Aftermath

"Thank you for coming to tell me your news in person," she said softly. "It can't have been easy for you but I really appreciate it. Thank you for all your help and support."

"That's OK," he replied, "I'm just sorry it wasn't better news.

Impulsively Marlene placed her other arm around his neck and kissed him on the lips, a little less chastely than before. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her to him, feeling her warm body pressing against his as they extended their kiss. They unclasped their hands and wrapped them around each other, lost in the depths of their passion.

After several minutes they broke apart, separating slightly and gazing into each other's eyes.

"That wasn't supposed to happen", said Ted apologetically, "I'm sorry, Marlene." He struggled to pull away further.

"Ted, I'm not sorry. It's so long since I was held and kissed like that; I'd almost forgotten what it felt like. Please don't be sorry; it was wonderful and just what I needed now. Maybe we'll repeat it again sometime when we're both sober, just to see how it feels again." Marlene smiled at Ted, kissed the fingers of her right hand then placed them on Ted's lips. "Goodnight, sweetheart, and thank you again."

She pulled away and went to her bedroom, where she undressed, climbed into bed and within moments was in a deep, alcohol-induced sleep. Ted also used the bathroom, undressed in his bedroom and climbed into bed. He lay there thinking about Marlene, about whether or not he had taken advantage of her when she was in a vulnerable condition, and about possibilities for a future with her.

The following morning they both arose early and Marlene helped organize breakfast for them in the kitchen. Both were quiet after their brief embrace the previous night, wondering if it was best forgotten or best discussed. In the end they both started to talk at the same time.

"You go," said Ted, after they both stopped their initial comments.

"I'm sorry if I took you by surprise or offended you last night," she said quietly.

"No, you didn't and you've nothing to be sorry for," replied Ted, "In fact, I was going to apologize to you for taking advantage of you when you're in a fragile and vulnerable condition."

"No, don't apologize. I enjoyed your support and your embrace. It's so long since I've received the love I felt from you last night." She cast her eyes downward and continued in a very quiet voice. "In fact, I want more of it if you're willing please."

He thought over possible replies without speaking as they ate their granola and drank their coffee.

"Thank you for breakfast," said Ted, rising, "Now it's time I left to prepare for work."

Marlene rose and approached him. "Thank you for all you've done. Now, before you leave, another hug please?"

They smiled at each other and, with nothing further said; they embraced closely, each feeling the warmth of the other as their lips met and tongues entwined. They held this position for a long time, each feeling the love of the other and their love for the other. It was as though this match was made in heaven and creation was smiling upon them. Eventually they broke apart, their fingers trailing in each other's hands and Ted left through the front door. Marlene watched him depart and they waved to each other as he drove away.

Marlene tried to quickly fit the key in the door lock as she heard the phone ringing inside. Why is it always so much slower to do something when you're in a hurry, she wondered. She reached the phone and answered, recognizing Ted's voice on the other end. It was the first time they had talked since he left four days ago, and she was nervous at not having heard from him, wondering if she had offended him or overstepped some mark or something. Now all she felt was joy and relief as he greeted her.

"Hi, Ted," she replied, deciding that she knew him well enough now to be completely open with him, "Yes I'm as well as can be expected I guess. I still sob each night in bed, but that's probably expected when one loses their spouse, lover and best friend. How's things with you?"

"All's good with me," he replied. "Are you doing anything this Saturday night?"

"Not that I know of," she replied, "What did you have in mind?"

"I wondered if you'd like to come dancing with me. Last Saturday each month there's a dance at the Officer's Club and without a steady relationship at present, I have difficulty finding a partner. So I wondered if you'd like to fill that gap please."

"Jeff and I used to love dancing but I haven't danced for over two years. I'll probably have two left feet I'll be so rusty. However, if you wear steelcaps I probably won't damage your toes too much. Yes please, I'd love to be your dance partner."

Ted chuckled. "I'm sure you'll manage just fine. All the steps will come back once you start. Thank you, Marlene. I'll collect you about 7.30 on Saturday night. Oh, it's not formal or anything like that, just a pretty dress will be fine, no need for any formal dress, and flats will be far better than high heels."

