Alien Impulses

"There has been a lot to take in. Let me ask, have any of you visited another planet before?" A handful of the doctors murmured that they had, including Manisti. "OK, try this -- have any of you been removed from your home planet and taken to another without any preparation time?" The heads, which a moment ago had nodded, were now shaking slowly. "I had absolutely no idea that life beyond the Earth existed until..." I check my watch, "eleven hours ago. You must understand that, while I'm doing my best to get used to these surroundings, the amazing concepts you're bringing to me, and the very fact that humankind is not alone in the Universe, this is a big hit. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tonight screaming, or something. I can't believe I'm being so relaxed about it."

The doctors nodded, concerned. For the first time, the dark-skinned lady in the far corner, who Manisti had earlier pointed out as a psychologist, spoke. "We are aware of the trauma we have caused, having brought many beings to our planet in the past. It is fair to say that, on first examination, you have performed extremely admirably in terms of your flexibility and honesty. You have not denied what we have said, but accepted it. You have not demanded instant repatriation, as have many in the past. Instead, you have learned, co-operated and been polite and helpful. You have our thanks". There was applause once more. These people sure liked clapping.

"You're kind. Well, to answer your question, no, I don't believe that I have been presented with too much information. There has been a lot, but there have always been examples of what you mean, so that I have some reference. And walking into that big arrivals hall at the beginning, that was the perfect way to say, 'Hey, you're not in Kansas anymore!'" I chuckled and drank the last of my coffee while a few confused doctors were put right by others who'd seen the film. Some laughter arose as they got the joke. I took a scone. This was fun.

"One final question, if I may, before we divide into our groups to discuss what we have learned, and you have the option to begin other forms of testing." The doctors were clearly eager to get started and many had several pages of elaborate, colourful notes already laid out. Their lecterns could print an acetate-type hard copy of their notes which was simply peeled off the screen, whereupon the doctor began writing again on the sheet beneath. "Provided that certain conditions are met, we will be revealing to you within the next few days perhaps our most startling and impressive discoveries in the fields of science and medicine. These revelations will fundamentally change your life, your relationship with the Universe, and perhaps even your body itself. You can choose, at any time, to stop. However, I must advise you that beginning the process is by far the biggest step. If you are concerned about what you may learn, or do not wish to proceed for any reason, I urge you to say so now."

I thought about this. 'Fundamentally change' my life? What kind of 'discoveries' were these? Well, I thought, I've come this far, I may as well jump down the rabbit hole...

"I remain at your disposal and am anxious to start".

There was an eruption of applause as the whole team stood, beaming and clapped for a solid five minutes without any indication that they would ever run out of steam. Finally, Manisti quietened them and they gathered lecterns, jackets and bags and broke up into huddled groups by the far walls, top of the table, and the door. Some left, waving or nodding to me. A couple, including the dark-skinned psychologist, shook my hand warmly and thanked me for my time. I thought Manisti was going to hug me.

"Remarkably honest", she was saying, "we've never seen anything quite like it. You could do wonders for our understanding of so many things... Very exciting. Truly." Some of the groups were leaving while a team of three doctors at the door seemed to be waiting for me. Manisti finished saying goodbye to some of the team and then walked over to introduce us. "This is the Primary Physical Team. Their interests relate to your physical systems. If you have no objections, they would like to begin their work immediately."

I shook hands with the three, a black man aged about 50, with a white moustache and glasses, and two younger women whom I took to be nurses. I was wrong if course, as Manisti introduced one of the women as Doctor Falik, head of surgery and professor of comparative physiology. Her hands were dainty and soft, enclosing mine for a warm and friendly handshake. "I am delighted to meet you at last. Our work together should be most stimulating". She smiled beautifully. Again, it was hard to guess her age -- early thirties? Maybe late twenties? She was cute and I fancied her immediately.

Manisti flanked us as we walked down the main corridor to the Medical Labs. The corridor ran along one side of the park, where the young couple were still reading, but also taking time out occasionally to kiss and fool around. Inwardly, I rejoiced that no one was there to chastise them. What a healthy society.

