A Wife's Revenge Ch. 03

"When Mary first saw the name, she told me right away. She's heard me talk about senior over the years. You've got to admit" he looked at me and smiled, "You weren't a Smith or a Jones."

"John, you pronounced it correctly. Either you knew somebody with that name, or hung around in that neighborhood."

John continued with a painful smile on his face. "It was both. I grew up and left Bucktown at North and Ashland on Chicago's near North West side when I was 10 years old. When I lived there as a kid, we didn't call it Chicago. We called it Chicano. Changed from a poor Polish ghetto to a poor Hispanic one when I was very young. Now it's yuppies or whatever you call them these days. Gentrification? We only borrow our neighborhoods in the city." That's when he stared directly into my eye. "I hunted down Bret's birth certificate. It matched all that Senior shared with me over the years.

"As part of my job, I've become very good in tracking down information. I've found the reasons for your divorce, his leaving Illinois and teaching and schools. I've seen the video too but that was taken after your divorce. As an ex-wife, I knew that you'd have more of the story. You could be helpful in possibly finding other relatives. I redoubled my efforts and still didn't find any possibilities."

"John, you asking me questions finally put some things together for me too. It wasn't long after the loss of his mother, he started to change slightly. I can see now he was running away. He really never grieved her loss. Looking back, his ..."

Mary broke in, "There's little we can do for the past. The big question is when or IF he wakes up. What kind of shape will he be in?"

We all became silent for a minute. Nothing like putting things into perspective. "Mary, John, I'll be here for a couple of days to see what happens and to be here for Bret. At the least, a couple more days here." I know when I'm nervous I start repeating myself. I took a deep breath to slow down my racing mind.

"If I need to sign a Do Not Resuscitate order, a DNR, I'll do it. It makes no sense or honor to let him linger. I think that I'd hate myself if he needed it and didn't have it, or he needed it and we used it." I closed my eyes to think about what I said.

"I'll have to play it day-by-day." I waited a few seconds then began again. "John, could you tell me about him and his father? Do you know what happened?"

"Lucy, the best I can do is that Senior was having an episode."

Mary impatiently broke in "What he means is that he had another psychotic episode."

Finally meeting you father, your only living flesh and blood and he's crazy? With the all the losses in his life and his bad choices... It had to be final bit that put him over the edge.

I looked at John and asked, "Is it possible to see Bret's apartment? With what you know, and what I know, maybe we could get a better idea of him? I would like to see the letters you told me about." Then I stopped.

I felt I needed to clarify my place in this. "I have to let you know that I am engaged and have no desire to break my engagement or get back together with Bret. Like I said before, I'm here because he needed somebody now. I will try to help Bret, but that will be the limit until he is able to take care of himself. Or passes.

"I came here because he was alone without any support. And now I find out you think it was maybe a suicide attempt?" I closed my eyes and became silent. I needed to say a quick prayer, for Bret, for me.

When I opened my eyes again, Mary and John were looking at me intensely. "I'm sorry for checking out for a bit. I needed some support." They looked at me with a question on their faces, then I added, "I needed to pray."

John replied, "I went to Saint Mary of the Angels near Armitage. I understand."

I smiled. "Do you know that people got together and restored that church? It was a huge undertaking. All volunteer funds." John smiled. The church is beautiful again.

That night I called Dave again and poured out my feelings and thoughts. Dave reassured me that I was doing the right thing. He asked that I give him an update immediately if something drastic changed. Other than that, I'd call in the evening when I was free tomorrow. With the time change, it would be right before Dave would go to bed.

The next day I spent in Bret's hospital room talking quietly to him. I've been told by a couple of people that sometimes the unconscious can hear what is going on around them. It can provide peace and some answers. I hope it did something for him. I know that talking to Bret was helpful for me.

When his betrayal was shoved into my face, he was so full of himself and I was so angry and hurt that there was no possibility of closure. Months later he was still the same, still chasing more thrills, not caring about anybody but his next...

When we decided to go ahead with our plan to expose him, I thought that it would do something for me. All that planning and we never got the chance. His lover caused his entire world to fall apart. She did our job for us. I got a little satisfaction from his downfall, but really, it only continued the emptiness.

