Alex in the Shit

I have been looking at pornography for the last couple of hours and I am really turned on but I don't want to cum yet. I want something more but I am sure quite what.

I go to the bathroom with my tablet and shut the door. I light a candle. I run a few inches of warm water into the bath, so I won't be cold, and I get in. I have a short shower hose that I can attach to the taps. I remove the shower-head to leave just the hose. I turn the taps back on and adjust the flow so there is a gentle, comfortably warm trickle. I insert the hose into my rectum and push it up as far as it will comfortably go.

My rectum soon fills with water, but I know if I hold myself with a particular tension then the water will travel up more, and slowly fill up the whole of my colon. I lie back and relax, and look at some more pornography on the tablet. I am warm and comfortable and enjoying the sensations of liquid fullness in my colon. Soon the pressure has built up too much and the water gushes out of my anus into the bath. This first time it comes out clean.

My bowels fill again with water. This second time there are some turds that push past the pipe into the bath. They float here next to me.

This outflow is a delicious feeling. I feel a deep relaxation and acceptance of myself. What usually evokes great disgust in people, I embrace and relish. There is even a kind of tenderness towards myself and this body, which is amazing in its utter complexity. I guess this is love.

I am allowing this cycle to keep happening: the water is slowly filling me up, and I feel an increasing pressure in my bowels; and now it all rushes back out again, with a delightful feeling of relief, bringing more shit with it. The shit is less solid now and is flowing out in a great rush with the water.

The bath is slowly filling with warm water. The hose comes out this time. I check the temperature of the water - I don't want to burn my bowels - and the strength of flow. It is fine and I slip it back in.

I lie here. The water flows in. The water and shit flow out. The water gets deeper. I need to pee. My penis is resting like a tender plant on my belly. I let my piss flow out over my belly into the water. It is beautifully and surprisingly hot.

I feel no need to hold anything in.

I would like to cum now. I take into my hand one of the first turds. I grasp my hardening penis and rub the shit up and down the shaft. It is soft and feels silky on my cock. I feel the cum building. I am getting close and I slow down to prolong the moment, to hold myself on the edge for a little while longer. Just a moment longer. And now I am cumming. I slow my masturbation right down at the end so I cum in one long flow and now another, relaxed so that there is no tension to impede the free flow of my cum. This is a third emptying.

I lie here a little longer. I am lying in warm water, brown with my shit. Water from the hose is still trickling into my bowels and flowing out again. It feels like there is no more shit to come. I pull out the hose and stay relaxed. I allow myself to empty out whatever water and shit is left. I feel drained. It is over.

I pull the plug out. The water and shit is draining away. Here is a turd too big to go down the plug-hole. I push it with my fingers so that is squishes down and through the holes. I stand up and turn on the shower and let the warm water wash me and clean out the bath.

I step out and dry myself with a warm towel. I go to bed and snuggle down under the duvet. Here is a me that no one sees. I am happy.

I know finding myself late one night in the bath, up to my neck in warm water and shit, is hitting a new high or low. I rest in this. I sleep.