A View from Both Sides

"My heart is broken." She said into the phone. The only response was the drone of the dial tone. He had long since hung up.

"I don't know how I am going to survive this. I hurt so bad." She continues to talk. "I can say this to You, knowing that You can't hear me. You were my first — my first Master, my first lover to take me to the dark places I craved. Who will love me like that again? I despair of ever again allowing myself to be open and trusting. I gave everything to You. I held nothing back. You witnessed my humiliation and my ecstasy. You seduced me. You taught me. And then, You abandoned me. I don't know what to do."

The dial tone changed to a non-human female voice telling the caller to "...please hang up and try again." She obeyed the command because that is what she had been trained to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several months later

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rings. She glances at the caller ID and winces. A quick debate is waged in her mind... answer — don't answer. The caller is a former lover from several years ago. Someone, it seemed, from another life.

"Coward," she berates herself. Picking up the receiver, she says, "Hello."

A male voice answers, "Hi, baby. I have been thinking about you."

"Really." She answers abruptly. But, playing the game, she says, "And what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about the last time I fucked you and how good it was," he says.

"Uh, huh," she says noncommittally. "And I suppose that you want to see me and fuck me again. Is that what you are thinking?"

"Oh, yes, baby. I want you. It has been too long. Do you ever think about it... about us?"

"It has been a couple of years since we have been together, Bill. You disappeared from my life. One day you were there and the next you vanished. But, that doesn't matter. I moved on. There has been a lot that has happened to me in the time since we were together. I am not the same woman that you knew. There are differences that might make "us" impossible."

"I don't understand," he says. "In what way?"

"Well, I was involved with a man since I last saw you. A man that changed me — changed the way that I look at sex and changed the way I know my nature. This man was my Dom, my Master," she answers, "and, I was his slut, his whore. And it was pure joy."

After a moment of silence, he says, "Oh, baby. That sounds so hot. We can do that, you can be my slut. You know you want it, too."

"But, that is just it," she says. "I don't know that I want it. I don't know that I can give like that again. I don't want to go back to vanilla sex again either. I don't think you have any idea what I am talking about. When you and I were lovers, it was a casual thing. Dinner, drinks and sex and then only when you had business here in town. I am not saying that it wasn't good and that you didn't treat me well..."

"I will treat you like a princess," he interjects. "Anything you want, let me get it for you."

"But, that's just it," she states, "I will NOT be your princess."

"But, baby," he says, "Give me a chance."

She laughs derisively. Like any man that smells even the faint possibility of sex in the air, he makes promises lavishly and foolishly.

Foolish, because, during the intervening months since her training ended, she discovered something about herself. She is no longer satisfied to be the object of a Master's attention and desire. She wants to experience the thrill of having a man at her sexual mercy. She wants to be in control and to make the demands. Whether it was her pain or her growing anger toward men that determined this switch, she did not examine closely. She only knows that she wants to do this. She spent hours on the computer learning about submissive men and their Dommes. She learned to recognize the essence of a submissive nature. And, she dreamed of exploiting and shaping that nature. She wants to have a man at her command... have a man beg for release, beg for gratification, beg for mercy.

In this fickle lover, she recognizes the potential for a truly debauched submissive. Bill, a high-level corporate player, is a prime candidate... powerful, yet pushed to the limits of what he is inside. He pulls in over three-quarters of a million dollars a year — and earns every penny. Earns it in the time that he devotes to his job and the stress that he deals with daily. He has sold his soul and believes that sex can fill the hole that was left in the wake. He devotes no effort or thought to a relationship, he just expects his money to purchase it. He has little time for socializing and he arranges his infrequent sexual encounters the way he arranges corporate meetings... via his Blackberry.

This was about to change.

"Well," she continues the conversation, "If we do get together, and I do mean 'if,' I will not be your 'princess,' nor will I be your whore or slut. If we do this, I will be your 'Queen' and you will be my subject. And you will service me in any way that I deem fit," she says.

"Yes," he answers immediately.