I've used these hours at his bedside to work on that closure. Admittedly it was kind of one sided, and kind of not. Sometimes I thought I heard a slight moan, but even when I was quiet I'd sometimes hear that moan too. Either way, it was not an angry or a hurt moan. Maybe I'm just kidding myself. No, I'm definitely kidding myself. Mary showed me which machines and graphs and numbers I should look at. There was little change in either of those.

We couldn't get into Bret's apartment. John wasn't able to pull any strings on this one. Get out of Chicago and nobody has any pull? What is this world coming to?

By the end of my second day at the hospital, there were some positive medical signs. Swelling was going down, his vitals were improving. Some of the bigger issues appeared to be clearing up. I left more hopeful at 8 that night and the hotel shuttle took me back.

It's funny, I was sitting around all day. Sitting around thinking, talking to him and worrying and whatever. Then I had to drag myself back to the hotel. I would have felt better if I had moved furniture, washed walls or dug the proverbial ditch all day. At least then I'd have a real reason as why I was exhausted.

Walking into the lobby I heard somebody call to me from behind, "Still miss me?" I spun around. Dave is standing there with a silly grin on his face reaching out to me. Into his arms and his love for me, his protection for me, his helping me be the best person possible. Giving your partner what they need is so much better than giving your partner what they want. A hug and a kiss and my fiancé and I am one with the world.

We got his suitcase to my room and headed back out for dinner. The clerk suggested a place in walking distance. I don't remember what I ate or what I drank. All I can say is that I didn't stop talking for over an hour. When I finally calmed down, I saw that I had finished two glasses of wine and a chicken masala. It was 10 PM and I was still wired for sound.

"Lucy?"

"Yes Dave, what is it?"

"Have you heard anything I've said in the past hour?"

I looked at him in horror. I honestly didn't remember anything he said.

He stated laughing and gently held my hand. "You've actually heard everything I've said."

"What are you talking about?" My panic increased, "I don't remember anything. I don't remember anything." I started to tremble.

"That's because I couldn't get a word in edgewise, so I didn't try." At that he let out a belly laugh that startled everybody at the bar. "Come here my wife-to-be. I love you and right now this is what you need." He gave me a sweet kiss and a warm hug. "There'll come a time when it'll be your turn to listen to me. OK?" I nodded yes with relief. "Let's go and get some sleep, you've got to be exhausted."

"How about going to bed instead?" as my hand lightly slapped his right cheek, and hit his wallet. He laughed and kissed my hand promising to make it better.

We almost ran back to the hotel. I had half of his shirt out of his pants on the way up the elevator. Somebody saw us get out of the elevator and Dave turned beet red. That's Dave all right. He ran to the room and opened it with the keycard. In seconds after closing the door, we were naked and holding on to each other. That warmth, that touching... It wasn't fully sexual, yet, it was the closeness of us. We are so matched to each other. It took a bad marriage for me to fully understand what I needed.

Waking in the morning I saw Dave reading. He had to have been up hours earlier. He's was still on Chicago time and he wakes at 5:15 AM. I'd adjusted to California time already. "Well sleepy head. Finally getting up?"

"You know Dave that the hotel breakfast is good for two more hours." As he reached for me, I realized that breakfast was going to be at least an hour later. I didn't mind.

At the hospital we were able to talk with Mary and get the updates since yesterday. Bret's medical condition kept improving, slowly, but improving. It could also reverse direction at a moment's notice. It was still a waiting game. By the time lunch rolled around, Dave suggested that I go to the cafeteria for lunch while he held the fort. When I came back, he went for lunch.

At this point, I wasn't sure what good I was doing here. There was a chance that he could take days or even weeks to wake. The doctors were comfortable enough to decrease his sedation this morning. There was little difference in his condition because of that, a very good medical sign for Bret.

Dave and I repeated dinner out at the same place and our love making afterwards. Sometimes the physical presence of your love says so much, so much more than words can. Dave being here makes me feel so secure, loved, and everything I need. I know I'm a woman, and women tend to need to have more things in words, more than guys do. This is how I am and I've been this way. But not always, and not here, and not now.

