Adam and Sarah

"And you spent three of those years fucking another man behind my back. Cuckolding me and making me raise another man's child. Lying to me every time you fucked that asshole and spent the night sleeping with me. Explain that to your parents, my family, your pastor and your co-workers. They'll all see you the way I see you every time I look at you, as a cold, calculating slut. Sign the custody agreement and I'll keep my mouth shut. Hold out and I'll give everybody Tina's test results along with the video I took of you coming out of Glen's apartment while you were tucking your blouse in your skirt."

Sarah went from extremely mad to extremely sad at my words; like a balloon with the air gone.

I know it might sound odd to some people, but when you're looking at a person that you loved with all your heart go through so much pain, it's hard not to feel a little bit sorry for that person. After all, you just spent the better part of your adulthood trying to take away anything that would cause that person pain or suffering. You watched her struggle to give birth to your children (even if one of them is not your biological child). But then your mind goes back to the fact that this woman, your best friend and lover, lied and cheated on you for years without showing the same remorse you now feel for her. What do you do?

Sarah's attorney interrupted my thoughts. "Can we have some time to discuss the custody arrangements?"

My attorney and I whispered back and forth until we agreed. "You can have three days. Get back to us on Thursday at the latest. We'll be waiting for your reply. Just remember that my client is prepared to make Tina's paternity public if the terms are not agreed upon. We are not accepting any counter proposals to Mr. Milvec receiving custody of his son Brent. Note that our proposal allows your client visitation with her son. She will be allowed to have one weekend a month and two weeks each summer with Brent."

Sarah put her head into her hands and started weeping again. She stopped sobbing long enough to whisper in her attorney's ear.

"Mrs. Milvec would like to know if her husband is seeking visitation with their daughter."

My attorney touched my arm to silence me and answered the question herself. "At this time Mr. Milvec is not requesting any visitation with Tina, but requests that Tina continue to have access to Mr. Milvec's parents. If Tina's paternity is to remain a secret, his mother will most likely wish to continue her relationship with Tina. If it becomes public that Mr. Milvec is not Tina's biological father, in all likelihood his mother will discontinue seeing the child. This is probably another reason to urge your client to sign our custody proposal and allow the child's paternity to remain a secret."

Sarah - Epilogue

There you have it; I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I looked across the table at Adam. He was looking right at me, his expression seemed to be, "Who is this woman?" I'm certain he must be asking "why?"

How could I answer him? Even if he gave me the opportunity? Which he hasn't since he left months ago, we haven't exchanged two sentences except through our attorneys. What would I tell Adam? That I wanted his love and a fuck buddy at the same time? Not even considering what it meant to him or my family?

After Adam and his attorney left the room I told my attorney that I was agreeing to Adam's terms. My attorney said we should wait the three days before answering just so we wouldn't appear too anxious.

"Why? I already put that poor man through so much bullshit! He didn't do anything to deserve what happened; all he ever did was love me and his kids. Now he doesn't love me and he barely touches our daughter. Give me the papers, I want to sign right now!"

I signed and that was the beginning of the end of my life. My money situation forced me to sell our house, there wasn't much equity after paying the realtor and Adam received half of what was left. I'm using my half to pay for the therapy sessions; trying to find the reasons for my stupidity and to try and keep some semblance of sanity.

At thirty-four I'm moving back to my parents' house with my daughter. Adam and Brent moved to the capital for his new job. Glen moved somewhere west after Adam's lawsuit for Tina's support money. I wasn't allowed to touch the money in her accounts. Glen snarled at me after giving notice at the Agency, "Your pussy wasn't worth all the aggravation." So I think Adam had something to do with Glen's moving away.

I get to see Brent for two days every month; Adam has me pick Brent up at my mother-in-law's because Adam won't see me that way. Adam insists we communicate via email whenever we have to discuss any child related issues. So I never see him, never hear his voice, never feel his arms around me and I'll never have him inside me again.

In other words- my life is shit and I deserve it.