"OK, thank you so much. It's the first time I'll have been out like this for ages. I'm really looking forward to it."

"Great; so am I. See you then."

"'Bye Ted, and thank you," she replied, reluctantly breaking the connection.

She stood by the phone and hugged herself. For the first time forever, it seemed, she had something to look forward to. A date! Could she call it a date? Probably, she told herself. What would Jeff think, she wondered, then she told herself again that Jeff was dead, it was time to move on. Tears came to her eyes and she wiped them away impatiently. Her life with Jeff was over; it was time to move on to the next phase. She walked into her bedroom to select a suitable dress for the dance, something that would allow her to move easily, something not too flirty, well, maybe a bit flirty. Just because she was a widow didn't mean she had to dress like a dowager. She chose what she thought was eminently suitable, black and red, full skirt, low cut top.

"Hello," said Jen as she answered the phone.

"Hi Jen," replied Marlene, "How's things with you?"

"Great thanks. How about you?"

"I don't know. I've got a problem. You're the only person I feel I can discuss it with. Can I come round to see you now, please?"

"Of course," replied Jen. "I don't know if I can help, but often just discussing something makes it seem less formidable. Come on round."

"Thanks, Jen. See you soon."

Marlene hung up the phone, locked the house and drove the short distance to Jen's place. Jen was waiting at the front door and greeted Marlene with a hug.

"Come on in. Like a coffee?"

"Oh yes please, replied Marlene, joining Jen in the kitchen as she prepared it.

"I had a call from Ted today," started Marlene. "He invited me to a dance on Saturday. I accepted."

"Good for you," replied Jen, giving her a big smile. "You've been a recluse for nearly two years; it's about time you got out and had a bit of fun or you'll be an old maid before you know it."

"Yes, I know, you've told me that lots of times. But I feel so bad about it, like I'm cheating on Jeff, although I know he's probably dead now. But I still feel married to him. Ted's tried to find out anything about him without any success and has made some inquiries about a memorial service. Maybe I'll feel better after that."

Jen looked at Marlene closely. "Is there something about your relationship with Ted that you need to tell me?" she asked.

Marlene blushed and looked at the floor. "We've kissed. And the other night he spent the night at home, but we didn't sleep together."

"Oh sweetie," replied Jen, approaching Marlene and hugging her. "Have you fallen for him?"

"I think so," replied Marlene in a small voice. "I don't want to but he's just so, . . . . um, . . . . gorgeous. In a lot of ways he's like Jeff; considerate, respectful and, I suspect, loving. But I feel it's too soon."

"So why did you let him stay at your house?"

"We'd both had quite a bit to drink. I didn't think it was safe for him to drive so he slept in the spare room."

"Oh. I guess that was sensible. So what's brought this on now?"

"Ted's invited me to a dance on Saturday night and I've accepted. I guess this could be classed as a date. It's the first time I've been on a real date since Jeff and I were courting. I'm really nervous, especially so as I'm still legally married. I really want to go and am looking forward to it; you know how much I love dancing. But I still have reservations. What if Jeff's still alive? What if he returns home on Monday? How can I live with the guilt that I gave up on him and went out with Ted?"

Jen took the cups of coffee into the lounge and they sat on the sofa.

"Now listen to me," she began when Marlene was settled. "You cannot live your life based on what ifs, you can only take into account what is. What is right now is that you're lonely, Jeff has been missing for nearly two years, you have a life to live, Ted seems like a great guy and also seems to be treading very lightly. Many guys would have been unhappy sleeping in a separate bedroom after kissing you. So if it was me, I'd go for it. You're only young once. Who knows, from some other plane Jeff might have actually sent Ted to you because he knows how desperately lonely you are."

Marlene sipped her coffee, thinking about Jen's words. They certainly had a ring of truth and common sense about them. But what if Jeff wasn't dead and he did return? Jen had said to deal with what is, not what if. 'I guess I'll just have to face that situation if and when it arises' she thought. Then she gulped.

"Um, thanks for that. It sounds like good common sense, which I don't have that much of at present. What if he wants to go further; to sleep with me?"

"Well, again, that's for you to decide if and when the situation arises. There are no right or wrong answers here. You just have to feel your way and trust your instincts."

