Affairs of the Heart Ch. 02

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"You do want this don't you?" He continued, his eyes flashing to the road and then back to her, a sudden fear spreading through him. He needn't have worried her piercing blue eyes that gazed back at him already told the answer before her lips moved.

"More than anything." She whispered as she kissed his fingers, her tender lips against his nails.

Jake smiled sensing the cabin turning ahead, half wishing they could drive on by never to return, yet knowing that he needed to face his demons. Slowly withdrawing his hand, he shifted down a gear and pulled into the driveway, the stone gravel grinding against the tires.

"Jake where have you been?" Cried Maria running into the kitchen, barely the moment Jake stepped into the cabin.

Immediately he could sense her unease, dressed in tracksuit pants and one of his woolen tops that due to her petite frame hung loosely off her. Her hair was messily tied up and it was evident she had been crying, her eyes red and swollen.

"Why didn't you come back?" She questioned as she stood beside the kitchen table, not allowing herself to get too close to him.

"It wasn't that easy." He answered but before he could continue she dived in again.

"But why didn't you return my damn calls?" She probed, an anger building in her voice. "I called you all night and nothing." She continued, as she watched him, her eyes flicking over him.

"Look she was upset. We talked and before I knew it was the middle of the night." He responded sensing her unease.

He could see the upset in her, trying to fight back the tears.

"I was an idiot and left my cell in the car." He continued.

"Is she ok then?" Maria responded, crossing her arms in front of him.

"I'm fine." Came a voice from behind Jake, as Lynn stepped into the kitchen, her arrival going unnoticed up until now.

Maria looked Lynn over as she entered the kitchen, an obvious tension within the room. Sensing the need to take charge Jake dived in.

"Maria, we need to talk alone." He continued motioning into the lounge his eyes locked on Lynn as they slowly disappeared from sight.

******

Lynn watched them leave with her stomach rolling, nerves making it hard to think straight. She half expected Maria to start screaming and come rushing back out to flatten her to the ground and let her have it. Lynn paced the kitchen floor, wondering where Eric was. She needed to talk to him, look him in the eyes and tell him herself, not let Jake do the dirty deed. Shrugging off her jacket, she made her way to their room, taking in a deep breath and holding it. She could hear Jake's smooth deep voice in the other room and tried not listen in. With her hand firmly on the doorknob of their room, she went to turn it, dread crawling up her throat when the door jerked away from her hand and she let out a surprised squeal.

Eric looked just as surprised, his eyes looking blood shot and tired and an evenings worth of stubble darkened his face. She clutched at her chest and shuddered,

"Jesus, you scared me." She breathed.

"Lynn, God." He began and suddenly made a grab for her.

She gasped and stiffened as he dragged her close and hugged her hard. She was so shocked at his sudden move that her hands were caught between them and all she could do was let him hold her.

"I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry." He said gruffly and then to his surprise, his voice broke.

"Eric?" She tried to pull away and look at him, but he kept her squeezed tight.

*****

Locked away in the neighboring bedroom Maria sat on the edge of the unkempt bed as Jake stood nervously before her. A wave of guilt ran over him as he looked down at her, her youthful face staring back at him. He could feel his skin crawl as though his senses were heightened, feeling each heart beat against his chest and each breath from his lips.

"Shitty day?" He stumbled, not quite certain of the right words, conscious that he needed to break the silence that filled the cold bedroom.

"Something like that." Maria responded, taking a strand of her brunette hair draped across her shoulder and twiddling it with her fingers.

Jake shifted his feet awkwardly. He knew what he had to do, God he had been going over and over it in his mind the whole of the morning yet stood here now struggling to string a sentence together, jumbled words spinning in his head. She seemed so cute before him sat in her loose fitting woolen jumper and baggy sports pants, and in any other circumstance he would have wished to be with her, if only things had worked out some different way. Jake smiled before taking a deep breath and opening his mouth but before he could say anything she jumped it.

"How long?" She said, breaking eye contact from him as the words left her lips.

"What?" He answered, a raised brow showing his shock at her unexpected answer.

For a second it felt as though all the air was sucked out of him, her words coming so out of the blue and knocking him for six.

"How long have you been with her?" She continued, her head remaining down, her fingers twisting her hair.

"Who?" Jake responded, feeling his cheeks flush with nerves, her sudden outburst taking him by surprise.

"For fucks sake Jake, Lynn, who else." She snapped, raising her head and looking him straight in the eye.

Jake gulped feeling the intensity in the look, her eyes visibly welling up.

"How did?" He questioned, the words stumbling out of his mouth, his mind continually racing. Maria raised the cuff of her jumper to her eye and sniffled.

"How did I know? Sometimes your such an idiot. I have seen you this weekend, watching her every move. At first I thought you were just checking her out but I have seen how she looks back at you." She answered.

"I know because I could see myself in her only a few months ago, those looks that used to be between you and me that were ours." She continued, her bottom lip quivering, as she struggled to remain composed.

A wave of emotions flooded over Jake, his initial nerves, being replaced by a feeling of shock that had now transformed into a hammer blow of guilt that hit him full on. Unable to hold back, a tear parted from her eye and trickled down her cheek, another sniffle and then a gentle sob.

Unable to just stand back Jake stepped forward, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed beside her and slipping his arm around her, her head falling into his chest, deep sobs filling the room as he stroked her brunette hair.

