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Many thanks to Jedbeaker for editing this story.

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We, my wife Lisa (36), our children Emil (10) and Stella (8) and I, Lucas Franzén (37) were an average Scandinavian, small town, VVV-family. That simply means that we had a house, a Volvo V70 and a dog.

Lisa and I met at a party, fell in love, married 12 years ago and she is still a good looking woman but in no way outstanding among her middle class friends.

Our relationship was like many others; some ups, some downs but never any real problems,

neither economic or in our sex life. I never suspected Lisa was doing anything behind my back. And I had no intentions of doing something behind her back myself. Nobody knows if such rare things as perfect families really exist, but if so, my family must have been rather close to that.

Of course, we weren't living in some soap-bubble and received many insights into unexpected

relationship problems, when several friends and acquaintances parted for different reasons. The worst of them was when the wife next door was caught in her bed with her married boss, who happens to be a cousin of my wife. The fact that the ex-neighbor Anton Larsson was and still is my best friend and his wife Emma was good friend with Lisa gave us a complete view into both our friends' and my wife's cousin's dirty divorces.

My own problems began in a totally innocent and unexpected way. Lisa works one Saturday a month which is compensated for, with free-time after lunch every Wednesday. She really likes that deal so she can take care of her many errands while the kids are at school.

That Wednesday, I remembered that I had forgotten to ask her about doing an errand for me.

So I tried call her at our home phone after lunch but got no reply. I thought she was out and called her cell phone also without getting a reply which made me slightly confused.

We had recently bought identical new advanced smart-phones. Lisa's main tool was the high class camera that she used a lot for including pictures to the large number of messages she sent to friends and relatives. She cared less for most of the many other factory included functions, several of them undeletable junk apps. I myself was more curious about all the possibilities and took my time to try most of those apps. Now, I thought was the right time to use an app called "Latitude" which would show me in a satellite picture where Lisa's phone was at that very moment. I had expected her to be at the mall or in the town center shopping area, but to my surprise, I could see she was in or at a house just outside of town. One hour later I could see she was still there, but the third time I looked, she was in the supermarket where we shopped.

Back home after the job when I asked why she hadn't taken my call, she took up the phone, looked at her missed calls and said, "Very strange, indeed, because most of that time I was at the mall, together with Lena Nordén, looking for a new skirt that I need to buy."

"Did you find any?" I asked.

"No, but I hope for better luck the next time."

"Do you intend to spend the whole weekend in fashion shops?"

She smiled and replied, "No, it can wait until next Wednesday."

I didn't make any further comments, but knew for sure that Lisa had told me a lie. That started a warning bell ringing in my head.

The next day after work I took a drive past the place where she had been the day before. It was on a road a short distance out of town, with forest on one side and houses on the other. There were good distances between the houses so there couldn't be any doubt about the correct address where she had been. Then it was a piece of cake for me to find out that a schoolteacher by the name of Tommy Alm was the owner and living in that house.

Further searching about him on the official sites on the web showed that he was 35 years old and had gotten a final divorce from a marriage without children only three months ago. He didn't work in our children's school so it could hardly have been any school matters that had brought Lisa to his house. So, whatever her reason was to see this Tommy Alm at his home, it must have been some kind of private matter that she preferred not to tell me.

Without any evidence that my dear wife was into some crap with that Alm I could not tell her I was using satellites and her own phone to spy on her doings. And neither could I accuse her of lying to me without getting further information about what she was into with this teacher, since it could be something totally innocent.

However, next week on her free Wednesday afternoon, I was better prepared when the app in my phone showed that she was at his house again. I took off from my job for a couple of hours and pretended to be a bird watcher in the forest on the opposite road-side from Alm's house.

Nobody saw me there hiding in the tight bush but my binoculars gave me a perfect view of the target. Though it was obvious that Lisa's phone was in that house, I couldn't see her car, only his silver metallic Audi.

I rang Lisa's cell phone and when she replied after several rings I asked, "Are you at the mall or going there today?"

"Yes I'm in a fashion shop at the mall. Why are you asking me that?"

"Because I've hurt my back this morning. I wondered if you could buy me a jar of Tiger Balm at the pharmacy there at the mall."

"Of course, my darling."

"I love you for that." I said, while my thought was what a lying bitch.

About an half hour later Lisa and a man came out from the house, got into his car and after a quick kiss in the front seat they drove away. Now it was clear to me that I had witnessed a part of a dirty game. It was not too difficult to imagine what had happened in the house.

I went back to my job, stayed one hour late to calm down and when back home, I had Lisa massage my back with the Tiger Balm she had bought. Though there was no real problem with my back, it was a good excuse to avoid having sex with her.

Now it was high time to make plans to stop this farce. After some thinking my decision was clear. I would do it alone, but if Anton Larsson offered to help me it would be even better.