"What if I told you that you would be required to do things that would make you ashamed, make you cringe in mortification and shake with fear? And that you would thank me for it later? You will be my sexual puppet. I will piss on you and I want you to crave that piss."

There was a long silence. Then the sound of a gasp. "Yes."

She starts to talk and spin a tale of seduction for him. "I want to bring another female into the bedroom. I will have you stand before her, naked. Your hands will be cuffed behind you. Your balls will be bound together and pulled tight by a chain leash that I hold in my hand. I will pull you to her and tell you to watch as she strips. First, her top comes off. She shakes her long blond hair down her back. Her big, luscious tits are barely held in a black lace bra. She is looking you in the eye until she turns and shows you her ass in a tight black skirt. She slowly unzips the side and bends over seductively as she pulls it down her hips. She steps out of it and kicks it aside. Her legs are encased in sheer black stockings. Her ass is bare except for the straps of her thong. Her ass cheeks are tanned and smooth and inviting. I pull you over and allow you to kiss and lick those cheeks. I tell you to rub your face against that nice ass and I ask you if you would like to put that hard, hard cock of yours in that tight little ass? 'Yes,' you say. 'Well first,' I answer, 'Let us see what she has hiding in the front of this sexy little thong.' She turns to you, pulling the thong down as she turns. This female has a cock fully as long and as hard as yours. You stumble back in shock, but the leash I am holding causes you excruciating pain as I give it a yank forward. You are breathing hard, panting in pain. 'Come,' I say, 'Don't you want to fuck this lovely lady's ass?' You shake your head no, no, no. 'Well, then, my dear,' I sneer, 'I guess she will have to fuck your ass instead.' I stand in front, pulling your leash tight. Even with all the fear and humiliation, your cock is still hard and the pre-cum is beading up from the slit. 'Ah, you may be saying 'No' but your cock is begging 'Please.' I grab your hair and force you to bend toward me. She goes around behind you. I will be kind and let her use some lube on that virgin ass. I watch your face as she forces her cock in past the rim, slowly pushing deep into that warm, dark place. I watch the tears rolling down your cheeks and I watch your cock drip. As she starts to rape that sweet, tight ass of yours, I reach out and run a sharp fingernail across the head of your cock gathering up the juice. I wipe my finger across your lips. 'Go ahead. Taste it. Taste how much you want this. Taste how much you want a cock in your ass. And know that you have always wanted a cock in your ass.' I hold your hair tightly as you are raped."

She stops talking to him, breathing hard. She has no idea where all this is coming from. She has no idea that her soul is that dark and could hold so much ugliness or that she could have ever wanted to cause someone this much pain. She feels no erotic pull from any of this scenario. There is no jolt of lust from prescribing this pain and humiliation. She was not testing his sexual boundaries. She is only filled with anger.

She is ashamed.

She hears his voice over the phone, begging her to continue. Begging for more. Begging to make him cum.

She slowly hangs up on him, severing the connection.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several months later

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rings. She glances at the caller ID and smiles. It is the new man in her life. It is her new Master.

"Hello, Sir," she whispers. "I am so glad to hear your voice."

"And I am glad to hear yours, my pet," he says. "How has your day been?" She feels a warm glow spread through her body at his question.

He is a very wise man and a very caring Master. Shortly after they met, she confessed to the anger she had harbored toward men and the terrible shame that she felt for her ill-considered foray into Domination. He asked her to describe the scenario that she had created for this man. Then, he explained to her how this might possibly have opened the man's eyes to his true desires. And that, perhaps, he may have found a strict Domme that would lead him, with care, down this path. He told her that actions must be examined for the intentions behind them. As an example, he explained that the act of pissing on someone can be both a disgusting display of degradation or it can be a ground breaking ritual of submission to a Dom that holds his sub in great esteem — the same act, but very different emotions tied to it.

And to prove his point, he lead me, naked, to the shower, had me kneel at his feet and cleansed my body with a warm, golden shower. And, smiling, I thanked him and kissed the open palm that gently caressed my cheek.