Alex and Max

Many thanks to my wonderful editor ElizabethDarcy!

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I glanced at the clock again and only a minute had passed. I could almost swear there was something wrong with the clock, I wouldn´t put it past my math teacher to mess with it so he could torture us longer. Lunch break was next and I was hungry, and honestly, does anyone actually find math interesting? Maybe some really nerdy types...

I´m more of a jock myself and it was my skills on the field that got me to the college of my choice. Not that I´m dumb or anything, I just loved sports and it took most of my time. I play baseball and I`m the star of my team, which, as you probably know, has its perks. I guess you could say I was part of the popular group. So, there I was, just scribbling on my notebook and hoping that the time would go faster when suddenly I felt like somebody was watching me. I looked around but everyone was either listening the teacher intently or just staring at their books waiting for the bell to ring. The people sitting closest to me were my best friend Brad, his girlfriend Jessica, and our teammate, Tom. Then there was also Tina who usually spend a lot of her schooldays flirting with me and also some geek whose name I couldn´t remember. So, it was probably Tina who was staring at me, although she did seem busy writing notes.

I continued doodling on my notebook and tried to tune out my teacher`s voice once again. It didn´t take long before I felt someone´s eyes on my back again, curious now, I turned quickly to catch the culprit in the act. I turned just in time see that nerdy guy lowering his eyes. What..? Isn´t he one of those types that hang on to teachers every word? Why on earth was he looking at me... I still couldn´t remember that guy´s name...Mark...maybe Mike.

Just then the long awaited ring of the bell released us from our torture and everybody jumped up and ran off to get lunch.

Brad turned to me."Hey Alex, did you see that waste of space staring at you most of the lesson?"

"Yeah, I noticed. Don´t know what his problem is..." I felt kind of bad cause Brad called him a waste of space, that´s pretty harsh even from Brad, but then, I couldn´t remember the little guy´s name, so I wasn´t much better than Brad.

"That loser probably hopes if he stares at you long enough, he´ll figure out how to become cool," Brad said with a laugh.

"Well, he has a long wait ahead of him if that´s the case," I snorted.

"You said it, Bro! He´d better stop though, that´s really faggy. I´m tempted to give him a piece of my mind." Brad was already cracking his knuckles. Jesus that guy is aggressive...

"Oh, don´t bother, it was nothing. We have more important things to think about, like the game on Saturday and the party afterwards."

I knew mentioning the party would distract Brad from the geek and, as predicted, Brad´s face cleared from the scowl it was sporting before and showed blatant excitement at the thought of Saturday.

"Yeah! I can´t wait! And Tina´s parties are always the best, although your 18 birthday party was epic. By the way, when are you planning to put Tina out of her misery and fuck her? She´s practically begging for it."

"She´s just not my type."

"Bro, with those tits she´s everybody's type."

"Yeah yeah, let´s go get some lunch."

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Oh my god! I feel like fainting. Did he see me staring at him? It was so close! Oh god, I´m so stupid, my life is over if he catches me. I´ve had a crush on Alex Mason for like a year now, but I´m not so brain-dead that I would actually let him know...or his group of bullies. Obviously my self control is slipping. How on earth I´m gonna survive gym class...and especially the locker room.

"Hey Max, over here!"

I spotted my friend Kevin sitting at one of the cafeteria tables and walked to sit across the table from him.

"What´s wrong Max? You look like you´ve seen a ghost."

"Worse, actually. Alex almost caught me checking him out, or worst case scenario, he really did notice."

"Oh man... Didn´t I warn you? You´re gonna be in serious shit if he finds out about your crush."

"Yeah, I know. I just can´t help it; it´s like my eyes have a will of their own. Alex looks like a greek god with his body and his beautiful long blond hair."

"I´ve heard it all before Max, but I still don´t understand how you can be in love with a stupid jock who bullies others."

"He is not stupid! And he is not a bully, I´ve never seen him bully anyone."

"And may I ask how you know he isn´t stupid? You´ve never even talked to him! I bet he doesn´t even know your name, even if, by some miracle, he is aware of your existence. And at the very least his friends are bullies, like that jerk Brad who is always pushing you around. You gonna take a risk and tell Alex you´re gay and in love with him?"

"NO!" Don´t even say it out loud."

