Alex - The Novella

She grasped my wrist and brought it down to her sex. "Rub my clit. Hard." I could barely think. I just obeyed. She shuddered on top of me as her own fingers snaked down to my pussy. I gasped sharply when her fingers brushed over my swollen, needy clit.

"Don't stop," she murmured, her breath hot against my ear. I hadn't even realized I'd stopped.

Then I felt two fingers enter me and it was all I could do to remember to keep going. Our moans mingled, echoing in the room. As her fingers curled inside me, my back arched and I felt release coiling inside me. I was so close. Please, please, please...

I felt my eyes drift closed as the first wave of pleasure shot through me. I heard Alex's voice from a distance, her fingers pushing my hair out of my eyes as she shifted her weight to her forearm. "Don't, don't, don't. Don't close your eyes. Watch me. Watch us."

Her eyes were so dark, so intense, they pinned me to the floor as another wave of pleasure washed over me. I flicked her clit with my thumb, harder this time, and she cursed, throwing her head back, shuddering violently. I watched in utter lust as she came apart in my hands, her juices trickling down my fingers.

But her fingers didn't stop. They curled, harder this time, inside me, and the pressure on my clit increased. The pleasure was so close that I could taste it. God, so close...

Alex buried her teeth in my shoulder and my body seized, trying to make sense of the pain and pleasure. Yes, my eyes closed, but I held on tightly to her, my only anchor in a world I was so unfamiliar with. The roiling pleasure made me clench down on her fingers once, twice, three times... and I lost count.

For the first time in my life, as I stared into her sated onyx eyes, let her wipe the sweat off my forehead and listened to her sweet words, I knew what it meant to feel at peace.

We stayed on the carpet, on our sides, talking and touching until the rumbling of my stomach made conversation impossible. Alex helped me up and promised to have breakfast ready by the time I'd cleaned up. I wanted to tell her not to but I gathered that she liked the idea of taking care of me. Truthfully, it didn't sound half bad to me, either.

After a long, searing kiss and loving pinch to my ass, she threw her boyshorts and tee on - watching her do this really made me question the need for breakfast - and went off to the kitchen.

I was so smitten. There was no denying it. I'd never fallen so quickly or so hard before. It wasn't the sex - though, god knows, it was a nice perk - but it was the way she treated me. It was the way I was when I was with her. We seemed to work, to mesh, without even trying.

As I brushed my teeth, I wondered if this was a lesbian thing or an Alex thing. Maybe women were just more in tune with each other? Maybe it was a natural thing? I would've to ask Charm; I had no clue.

As I slid my robe around my shoulders, I realized I hadn't stopped smiling. My body was singing and I hadn't felt so truly sated... ever. In every way. I stretched languidly, watching the way the robe glided over my body in the mirror.

The silly smile was still on my face when I popped open the bathroom door... and ran right into Alex. Surprised, I placed a hand over my suddenly racing heart.

"Jeez, you scared me." My eyes ran over her. "Why are you dressed?"

Her face was blank. A nagging sense of foreboding settled in my stomach.

"What's wrong?" I asked when she didn't reply.

She held a slip of paper right in front of my face. I had to lean back to read it.

Shit.

It was the flight ticket I'd booked for the end of the month - the one I'd stuck on the refrigerator.

Oh god.

What was she thinking? I started to shake my head.

"When were you going to tell me?" Her voice was low, angry.

I stared blankly at the piece of paper, dread creeping into my veins, trying to explain myself. My mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out.

"Were you even going to tell me?" she repeated, her words bitter and hard. I don't think a slap could've hurt worse. My brain scrambled for an explanation.

"Alex, listen, I booked this a couple of weeks back..."

I couldn't find the words to answer her after that - I didn't know how to, especially when she asked me in that tone. I'd really wanted to tell her but I also wanted to see how the date would go first. There had just been too many things up in the air last night. My lips parted for me to say just that, but she moved away and placed the ticket on the edge of the bed.

"I believed you, you know. When you said you wanted something with me, I believed you," she said quietly. "I didn't know why I did."

A bitter laugh. It pained me to hear it. She shook her head. I wanted so badly to say something, but my throat felt tight and I couldn't bring myself to utter even a word.