"I'm sorry, really sorry." He whispered.

For several moments he held her, comforting her, unable to rationalize how she had known, indeed why she was not angry at him. He had expected a rage, for her to be aggressive and insulting, yet she was not. Slowly she raised her head, her eyes now red with tears as she looked at him.

"Last night was the last straw, any doubts were answered then." She whispered, before clearing her throat.

Jake wanted to tell her she was wrong, he had genuinely left his cell in the car, but he knew only too well that he had barely thought of her that night, the object of his hearts desire had been Lynn and would be forever more.

"Let me explain." He pleaded, a longing need to try and justify himself, pushing him forward.

"Not now Jake. Later yes, but I just want to go home." She answered.

Jake could only nod, knowing the pain he had caused her. As he imagined her crying herself to sleep last night he felt so awful, yet he knew it had to be done.

"Eric?" He continued, his mind jumping all over the place.

"What?"

"Would Eric of noticed?" Jake continued probing.

A sudden crash from the neighboring room bought the conversation to a halt, as both of them looked at one another. Despite the upset and hurt, it was though a single thought flashed through their minds, the two of them jumping to their feet, darting out the room.

*****

Behind her, Lynn heard Jake and Maria come rushing in. She heard Maria protest when Jake made a grab for her.

"Stop it! Can't you see he's upset?"

Lynn stood stock still until his arms finally loosened. She took a step back and looked up at her husband's face.

"What's going on?" She asked him softly, her big eyes searching his, the look of pure sorrow and confusion making them dark and tearful.

"Eric, talk to me."

She was surprised when Maria came around and took Eric's arm and gently tugged him away.

"Come on, I think we have a lot of talking to do, all of us do, isn't that right?" She said, her eyes boring into Lynn's, making her flush self consciously.

Jake took her hand and gently pulled her with him, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head as they all got settled.

*****

Lynn could hardly believe the words that came from her husband's mouth. The three shocked words sort of fell out as she gasped and her mind went suddenly blank and then just as quickly began to race. Tears welled up in her eyes and she swallowed hard, trying to regain her balance.

"Oh Eric!" She pressed herself against his side and wrapped her arms around him.

For a moment he stiffened and pushed against her, but then gave in and pulled her close, crushing her as he sobbed into her shoulder.

"God I'm so sorry!" He sobbed, "I'm so sorry."

She let out a wet laugh and stroked his hair,

"I would have never have guessed it. You have no idea what a relief this is!"

Eric looked a little stunned as he pulled away a little and saw her smiling, despite the tears and sniffles.

"I thought you'd hate me." His eyes moved to Jake who was silent and still, watching everything unfold.

"I can't hate you, now I know it wasn't all me and it makes sense." She told him.

"But why? Why would you marry Lynn if you knew!?" Jake interjected, unsure of what he should be feeling.

Eric took a deep shuddering breath and wiped at his face, sagging back into the couch and regarded them both. Lynn still had one of his hands clasped tightly.

"I was afraid of what the family would think and my work. Lynn and I started off as friends as women go, she was, she is." He corrected himself, giving her a small smile, "a beautiful woman. I thought I could just forget about that part of me, just hide it in a closet and go on with leading a 'normal' life, what I hadn't banked on was meeting someone."

Jake leaned forward and scrubbed his face with his hands, letting out a deep sigh. "Well fuck, talk about complicated."

Lynn nodded and felt her stomach dip with nerves. She avoided Maria's gaze as she tried to figure out a way to tell Eric her own news.

"Are you two, together?" She asked him, finally.

Eric shook his head.

"No, we haven't really talked about, things."

"Ah." She said softly and finally took a deep breath, turning slightly to get a better look at Jake who seemed at a loss.

But his eyes met hers and she knew without a doubt that things between them couldn't change. She needed to tell Eric. She smiled lovingly Jake and gave him a slight nod, holding out her free hand. For a moment all he could do was stare at it, but finally his warm fingers took hers and moved closer.

"You were so worried about hurting me, us, well, I have something to tell you also." Lynn began, "I thought this trip would be about us in the beginning, a way for us to reconnect and honestly, I was furious when you invited Jake and Maria to come along. Now I understand more of what was going on in your mind, but at that point, I hated that you didn't want to be alone with me. I was trying everything I could think of to make you notice me and you didn't." She paused and took a deep breath.

"What I'm trying to say is, I've found someone too. Completely unexpected, but I'm in love with Jake."

She saw Maria's head bowed down, knowing full well that Jake had already spoken to her about this.

"I know, it's wrong on so many levels, we didn't plan any of it, it just happened."

They watched as Eric seemed to soak this bit of news in and shook his head slowly.

"I'll be damned, talk about a cluster fuck we have going on."

Jake rubbed the back of his neck and squeezed Lynn's hand.

"Tell me about it. I had no idea, not one clue man and then Lynn, I think I need a drink."

All three were stunned with they heard Maria actually laugh.

"YOU need a drink? I'm the one getting totally left out in the cold here. Eric gets love and understanding, you two get each other and what do I get?" She said, her voice teasing although her eyes looked a little pained.

"A gay buddy?" Eric suggested, making her giggle and drop her head against his shoulder.

"Guess it's better than nothing!"

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