A Wife Submits

"Do you want a divorce?" He said.

"God no!" I blurted, then in a calmer voice, "No."

"So it was a mistake?"

I hesitated I hadn't officially responded to his first question yet. But then gave in, "Yes." I said.

"These things happen he said, you won't do it again?"

"Oh god never. I swear, if you can forgive me I... I... I won't ever."

"I forgive you." he said and turned over and shut off his light.

I sat there stunned. I knew Will was hurting and it killed me, but I couldn't go to him. And I was fuming at Joe. I wanted to kill him. Literally.

7

The next weeks were heavy with guilt and shame. Will was pretending like he had forgiven me. He was kind to me, kissed me when he left for work, asked about me over dinner, but that was all. It seemed all he could manage and I couldn't blame him. Those words that I had repeated over and over to Joe rang out in my mind, "cheating cunt." and what made it worse is that every time they did, my vagina squeezed and my clit began to ache. I would begin feeling bad about how I treated Will and end up with a desire to masturbate thinking about how Joe had fucked me, used me.

After a month of this I was fed up and I couldn't continue. I told myself to let it go but I couldn't. I told myself my husband, kind and generous and strong as he was had forgiven me, I should forgive I myself. But I couldn't. I couldn't feel guilty without getting turned on, I couldn't think of Joe without hating him and yet I couldn't stop masturbating. I hated myself. I needed to regain control.

I decided I needed to see him, to tell him that he was an asshole, to prove to myself that I could control myself in his presence. I told myself I knew what I was doing, but it was only a very thinly veiled lie. I told my husband on a whim that I was going to have dinner with my sister on Friday. Something that often lasts late into the night. I'll drop by her house after I see Joe and have dinner with her. This thing with Joe won't last long. HA HA.

8

In the car driving to Joe's, I was nervous, full of my own lie. I was whispering things like I'm going to show him. I'll prove that he can't control me. But even as I said these things I knew I was lying. I knew I was setting myself up for a repeat of the reunion. I couldn't stop though. That's not true, I didn't want to stop and I needed to believe the lie just enough so that I wouldn't be forced to deal with the truth. I wanted Joe to fuck me again. Some where in the back of my mind I had this fantasy that Joe would take me in his arms and make love to me. It was something I didn't really believe, that I told myself I didn't even want, but the thought lingered. The more I told myself that this thought was ridiculous the more I believed it. It was like not believing it made it more likely.

I knocked on the door. Joe opened it, he was wearing jeans, loafers and a button down loosely tucked in. My face was set. I was determined to appear strong. Joe's look was one of mild irritation.

"I thought you'd show up back here."

"There's some things we need to discuss Joe." I said trying to sound authoritative, trying to come off like I didn't want to be here either except for these things we needed to discuss.

"Erica I'm getting ready for a poker party, I don't have time for this right now."

"I'm not leaving," I said, "This is important."

He scoffed, leered at my tits for an instant and then turned his back on me. "come in." he said. "But you'll have to wait for me while I get ready."

"Fine," I said.

He took me through the main area of the house, up the stairs and then through to a den where he had set up a poker table. There were chips and dips and other snacks on a side table and there was one of those little refrigerators with a beer tap coming out the top beside the table. He pointed to a door off the den and said, "You can wait in there. Close the door."

I walked over to the room and put my hand on the door handle and turned around. Joe had already turned and was walking back the way we came. But I called out anyway.

"Don't make me wait to long Joe I need to get back home." After I said this I thought it was the right thing to say. That'll make it clear to him that my thoughts are on my home, my family, my husband. He won't try his crap on me today. This thought made me feel both strong and worried that he wouldn't try his crap on me. I opened the door and went into the room. The sun was setting and though it wasn't dark yet, I knew it would be in another hour. It was a bedroom and my hopes rose, creating immediate feelings of guilt and shame. I sat on the edge of the bed, to wait. My mind was a mess of thoughts and emotions. I wanted him to make love to me, at least fuck me. I didn't want to cheat again, I didn't want to hurt Will or endanger my family, I wanted him to come back, I wanted get up and leave. I sat there and could not stop the voice in my head and I just listened and listened as it went on an on. Then I heard a noise. Someone was coming. Was it Joe. God please at least fuck me, I'll do anything you want, I thought. My vagina clenched. Dirty cheating cunt. And my vagina clenched again. I moved my hand to my clit and pushed on it through my skirt. Pleasure. The tiniest bit, but it felt better by a long shot than the ravings of my mind. Slut it said, dirty, cheating, cunt. It said. I pushed harder, rubbed a little trying to drown out my mind with sensation. But the truth was it was those words that made it feel so good to rub. Dirty cheating slut oh yes. He's coming. Hes going to make love to me. Slut oh yes, dirty cheating oh yes, cunt ohhhh yes.

But then I heard voices. He's not alone. Not just one other person, two or more were entering the poker room just outside my door. I could hear the men talking and laughing. It was hard to really hear what they were saying but they sounded jovial, joking boasting, men. The heat between my legs was now ignored.