We were at back at the hospital by 9 AM and got the update from the new nurse assigned to Bret. Mary had started her three days off. Dave and I passed the time on our tablets, walking the halls, doing emails, whatever. We may not be at work, but work was with us. By the time lunch rolled around, Dave told me to go first, and be sure to take my time. I needed the exercise and today we agreed that we'd hit the hotel gym after dinner. A second way to burn off the energy.

I took a leisurely lunch and did some walking outside in the wonderful sunshine. I know why I'm here. I don't know how long that will be. I do know that Dave has to get back and we've been planning that he'd leave tomorrow evening. I'm starting to think about leaving the day after that.

Getting back I found Dave walking back and forth in front of Bret's room. "He started to moan and move and I got the nursing staff right away. We need to go to the waiting room while they check him out."

It took another 45 minutes till Joan, his new nurse, came to see us. "He's slowly coming out of it, but he isn't lucid. Good eye responses so far. You two can go in and sit with him but call us immediately if there is any change from now. Other than that, I'll be doing my normal rounds, hourly." She paused, "He's not out of the woods yet. He'll be getting another scan later this evening."

We reentered his room to hear him quietly moan and try to move his casted right arm about. I sent Dave to get some lunch and he hurried back. Bret kept this up this pattern until we left at 8 that night. Dave put off his return to Chicago another day. He wanted to be here with me. I could have lived without him here, but I didn't want to.

A light meal of take out, the elliptical machines at the hotel and love making until midnight rounded out up our day.

When we returned to the hospital the next morning, we found his room empty. Joan told us that he was getting a scan and was expected to be transferred to a regular room. He became much more responsive sometime after 10 last night and hours of examinations and checks kept him awake. Bret finally got back to sleep at 4 this morning. He was doing pretty good, all things considered. Medically things were looking up. We went to his new room on another floor to wait for him.

By 11:30 Bret had not yet arrived. We decided that I'd take lunch first so I went to the cafeteria alone to grab a quick bite. Over three years and now I get to talk with my ex. What do I say? What will he say? Lunch was pretty tasteless as I slowly played with my food and confronted my fears. Finally, I got up to return to Bret's latest room.

As I approached the room, I heard Bret's voice. It wasn't strong, it wasn't loud, but was clear and a bit hesitant. I turned into the room to see Bret startle when I came into view. There was concern painted all over his face.

Dave broke in with a mischievous smile on his face, "Lucy, I'd like you to meet..."

"Hello Bret" and the room became quiet.

"Hello Lucy." Bret paused, "T-T-Thank you for coming out here for me." He paused again and tried to say more, but the words caught in his throat.

Dave broke in, "Bret started out asking me if I was Dave, so you speaking to him the last couple of days actually worked. He heard part of what you talked to him about."

Bret waved his uncasted left arm for us to be quiet. "I'm still pretty groggy and they still won't know for a while if there is lasting damage. My nurse told me to go slow." He exhaled slowly, then stammered, "I-I-I don't know if it'll take days to find out if there will be permanent damage. OK?"

At that point his nurse came into the room and asked that we give her some time. "Dave and I will be back in what, 30 minutes?" The nurse said "Make that 40 and you got yourself a deal. He'll be finishing lunch then, if you count a liquid diet lunch." She chuckled and Dave groaned. "He'll be on more solid foods for dinner. He has another test that he should be empty for." Dave and I left for the cafeteria to get Dave something to eat.

"Dave, what did he say? What did he ask for? What did..."

"Slow down there missy, we have lots of time. One thing that you may want to do now is schedule John Martin to come in and speak with Bret. That'll be one of the two most important things he needs to talk about. You are the other.

"We had about 25 minutes together, he showed up just after you entered the elevators. After I introduced myself as Dave, he then asked if you were really here. When I said yes and that you'd been here for a couple of days. Then he asked if I was your Dave. Then why you came for him.

"I answered him honestly but I don't think that he believed me at first. After a bit of back and forth I realized that he began to understand.