I couldn´t help looking around and to make sure we hadn´t attracted any attention with our conversation. Fear gripped my insides even at the thought of Alex finding out, although I was sure he was a nicer person than the others in his group, I could very well imagine the beating I would receive if he found out about me being gay. I mean, the guy was obviously straight and very popular with the ladies and he has a reputation to uphold. If he didn´t beat me himself, all it would take is a small comment to one of his friends and my life would become hell.

I´m lucky though, to have a friend like Kevin who I know wouldn´t abandon me, but then I´d be the cause of his misery too. He would be guilty by association. Kevin is the best friend I could have ever hoped for and we have been friends since kindergarten. Some point at the beginning of high school, we were having a movie night and he suddenly just asked me if I was gay. I tried to deny it of course, but I was always a crappy liar and Kevin just stared at me until I said yes. I thought our friendship was over, but Kevin hugged me and said, "Ok, you could have said something earlier though, I`m your best friend for Christ´s sake." Then he just continued watching the movie and I sat there with my mouth hanging open. Like I said, best friend I could ever ask for.

With the thought of Alex running through my head, I went to gym class and prayed the day would be over soon.

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The warm water streaming down my tired body felt really good and I felt my muscles relaxing. I had pushed my body hard again and I was proud of myself. I was just washing my hair when I noticed that nerdy guy from math class, he was washing himself in the shower across from me and if my eyes didn´t deceive me, I could swear he was staring at my cock. I could see his penis growing slowly and becoming erect. I kept looking at him until he raised his head and his eyes met mine. The geek´s face lost all colour, and after shaking like a leaf for a moment, he practically ran from the showers.

I felt kind of guilty, I could see clearly he was in panic and close to tears. At this point, you didn´t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why he was looking at me earlier today, the guy is gay and obviously thinks I´m hot. Can´t really blame him for either of those, it´s not like being a gay is a choice and you would have to be blind not to think I´m goodlooking. I know I sound arrogant, but it´s just a fact. It´s not like I spend my days in front of a mirror admiring myself. I know my thoughts regarding gays are a bit liberal compared to most jocks, but considering I´m bi myself...

It isn´t something I really talk about, maybe next year when I´m free of high school I can be more open about it. It`s not like I´ve actually done anything with guys, no one has been worth the trouble it could cause. But yeah, I felt bad scaring the little guy, he probably thinks I´m gonna kill him. Poor kid, I should be nice and find him to tell I´m not gonna hit him or tell anyone. Cause honestly, not that I would tell him, but him looking at me... It was pretty hot.

And I finally remembered the kid´s name, it´s Max.

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I ran out of the shower room with tears in my eyes, though I felt like my knees were gonna give out any second. It happened, I got caught and I wasn´t gonna stay to wait for the beating. I dressed quickly, my mind almost empty, unable to deal with what just happened. If I could just survive the day, hide somewhere...But there is always tomorrow. Oh god, I´m scared! Why did I look? Don´t I have any self control? Why can´t I be normal? I have to find Kevin and tell him everything.

The second Kevin saw me he noticed something was wrong.

"What happened? Are you ok?"

"Can´t talk here."

"Okay, let´s go somewhere more private."

We walked in silence to a park on campus, and as soon as we sat down on the bench that was hidden from curious eyes, I broke down and cried.

"Hey, whatever it is, it´s gonna be okay. We can surely fix it."

"No, we really can´t," I said through my tears. "Alex saw me staring at his cock in the showers and if that didn´t incriminate me enough, I got a hard-on while watching him."

"Oh shit..."

"Exactly."

"Well, what did he do? Did he yell at you? Did he tell his friends?"

"No, I ran before he had the time to do anything."

"Good thinking."

"Didn´t really think anything at that point, I guess it was a natural flight response. It´s not like fight would have been the thing to help my survival..."

"Yeah, he and his friends would have killed you."

"Well, that´s still a possibility or maybe they´re just gonna torture me for the rest of high school. By the way, you´re entitled to say, 'I told you so'. You warned me thousands of times."

"I´m not gonna say that, you feel crappy enough already."

"True."

