Aggressive Addiction Ch. 01

I'm so confused.

My shirt yesterday smelled like him, and I'm sure it still does. I throw it into the wash with everything else, not even bothering to take a whiff.

Thursday night, I'm late by half an hour, and it's sprinkling outside again. Matt is at the door with the key in the lock when I show up, hoodie on. He doesn't say a word. I don't thank him either.

I've been on a nonstop loop of emotions and feelings since Tuesday: horny, angry, happy because I got the job, sad because I don't have any friends and back to horny. I'm just angry at this point, planting hard punches into the weathered punching bag. I want to knock the thing off of the chain. I'm just so... pissed. Whatever's happening needs to stop happening. I'm done with this crazy array of emotions.

Matt simply plays on his phone. I don't think he looks up at me once.

My fists hurt by the time I'm done. My arms are sore and heavy. I can't think anymore. My whole body has over-exerted itself.

My god, am I tired. I take off my gloves, my shoes. I try to run a hand through my hair, curls tightened because of my sweating. I sit on my box for a while, resting my elbows on my knees, catching my breath. I close my eyes, clearing my mind best I can.

I'm sitting for what seems like forever when I feel him in front of me. CLOSE in front. My eyes snap open, and as soon as they do, Matt grabs my face, taking my lips with his. I can't even process what's happening, but he's on his knees and in between my legs while I gasp and kick off my shoes and grab at his shoulders, trying desperately to mold him into me.

It's rough and hard and desperate, both of us too worked up for niceties. Matt licks my lips and I drown at the taste of his tongue. God, yes. I need this. I'll think about it later, but right now, Matt has my bottom lip between his teeth and I grab at his jacket to unzip it. Too hot, too sexy. My whole body craves him. I hate how much I want him. We don't talk. We never knew each other.

I want him to pound me into next week.

We're both sweaty and hot and confused, but if I don't get that jacket off of his shoulders and my legs around his waist, I might burst. Matt is on top of it; he shoves everything aside so he's as close as possible. He's bitten my tongue twice, and I'm sure the second time caused the tiniest drop of blood to rise, but we don't care. He's so strong, and the cloud around us holds all of our sexual tension in and holds it close, too. I keep my hands on his cheek and the back of his neck, probably to the point where he's uncomfortable, but he doesn't care. He humps me in the dirtiest way, our hard cocks taking the most of the friction. I'm going to explode.

Matt bites at my neck and I cry out every time, my nails raking the skin at his shoulder blades. He hasn't stopped rubbing against me. He hasn't even slowed down. I want it all.

The rain is pouring outside and creates a droning background noise. Every grunt, moan, gasp—the sounds echo off the walls. I scratch his back in the process of tearing that wife beater off of him. The skin on his chest and torso is clear, not a trace of ink. He's beefy, as I suspected, but seeing it up close makes me moan aloud. I shove him away from me and tackle him, instantly taking a perked nipple in my mouth and moaning around him, the flavor of salt dominating my taste buds. I lick roughly at his nipple, and then follow up by taking it gently between my teeth. Matt smacks my ass hard and then tugs my shorts down. My ass is exposed to the room, which is cooler than I thought. I get goosebumps instantly.

I'm fire and he's gasoline; everything he does makes me go into a fever. I take his other nipple in my mouth, giving it the same treatment as the other. I swirl my tongue around the dark pink peak and take my shorts off at the same time. Matt moans under me and his large hands creep up to palm at my torso. As I work him over, he takes both my nipples in between his fingers, pinching them moderately. I can't believe this is happening right now. It's not like I didn't think about it, but I didn't know he was thinking the same thing.

He's absolutely electric, and every time he touches me, I'm sure he's leaving searing marks. The padded floor is perfection for our misfit adventure. We haven't said a word to each other thus far, but there's no need. We flip over so he's on top, and he grabs me by my head of hair, roughly pulling me up to kiss him. His tongue plunges in and out of my mouth and then he pulls away. I feel a hard smack to my cheek and dramatically throw my head over while I groan his name. Matt hits me in the face again as he pulls his sweatpants off.

