Alien Dating Site

Rachel laughed again. "I thought length meant how big their cocks were?"

"Hobbies?"

"Maybe we should just leave that one blank."

"How so?"

"The chance of different species having the same hobbies might be remote. They might think they don't share our interests and move on."

"Okay, leave it blank it is. This is the final one coming up. 'Write a little about yourself, and what you're looking for in a partner."

"Okay, let's see. Two fun, romantic, witty and kind hearted, sexy earth women seeking two equally fun, romantic, charming and sexy males to go out on a date with. Will see if there are any sparks and then, decide if a second date is warranted. We like fine dining, going out to shows, cuddling and dancing."

"Okay, hit the upload button."

"Are you sure? Once we're officially on this site it won't let us come off again until the seven day free trial is up. It says so right here."

"Hit the upload button, dammit! I'm getting horny just thinking about how hot and sexy some of those five hundred alien species must be!"

****

The female human profile was causing quite a sensation among all galaxies associated with The Dating Site For Aliens. There had never been humans on the site before and many species were unaware of what earth women even looked like, until now.

Reshton Vrosha of the planet Orion, in the Aspar Galaxy, viewed the earth women's profile with intense interest.

"Think I found something, here."

Borel Creshna sighed skeptically. "That's what you said the last ten times, and they all turned out to be pretty lame."

"What about two earth women?"

"Earth? Earth? Oh yeah, that M class planet down by the Milky Way. But I think you're seeing things again. There aren't any members within a hundred light years of that part of the universe, much less on that miserable piece of rock."

"Look for yourself, Borel. Wow! They look sexy."

"Any supplement baby feeders?"

"They only have two of them. Wait, I'll get my book for interplanetary lingo. Earthlings call them...uh let's see...yes, breasts, mind you, but they also have very curvy bodies from what I can see. Nice too. Real nice!"

"But what about their mating holes?"

"Wait a minute. I'll look the technical term up. Ahh...here we go, pussies or vaginas."

"Not the names, you moron, the size! The last two species you got us mixed up with couldn't accommodate our giant mating rods at all. Their holes were so damn small that-"

Borel suddenly stopped talking. His friend Reshton's eyes were glued to the screen, fixated upon the beautiful earth women's fabulous hair.

"Their head strands are pretty spectacular," Reshton exclaimed. "You know how most species have head strands that boring standard brown? Just look at these two earth babes. Long flowing flaming red hair on the one, and gorgeous dangling blond curls on the other. Makes my mating rods extra hard and long just glaring at 'em!"

"Anything makes your mating rods extra hard and long, just like that long pointy head of yours. Have you any idea how long it would take to transport them the fuck out here to meet them? Find something a little closer to home you moron."

"Naww. These earth women are the bomb. I say we date 'em. It's only let's see...by our transporter, thirty of their earth seconds to bring them out here."

"Okay, fine. It's super fast," Borel conceded. "But at six Chriethons a journey per body? That's twelve Chriethons. A whole lot of money just to whisk a couple of babes out here. And another twelve Chriethon to whisk them back. A whole day's fucking pay, just to meet two earth women."

"Yeah, but think of the prestige. No other guy on our planet or even the millions of members on the site can boast of having dated earth women before. We'll be the first. That'll make us real celebrities."

"That'll make us saps. Don't forget, that to show them around and take them to dinner's gonna cost even more. They're not like other, much closer females we could date that would cost nothing to bring here and that have seen the sights already. We could save a bundle."

"Fuck you," Reshton spat out. "It's always about money. Money, money, money! Isnt' that what money is for? Having a good time? The head strands, or hair, as earth people call it, why that alone turns me on and makes me incredibly hard. I count at least three holes we can glide in and out of, four if you count in between those massive breasts of theirs."

Borel squeezed the lids to his four eyes tighter together, signaling he was deep in thought and mulling over his room mate's words carefully. He had to admit to himself, that the thought of long flowing, flaming red hair was powerfully enticing. "On one condition," Borel suddenly offered.

"Name it," Reshton countered, his ears perking up enthusiastically over what he believed to be a change of heart to his stubborn friend's usually fun killing mindset.

"I want the red head."

"Why don't we let the girls decide who they want? It always works out better that way."