"It's a fucking one-way ticket. Fuck this. I'll just... go."

My eyes followed her movement towards the door; I remained unmoving. It felt like I was outside my body, watching all this shit unfold after such a magical night. But when I saw her frame move past my doorway, my legs and my voice box jerked into action.

"Alex, wait!" I called out as I grabbed the first article of clothing I could find. Somehow, I knew that running after Alex clad only in a short silky robe wouldn't fly in my building. I kept calling for Alex to wait, but when I raced out to the hall, she wasn't there. I opened the front door, hoping that she'd be waiting for the lift, but she wasn't there either. I heard a distant rumble and ran across the small corridor in bare feet, towards the windows that overlooked the carpark. I was just in time to see Alex pulling away from the lot without her helmet on. Something painful twisted in me as I watched her go, and the further she went, the worst the pain became.

I didn't know how long I stood there, staring at the route she'd taken. I was crying, too, silent tears that I'd never cried before. What the hell had I done? How could I have fucked this up so quickly?

I went back into the condo, looking at the couch where we'd made out last night. She had it all wrong. I wanted a relationship with her, and I didn't care if I had to miss flights to make it work. I'd even stay in this eternally hot country if it meant I could spend my days with her.

I swiped the tears from my cheeks and grabbed my phone. If she could find me, I would sure as hell find her.

Chapter Eight

The taxi came to a stop in front of a quaint little one-storey house in pseudo-suburbia adjacent to a highway. I thought it odd that there were no children playing in the street until I remembered that it was probably around 9AM on a Saturday.

"This is the house," the driver said, his fingers tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. I leaned forward, noting the BMW in the driveway and the framed picture of a Hindu deity hanging over the front door - a front door that was open. This really didn't seem like the kind of place Alex would be living in. I couldn't even imagine her being any kind of religious. But this was the address - the post-it I'd taken from the school confirmed it.

I handed the driver a couple of notes and mumbled a thank-you before braving the heat again.

As the taxi pulled away, I scoured the entrance for a doorbell. Couldn't find one. So I yelled out, "Hello!"

A middle-aged man came to the door, dressed in a polo T-shirt and a traditional Indian wrap-around men's garment. He stopped when he saw me, looked me up and down and pointed to the picture of the deity above his head.

"You see this?" he asked.

"Yes, I-"

"So you know we are Hindu?"

I blinked. "Yes, I do."

"So why do you always come here talking about your Jesus stuff, huh? We don't believe in Christianity. We are Hindu. Don't come here again. Okay?" He had a rather deep, resonant voice. I was a little scared. The salt and pepper handlebar moustache didn't help.

"I'm not from the church," I corrected. "I'm here to see Alex."

"Who? Who is this Alex? We don't have any Alex here."

A young girl, probably thirteen or so, came up behind him and said something I couldn't hear. But the effect on him was profound. His chest puffed up and out like an exotic bird and his expression grew grave.

"We do not know anyone by that name."

I shifted restlessly in the heat. "Look, I don't want to cause any trouble but I know you're somehow related to her. I got this address from the JC I work for."

There was a quick exchange of words between him and the girl.

"Are you her teacher?"

Uh, ethical conundrum? "Yes. And she was my best student. I'd like to speak with her regarding something important before I leave."

Another quick exchange of words and the girl turned away with a huff, clearly upset. "If she's not here -" I began, but Handlebar cut me off.

"If you are her teacher, you should know that that girl is dead to us. She disgraced this family." He spat on the ground. "We do not want anything to do with her."

The elaborate white curtains framing the front window parted and the girl's face appeared in the middle, forlorn. I looked back towards Handlebar, his chest still puffed and indignant.

"Do you know how I could contact her?" I ventured. Hey, I'd already taxi-ed this far; I might as well try.

"You should go before I call the police." He shut the door and I heard several locks click in place.

The girl in the window raised her hand, almost as though she were about to wave, when she was jerked backwards. The curtains fell back into place. I heard a lot of yelling, propelling me backward, away from the house.

I'd wanted to say so many things - anything, really - to stick up for Alex. But was it my place?

The sign in front of the club said 'Closed - Come Again Please'. Still, I got out of the cab and rapped sharply on the ornately carved wooden door. No response. I tried the handle and the door pushed inwards. I peeked around it, calling out as I went in.