They discussed the situation and possible ramifications for another half hour before Marlene was happy with accepting Ted's invitation and letting the evening take its course. She thanked Jen for listening and her good advice and returned home, leaving Jen to prepare dinner for her and Arnold.

Ted arrived at 7.25 on Saturday night and stood back to admire his dance partner.

"Wow, look at you!" he exclaimed as he took in Marlene's beautiful dress, slim legs beneath and coiffured hair, which she had done especially for the occasion.

Marlene looked at him in his casual trousers, cut slim as the latest fashion dictated, a casual shirt with tie and highly polished shoes.

"You look pretty fantastic yourself," she said.

They embraced, a little shyly at first, then he kissed her chastely on the lips. 'Oh', she thought,' I want more of this, much more.'

The dance was everything she could have hoped for. Ted turned out to be an expert dancer and, as expert dancers do, he made her look wonderful on the floor even though she stumbled a few times when she forgot some intricate move. The dances included old time traditional waltzes and foxtrots, and country dancing, along with some more modern jive dancing, which was very energetic. Marlene was surprised how unfit she was, often panting after a particularly energetic session. She made a mental note to take up running again, something she had dropped during the upset of Jeff's disappearance.

After supper and a few more dances it was time for the last waltz. Although she had danced a few dances with other officers to whom Ted had introduced her, she was determined to have the last waltz with Ted, as he was with her. They moved gracefully around the floor, clinging to each other tightly. Marlene enjoyed feeling his muscular body against her own and her thoughts ran wild as she imagined what could occur later once he took her home, if they were both willing. She felt so sexy; more than she had since she had last been with Jeff. She hoped she would be able to slake those feelings later this evening.

After the last waltz, she and Ted bade other officers and their partners good night then Ted drove her home to her place.

"Will you come inside for a nightcap?" asked Marlene.

"Yes, thank you," replied Ted, and they walked up to the front door with arms around each other.

Once they were inside Marlene wasted no time at all in embracing Ted and pulling his head down to give him a very intimate and loving kiss. They tongue wrestled for a few moments before Marlene broke away.

"What would you like to drink?" she asked.

"A bourbon if you have it please."

Marlene poured a bourbon for Ted and a cream sherry for herself, then they sat close together on the sofa. They cuddled, sipping their drinks and enjoyed the togetherness without talking for a short time. Marlene realized that she really needed Ted in her bed. He was too much of a gentleman to push the issue, so she decided that she needed to broach the subject.

"Do you need to go home tonight or can you stay over like last Saturday?"

Ted looked at her for a few seconds. "What are you really asking?" he asked softly.

Marlene blushed scarlet, averting her eyes. Quietly she replied "I would really like you to stay if you can please, in my bed."

Ted smiled, pulling her closer to himself. "Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked.

Marlene felt her stomach turn over at the thought that she would be alone again tonight if he left. She knew she didn't want that. She really didn't know how far she wanted to go though. It was so long since she'd slept with a man, she really wanted to, but there was a part of her that still hoped beyond hope that Jeff was alive and would return, which meant she had to be faithful to him.

"No," Marlene replied, with tears in her eyes, "I don't know what I really want."

Ted kissed the tears away. "I'm very willing to be led by you. Just let me know how far you're prepared to go and whatever happens is fine with me. I certainly don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for or can't handle."

Marlene hugged him and gave him a passionate kiss. "Thank you, darling. What a wonderful man you are."

They talked a little about a variety of things while they finished their drinks, then Marlene stood and led Ted into her bedroom. She stood on tip toes as she reached up to kiss him.

"I want you to sleep in my bed with me tonight, darling. I don't know what else will happen, but I want you there with me, please."

He kissed her sexily, and, reaching behind her, began undoing the buttons down the back of her dress. She kept kissing him, untucking his shirt and running her hands over his back. Once her dress was undone she shrugged it off her shoulders letting it pool around her feet. Ted caressed the skin on her back and sides while she undid his shirt buttons, their lips still locked in a sensuous kiss.

She pulled his shirt off, then started undoing his belt and trousers, which fell down once the belt and buttons were undone. Meanwhile he had undone her bra, the cups still being held in place by her breasts being pressed against his chest. Once his trousers were around his feet, she felt his erection in his shorts and leaned back to look, causing her bra to fall to the floor.