I started to stand, I was going to leave. But I sat back down again. What would I say when I went out. Is it possible that I know any of these men? What would they think of me coming out of this bedroom. I couldn't leave, I realized that. So I waited there with my thoughts, confused and embarrassed by my inability to take action.

I heard more and then more men come until it sounded like a party outside my door. The light faded in the room until it was dark, only the ceiling was lit by lights which shone onto the drive of the large home. Eventually the men settled down, I could tell they had begun to play, it had been more than an hour it was dark. The room had no clock and I had left my cell in the car. I have a great fear of pocket dialing and I didn't want to worry about it. Now I wished I had brought it. I lay back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. I feared sleep, for once in the last month I had no urge to masturbate, I felt trapped like a dog in one of those chain link runs. I felt exposed, like all the men next door knew I was here, cowering and hiding from them.

I might have fallen asleep, because when the door opened I jolted up to my elbows. It was Joe. He didn't come all the way into the room, just stuck his head in, and the noise told me the poker party was still going.

"Your the entertainment, strip to your underwear, the boys are getting warmed up. Soon one of them will be along."

Then he shut the door, he didn't wait for my response, didn't even care about the expression on my face, which was horror, he probably didn't see it, it was dark in the room now. No matter he didn't care how I felt about it, I knew that.

9

God, Shit I've got to get out of here. I stood up, I paced, I went to the door two or three times. I even put my hand on the handle and twisted it once, but I couldn't bring myself to walk out of that room, to face those men. I went to the window, it opened, but I was on the second floor and there was nothing to jump onto. It was straight down maybe fifteen feet or more and that's if I hung on the outside of the house first. No I couldn't jump. I closed the window. I paced more. Then I heard cheering. They were cheering a man, taunting him, cajoling him, egging him on. His name I heard, Robert. I panicked I didn't know what to do. I was trying to think if I knew any Roberts. I didn't think so. I started to strip. I had no other choice, maybe it was dark enough they wouldn't recognize me. I looked around the room, I could make everything out, except in the corners. There was no color or detail but shapes were clear and delineated. I prayed that it was that dark enough. In only my bra and panties I lay back on the bed, facing away from the door. And then it opened. A ray of light shone along my back. And then went away when the door closed again.

Robert didn't say anything but I could hear his belt being undone and his pants falling to the floor. As he walked around to where my head was I could feel his eyes on my body. He had his right hand on his cock stroking it as he came into view. He looked at me and I looked up at him. The details of his face dim in the dark room.

"Suck it." he said and rubbed it against my lips. I opened my mouth, took him in and moved my hand up to hold it.

"No hands." He uttered. Moving his own hands to the back of my head. At first he moved himself slowly in and out of my sucking mouth as his dick became harder. I had moved on to my side to use my hand but he reached out then and pulled my body closer to him spreading my legs. He pushed the fabric of my underwear aside and began to roughly finger me. At the same time he picked up his pace.

"Suck it bitch, that's right. Make my cock hard for you. You want it up in you don't you."

"mmmhmm, yes." I whimpered without thinking. I wasn't thinking at all I realized. There was too much, more than I could think about, so I sucked this mans cock instead. I thought about it not as penis like my husbands, but as a cock, and when he spoke to me I just accepted his words. I didn't think about them as demeaning. When he said "suck," I sucked, "Make it hard bitch." So I tried to make it hard. And when he asked if I, "wanted it up in me," I said yes, because it was true, I did want him up in me. But most of all I wanted him to keep talking, keep telling me what to do. I didn't want to have to think about it.

"Ya that's right you whore, suck it, make it ready."

"mmmm" I moaned over his prick, his fingers still stretching me, making me wide for him. Open.

"Turn around, put your legs on the floor and face away from me."

I did what he told me to, and then without bidding reached back with both hands and pulled the cheeks of my ass aside arching my back to accommodate this man Robert.

"Alright," he said and chuckled, "Your as willing as they come." My ass arched again, beckoning him, and he plunged into me. It felt so good I moaned loudly. Too loudly and there was a chorus of laughter from the room next door. He continued sliding in and out of me until he too moaned, but quieter. He tensed, drove deep pushing me forward onto the bed, his weight coming down on top of me. Then he pulled back and moved slowly in and out for a bit.

He, Robert, climbed off of me then, awkwardly pushing off until he was standing again. He cleaned himself off with a stack of towels that were sitting on the bedside table, I guess I hadn't noticed them before. He pulled his pants back on and opened the door. The light streamed in onto my exposed vagina. The room outside had grown quiet when the door opened. He said loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Your a good fuck lady." And then he went out and closed the door.