"In the back," a voice called out. I followed it to a loading bay where a goods van was parked. Jack stood with his t-shirt tied around his waist, unloading crates of beer. He was in pretty good shape for a guy pushing sixty. A similarly muscular girl with a buzz cut worked alongside him.

"Just leave the flyers there," he instructed, and I looked around, hoping he wasn't speaking to me. What was it with people today mistaking me for someone else?

"Uh, Jack?" I ventured. He looked up, surprised, and set down a heavy crate on one of those wheely transport things. It took a moment but he soon smiled and shouted out a greeting.

"It's Candy, isn't it? You were here last night?" As he walked over, he untied his shirt and slipped it across his head.

His hand in mine was warm.

"It's Cady, actually. I'm surprised that you remember. There were quite a few people in here last night."

"Yeah, but I remember all the important names," he said with a wink. "Now, what can I do for you? Did you leave something at the bar?"

"Oh, no. No. Not that. I, uh, I was wondering if you could tell me where Alex lives."

His smiled faltered a little.

"Why? Did somethin' happen between you two?"

His assistant had stopped stacking boxes and was listening to our conversation without hiding the fact. My eyes darted towards her uncomfortably.

"Right," he said. "How about some morning tequila, huh?" He rubbed his hands together as my gag reflex activated at the thought of alcohol this early in the day. "Ai Tee, keep stacking and I'll be back soon."

He brought me to his office where, thankfully, he made me a cup of tea. I sipped it as he poured himself coffee, chatting about the terrible weather back in Sydney. I made the appropriate sounds, gratefully hydrating after running around like a lunatic all morning.

As he sat behind his desk, I tried to direct the conversation back to my main concern. "Alex said she used to work here?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, she used to do what Ai Tee's doing today. They're all under 18 and can only work on the premises during the day when the courtyard is transformed into a bistro. Would you like something from the kitchen? I can call for some breakfast."

"You're very sweet, Jack, but I can't right now. I really need to see Alex and I thought you might know where she lives."

He sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"You've yet to tell me why."

"It's a little personal..." I edged. "Just a misunderstanding that I really need to fix."

He seemed to think about it for a long minute.

"You know, when I first met Alex, it was just after her grandmother had passed away. I run a shelter out of my home for at risk teenagers and she came to me for help."

A lump rose in my throat as a picture of Alex, alone and grieving, entered my mind. I set the mug down.

"She was different... like someone who knew exactly who she was and was living her truth. It's hard to see that in these parts. Most people keep it on the DL." He shrugged. "So I helped her. She stayed at the house for a while, mentored a few younger kids. But she's had her share of bumps."

"What happened?"

He shook his head. "You should ask her that."

"Where is she now?"

"You have a one-track mind, Cady. Look, I know there's something going on between you and her but I can't in good conscience tell you that."

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. "I just need to see her for a few minutes. I need to set something straight." He started to shake his head. "You don't understand, she thinks I'm leaving her. And judging from what you've said and the "family" I met today, I have a feeling that she may have... abandonment issues. I just... I can't let her think that of me. Do you understand, Jack?"

He dragged a hand through his greying hair, assessing me closely. Finally, he rose and said, "Fine. But only because I have a good feeling about you." Plucking a piece of paper from his desk, he wrote down the street name and a block number.

"She's on the second floor balcony flat, the one with the red door. I can't remember the door number, I'm sorry."

"Thank you, Jack." I went around the table and hugged him tightly, so thankful that I was almost in tears.

"Don't make me regret it," he grunted.

Jack had said it would be a quick walk and he hadn't been wrong. Fifteen minutes later - 8 blocks past the club and behind a market - was block 149. I didn't even have to look for her flat because there she was, leaning against the second floor balcony railing with a cigarette dangling from her fingers.

I stood, watching her for longer than was appropriate, even for a lover. Her shoulders were tense and she lifted her fingers every few minutes to tuck her curls behind her ear. The muscles in her arms bunched and moved, her warm, brown skin cast gold in the sunlight.

"Alex," I called out. She froze, the cigarette halfway to her lips.

Then, gathering her cool, she flicked the ash away and turned toward me, a frown creasing her forehead.