We kiss again, roughly. I bite at him, he bites at me. I even have my hand around his neck while he kisses me and strokes his leaking cock at the same time. The first comprehensive thing that comes out of his mouth is "I have condoms". He takes my idea, securely placing his hand around my neck while he fetches condoms from his sweatpants pocket. Just like in the movies, he rips the package open with his teeth and rolls the rubber onto his hard prick with one hand. I, on the other hand, close my eyes and breathe through my nose while he chokes me.

I don't think he's going to split me in half, but he has sizeable girth. Fuck it. Ruin my ass. I don't care. By the packaging, I can tell the condoms are pre-lubed, so I'm only slightly worried. I know I'm red in the face, but I don't want him to stop choking me until his cock is inside me. I still might not want him to stop at that point.

He lets go to forcibly spread my legs and position himself at my tight hole, and I start to cough and take in air. Matt doesn't even flinch. He just slaps my face and slowly pushes himself at my entrance. I'm not an amateur, but it's been a while. I groan out loud at the pain but choose not to stop him. I need this. Hitting punching bags isn't enough anymore.

I'm almost a mess beneath him as I clench my fists at the pain. Once he's inside me as much as he can be, I finally let go and a tear escapes, rolling down my temple. Matt sees this, and kisses my lips before licking the tear from my face. "I'm gonna fuck you so good, baby. I'm gonna fuck you so good."

Matt doesn't start slow either. He kisses me once, all tongue. And then he pumps into me, fast, hard. My whole body shakes. It's so painful yet energetic enough to almost make me forget about the pain. I cry out so loud, my throat hurts. Matt keeps his locomotive like rhythm even as he kisses my neck. It's a hot-sore pain that turns into pleasure with every tough thrust inside my body. I'm probably thirty pounds lighter than him. I sniff once and place my hands on his pecs. My eyes close and I think I even feel my back crack a little with the amount of force he puts behind each push. "Fuck! Pound me, Matt," I yell out. He slaps my face and kisses me so hard it hurts my lips.

"Beg me again," he snaps.

"I want that cock, baby. Fuck me hard," I whine. I have to swipe away a tear, but it's worth it. It's worth it if I can't properly sit for a week. It's worth it if I go to my first day of work with Matt's hand print on my neck.

"I fuckin' wanna break you," Matt growls, glaring into my soul with those steel-blue eyes and intimidating me to my core. Of course he wants to break me. He's always wanted to break me. He puts his hand over my neck again, choking me while I keep my hands around his veined, beautifully tattooed forearm, encouraging him—begging him—to do more. I want bruises. I want sore legs. I want a painful shower later on. I want to have to shift every five minutes as I sit in a chair. I want to have a sore throat from screaming so loudly.

I know why I want it and I know it's wrong, but I need him to abuse me. I know it's my demons creeping up and shoving me back into that dubious, bad behavior, but I want him to hurt me like he did all those years ago. Fuck, I'm so screwed. It's so hard to come out of it once you're in it. It's so addicting. Control. Giving it and getting it.

I'm fading in and out, and I think I might pass out right before Matt lets me go and takes both my hands in his, pinning them above my head and slamming himself into me while I whine and cry. The tears are frequent now. He kisses me while he uses me, and I let him do it. I conform into the submissive coward I've always been and I even beg him to keep hurting me.

Being hurt is too easy. You don't have to run from it. You can just feel sorry for yourself until the numbness takes over.

I keep my mouth open but my voice is caught in my throat while Matt has his way with me. Now it's only the sound of flesh against flesh that echoes off the walls. I still have on my longsleeve shirt, and when I feel myself completely lose it and erupt all over it. Matt kisses me hard, and I know he's coming, too. His eyes lock me in ice and I'm defenseless. Our bodies frozen save for a languid, sloppy kiss.

I'm still shaking as he pulls out and wipes my face gently with the collar of my shirt. "I like this," he says, gently touching my nose ring. I nod and sit up with him. After Matt finally detaches himself from me, I scoot away from him and head off to the bathroom quickly to clean myself off.

My hair is a sweated out mess. The face in the mirror isn't unfamiliar; I remember looking this way and feeling this way years ago. The difference is now I know what I'm doing. I know that I always secretly loved it. It's what I'm used to. It's easier to resist change.

Matt is nowhere to be seen as I pack up my things and pedal home.

*****

A/N: Let me know what you think. I know you don't know much about our main characters, but you will soon. Thanks for reading!