Addiction

Another night alone.

I showered and put on a soft gown and laid on the sofa in the den with a Cosmos magazine, listening to some country music on the stereo.

As I flipped through the pages it crossed my mind how I was getting better. Less crying, a lot of sweet memories and listening to the radio was not as bad as it had been, I could actually listen to some sad songs and keep it together now.

It had been a few weeks now since he stepped away. Not loving me less, he says, just needing to work on his home life.

I glanced at the clock and decided that if I closed my eyes for a short 'power nap' I could make it to ~Rumors~ by nine o'clock, a local honky tonk, and join the party crowd.

I reached to the touch lamp and dimmed the lights..as I placed the magazine on the end table.

As I closed my eyes a song by Jimmy Wayne came on the stereo. There was a time I would turn the song off...tonight...I sang the words to myself...

I found peace of mind, I'm feeling good again.
I'm on the other side, back among the living.
Ain't a cloud in the sky, all my tears have been cried.
And I know everything's gonna be ok...
if you just stay gone.

Stay baby stay, stay right where you are.
I like it that way, it's good for my heart.
I hadn't felt like this, in God knows how long.
I know everything's gonna be ok...
if you just stay gone.

I still love you, and I will forever.
We can't hide the truth, we know each other better.
When we try to make it work, we both just end up hurt.
And it ain't supposed to be that way.
Stay baby stay..............

I fell asleep... I was not sure how long I had been asleep when I was startled and opened my eyes.

There he was.

Standing beside the sofa looking at me. He touched my cheek as I asked with a shaky voice... "Rick..what are you doing here?"

When he replied, " I came to see you Shay", I realized I was not dreaming.

Immediately my defense mechanism kicked in.

I told him as I pulled away from his touch, " you need to leave. Now!"

His smile grew. The smile that once melted my heart. The same heart I was trying to help heal and make stronger.

I repeated for him to leave and he took a strand of my hair and begin to play with it.

I didn't like the look I was seeing on his face. His eyes fell to my breast and then looked at me. Then the words that came from his mouth sent a mad fire through me.

" I need some ass Shay. Remember how I explained to you the difference in 'sex' and 'making love'? You know, 'sex ' is for the rush, the sensation, the nasty. The 'love making is an intimate thing shared between two people. I still love you but I can't deal with that. So. I want the sex." He smirked as he said it.

That's all it took. My rowdy, sassy TEXAS spunk hit him on the left side of his face. I drew back and I slapped him with all I had. When I did, words begin to spill out of my mouth faster than I could understand them.

" You sorry Bastard! You do have balls...get out of here and never make this mistake again!." As I started to get off the sofa he straddled me, sitting lightly across my tummy and pinning my arms back. I could see my hand print on his face. My hand was stinging. I was pissed.

It had not crossed my mind how he had told me my sassiness and talk thrilled him.

He began to laugh and assured me that he was getting what he came for and I began to fight. I was no match for him. But I did get a few good hits in as he blocked most of them.

I asked him, all out of breath from my struggling to please not make this ugly. Just leave. Just leave me alone.

"Uh Uh.." He grunted.

A panic ran through me. He was going to tease me and make me change my mind. Make me willfully have sex with him.

Then I took another look. That was not it at all. He was going to take it.

He leaned forward and took the tie at the top of my gown between his teeth and untied it.

I begin to plead with him not to do this. This was not the way it should be done.

He took my hands and placed them together over my head and held them with one of his hands. He then spread my gown open with the other hand. Running his finger between my breast. Moaning as he done it. He moved to the right and took my nipple between his teeth through my gown and bit it. The pain went all through me. Then he raised up enough to watch the nipple bud into hardness.

"I am telling you NO Rick," and I raised my hips up with all I had. He had to steady himself, I almost got him off balance.

His free hand went to my hair and he laced his fingers through it. Pulled it lightly and said, " Don't fuck with me Shay. I am about to raise up and pull my track pants. DON"T FUCKIN TRY IT!"

Quickly he had his track pants down.

My mind was racing.

He pulled my gown up over my hips. I could feel the heat from his swollen cock as he pushed it on my tummy.

I was not excited at all. I knew it was going to hurt. I was small there. Even after teasing and getting wet, it was tight and like the first time always.

As he took his engorged cock in his hand he aimed it at my opening and told me, " I am about to fuck you like the slut you are."

All I could do was shake my head no. He was in his own little world. There was no stopping him.

He didn't even try getting me ready, he just pushed it in. We both moaned. His from pleasure, mine from discomfort. I could not believe he was doing this.

He began to move in and out of me. I know I had to have been like fucking a log. This was purely for his pleasure. And one sided.

I so not wanted to show any signs of getting aroused but I knew my body well. So did he. If he continued this, my pussy would open freely and hold him tight.

As he began to open me more, I still could not focus on pleasure. I laid there as he plunged in and out of me. Causing my head to bump the arm of the sofa. His thrust was getting hard. All of a sudden he lowered his upper body to mine. I could feel his breath on me. I could smell his sweat. The same man I had been so in love with was doing this to me.

As he continuously pumped into me I decided to let him know my thoughts on this act,

I turned my head and I bit his left shoulder. Hard.

It got his attention. He pulled away shouting," God Damn Shay!"

He flipped me over so quick I was not aware of it at first. He placed his hands on the back of my knees and pushed them forward causing me to be on my knees and my ass to be in the air. He then took my hands and held them by my wrist as he brought them between my legs.

"Damn!', spilled from his mouth in an angry way as he took his cock and guided it to my opening from behind. He plunged as deep as it would go. And then he continued his hard fucking .

I could feel his balls slapping my ass and his sweat dripping on my back.