"Hmmm, words of the wise. Alright then, count me in. I'll go full halves, whatever the costs."

"Now your talking," Reshton exclaimed. "I'll send them an intergalactic nudge."

"Just send them mail to their computer, email, I think they call it."

"I'll let the dating site sort out that technical stuff. All I have to do is click on 'message' and type something to catch their attention."

"Fine. How about 'loved your profile. You earth women sound very interesting. Would love to meet.' Whaddya think of that Reshton?"

"I think you're not an intergalactic poet, but it'll do rather nicely for a start."

"Now all I have to do is hit send. Should I?"

""I said you should, didn't I? As long as I get the one with the red hair like we agreed upon."

"That was my idea, you thief," Borel protested. "But seriously, what if she prefers me?"

"I should think that's hardly unlikely, not when I'm so incredibly hot."

"Really!"

"Of course, really," Reshton insisted. "I've got a muscled chest, and four powerful arms to sweep her off her feet, not to mention my three mating rods. You did say these earth women have three holes didn't you?"

"It would seem so."

"Seem?"

"Why don't you wait until we meet 'em, and then if you get to use all your mating rods, you'll know she's got three holes. That way you don't have to keep asking me the same stupid question. Am I human? Do I know for sure how many holes an earth woman has?"

***

"You sure wine is a good idea?" Rachel asked. "I'm still rip roaring stoned from that damn joint."

"I need a drink. We've been staring at all these intergalactic nudges till we're cross eyed. Some of the pics are so damn weird, I want to take a shower just looking at them."

"Yeah, but others are incredibly sexy," Rachel pointed out. "Giant cocks, sensual feelers, multiple tentacles, seductive suction cups that could probably vacuum our breasts until we want to scream out loud from all the fucking unbearable non-stop pleasure."

"Speaking of giant cocks and suction cups, there is that email we first saw about the two guys from Orion...let's see...oh yeah, Borel and Reshton are their names. Part of their profile talked about 3 mating rods. They are obviously talking about cocks. Can you just fucking imagine a male with three cocks?"

"And giant ones at that! Yeah, to be honest, I was thinking about those two Orion males ever since we first got their email. Their pics look awesome. Seven feet high and as wide as a brick house. Solid muscle with four arms at their sides. Two could reach down and hold my shoulders and two could reach down and hold my ass."

"No need to tell me where you'd stuff their 3 cocks," Cynthia exclaimed. "You always were an over the top kind of girl. As for me, I'd probably want to make them come one at a time, savor the moment so to speak, and finally do justice to the term all night long."

"It says here that their mating rods have built in vibrators for maximum female pleasure. Can you imagine, gigantic cocks with built in vibrators? We'd think we'd died and gone to heaven, for pete's sake. How fucking turned on is that? I'm hotter than fire just thinking about it."

"I must admit that my pussy is also soaking wet at just the thought of it. Were human females even built to withstand such glorious bliss? We'd be moaning out of our skulls at all that action. I say we go for it!"

"You got no argument from me," Rachel seconded. "But how do we go about it?"

Cynthia took a swig of wine straight from the bottle then handed it to Rachel. She shrugged and did the same, gasping at how strong it was.

"You sure this shit ain't whiskey?"

"It says wine on it."

"Yeah, but some wine is stronger than others."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Cynthia asked. "The drunker we are is the harder it would be to change our minds and lose out on such glorious fucking!"

"Here, let me type in a response. 'Dear Orion males. We are definitely interested. We'd love to meet, even now, but are not sure on how to go about it. As you can see from the flashing 'new species' sign above our profiles, this is our first time using this dating site.'"

Cynthia's finger hovered above the 'send' button. "Maybe we should think it over though. How do we get to this Orion planet? And more importantly, how do we get back?"

"Who cares?" Rachel insisted impatiently. "You've got me horny out of my mind. I'm so hot and bothered I'm actually on God damn fire. With three vibrating cocks taking turns with my pussy, what makes you think I even want to come back? Send the damn message, will you?"

Cynthia still hesitated but Rachel's desperation got the better of her and she brushed her finger out of the way and hit 'send,' herself.

Cynthia sighed. "Well, I guess this is the one way to find out."