Turning left through a set of heavy, steel, double doors, we entered the main medical labs. A reception desk and a bank of computers were on my right, with information panels and clothing racks to the left. "This is our main entrance", said Falik. "We require that you complete some administration here, and then proceed through with us to the examination rooms. I understand that you have done this before. The receptionist will help you."

I turned to face the reception desk, ready to complete the forms, and nearly had a heart attack.

The receptionist was Samuel L Jackson, in character from Pulp Fiction. I swear. Just calmly going about administrative business -- answering the phone, sliding over the forms with a pen, patching through a call. "Go ahead and sign right there", he indicated. The Afro, the suit, the voice. Everything.

I stared at him for fully a minute before asking, "when did they get you, man? How long have you been here?"

He just smiled and clicked the pen for me. "Go ahead and sign. They're ready for ya". I signed, handed him the pen. "Thanks, man. You run along, now". He turned back to his lectern, humming quietly. With absolutely no idea what to say, I turned and walked through the reception area, joining Falik at the sliding doors and walking together into a tall, broad hanger-type building with individual offices partitioned by flexible, light-blue screens. Some were domed, like large tents, while others were open at the top. The ceiling was a mesh of metal beams from which dozens of lamps hung, emitting a soft light that gave everything a clarity and crispness I'd never seen before. I made a mental note to ask about that. Lovely effect.

Falik swished open the door of one of the blue tents and ushered me politely inside. It looked a lot like a standard doctor's office, with an examination table and cupboards, even an anatomical chart on the wall. Falik strode over to her desk, which was a thin sheet of glass balanced almost impossibly on a single spindly metal rod. Somehow, it managed to stay up while she sat on it.

"Welcome", she said warmly. "You're in one of our examination bays, and here we will conduct the majority of our experiments. Throughout the procedures, I will be bringing in a variety of equipment that will assist in our work. Please feel absolutely free to ask as many questions as you want." I glanced around the room and noted that the other two staff were absent. Predicting my question, Falik said, "they are taking part in a planning session which will last about an hour. We will be alone for a while."

She slid off the desk, took off her white lab coat and unfastened her hair clip, shaking loose beautiful, black hair that cascaded down over her shoulders. "I hope that you find me attractive". I nodded and smiled at her lustfully. "Would you like to have sex?" she asked confidently, but with a hint of innocence I found unbelievably alluring. "I know about your encounters with the three Ministry girls. They reported that you have a wonderful penis and that it gave them great pleasure to suck it and take it inside their bodies. I would very much like to feel the same". She approached me and my erection swelled in my trousers as she softly kissed me. Immediately, I knew that she had not been trained up like the others.

"You've never done this before?" She nodded, unbuttoning her blouse.

"I saw a recording of part of your encounter with one of the girls, in the back of the vehicle on your way here. It has made for popular viewing on the planetary Intranet. Many females are interested in you."

I had flushed bright crimson. "A sex tape of me is publicly available? Are you fucking kidding me?" I gasped.

Falik grinned and let her skirt fall to the floor. "There is no reason to be sensitive about this, although I think I understand your feelings. Your encounter was a private moment, which others shouldn't be allowed to see. But, you must understand that we have virtually no concept of sexual privacy, and that watching other people fucking is a major pastime. I particularly enjoyed watching your orgasm. May I taste your penis?"

There it was again, that confident, direct tone that I loved about these people. Unzipping, I brought out my erection and she was quickly on her knees in front of me, admiring it. "Quite beautiful, yes." Her hands were soft and my penis responded yet further as she began to masturbate me, slowly. "How many different women has this wonderful specimen been inside?" I thought about that for a moment while she eased her soft, warm lips over the head of my cock and slipped me into her mouth, generously swirling her tongue all over my shaft.