"Wow, that's a whopper," she said in awe.

"It's all yours tonight if you want it, darling, but if not, he'll be ready if and when you do."

They both stepped out of their outer clothing around their feet, removed their shoes, stockings and socks, he removed her garter belt then they climbed into bed. They cuddled, their bodies in close contact, lips locked in a long erotic kiss. Hesitantly Marlene ran her fingers under the elastic of his shorts, then slowly eased them down over his erection. While she was doing this she felt his hand also easing her panties down. A lump formed in her throat. Part of her was screaming out 'Stop' while another part was ecstatic that after all this time something sexual was happening. Which part to believe? She chose to ignore the objecting part, feeling the delicious feelings as Ted continued to strip her naked as she lay alongside him in her bed.

Ted and Marlene both pushed the other's underclothes as far down their legs as they could reach then kicked them off. They cuddled, kissed and caressed naked, skin on skin. Marlene felt his huge cock against her belly and knew that her pussy was wet and ready for it.

Ted gently rolled Marlene onto her back and spread her legs with his knees. She felt open and exposed to his cock as he positioned himself. 'NOOOO!!' a part of her yelled inside. She closed her legs, curled up tightly and sobbed.

"I'm sorry darling, I'm just not ready for this yet. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Ted immediately lay back down beside her and held her gently, allowing her to sob against his chest.

"That's OK," he crooned, over and over to her.

Slowly Marlene stopped sobbing and finally she just lay still in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," she whispered. "I guess I just need more time. Will you be OK?"

"Yes, darling, I'll be fine and I'll be here when you're ready. That may be later tonight or in a year's time, I'll be here. I love you, sweetheart, and would never do anything to hurt you or hurt your sensibilities."

"Thank you, sweetheart. You're so understanding."

They spooned together and both soon slept peacefully.

At breakfast the next morning, after cuddling each other all night, they discussed the situation.

"You know, my mates at the base won't believe me if I tell them I slept with a naked woman all night and there was no sex," commented Ted.

"I'm so sorry, darling," apologized Marlene again, blushing, "Somehow it just didn't seem right. You mentioned about a memorial service. Maybe that would bring the closure I need so we really can become lovers."

"I'll make inquiries today. We should be able to sort something out real quick; after all it's two years next week, isn't it?"

Marlene looked down, angrily wiping away the tears that came to her eyes. "Yes, on Wednesday."

"Right, I'll see what I can organize. I really need to head home for a quick change of clothes. If we're going to do this often maybe I should bring some clothes here," he grinned as he made the suggestion. "Anything you'd like to do today?"

"I really don't know. I seem to spend most of my time just moping about without any real interests anymore. Do you have any suggestions?"

"Well, do you like sailing?"

"I've been out a couple of times but not recently. I certainly enjoyed it when I went out, but maybe that was because Jeff was there. I don't know."

"I have a 30 foot yacht moored at Defiance marina, just by the Tacoma Yacht Club. Like to go sailing today?"

Marlene brightened immediately. Anything to get out of the house and away from all the memories. It would really do her good to be out in the fresh air, she thought.

"Yes, that would be wonderful, thanks. I'll organize some food while you get changed at home, then if you collect me, or I could drive to your place."

"I'll collect you. Be back in an hour or so." He gave her a kiss then headed to his car.

Ted arrived back soon, dressed in more casual clothes. He carried the food Marlene had prepared to his car and put it in the cooler in the trunk, arranging it around the drinks he had already loaded. They headed off to the yacht club, chatting amiably about the day with no hard feelings after the previous night together.

Ted quickly had the yacht ready to sail while Marlene familiarized herself with the boat and tried to remember what little she knew about sailing.

"Can you steer the boat so that you keep the green markers on your left, please," he asked, stepping away from the wheel.

Marlene steered under motor competently, remembering times when she had been entrusted with this task before, while Ted uncovered the main and fore sails ready to set those once he was clear of the marina berths. Once clear he set the sails for the westerly sea breeze, stopped the motor and headed north past Vashon Island, allowing Marlene to continue to steer and pointing out places of interest on shore.