tagHumor & SatireAfter The 2013 Presidential Election

After The 2013 Presidential Election


One week after the 2013 presidential inauguration

The committee to elect the next president is forming just outside of Washington DC.
They are all meeting in a oval conference room sitting at an oval table.
Attending the meeting is, With very heavy ethic accents;

A Chinese American woman,
A Irish American,
A Hispanic American,
A Arab American,
A Jewish American,
A African American,
A Japanese American,
An American Indian woman,
A Russian American woman,

An African American, is chairing the meeting;

African American,
The meeting is now in order,
Well, whom shall we elect to the next presidential post?

Hispanic American,
I think this country should elect a Hispanic president!
we should open the border to Mexico & allow everyone in this country.
Most of this country did belong to Mexico before Europeans arrived, do you guys know that?

American Indian woman,
Why, You’re not so special,
Indians have suffered for two hundred years, in our own country,
If any body deserves to be the president, it’s the American Indians, right!

Jewish American,
What suffrage, what do you people know about suffrage, the Jews have suffered for thousands of years, If any one deserves to be president, it’s the Jews,
We have the right!

Japanese American,
Japanese people were slaves too you know, we want to be the president,
We have the same rights as everybody else.

Chinese American woman,
The Japanese were never slaves, they were placed in US interim camps at the Second World War for safety reasons after attacking this country.
You people have nothing coming!

Arab American,
America has bombed half of the Middle East,
Murdered our best terrorist leaders,
If any body is going to be the president, it’s going to be Arabs!

Jewish American,
You talk as crazy as you look!
This country will never ever elect an Arab,
You are in the wrong century friend.

Russian American woman,
Maybe its time for a Russian US president?
Who could do better to lead the United States?
We Russians know how to get things done right!
I say elect a Russian American woman.

An Irish American,
Remember it was the Irish that ran this country, remember Ronald Ragan, look how great he was.
The Irish has suffer as well, remember the potato famine.

African American,
The potato famine!
You people are really dense!
What makes you people think that the American people will vote for whom they regard as crooks, & thieves, Liars, money grubbers, murderous fanatics & bitter resentments of the past.
We are here to get some semblance of consensus whom to nominate for the next president, right!
So speak up or don’t speak at all, please.

A GREEK American and Brazilian American enters the room.

Greek American,
What are you bastagges talking about?

Hispanic American,
We are not talking about you, so shut your mouth.

Brazilian American,
Ok, we are all here to find a new candidate for the next US president,
So what have you came up with & don’t try any fargin tricks you soma-booches.

African American,
No need to be rude, shall we continue the meeting;
Before you two arrived, we were attempting to get a majority consensus for a good candidate,
Now who’s next?

Irish American,
I think you all should consider to re-electing an Irish American to be president,
I think the historical references are profound & warranted to elect the next US president.

Jewish American,
Please, you guys, spare me the theatrics,
We are tired of alcoholics & leprechauns running this country,
Were not going to have a Greek who can’t even run their own country running this country,
Were not going to have the Russian Mob running this country,
Were not going to have the Bol-ito in America,
Were not going to have Japanese egg rolls or Chinese egg fu young in the White House.
No kabobs or buffalo soldiers or wigwams in the oval office, this time!
We need a Jewish president.

African American,
That’s all well & good, but whom will we trust to take care of all the money?
Certainly not the Jews.

They all start laughing very loud & resume the meeting

Making a late entrance,
A Gypsy American, enters the room,

Gypsy American,
Sorry IM late for the meeting, but I just finished shopping at the mall,

Japanese American,
You mean lifting, at the mall

African American,
Well, that’s it,
Why don’t we elect the Gypsy American as the next president of the United States,
It’s perfect,
They have no real country of origin,
They are totally untrustworthy,
They are the biggest crooks & thieves,.
They never ever wash & practice incest, inbreeding constantly,
And every word coming from their mouths is always a lie.

With a big smile/smirk on his face,
I think the meeting is now adjourned and we have picked our new next US president, we will continues to have this meeting in the next four years, we thank you all for attending the meeting and have a great day everyone, ok.
The African American, rises to his feet, closes his briefcase & leaves the room.

They all sit stunned & looking dumbfounded.

An American Indian woman,
What just happened?

Chinese American woman,
The same thing, when you people let Europeans in this country, skewered.

Greek American,
Bastagges, Your all Bastagges, you should be puun-nished !!

Written by
Everett C Borders Jr. Ph.D.

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