The message coming back was almost instantaneous. "Dear Earth women, thanks for the prompt reply. Simply type in how long you want your date with us to last, and then hit the 'deliver' button. As long as you both have a hand on the computer, it will transport you to our planet, and more importantly to where we are, quite instantly. When the earth hours you punch in has elapsed, then the system will automatically scramble your molecules and re-assemble them back to where you are now, whether your computer is still turned on or not. A fail safe system, really. You've nothing to worry about. My friend and I suggest six earth hours. That will give us time to get acquainted, in, well, any way you'd like, and if you didn't want intimacy, being it's our first date and all, we could show you the sights, so to speak. Maybe do dinner or drinks and dancing or something like that. Whatever turns you on."

"It's the turning on part that excites us," Rachel typed back. "We're ready to come now. I'm hitting the deliver button and we're holding onto the computer like you said."

They both took hold of the computer and Rachel typed in 'six earth hours.' Then she stretched forth her finger to hit the deliver button. Cynthia's mind was racing in a thousand directions. What if the system spread her molecules across a hundred galaxies then couldn't put her back together on the other side. What if she got put back together but in a weird way? What if she couldn't get back to earth? What if the Orion brothers turned out to be butchers and not lovers?

She suddenly pulled her hand away and as Rachel hit 'deliver,' she disappeared instantly, leaving Cynthia alone in the room.

The sensation of being pulled apart into a million pieces was suddenly followed by a calm and acknowledgement, that whatever had been done to her, had by no means harmed her, and had, after a brief thirty second interval, deposited her back together again, exactly as she had started out, only now in a strange surroundings.

"Hi, I'm Borel. Your journey was not too harrowing, I take it?"

"No, I'm fine, except that I have the feeling I've just been scrambled then put together again, that's all."

"A thousand light years from where you stood mere seconds ago. Welcome to the planet Orion."

"And I'm Reshton. We're the two Orion males in the profile that was sent to you. Please forgive our raspy voices, but the universal transmitters in our throats allow us to speak to you in English. I'm afraid you wouldn't understand our languages."

"I'm sure I wouldn't," Rachel said, adding a smile. "I was always a dunce in school at earthly languages, much less alien ones."

"You other half, Cynthia, I believe the profile read, the sexy blond one. She's not with you?"

Rachel sighed, then laughed. "No, I guess she chickened out at the end."

"Chickened out?"

"Yeah, you know, got scared."

"Ahh, yes, got scared. But scared of what? As you can see, there is no crime on Orion. We're a peace loving people, only we love our, how shall I put it? Why not just put it how you earthlings do? We love our sex. And so, with the advent of the Alien Dating Site, some five earth years ago, most of us Orion males have been checking out different female species, just as how our own Orion females have been checking out the available alien males. We Orions are what you humans refer to as...as...help me out here, will you Borel?"

"Swingers. I think the word you're looking for is swingers."

"Yes, that's the word. Thanks Borel. Swingers. And I absolutely adore your long flowing scarlet colored hair. It really makes my mating rods super hard."

"You're making me blush," Rachel confessed, checking out Reshton and Borel's super hot bodies. They were seven feet tall, with four arms at their sides, and four feet that resembled hoofs more than human feet. Their faces were humanoid like, but with four glowing eyes and a slit for a mouth. There didn't seem to be a nose. Their lips were large and wet, very seductive, but their words came from their throats and not their mouths. Their mouths were larger than a human's but Rachel gasped at their chests, which were supremely muscular, and their rippling abs simply out of this world.

"You seem to be staring, without saying anything Rachel. Is everything all right?"

"It's more than alright. You two look weird to say the least, but amazingly sexy nonetheless, especially those abs and those four skillul looking hands. I bet you would know just how to hold onto a human woman with hands like that."

"Our palms give off sensual pulses that would seek to activate your sexual responses. When you add in our vibrating mating rods, I suppose we could take your female body to orgasm a hundred or so times more powerful than what you're used to."

"Sounds positively yummy! And I can't get over the way you're all so blue all over, even your eyes, and, well, those cocks of yours. How long are those damn things anyways?"

"Each of our three mating rods are exactly four of your earth feet long. They vibrate to stimulate a woman's...uh...help me out again Borel? The human terms for shnell, bastioni and glostens? I doubt the translator can decipher those words."