"Are you done harassing everyone I know?"

I crossed my arms. "What do you mean?"

"I got a text from my cousin earlier today, saying my "white teacher" had come looking for me. Then half an hour ago, a friend texted to say that she saw you at the club, asking for me."

I licked my lips. When she put it that way, it sounded a tiny bit stalker-ish. "Well, you weren't answering any of my calls and I really needed to talk to you!"

She took a final drag of her cigarette and put it out. "About what? Look, Cady. If you're leaving, just leave. You don't owe me anything, including an explanation. We'll pretend like last night never happened."

"No!" I yelled as she turned away. "No, I don't want that."

"Then what do you want?"

I took a deep breath and yelled, "I want you, Alex."

A Chinese lady passing by let out a disgusted 'tsk' and ushered her kids along quickly.

Alex shook her head, clearly unimpressed by my Romeo-style admission of affection.

"Can I come up?"

She made an off-hand gesture. I took it to mean 'yes'.

Smokey air hit me in the face when she opened the door.

"You stink," I chastised, wrinkling my nose. She rolled her eyes. A voice called out from behind her.

"I know, right? She crawled home this morning smelling like sex."

I felt the color rush to my face. A Chinese girl with a PlayStation controller glued to her fingers looked up briefly at me before her eyes swiveled back to the TV. From her short buzz cut to the arms that looked like they could dead lift a tonka truck, she was what my friend Charm would call a 'stone butch'.

"Shut up, Heng," Alex called over her shoulder.

"Ya, she's been pouting all morning, too." Heng was undeterred.

"Seriously? Can't you go somewhere else?"

"No, no," I stepped in, trying to defuse the situation. Teacher training put to good use! "Look, can we just talk? I'm sorry about this morning."

"Why? What happened?" Heng again, from the couch. The sounds from the TV could only mean an apocalypse. "Did you go down on her and get a nosebleed?"

"What?!" The color had just started to recede from my cheeks but I could feel it crawling its way back up again.

"Sometimes it happens." Heng shrugged, her eyes still glued to the TV.

"What?" I whispered again to Alex but she just shook her head and waved me into the flat. It was a small, very cluttered space that seemed rather mismatched. On the small balcony was a home gym set-up consisting of a treadmill and some weights. Little knick-knacks like feminine throws and scented candles brightened up the otherwise masculine furniture.

"Do we have an extra person for lunch?" another voice called out from the kitchen. It was distinctly male.

"Uh... it's Cady," Alex called out.

We heard a bunch of pots and pans clatter to the floor.

"Seriously? The Cady? She's here? Oh, my god!" As his voice rose in pitch, we heard a lot more clattering before a tall, tan male body exited the kitchen, wiping his hands on the bikini bum apron he wore with the word 'Bali' written in gold. He extended a hand.

"It's so nice to finally meet you. Alex has said so much about you."

I shook his hand. "Really?" I looked at Alex, who shrugged.

"Oh yes," he continued. "The last year it's been like, 'Oh, she's so inspiring, you should hear her speak' or 'you should see those high heels, Daniel, they kill me every time'."

"Ya." It was Heng's turn to contribute. Her game was paused. She leaned over the back of the couch, the controls dangling from her fingers. "Or 'you should see her ass, its'-".

"Okay!" Alex interrupted in a near shout. "All of you need to shut the fuck up."

Daniel raised his arms, indicating surrender. "I'm just excited, Alex."

"Go be excited in the kitchen."

"Fine." With a huff, he turned on his heel and left.

Alex turned and shot a warning look at Heng, who slowly lapsed back onto the couch, looking somewhat chastised.

"My room," she said, ushering me to the nearest door.

Her room was sparsely decorated. A single bed with a wooden frame was pushed against one wall, leaving quite a bit of room for the large, plain Ikea-style bookcase and matching desk. An old HP laptop sat amidst badly fraying notebooks.

"I don't get what you want to talk to me about," she said, locking the door. "I know you intend to leave Singapore for good - you could have just told me that last night. Or when I asked you out. Or when I asked how work was. Why didn't you?"

"Alex, I - yes, I did book a ticket home and I should have told you that. I'm sorry." I took a step towards her. "My contract's over. And I was getting a little bored of this place and I wanted to go home."