When Anton heard about my problems he shook his head several times and said, "I would never think that Lisa would do the same shit to you that Emma did to me. She must have gone crazy. She really must be totally nuts for terminating a marriage as good as yours."

Then he suggested to me what to do and offered to get me what I needed to do it. I accepted.

Who knew Lisa's intentions with Tommy Alm? Have a short-time affair? Or did she really love him and was waiting for the right time to dump me? For me it didn't matter a shit, she had already soiled our marriage much more than I could take with my honor left intact.

My dear wife had a strange look on her face when I declined her invitations for sex both Friday and Saturday evenings due to my "aching back". I promised to see a doctor if the back wasn't better on Wednesday, so that put her in a slightly better mood.

The next Wednesday was an exciting day. Both my friend Anton and I had taken off from our jobs after lunch and now were sitting in his brother's car. We were parked slightly off the main road only a short distance from Tommy Alm's house. Our main interest was focused on the display of my smart phone which showed that Lisa's phone had been at the mall for almost one hour and now was in the mall main parking lot. Then it began moving in our direction.

"That damn bitch intends to do it again." I said.

Anton nodded but didn't say anything. We guessed Lisa had eaten lunch at one of the restaurants in the mall and now Tommy Alm had picked her up for their love session.

We gave them slightly more than fifteen minutes in the house before we parked in his driveway. Since the door was locked, we rang the bell. Nothing happened. We rang again and this time a male voice shouted, "Who are you? What do you want?"

Anton replied in a loud voice, "The Electric Power Company, we have to check your meter. It will only take a minute."

After a slight delay, the door was opened by a man in a black velvet dressing gown. That was the start signal for our action. Anton hit the man hard in his solar plexus, laying him out on the floor and held him down there. I rushed past them into the house with a five liter plastic drum in my right hand searching for the bedroom which I found a few seconds later.

The sight in there put the definitive full stop to my marriage. In the bed I could see a naked Lisa trying to hide under the sheet. Without saying a word, I unscrewed the cap from my drum and poured some of its contents, a terrible-stinking mix of pig-shit and pig-piss, over the pile of male and female clothes on a chair. Then a naked, screaming Lisa ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I continued pouring a fair amount of the stinking mixture on the very expensive looking bed, then some in a wardrobe and some on the soft carpet before I left the room.

Back at the front door, Anton was still holding down the man on the floor. When Anton saw me he stood up and shouted to the man on the floor, "Try to move and I will crush your balls."

Tommy Alm didn't move and Anton threw his dressing gown open so I could pour the remaining quantity of the stinking pig-shit & pig-piss mix, about one and half liter, on my soon to be ex-wife's naked lover boy.

Before we left Anton warned Alm that the local vigilance committee would punish him if he or Lisa contacted the police. The local vigilance committee became well known after an action some time ago when a notorious drunk driver was found chained to a lamp-post early on a Sunday morning outside a former police station. For some reason it had taken a long time for the police patrol from the county capital to get there and as they didn't know anybody in town, it had taken an even longer time for them to find a locksmith to cut off the chains. That episode was well written about in our local newspaper and even mentioned in the national tabloid newspapers. Tommy Alm understood what could happen and didn't dare to challenge the committee.

Lisa stayed away from home until Saturday morning when she brought her parents with her. She signed the divorce papers without any arguing and packed up her clothes and other personal belongings. To my great relief she didn't try any bullshit such as, "It was not what you thought it was or I'm sorry it was a big mistake".

We even agreed about our children and the sharing of our bank accounts. Thus was ended, our once upon a time happy marriage of twelve years.

Epilog

Now since this story was written, it has been nine weeks since I found my wife Lisa naked in Tommy Alm's bed and our divorce will be final in about four months. My life is still in a terrible turmoil and I'm sure it will take a long time for me return to a normal life again.

Lisa is living with her parents and Alm has moved into his house again. He had been living in a rented trailer on his front lawn while his house was restored after my attack with the stinking pig-shit/piss.

The love story between Lisa and Tommy Alm lasted only three weeks after she left our house. She never moved into his trailer or his house and spent only some nights there. These became fewer and fewer every week. Cheating might be an exciting and romantic experience but having a real relation with the lover isn't always the main highway to happiness. At least it wasn't for my soon to be ex-wife.

The gossip from Lisa's friends says that she and Tommy Alm had a fling when Lisa and three other wives spent a long week-end in Barcelona, Spain, two years ago. And then they happened to meet again when he got a job and bought a house in our town after his wife left him. Her friends even said that a divorce from me had never been the goal for Lisa. She had only regarded Tommy Alm as a once in the lifetime a romantic fling and had intended to stop it the week before my action. But he had persuaded her to meet him one more time which she now regretted like hell. But she didn't know it had already been too late to save our marriage, even a week earlier. However, today she knows one thing for sure, cheating stinks like hell.