Talking with Kevin actually helped me a bit, I´m still scared shitless, but it was a nice reminder that I´m not totally alone. The rest of the day was agonizingly slow. I kept watching to see if someone was looking at me funny so I would be prepared to run and hide. I waited all day for a beating that never happened; no one even noticed me, no ugly comments or hostile looks, nothing. I wasn´t relieved though, it just made me more jumpy and my nerves were at the breaking point. I made it through the day, but it was a sleepless night.

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I tried to find the kid, but didn´t see him anywhere after the little incident. Maybe he was hiding from me. The next morning, I got lucky and spotted him reading a book behind a tree. I really hadn´t planned what I was gonna say to Max, so I just marched to him and cleared my throat so he would notice me. Slowly he raised his head and when he noticed it was me who was addressing him... His eyes widened and he looked like he had to work hard to keep his bladder under control.

"Hey Max, what are you reading?" I thought it would be wise to start with small talk. It would have been a good idea too if I would have gotten a response, but I didn´t. The poor fellow just stared me unable to speak.

"Yeah...I was just thinking. About yesterday... You don´t have to worry, I´m not mad and I´m not gonna tell anyone. Okay? Just wanted to talk to you in case you were nervous about what people would say."

Still nothing.

I don´t think he believes me.

Then I just blurted it out. "I´m bisexual. So...Everything is cool."

And still no response, his eyes just got a bit wider.

Oh god! Me and my big mouth.

Just when I thought I couldn´t shove that foot any deeper in my mouth, I said, "It´s totally understandable that you were checking me out, I am pretty hot."

Max blushed and his face looked like a tomato, but I couldn´t swear that my own face colour was normal at this point.

"Yeah. I´m gonna go to class, see ya." And then I retreated as gracefully I could, which isn´t saying much. Oh god! I´m an idiot! What the hell happened to me? If it´s not bad enough I told a total stranger I´m bi, I had to sound a complete moron while doing it. And I didn´t get one word back from him!

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That had to have been the most surreal moment of my life.

What the fuck?

I know I should be rejoicing about the fact that I wasn´t going to get my ass kicked, cause that´s what he said. Right? But all that went through my brain was, "He´s bi?!" I know it´s not unheard of, but seriosly, my dream guy actually likes men too. Things like that don´t happen in my world. Alex Mason isn´t straight and he just told me that himself. Oh god! When he said that bit about him being hot I probably flushed scarlet because I got a very vivid mental image of his big beautiful dick that I saw in the showers. It really was gorgeous, I would love to just go down on my knees and suck that big...Better stop thinking about that before I embarrass my self and ruin my underwear.

When Kevin showed up, I just started babbling.

"You won´t believe what happened. He was just here in front of me and...Its okay, everything is fine. I can´t believe it. I was sure I was going to die. I was totally speechless, I didn´t say anything. Oh god, I really didn´t say anything! He must think I`m an idiot!..."

I would have gone all day if Kevin hadn´t interrupted me.

"Well you certainly aren´t speechless now. You wanna clue me in?"

"Sorry, I got carried away."

"Yeah, I noticed. So, who are you talking about?"

"Alex came to talk to me, he said he´s not mad and isn´t going to tell his friends. "

"Alex Mason actually came to talk to you?"

"Yes!"

"But why?"

"I just told you..."

"Yeah I know, but he could have just kept his mouth shut and pretended nothing ever happened."

That was actually a very good point...

"I don´t know...He said something about not wanting me to worry."

"He doesn´t want you to worry...Guess you were right and he really is a nice guy."

"And not just a nice guy, he´s also bisexual!"

"What? How do you know?" Kevin looked like I had just told him that earth is flat despite the current rumors.

"He told me!"

"I know I´m starting to sound like a parrot, but I repeat myself regardless, why did he tell you that?"

"I don´t know!"

"I can´t believe I´m saying this, but...You think it´s possible that he told you because... he wants you?"

"Don´t be ridiculous! Alex is like a god, he could get anyone he wants, male or female, as it happens. I´m just me, ordinary boring me. There´s no reason he would want me even though he likes guys."

"There is nothing wrong with you Max."

"Well yeah, but there´s not so much right with me either. I`m short and skinny and just...plain."

"Max..."

"Just stop it! I know you´re trying to be a good friend, but I know what I look like."

Kevin looked like he wanted to argue with me further but he held his tongue on that subject and said instead.

