Alex & Alexa Ch. 15

What was there to be done? We'd been found out. It was inevitable, and we'd continued our love affair anyway, knowing that it would never work. What fools we'd been. And yet I cannot imagine how anything could have played out differently, because meeting Alexa was what sealed my fate. I could see no scenarios in which I would not fall in love with her. It was simply impossible.

I knew she felt the same way about me. What torture had she been putting herself through when she was agreeing with my mother that she had to bury or release her feelings for me? What manner of strength would that take? Even now, it was shocking to me, in spite of all our despairing talk about how we knew we'd eventually need to give one another up.

And we made love, and we'd fallen in love, and then we'd married one another. And it could never be.

I squeezed my eyes shut and my body shook as I resisted the urge to throw my laptop at the far wall in frustration.

It was too much. I turned onto my stomach and buried my face in a pillow as tears almost burst from my eyes. I never would have seen it coming, but I cried. Helpless and feeling broken, there was nothing left to do but that.

Alexa...

***

I wiped at my eyes as I felt my phone buzz. Shaking my head to clear it, I picked up the device and squinted, noticing it was already nearly 9 am. I saw I had a message from dad and I opened it.

"Time to come up, Alex. Today is going to be a long day for everyone."

I knew he was right and I sighed heavily. Pushing myself out of bed, I showered quickly to rinse myself off and then fumbled through putting on some clothes that I really didn't feel like wearing. I checked myself in the mirror, to make sure I looked human and presentable before taking a deep breath and heading upstairs.

Mom and dad were sitting in the living room quietly, both dressed casually. Mom looked up and I could see the concern in her eyes, even if her face was passive. "Would you like some coffee, baby?" she asked. I pursed my lips as I considered and then shook my head. Dad gestured for me to sit in the chair nearby, so I plopped down into it and allowed my gaze to meet theirs.

"Did you sleep alright?" dad asked. I just shrugged and he nodded. "Understandable. To my amazement, your mother and I both slept like rocks. She was really stressed by the time we went to bed."

"I don't blame her one bit," I allowed. "This whole thing is... I dunno. Sorry."

"Alli's still not down," mom said, stating the obvious. "Poor thing must be exhausted. I've never seen her like that before."

She looked at me, curious, but not unkind. "Alex, have you ever seen her like that?"

I shook my head slowly. "No, mom. Not even in the hospital. I didn't even think it was possible for her to be that way. I..."

I faltered in what I was about to say, and dad nodded. "It's okay, Alex. Say what you were going to. We're still waiting for your aunt before we begin really talking, we promised you we would. We're just concerned that she hasn't left her room yet."

I sighed heavily. "I've seen her sad. I've seen her feel despair. About us. She even cried. But... I haven't seen her retreat away like that before, as if... as if her whole world had suddenly disappeared."

Mom looked at her coffee cup, her eyes somewhat cloudy. "She's told me about her life and I think Allie has led a somewhat charmed existence up until now. I'm not saying she's spoiled or anything, but even my mother's death was not a jarring event for her, she had time to prepare herself. She'd probably admit that just about everything has gone her way in life, until now."

I tilted my head. "You... you think she's never dealt with a crisis like this before?"

"I don't know, but it's possible," mom answered. "My poor sister. This has to be so hard on her."

Mom looked at dad. "She hasn't responded to your texts?" Dad shook his head and mom sighed again. "I... Mike, you'd better go and get her, please. I know we said we'd give her time, but that was well over fifteen hours ago."

Fuck, it had been fifteen hours?

Dad nodded and got up, leaving the living room and heading upstairs. After a couple of moments of silence, mom looked at me.

"We'll wait until she's here to really talk, Alex, but I just want you to know how much your father and I love you. We love Alli too, but you're our son. We'll always love you."

"I know, mom," I said quietly. "Thanks. I love you guys too."

"We'll get through this," she said, leaning forward and smiling gently. "You'll get through this. You're a De Bourne, a Blackwell and a Gordon, you couldn't ask for a much stronger lineage, you know."

I nodded. "When I heard you two talking, and how she was going to take it all on herself, I couldn't stop myself from coming upstairs. I was terrified, but I knew I couldn't let her take it on alone."

Mom's eyes were a little glassy as she smiled at me. "Staying downstairs might have been the smart thing to do, Alex, but I'm glad you didn't. Not only because your father and I now know, but because it took strength to come up those steps and confess to what you did. Great strength and courage. Another boy your age might have just hidden his head under the pillow and let the girl take on the burden."

"I couldn't let that happen," I said distantly, my eyes on the floor. "I... this was inevitable, I know that. I always did. But I couldn't let her stand alone, at the end of it all."

"It's not an end, Alex," she said softly, her eyes misty now. "Yes, some aspects of it will seem that way to you, possibly for quite some time. But our family will survive this and grow stronger, united and loving one another."

"I wonder if Alexa can ever forgive me for all of this?" I murmured.

"You might find out sooner than you think," dad said in a grim tone as he stood in the entryway to the living room, holding up a small envelope. "Alli's not in her room and I found this. I think she's gone..."

***

Author's Notes: One chapter to go, folks. Remember that before sending me rage reviews and hate mail.

Overwhelming numbers of PMs (well, ten a day, which ay not be overwhelming for some authors, but it's a lot for me) have begged me to finish this story before continuing on with my others. I really, really want to get going on those, but I dare not rush the ending of Alex & Alexa either.

So my plan is to publish the last chapter at Christmas. Maybe not the day of, but around that time. Then I can get on with my other stories free of guilt for the new year.

Holy crap, 2,066 followers? I'm flattered! Sure, some authors have 10,000, but I'm not competing with them. I'm just happy that many people enjoy my stories. Even my obscure ones like Time Rider are developing a devout following and that is a great feeling. Thank you all for that.

The show I'm working on has wrapped for the season, so I'm thinking this will translate into more time for writing. Real Life may throw curve balls at us, but it's still my hope that I'll accomplish some things on this end.

I'd better proof-read this puppy and then publish it, I've already had six PMs about it since this morning.

Keep your stick on the ice!

- Management