I lay there my pussy hot now and starting to drip the cum that that man had put up inside me. The feeling of him running out brought back the world and I thought about my situation. I knew the next man would be coming soon. I didn't know how many were out there exactly but another one at least would come and soon. I thought about Will, and then didn't want to. Couldn't. Instead I slipped my hand underneath me and began to rub my clit. It was covered in a strange man's semen. I slid my fingers higher to my hole and they slid in easily, lubricated with my own wetness and his. I slid my other hand down and used it to rub my clit while the other slid in and out of my juicy slit.

"Slut," I said to myself, and imagined the next man who would open the door, "cheating cunt," I said. And I came shoving my face into the bed and moaning into the duvet.

I had just enough time to clean up a little before the next man came. It was much like before, but he climbed on me and whispered terrible things in my ear. Things I've never heard before. I came with him inside me. I came again when he drove deep filling me.

Two more men came after that, I didn't recognize any of them, but Joe wasn't one of them. I must have fell asleep because the door opened later and when it did I awoke. Everything was quiet now and I recognized Joe in the doorway.

"You were a hit," he said, "The guys all want your number," He chuckled a bit shaking his head, "They want you for our next poker party." I didn't respond. Joe was back lit and I couldn't see his face.

"I told them that your almost forty, but they didn't believe me."

I just lay there, I felt pride, which made me feel ashamed. I didn't know what to say. I wanted him to come to me, in the back of my mind I wanted him to make love to me now. I hoped he would.

"It doesn't really work out well for me, because as I told you the last time I like younger women."

I was quiet still. But hurt by his comment about my age. He walked into the room and over to the bed. I almost began to shake with anticipation.

He unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock.

"I don't fuck old bags like you, but I do want to get off before I go to bed."

Again the hurt. He reached out and grabbed my hair. That same hold from before, not forcing but clear. He wasn't going to make love to me, I knew that know. I had always known it. He moved me off the bed and onto the floor until I was kneeling before him. He was going to use my body, my mouth. Then he guided my face towards his prick.

"Suck me off you old whore."

His words stung, but my tired pussy flared with a renewed lust. Joe reached beside him and flipped on the light. Light flooded the room and my dark adjusted eyes lost focus for a moment. When I could see, I saw him looking down at me smirking.

"You are quite a sight." he said, his comment was not meant to be flattering and I felt an embarrassed heat run up my neck and into my cheeks.

"Let's go" he said and guided me forward. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth letting Joe inside of my body. Suddenly my head shook with a small but violent shake. I looked back up at him quickly.

"Right here." he said pointing to his eyes with his free hand, and I understood that I wasn't to look away from him. Will, my life outside of this room came to me and my hand went instinctively to my cunt and began to circle my still sensitive clit, I couldn't think about that. He was slowly moving me off and then all the way onto himself until he pushed against the back of my throat.

"OK, you can cum too," he said almost warmly, 'but not till I'm done." Again my head jerked suddenly and his eyes became stern.

"Not till I'm done." He said holding himself all the way inside of me.

"mmmm hmmm." I gurgled and repeated my affirmation with my eyes."

"That's right." he smiled, and then his face returned to a cool impassiveness that never changed while he worked himself in and out of my mouth and sometimes into my throat. After awhile he began to speed up.

"Now I'm going to cum in your mouth and you are going to swallow my stuff."

I told him I would with my eyes. But it wasn't enough because again he pushed himself into my throat and jerked my head.

"mm hmm yaaaaeeaas." I said.

"That's right you dirty old cheating cunt, you need to answer Joe." And then began to fuck my face as if it were my pussy, and finally shoved himself deeply into me, like the men did earlier when they were cumming into my belly. I felt his cock pump and jerk in my mouth. His semen running straight into and down my throat, with almost no taste. And then he pulled back and then in and out slowly.

"Make sure it's clean Erica."

When it was, he pulled it from my mouth and put it back into his pants. With that same cool dismissiveness he pulled a few dollars from his front pocket.

"I know you don't need the money," He said, "But whores should be paid, it's a matter of principle."

Then he dropped the bills. One fell at my knees, another flittered down his legs and landed tipped up on one of his shoes. He turned and flipped the light off, walking out of my little room.

"Next poker party is in three weeks." he said and then left. I heard him walk about halfway across the poker room.

"Oh you can cum now if you want, then get the fuck out of my house."

Authors Note:

She did. She lent forward and put her face on the carpet, right beside the dollar that had landed on Joe's shoes. She used both hands and it didn't take her long. After it subsided she picked herself up off the floor, went to the bedside table and using a clean towel and what was left of a glass of water one of the men had left her, washed and dried herself the best she could.

The voice didn't come to her in the car, it didn't call her names or try to make her feel guilty. It was done now, all talked out. She drove home in silence, placid and calm. She didn't shower when she got home, just got into bed and scooted her bottom against Will's warm back. She was tired, exhausted, needed to sleep. Will still asleep turned and enveloped her in his arms and body like he used to before the first time. She wondered distantly if the voice would be back tomorrow. Admonishing her, arousing her. She felt warm now, safe. She hoped not, but not for very long. She fell asleep.

End