pocket for a chocolate biscuit. She then noticed that she needed two as his new love interest was patiently waiting as well. She quickly picked up both leashes just as Roger arrived with the chocolate and bagels. The dogs settled down with self-satisfied smirks and the people got acquainted. That night Roger came by for dinner and Melissa had her happiest day in months.

Locked out of the bedroom, the dogs lay on the white sofa listening to the noises from the bedroom and talking as dogs do about humans and their funny behavior.

Melissa and Roger were having some conversations of their own but they were more like “Oh yes that feels so good.” And Melissa smiling as he moaned in passion as she slide her hot wet mouth down his very large equipment proving those old wives knew what they were talking about. They only barked once when at the height of the human’s passion Melissa cried out loudly and Pete jumped off the sofa heading for the bedroom, growling deep inside his throat until Melissa hollered out. “It’s alright Petey go back to sleep and then he heard lots of giggles, and remembered that sometimes when he had masturbated as a human he had come so hard he hollered out in the pleasure. He barked softly and returned to snuggle up with his new friend Cherise.

To bad dogs had such limited seasons, maybe tomorrow she would take him somewhere to breed a bitch he sure was horny. With that thought, he slept until the sun was high in the heavens before the two in the bedroom, remembered dogs, breakfast, and the requirements of being unable to use a toilet.

Pete was right, he did have stud duties today. It was a day of contrasts, as it turned out the two bitches were exact opposites. One was docile and demure, all apricot splendor not happy about what her desires were driving her to do as her Mistress, and his watched like voyagers at a porno movie. The other one was a pristine white poodle hot and anxious who practically jumped him before he was out of his crate. Woman dogs or human, who understands them, shrugging a doggy shrug Pete didn’t even try just enjoyed.

All the while, Pete was aware in the corner of his mind that Melissa was laughing and smiling and was talking a lot more than normal on her cell phone. Finally finished at her second location she hustled him into his crate with no reward other than a chocolate biscuit saying I will make it up to you at Rogers house baby, I promise. He curled up to take a nap; after all, he had been working all-day and grinned a big doggie grin. More sex for Melissa this was turning into a good thing. That meant he got to see Cherise again. Maybe if he was lucky, she would be in second heat if he hadn’t gotten her pregnant the first time and they could have some fun as well. Barking softly, he settled into his nap.

The days flew by after that and soon Roger and Melissa were expecting a baby of their own. Cherise had delivered four beautiful puppies and the two couldn’t bear to part with any of them so besides the dogs in the kennel the house was full of rampaging puppies and Cherise and Pete trying to keep order. Before you, k now it Melissa’s wedding day arrived it was Valentines Day a whole year after Pete had joined the family. He shivered and shook from the time he woke up that morning. He was afraid of what might happen to Melissa to the puppies to Cherise and worst of all to him. He was a happy dog, happier than he had ever been as a human was and wanted nothing to happen. Melissa almost left him home as they left for the church but he was the ring bearer and his job was important.

The sun was out, the sky was blue and he looked dapper in his top hat and tails. Cherise looked beautiful in her bridesmaid outfit as she dropped roses from a basket around her neck on the way up the aisle. It was perfect. Nothing anyone could do could settle him down so the new couple postponed their honeymoon trip and stayed home that night with all the dogs. The next morning the sun came up and Pete opening his eyes found he was still a dog. He was still in his special basket, still a father of four rambunctious puppies who were pulling and tugging him to get up and make those humans come and prepare breakfast. He barked and barked in happiness something he never did until they appeared in the doorway at which point he slobbered them both with kisses.

Laughing they determined that whatever had bothered him the day before, he was fine now and took the dogs packed the car and headed for the mountain retreat they had rented for their honeymoon. However, his encounter with a white wolf while on their honeymoon is a whole different story. He for one would never forget this honeymoon.

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