"About twenty, I think". She looked up at me, dark eyes filled with lust and enjoyment. Releasing me from her mouth, she whispered, "Here, you could fuck twenty girls every day. Would you like that?" She continued sliding my foreskin back and forth. "You could have anyone, anytime. You are totally free here." Back inside her mouth, my cock received a wonderfully warm tongue bath. Falik unfastened her bra with her other hand, revealing small, pert breasts, and then put her hand between her legs. "I think I am ready. Would you like to enter me now?" She stood and bent over the glass desk.

Shaking my head in wonder, I slid her panties down over her cute little bum and then off. They were exceedingly wet at the crotch. The culprit, a pretty, pink vagina, nestled among soft, black hairs. Her anus was gorgeous. I wondered if she would let me take her there. "Do you think I am ready?" she whispered. Her pussy juices had formed silver trials on her inner thighs and her lips were swollen and red. By way of an answer, I moved in behind her, placed my penis at her pink entrance, and pushed inside. Her lips parted and my cock was enveloped in warmth and moisture. Falik gasped onto the glass table and her vaginal muscles gripped my erection as I slid back and forth. "It is wonderful..." she was murmuring. Taking hold of her hips, I established a steady rhythm with deep strokes which filled her cunt. She actually became wetter during our sex, which was hard to believe, and her juices coated my balls.

"Falik, can I try making love in your anus?" She glanced back at me and smiled, nodding cutely. Taking her hand from between her legs, where she had been fingering herself while I fucked her, she spat noiselessly into her hand and rubbed the saliva into her bottom hole. I withdrew, reluctantly, from her cunt and lined up my cock at her smaller orifice. There was so much lubrication that I slid inside easily. Falik murmured again and her hand came back to stop me.

"Slowly, darling. You are big but I am small. Go in slowly" she whispered. I eased out almost all the way, then pushed my glans back into her bottom. She relaxed as the broadest part of my cock was fully inside her, and then murmured loudly as I pushed forward again. "My darling, it is wonderful but you are too big for me. Please withdraw and wait a moment." I did as she asked.

Falik turned and rose from the table, kissed me warmly and opened a cabinet in the wall. Bringing out a small, red cube she explained, "this is a simple dilation device for surgery. It will help in our lovemaking. Place it at the entrance to my bottom". She knelt up on the glass desk and I placed the cube, which had a soft, velvety feel, on the pretty little starfish of her anus. It vanished in a wisp of redness. Immediately, I noticed that Falik's anus was more open than before. "Now try again and don't worry", she said, smiling. I quickly got back into position and slid my hardness inside her bum once more. Everything was different and I was able to push my whole cock inside her. "Better?" I grunted my approval and began to fuck her strongly. Grabbing her hips, I launched my cock each time into the depths of her ass, feeling the shuddering of her masturbation through the soft flesh inside her. She came, loudly, and squeezed my cock to its finale. I showered her insides with hot semen and then collapsed forwards on top of her, feeling our breathing slowly recover.

I kissed her neck and face as my erection subsided and finally withdrew from her ass. Stretching and rising, Falik kissed me again and knelt down as if to suck me. "Falik, you might not want to..." she stopped me with a raised hand. Reached over to another cabinet in the wall, she brought out a small bottle of blue liquid and a white cloth.

"This is a sterilising agent which will clean your penis of any harmful bacteria. It is normal after making love as we did." She tipped some of the blue liquid onto the cloth and gently cleaned my cock, drawing back the foreskin and running the cloth under it. It felt good, slightly cool to the touch. She dropped the cloth down a waste chute and took another. "This solution may also help your skin complaint. Would you allow me to apply it?"

I was confused for a second before I remembered. I have acne -- nothing serious, you understand, but persistent and annoying. "Anything you like, if it will help! Nothing back home could shift this for me."

She smoothed the cool lotion into my skin. It felt great, as if I was becoming truly clean for the first time. "This is good stuff! What is it?"

Falik finished, discarded the cloth and put the lotion away. "It is a formulation we adopted, having seen its positive effects in other cultures."

I stared at her for a moment. "You mean, it's an alien skin cream?"

Falik giggled, "yes, I suppose you could say that. Most effective. You will learn more about such things later. For now, I think we should begin the physical examination. After that, perhaps we can fuck some more, but we do need to get some work done today". She smiled cutely and tapped a wall panel.