"Well, the good news is you can finally stop worrying about his friends beating you up."

"And my jack off sessions just got a whole lot better now that I know he´s bi," I said laughing.

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It has been few days since I had my one-sided chat with Max and I still haven´t gotten it out of my head. Or to be precise, I haven´t gotten him out of my head. I talked to him and said everything is fine and that should have been that, but no, I keep thinking about his cute brown eyes, his lean body, how adorable he looks when blushing and how edible his erect cock looked when he was watching me.

Oh god how much I want to fuck him! He would probably be game if I made a pass at him, I mean, he was the one who was ogling me. But somehow that doesn´t feel right, he seemed shy and in all likelihood is still a virgin, and when it comes to men, I´m a virgin too. But we´re still in high school and it´s not like I´m gonna date him. Although, high school will be over pretty soon...

Jesus man! Get your head straight!The pun intended.

When I´m in college I can consider dating someone, there´s so many people that no one will care what I do. And maybe, if I´m lucky, I will find some cute girl and fall in love and I don´t have to deal with all this shit. Oh, I´m such a coward.

Finally it was Saturday and, as predicted, our team annihilated the competition and after that it was time to party. Maybe this would help me focus on other things besides Max. I had managed to see a glimpse of him in the audience and now I wondered if he would come to the party. Everyone was invited, though I´ve never seen Max at these parties before. To be honest, I dont know if I would have noticed him before, even if he would have been here. I guess I can be a little self-centered.

Brad and I rang the doorbell of Tina´s house and she came to answer the door.

"Hey Brad, Alex, great to see you."

I could tell she was being sincere. Actually her smile was almost predatory. A bit creepy... I really don´t know why I dislike Tina, she´s friendly and really hot, but I guess I´m starting to prefer the more refined, intellectual type. Someone smart and kind, maybe a bit shy...like Max.

Don´t even go there man!

Still I couldn´t get rid of Tina fast enough to suit me, she was not the one I wanted. But she was persistent and It would have been necessary to be really rude to get rid of her, so she managed to get me to the dancefloor. At least on there I don´t have to invent excuses why I´m not interested.

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Why am I here? I don´t know any of these people. I mean, I go to school with them, but they´re not my friends. Kevin isn´t even here, his girlfriend is in town, so that left me flying solo. Of course I know the real reason why I am at Tina´s party, Alex is here too. But I don´t really want to think on that too much. It´s not like anything is going to happen between us and I´m really close to looking like a stalker.

Here I was trying to convince myself that I´m just one of the party goers and not stalking anyone when I spotted Alex on the dancefloor. Oh! He´s so gorgeous! If he moves like that when he is only dancing...and then I noticed the sexy blond with big boobs who was grinding her pelvis against Alex. Despite all the lectures I had given myself, after seeing that, I´m so jealous I could spit. I know I never had a chance with him, I really do, but the heart wants what it wants.

Right now my heart is breaking.

Stupid! You knew this would happen!

I just can´t stand this. I have to get away from here, away from them.

I made a beeline for the door, but the tears started falling before I got through the front door. As soon I was out of the house I hid myself behind the gazebo and I collapsed on the grass sobbing.

How could I be so stupid as to fall in love with a guy I don´t even know?

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So, I was dancing and trying to avoid Tina`s busy hands and thinking, "isn´t this supposed to go the other way around?" My eyes was scanning the growd and I saw this dark haired guy stumbling through the mass of people to get to the door.

Max.

He saw me dancing with Tina. Obviously that upset him pretty bad.

Oh shit!

At that moment I stopped with the excuses. I liked Max a lot and from the looks of things, he liked me too. It wasn´t just a physical thing. I wanted to be with him. I really don´t know him that well, but I guess the point is, I really want to. I wanna know everything, the good and the bad. And I wasn´t scared anymore.

And then I started to run after him.

I practically burst out of the house, but I couldn´t see Max, just some people smoking in front of the house. I looked around and then I heard the sound, someone sniffling behind the gazebo.

"Max...?"

He froze and looked up at me like he couldn´t believe his eyes.

"You okay?"

"I´m fine."

Ah, he speaks.

"You don´t look fine, you look cold." I sat beside him and put my arm protectively around his shoulders.