Addict

copyright @ Shuttlepilot

all rights reserved, 2012

Frank entered the dimly lit room and sat down, the waste basket between his legs. He slipped the latex glove onto his left hand, opened the Vaseline, ran his fingers inside the plastic tub and waited.

She came into the room and lay on the bed, followed by her young lover. It had been a week since Frank had seen her naked and he noticed there was a new tattoo on the small of her back. He couldn't quite make it out but he thought it made her look sluttier than he knew she already was. He looked closely and noticed there was a gold nipple ring, also, and wondered who had convinced her to further degrade herself. The man with her held his cock to her mouth and she began to lick its head, finally opening her lips and taking it inside.

Frank began to stroke himself, the latex glove moving easily with the Vaseline over his erection. It seemed it was the only way he became hard, these days, and for a moment, an angry frown crossed his face.

She had rolled over onto her hands and knees and the man slowly, then more rapidly, pushed his cock into her pussy and she began to moan as he smacked her. "Uh... uh... uh... uh..." was all Frank heard as he felt his own tension start. He slowed his own stroking, trying to stretch it out and almost stopped. She, for her part, winked, and now had her lover's cock entering her ass and that was enough for Frank to spew into the waste basket, his hand moving so quickly he moaned, himself.

He sat there, for a while, waiting for his breathing to return to normal, as she continued to fuck the man, pushing back against him.

Frank reached out and turned the computer off, finished for the night, plunging the room into darkness.

*****

The next morning, he went downstairs to breakfast. Maria had fixed his usual: two Eggos and some jam, strawberry this time, a glass of milk, a cup of tea and his morning medications, the main one being Risperidone. The damned drug had killed his desire for her to the point that lately, he didn't want her to touch him. Last night had been the worst. He tried to be considerate... if that was the right word and spooned against her but when his wife reached back and began to hold him, stroking him, he took her hand away and rolled to the other side of the bed. He hated himself for what he had done to her but what could he do?

Maria had gone with him to his neurologist. He wished he had his old one but he had retired, leaving the practice to his partner. Now... that woman was strange, Frank thought. Her Goth attire had been bad enough but when she told Maria he had a chemical imbalance of the brain... that's what she had called it, a chemical imbalance of the brain. Doctor Humbrol had spoken directly to Maria, ignoring him like he was a five-year-old child. He admitted to himself that he had been having problems and for some reason, had now been diagnosed with Tourette syndrome. In his case, it was causing facial tics and stuttering. Damn it! He had made his living speaking to groups, mostly university seminars and now, if this couldn't be controlled, he was done... at least, with the public part of it. He still could write, he supposed, but the drug also had taken away his enthusiasm by making him drowsy.

Later that day, they had gone to see his cardiologist for his six month checkup. Following his bypass surgery, the statins Doctor Smilder had prescribed for his cholesterol was causing his ED. His cholesterol levels were perfect but at what cost? He hated his life. What if the levels were too high?

What Frank didn't understand, though, was how he was able to pleasure himself watching the internet porn that gave him his only relief. Maybe, he thought, it was because he was slouching down on the chair and the blood pressure was just right. Having sex with his wife the way she liked it required him to either stand at the edge of the bed or kneel behind her as he took her.

Ever since the heart operation five years earlier, though, he had problems. She had decided that sex was too strenuous for him, saying that he could have a heart attack even though the doctor had said that was highly unlikely. Five years with no sex... well, that wasn't quite true... no intercourse... she got plenty of orgasms as he licked and kissed her there.

And now... this. It was just too damn much and he was sick of it. Between her refusals and now the new drugs, he felt worse than any time in his life.

Like any man, he wasn't going to take it lying down and went to see his general practitioner. Doctor Staciarly was surprisingly helpful, giving his a handful of samples of Cialis. She told him about the drug company's free 30 day offer and wrote out his prescription for them. "I think these might help you," she said.

"I appreciate that," he replied, "but that doesn't help me with actually wanting to do it."

"What do you mean?" she asked, now worried at his response.

"It's simple. I just don't feel like doing it."