Behind the examination table, the wall altered until it hazily became a set of touch-screens and other control consoles. "My colleagues should be present for this section of the tests". She pressed a small button on her watch and, thirty seconds later, the black man and the younger, blonde woman walked in and introduced themselves.

"It is our real pleasure to meet you", he began, in an extremely deep, resonant voice. "Although my interest in your species, if you'll forgive the term, is relatively recent, there are volumes waiting to be written for a large and fascinated body of fellow scientists. I look forward to a mutually fruitful relationship". He extended his hand, which was soft, almost dainty. "Carpash, Professor of Interstellar Physiology and Experimentation". My face must have betrayed my instant unease. "Please don't be alarmed. We will be carrying out absolutely nothing which will be painful, unnecessarily intrusive or uncomfortable in any way."

The range of coloured screens and dials around the walls of the room seemed to have increased in the past minute. There were now dozens of screens, each relatively inactive, or pulsing slightly, rhythmically, like some kind of alien screen-saver. Carpash noticed my glance at the panels. "There is nothing here which can hurt you. Please be comfortable and we may begin shortly".

The blonde has busied herself in some kind of preparatory work with a portable lectern similar to those used at the meeting an hour ago. "My colleague, Doctor Velis. She also has a close interest in human anatomy, but specialises chiefly in neurophysiology, that is, the..." I chose to interrupt him, just to show I was on the ball.

"The study of the anatomy of the brain, and its functions." Quite right, he nodded, with a tone which did not risk patronising me. These people were well trained and immaculately prepared. Surely, there would be much I could learn, too?

Velis completed her preparations at the screen and began to speak. She had an odd, unplaceable accent, something like Russian, but with a relaxed, South African feel. "You'll be pleased to learn that you are in excellent health, and that our scans have revealed no physical ill effects resulting from your journey. We are particularly pleased that our methods of travel have not damaged any of your systems".

I shared my relief with a chuckle. "So, doctors, what is it you would like to find out?"

Velis consulted her screen once more while Carpash answered my question. "Your anatomy is humanoid, like our own, but largely dissimilar internally. We are interested in the comparative physiology of our species. In short, we'd like to know how your systems create physiological success among your species, and we hope to be able to copy elements of these."

I stared at him. "But I thought you were physically perfect? That you could live for three thousand years?" Carpash looked blank for a second, until Velis sent over an invisible thought which contained an approximation in their own calendar system.

"Yes, yes", he was nodding, "but there is still much we can learn. Great longevity and a healthy lifestyle are two crucially important things, and achieving them has been one of the crowning glories after centuries of scientific and medical achievement." Velis beamed proudly. "But we have discovered, among other things, that a long and healthy life is only worth living if one other thing can be secured."

I waited. Velis was still beaming, almost shy as she tapped at her screen. "Happiness", she said finally. "This is the final secret we wish to unveil".

So, that's what this was all about?! Sampling the best and happiest of all alien species in order to achieve happiness in their own. As the genius and simplicity of the concept dawned on me, a large smile became almost fixed on my face, which was feeling distinctly healthy after the alien skin scream episode.

She continued. "Your species has developed a magnificent suite of hormonal and other responses designed to promote happiness. According to what we know, happiness is the key to a truly successful life. People learn more effectively when they are happy, engage in fewer arguments, experience a lower level of emotional and physical stress. Our bodies, you see, promote few hormonal responses in this way. In essence, we are permanently depressed".

I looked around, then stared at the two doctors. Falik stood at the back, taking copious notes on another lectern. "You're depressed?" Velis smiled again and nodded. "All evidence to the contrary".

"In effect, yes, but without the other extreme with which to compare our emotional responses, it is very difficult for us to say. You see, our brains are quite unlike your own. They control bodily functions, maintain pulse and respiration, regulate our internal organs - these, too, are quite unlike your own".

I pondered this. The four wonderful alien vaginas I had so far encountered sure felt real and normal enough. And their mouths. And Falik's incredible, tight bottom...