After the Win Pt. 03

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WF06
WF06
194 Followers

"The carving on this project is so intricate that it was at first thought to be counterfeit as no one they knew of had the sort of skill and the tools it took to product that quality of work back then. They were proven wrong. Very, very wrong. And the cameo broach is beyond belief. The cuttings into the fine wire are so small and so fine that you need at least a 10-power jeweler's loupe to see them well. The cameo is not the finest quality but close and is still quite nice to look at. And when you know the whole story it really becomes a thing of beauty and fantastic to explain.

"About 8 years ago, there was to be a major display of antique shortwave radio equipment and some of the things traded or sold during that era as a result of the improved communications technology. Part of that display was a grouping of original rings and other fabulous and unique pieces of jewelry from one vendor of that era, and it was the hit of the show. The broach and ring set had been loaned to the affair by its current owner and was displayed with a notation that the set was available for purchase for a given amount. The set did sell and quickly I might add. It remained on display throughout the show and was then boxed up for transfer to the new owners, whoever they were. There was a fire that seemed to be a diversion. The articles were once more lost and gone from the public eye. A year or two later, a ransom letter was received by the new owners and they gladly paid the ransom to get their rings and broach back. It seems that somewhere in the dealings with the thieves, it was mentioned that the other items might still be available for redemption for the right price. Seems the new owners of those pieces had not purchased insurance for the items and now it is going to be up to the courts to decide what to do with the items when and if they are found, I have it on good authority that if someone could find them they would get control as there is no insurance on them and no payments have been made so it would be sort of a mad scramble. However, if someone was acting on behalf of the listed owner, then that changes everything, back in favor of the finder of the items.

Of course, a person or group of persons might receive a reward anywhere from $300,000 up to maybe $700,000 or more. Not too bad I don't think." Steve said at last:

"Or he could just turn the information over to Interpol and forgetting it all is also a viable solution. So, what do you think, folks?" Stephen asked

Christie said rather quickly "I think we take plenty of quality photographs and then copy down all the information we can get and turn it all to the authorities as we have our own mess to resolve just as soon as Anne and I, especially I, apologize to Steve for the things we said and thought, and if he will still have me, there is a wedding we need to be getting to right about now.

Turning to Stephen, Christine took his hands and looked into his eyes and said very sorrowfully, "Steve, Honey. I love you more than life itself. So much so that the disappointment in what I saw and thought liked to have ruined our marriage before we had one. Honey, I am so sorry. Please forgive me for this transgression I know there will be others, but not as clear or loud again. Stephen James Carpenter, will you marry me. Right now, right here. AND Right forever?"

"Humm... Did you say something, Honey? I'm sorry, but my mind was distracted by thinking we should be getting to down to the meeting room to see if the judge is there and ready yet so we can get this marriage started and then go see some ugly people and see if we can start working on some forever. You ready, Sweets?"

"Oh, you precious, precious man. I am more than ready for this. All of this. Let's do it. Quickly." She replied and taking Stephens hand in hers led him out the door and to the elevator down the hall, looking over her shoulder to make sure Anne and Mike were following.

Once in the lobby, they were surprised to see so many people standing around between the dining area and the meeting rooms the hotel rented out. Mike said that they were to have the use of room 4 for their wedding and headed off that way to see if the judge and everything else was ready.

When Mike looked into room 4, he was surprised at the number of people he found there. He guessed that most were relatives and friends of Mike and Anne here from near and far, probably in town for the stockholders meeting or maybe board meetings and some that Mike thought must either be curious passer byes or else media personnel curious at the sudden activity or a slipped note alerting them of some upcoming occurrences. Didn't matter now, as it was all cast in stone and whatever was going to happen would happen sure as "God made little green apples" as the saying goes.

WF06
WF06
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  • COMMENTS
9 Comments
AnotherChapterAnotherChapterabout 2 years ago

This is one mixed up and out of control story! Get your act together, proof read, check continuity of your characters, give yourself a believable time line, and start over. this is just a mess! Chapter one was ok and had some promise but it has gone so far down hill from there that you are in a deep pit by now. Everything is looking incredibly rushed and the whole added detour about the rings was one side line too many. This guy starts out as a grandfather without much gong on and now you’ve tried to turn him into what exactly? Got a feeling he wouldn’t know a jeweller’s loup from a lariat! You shit the bed here!

pure12pure12over 3 years ago
Lost me too

Too much shifting around for me, sorry I'm outa here.

Chief3BlanketChief3Blanketabout 7 years ago
I stopped reading

This story just became too convoluted and down right confusing. The story ceased to be enjoyable and entertaining to read. If I had of started reading this story first I would have given up on this author and would not have read the rest of his yarns.

HansTrimbleHansTrimbleabout 7 years ago
I should have quit reading after Part 2

Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew. Every good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end; this one, unfortunately, got the middle and the end compressed together, as if you were in a hurry to dash off to the bathroom. If you had strung this out to about five parts you could have had a winner here.

A few problems: First, you had created a bunch of loose ends, and you tried to tie them all up at once. Second, you lost track of the main character's personality -- he was supposed to be a macho construction worker, a good guy who sticks to his principles, but a little bewildered by the worlds of law, industry, and high finance. You invented Mike to handle those details; a very wise decision, but you lost the thread in the last part. Third, you let Steve go back on important decisions he'd made without adequate motivation or explanation, such as not rushing to the altar until he's sure he and the babe are compatible. Fourth, you invented an unnecessary complication with the antique rings, then made him step out of character to explain, in a rush, about their legendary background that he should have known nothing about. Your haste to end the story was demonstrated by the strung out sentences he used in dealing with the ring issue. To stay in character he shouldn't have uttered a sentence over a dozen words.

A lightning swift end of a story is something that a lot of authors stumble over. David Baldacci, for example, spins a good yarn until he has written the number of words he's under contract for, and suddenly concludes in a blinding fury that leaves the reader confused and dissatisfied. Despite your modest claim, you're a pretty good author in addition to being a fair to middling story teller. A strong, forceful editor would help you to pull up your socks and carry the ball into the end zone, instead of tripping over your own feet at the ten yard line.

Hans

TheOldRomanticTheOldRomanticabout 7 years ago
I like this story, but ...

Yesterday I had to be a little clumsy, and I did not quite understand the part of the theft of the jewels. Perhaps I share the opinion of other readers about how Steve evolves in this story. Anyway, I still like it, it may be necessary to re-read more slowly.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

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