Absolute Corruption

"Popcorn?" Calculator suggested.

"Make some more wishes?" Gabe asked.

"Victory orgy?" Laxy said, clapping her hands together.

"Wait, what?" Gail asked, blinking a few times. I grinned at her.

"That's Laxy's suggestion for everything," I said, nodding. "But I think Gabe is right. You two deserve at least some wishes."

"Oh, I've been thinking of this since this started," Gabe said, nodding eagerly and rubbing his hands together. "Basically? I want to be Highlander immortal and have five million dollars in my back account."

"Highlander immortal?" Gail asked, sounding confused.

"Basically," Gabe explained. "You regenerate any damage you take and can only die if your head gets chopped off." He slapped at his neck. "So, it means I can live forever, can't suffer crippling injuries, and if in a few million years I get bored, I can end it all."

Gail opened her mouth, then closed it. "You know, that actually sounds pretty fucking good. I vote for that for my wish too."

Calculator nodded, bowing his head and clapping his palms together. "So it was wished...so it is done."

The two Aussies grinned at one another. Laxy waited a good five seconds, then threw her arms around their shoulders, grinning at them, leaning between their two bodies. "Soooooo?" she asked. "Victory orgy?"

"How about no?" Gabe said, reaching up and gently unhooking Laxy's arm. "No offense -- but, uh...well...might as well be honest? I'm just not feeling it between us. No offense."

Laxy pouted -- then looked at Gail. Gail snorted.

"In your dreams, kid."

"We could wish for it!" Laxy shouted after them as they started to walk away -- towards the portal that Calculator had opened.

Gail turned back.

She grinned.

"Remember what they say about absolute power?" she asked.

Then she was gone.

Laxy leaned against me, pouting. "Pout," she said, out loud. "Oh well. Wanna take me home and rail me?"

"I'm down. You down, Calculator?" I asked.

Calculator grinned.

Together, we ported away.

And at the bottom of the ocean, a fedora nestled to the sea-floor, weighted down by water and salt and spirits. Quietly, a crab picked it up, then scuttled away.

THE END