"Uh, yeah, that would be pussy, anus and breasts. The word mouth translates easily. Soooo, anyways, our three mating rods are used to stimulate our female's pussy, anus and breasts. She in turn, signals she is hot by wrapping her lips around our cocks to make them super hard, then after about three of your earth hours, our women are finally 'in heat,' super aroused, I think you call it. And our mating rods are suddenly full of Orion sperm. That's when we too, are in heat. Sorry I can't explain it better."

"No, I understand the term, 'in heat' just fine. As a matter of fact, I'm in heat right now. I didn't come all the way across a hundred galaxies just to talk. Some of us earth women at times get disappointed with earth men, and so, meeting you both is a chance for us to see how females in the rest of the universe get to live. Do you mind if I get to touch one of those things, mating-"

"Just call them cocks, since that's what you're used to saying, and yes, please do, touch whatever you like, however you like, whenever you like, although please be fair to both Borel and myself. If you do start touching us long and hard, then it's only fair that we...that we...Borel, more help please?"

"All the way! It's only fair you let all three of our cocks go all the way if you're going to touch them and turn them on. Hot and bothered I think is another useful human term."

"I'm used to being hot and bothered," Rachel spat out. "That's why I buy dildos sometimes."

Reshton looked puzzled. "Borel? Please? Dildos?"

"She's referring to artificial mating rods that can stimulate a woman's pussy, anus or breasts."

"I see. Well Rachel. You won't need any dildos while you're on our planet, especially in the presence of Borel and myself. We do it long and hard or soft and playful. However you want it. All night long, if that's your thing. No need for artificial poles of any sort here."

Rachel smiled. "All night long! That's definitely my thing."

"Excellent, and does that ever feel good," Reshton said, almost in a moan as Rachel began rubbing the end of one of his cocks with her right hand. Her left, she wrapped around one of Borel's, stretching the sensitive alien skin back and forth on his as well.

"I don't mind telling you that Borel and myself are the envy of the entire universe right now, actually being in the presence of an earth woman, having her play with our cocks. It's never been done before. The Alien Dating Site heightened its frequency waves in an attempt to reach ordinary earth computers. Yours seemed to be on some rarely used website at the time which just so happened to be connected to their dating site at the time. A freak shot in the dark, really. I'm uncertain of the technical jargon, I'm afraid. If I were a scientist or communications expert, I could probably explain it to you more accurately."

"Too much talking," Rachel declared. "What are those on your chests?"

"You mean these?"

"No, those."

"Ohh, the suction cups. We use those to latch onto a female's breasts to stimulate her sexually."

"My breasts feel pretty unstimulated right now. How about latching on and doing some serious suction sucking."

"Hmm, they're pretty powerful. They might over stimulate you, make you reach orgasm too fast. Borel and I would like to take our time."

"Over stimulate is good, trust me," Rachel managed. "I plan on many, many orgasms tonight. One extra is not gonna hurt a bit."

"We don't mean to be presumptuous," Borel said. "You do want to be humped by both of us, don't you?"

"Absolutely," Rachel clarified. "I'm so fucking hot right now, I'm ready to explode and just keep on exploding."

Reshton's suction cups attached to her breasts, their moist center, latching on to her nipples and gently squeezing them. Rachel moaned wildly at the incredible slice of heaven now ever so sweetly pummeling her breasts, making them swell and pulsate in an explosion of bliss that intensely surpassed any joy she had previously encountered.

Borel's two leftover mating rods now carefully rubbed against her quivering ass, parting her curvy bum cheeks until one of them gradually entered her anus, squiring natural lubricants that relaxed her muscles around the opening while highlighting her vivid sensations of pleasure. After a moment or two the large cock head began sliding in and out of her bum cheeks and stunning her anus with an exquisite taste of heaven.

Her hands still clutched one of their cocks in both hands. Lubricants flowed down her hands to make jerking them off that much easier. Her finger encircled them harder and she glided up and down a full twelve inches of each, making the blue males moan out of their skulls.

"Oohhh, Orion females would never jerk us off like this. They feel it's too beneath them. But you earth women, you're so accommodating. It makes us want to suck and hump you even harder."