A big push and he moaned so loud it startled me.

I felt his cum being unloaded. Pulse after pulse inside of me.

He remained in me and caught his breath.

He was so relaxed that one push of my ass against him after he released my hands, he was out of me and sitting on the sofa, with his track pants around his knees and his cock going soft.

I moved off the sofa and looked at him as my gown fell in place. He knew that look he was getting, He could see the pain and sadness.

As I started to leave the den he said, "Shay...I."

I cut him off real quick. " Fuck you! " and I went to my bedroom.

He let himself in, he can let his ass out, I told myself.

Removing my soiled gown, I went to the shower.

I had the one shower head going in the double shower. Standing under the water with my eyes closed tight, letting it wash away what just happened. On the outside anyway.

He could smell my Jasmine before he even made it to the bathroom.

I heard the door to the glass shower UN latch.

I knew it was him. He turned on the other shower head and stepped under the water.

We were back to back, no words being spoken, and then he turned. Watching the water run down my tanned, soft skin. He could still see red marks on my hips and ass where he held me as he took me.

He knew. He knew he could not fool me or himself. He was tired of fighting it. He loved me. The sex he just had, he knew I would have approved of it. Anyway he wanted it. WE were each others, totally and completely. Still.

He stepped to me. Taking my wet hair that was to the middle of my back and gently lifted it up. He then kissed my neck so soft. Over and over.

I looked down at the drain and seeing the water going down ... it was like all my strength I had drawn on in the past few weeks was washing away too. All it took was his soft touch. I was melting.

He slowly turned my wet naked body to him. His cock was semi hard now and lightly brushed my tummy. I could feel myself getting excited.

My hair was laying over my left breast. Completely concealing it, he pushed my hair over my shoulder and looked at my breast. My nipples seem to know he was there. The water was trailing over them and dripping off in a steady stream.

He lowered his head, and looking up at me, caught the water in his mouth. Never taking his eyes off of mine...he squirted the water from his mouth on my belly bo causing my 'S' charm to wiggle. He held me in place with his hands on my hips as he licked from my belly bo to my breast. He begin to take me by my shoulders and gradually turned me so that I was in front of the porcelain shower bench. My heart skipped a beat as he pushed his wet hard body into me. I felt his left hand take my right calf, raising my leg and resting it on the bench. Opening me up for my own pleasure.

I knew I needed to get some support. I reached for the porcelain holder to sturdy myself. I closed my eyes letting the water run down my body as he lowered himself in front of me. He was slowly teasing me with his tongue. Licking my wet skin and swirling his tongue on me. As I leaned against the back wall of the shower in this position, he reached for the hand held shower massager and turned the head to 'steady pulse.' Just as his mouth reached my trimmed mound I opened my eyes and looked down at him. Water was running down his lean body and he was intent on his work at hand.

He, while looking up at me, opened his mouth again and took water in it as it sprayed from shower head. He then closed his mouth, looked between my opened legs. He placed his index finger and middle finger on my pussy and gently opened me up revealing my clit. He then moved close and he squirted a steady stream of water on his target from his mouth. The sound of my moan filled the shower stall. He didn't stop there. He had just started...

As I felt the water streaming into my exposed crevice, a new sensation came. One he knew so well that I loved. He had switched on the water massager and was holding it so that my aroused clit was being pelted with water. This was causing my excitement to rise quickly, I knew it would not take long.

I began to gyrate my hips causing the water pressure to hit at different angles. He knew me well. As I would jerk my hips to the left, he would move the jolts of water to the right. In no time he had my body humping the air trying to make a connection with the pulsating water. He watched as he worked my tanned body like an instrument. An instrument he had mastered.

He held the water massager at an angle now so that he could take his place there on the target as well.

I felt his tongue on me. Doing a dance there where he was so focused on.

He could feel his cock swaying with the excitement of watching me in total bliss. He begin to suck my clit lightly and then he knew I was there.

He released the body massager quickly to take me by my waist, I was sliding down the shower wall in such sweet pleasure. He knew I having my own quiet orgasm. He loved watching my sheer pleasure escape me. Like no one was around.

He held me as he turned and sat down on the shower bench and adjusting my legs to straddle him. He placed me in his lap and begin kissing me all over my neck and breast.

I was still having some little orgasms. He knew that. He could hear my sounds and see the rush going through me. He had seen this many times before.

As he cupped my ass and lifted me a little, I knew he had left me sore inside from his rough pounding earlier. I didn't care. It would be a good feeling knowing he was back inside me and touching those places he had awakened.

Rick must have been tapped in with my thinking again because he softly whispered while kissing below my ear, " I will be easy Baby."

I arched my back and curled my fingers around his shaft. I took him to my opening. He gently pressed into me causing the head to open me up. The soreness was there but I wanted to feel it.

As he tried to slowly enter me, I clenched my eyes and slammed down on him. Taking him as much as I could hold inside. His sounds were not able to be understood.

I smiled to myself. I had not lost my touch to mess him up.

He was so taken off guard by this, he felt the cum boiling in his balls and traveling fast through his cock and begin shooting over and over into me.

I felt every blast. And I started riding him slowly.

I pulled away as I rode him and watched the pleasure on his sweet face through the water streaming down our faces.

He knew some was tears on mine. The happy tears.

We stayed in the shower until we noticed the water had gone from a nice warm to a cold.

We then went to the bed and held each other ....

I layed wrapped in his arms, feeling his skin next to mine. I gently stroked his strong arm with my nails. My mind sorting through the past few hours.

I asked him what word came to mind when he thought of us.

Without hesitation he replied, " addiction."

I heard his breathing change as he fell asleep holding me, I was content. I knew he was right. We were each other's addiction.