"At all?"

"No, just with her... I, uh, well... I can masturbate using the internet but with her..." He refused to mention how lately he had begun watching black girls on the site... the last forbidden subject.

"Tomorrow, bring in your medications. Something's not right and I want to test them. I think maybe you're getting something other than what you should."

"All right, thanks. You have no idea how much this is bothering me... and her, I know. I don't know how much longer we can continue, like this. I love her so much but what can I do?"

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said.

He promised to return the next day and left for home. As he entered the house, his wife greeted him with a warm, loving kiss.

"I missed you," she said, taking his coat and putting it away. "Dinner's almost ready. Were you able to get what you wanted from the hobby store?"

He had never lied to his wife before but there was no way he was going to tell her he had gone to see the doctor. Their lives had revolved around doctor after doctor after doctor and he could see the stress on her face each time they went to another one. Getting older was no fun.

The next day, he went to see Doctor Staciarly again.

"Each of these drugs, by themselves, is fine and does what it's supposed to," she began, "but when you start taking them together, the effects multiply beyond what we want. I will do the best I can but I have to speak with your other doctors, first."

"Thank you," he said and hoped that she would be able to do something for him. As each day progressed, he felt worse and worse.

Frank went to see his new psychologist. The woman was pleasant looking and had enough degrees hanging on her wall to impress even him.

"Well, Frank, after listening to everything, I think that part of your problem is that you resent what your wife did... cutting you off from sex for five years and now, the drug changes haven't done you any favors."

"Hidden resentment... I suppose that's possible. But, what do I do about it?"

"Have you spoken to your wife about it?"

"It was more like a yelling... and the Cialis worked just fine at first... until these new drugs... and now, I'm back where I started... actually, worse."

"Frank, I think a lot of it is psychological... yes, I know, strange coming from a psychologist..." she laughed. "But, since you're able to have an erection and climax with the internet, there's nothing wrong with your physical situation. We have to work on what these new drugs are doing to your mind and try and get around it."

That night I spent fifteen minutes with a beautiful curly-headed black girl with the cutest face I'd ever seen. When I was finished, I shut off the computer and went to bed, feeling better and not feeling better.

The next morning, I awoke to aching muscles and joints and was very, very thirsty. I called Doctor Staciarly and was given an immediate appointment.

"I'm going to reduce your prescriptions. Here, take this pill cutter with you and just do it that way... so you don't have to pay for new meds. I want you to double your dosage of Cialis, to 10 mg. a day. I want you to take it early in the morning so that you're good for the entire day or do you want to have sex in the evening?"

"I just want to have a normal life, Doctor, that's all."

"Fine. Then take them every day in the late afternoon. I want to see you, Friday. In the meantime, I'm going to call your other doctors and see what they have to say about it."

"Thanks, Doctor. This is driving me crazy."

... ... ... ...

I went home that day and when the early evening approached, I dutifully took two Cialis, hoping for some improvement. That night, nothing really changed but the next morning, I decided to actually read what was necessary to make the drug work effectively. To my surprise, I found that manual stimulation was required. In other words, I had to jack myself hard before having sex. I started to laugh, figuring I could do that or Maria could definitely do that.

The next afternoon, I took two more pills and decided to see if enough had built up in my system to give me some kind of relief.

... ... ...

All be damned, I thought, as I pushed myself into Maria "doggie-style" and began a rhythm that brought a swelling to my cock and I could feel myself getting to a much longed for and expected orgasm.

For a while, I thought I had lost my erection, feeling my mind drift in my own insecurities but then I gazed down at her so wonderful ass as I pounded into her from behind. I felt myself getting there and for the first time in months, I felt good about myself as I erupted into her.

I resolved to thank Doctor Staciarly the next morning as soon as her office opened and as I lay on the bed beside my wife, I ran my hand up and down her back from her shoulders to the bottom of her waist. I kissed her below and behind her ear for I knew that made her feel oh so good and she gave me a smile I hadn't seen in such a long time.

"I love you," I said, quietly.

She smiled and just said, "Welcome home."