"I asked him about his father. There was lots of pain in his face when he began talking about Senior. Same story as John Martin told you. Take the time now to get in contact with Martin and see when he can talk with Bret. He needs those answers. Your issues with him should be addressed after that. OK?"

That was Dave. Take care of the most important things first - people in need - and the most hurting people first. While Dave ate I called John Martin and he agreed to talk with Bret after John got off of work this evening. By that time, we started to return to Bret's room.

"Lucy, please take it easy on him. From what I heard from him, he's not exactly the same person he was when you divorced. His words and thoughts are choppy. Just be who you are. By the way, the discharge planner is scheduled to come on by tomorrow morning. I think you should be there for that. I've already changed my flight to 6 AM tomorrow. I hope you don't mind but work calls."

"I'm wondering if I should take the same flight home. Do you think that enough will be accomplished? After all, he can now make his own medical decisions." Dave shrugged his shoulders and then shook his head no. That was the best either of us could do.

Walking into the room, Bret was sitting up drinking some broth with a coffee chaser. He smiled a warm smile when he saw me. I can't remember the last time I saw a warm smile from him. That was a lifetime ago.

"Y-Y-You came for me. After the jerk I-I-I was to you. Y-Y-You came for me." His face showed astonishment and gratitude. I sat down in the chair next to his bed and held his hand. He gripped it tightly.

"I-I-I heard you sometimes when you were talking here while I was laying here. I thought I died. You were the last person in the world that I would ever see. Why did you come?"

"There wasn't anybody else for you that they found. No matter what a jerk you had been, no one should be abandoned when they're in need. You were in a motorcycle accident. That was after an awful meeting with your father." It was hard to continue and I hesitated. "Did you want to hurt yourself?"

"F-F-FUCK NO" Bret was pissed. That was a good sign, a spark shot from his eyes. No, that was a great sign. "T-T-There was a little Hispanic kid, maybe 8 years old on a bike. He had a Sammy Sosa baseball jersey on. Cubs in California? Lovable losers are everywhere, aren't they?" He chuckled a little, held up his casted right arm signaling that he was part of that crowd. He winced from the pain and we both laughed at his joke and his self-inflicted pain. Then he continued. "The kid barreled off the sidewalk right in front of me. It was the tree or him." He looked at me, "I-I-I chose the tree. I-I-I remember seeing that tree approach in slow motion. Trees don't lose."

The nurse came into the room. "Transport will be by in a couple of minutes to take you for another test. I need to get you ready for it. You two could you wait here till he returns but it should be at least 2 hours."

Bret raised his voice, "I want to talk about us and apolo..."

"Bret, you got a couple of things that you need to deal with. These tests and your father are on the short list. I'm on the long list. We'll see you after this test."

The nurse butted in, "He's going to be exhausted after this test and probably be asleep until dinner due to the medication and his condition. I wouldn't count on him being up."

Bret turned to me with an intensity of anger and hurt, "My father is out of his mind. There's no way I can..."

"After dinner I'll introduce you to Officer John Martin of the San Jose police. He's known your father over the past 30 years. His wife is Mary, your nurse when you were in ICU. I think that he'll be able to give you some answers."

Bret looked at me with fear and hope in his eyes. I continued, "After that, Dave and I can come back after dinner to process that with you and talk about you and me too if you have the energy. We all have things to say."

At that moment transport walked into the room. I continued, "Can you wait until then Bret? Can you wait?" He nodded yes in resignation and pain. I think the pain was not physical but emotional.

For several hours we spent time in coffee shops and walking around. Then we had dinner together early. Walking around, this was not Chicago. Bright, warm, full of 'beautiful people' and a driving tech atmosphere. At home and in Chicago's Loop, it's driving financial types. But Chicago is home to me and our families. That's worth more to me than beautiful weather, much more.

As we walked and talked, I knew that it was more than helpful that Dave was with me. It was helpful that Bret was not the same person he was before. We returned to Bret's floor and saw John Martin talking with one of the nurses at the desk. The nurse appeared to be one of his wife's friends. I asked that he wait until I do the introduction.

Dave and I walked in to see Bret looking very worried. "Ready to hear about your father Bret?"