Alison Found

I was sure I was going to regret this, yet I wanted to know why she'd abandoned me so completely all those years ago. I was bitter that she'd thought so little of me.

"I can ask if there's somewhere quieter, or I've got a room here, we can talk there if you want," I offered.

"I'd prefer to use your room."

I nodded in agreement, and she stood and stepped away while I signed the check. I added a generous tip, thinking that at least one person should benefit from the disaster of the night.

Turning, I saw her in the doorway that led to the lobby, the man she been sitting with at the restaurant was standing by her side, holding her arm possessively. I wondered who he was; friend, boyfriend, lover, husband? The possibilities were endless. He didn't look happy with me, casting icy glances in my direction as he spoke to her. I hung back, the last thing I wanted to do was to walk into a domestic argument. I stayed where I was, leaning on the bar.

"You know Ashley Bell?" the barman asked. "I couldn't help overhearing the two of you."

What business was it of his, but to my surprise I found myself saying. "I knew her a long time ago, but this is the first time I've seen her in years." I nodded in her direction, "Any idea who the guy with her is?"

The barman gave me a surprised look, "You don't know much about her, do you. He's her ex-boyfriend; there was a story on E News a few days ago that he wanted a reconciliation."

"Fine, I understand the ex-boyfriend bit, but you still haven't told me who he is?"

"Shit, you really don't know anything about her. That's Simon Davies, you know, the actor; they stared in that film last year. Lovers on and off the screen, so they say."

His name sounded familiar, but as I'd said, I was no movie buff. As I watched he put his arm around her, she shrugged it off and pushed him away. He glared at me before spinning around and walking away.

"I guess no reconciliation then," I said to the barman, and he gave a short laugh.

She gave me a curt come here gesture, which given my emotional state, really pissed me off. Who the hell did she think I was, some type of lapdog to be called to heel? I walked away and used the second exit that led to the lifts. She hurried after me and caught up as I waited for the elevator doors to open.

She gave me a surprised look; I doubted that she'd been ignored like that for years. One look at the expression on my face told her I was not amused by her attitude.

She grasped hold of my arm. "Please, Jos, don't go, I can explain," she said. "I accepted Simon's invitation this evening to try and clear the air between us. Unfortunately, he read more into the acceptance than I intended. Seeing you at the restaurant was such a shock, I couldn't get rid of him fast enough. Your friends gave me your number and told me where you were staying. He must have followed me here."

"Ali, I don't care about your personal life. I do get pissed off when you start acting all high and mighty. I'm not a dog you can call to heel when it suits you."

She looked shocked at my statement and then embarrassed. The elevator doors opened, I entered the paneled and mirror-lined box and pressed the button for my floor. The doors were starting to close when she hurried in to stand beside me. We stood in silence as the elevator rose to my floor and the doors opened; she followed me out and down the corridor to the door of my room. I entered the room, and she hesitated in the doorway.

"Can I come in?" she asked. I nodded, and she stepped in and closed the door behind her.

I hung my coat on a hook and took off my jacket and placed it on the back of a chair. My room had a seating alcove by the windows. The room was a corner suite, softly lit by one light in the bed head and another lamp by the chairs in the window alcove. Ali stood watching me move about with an odd expression on her face. I held out my hand, and she slipped off her coat. She was wearing a dark blue strapless dress that fell a couple of inches above her knees. Her long slim legs were encased in stockings that shimmered. Her beauty took my breath away, and I had to swallow hard to try and get my emotions under control.

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked.

She looked at me gratefully and sat down on one of the comfy chairs by the window. She folded her hands in her lap.

"Would you like a drink, I've got a bottle of whiskey, or I guess there'll be wine or beer in the minibar."

"A glass of white wine if you've got it."

I found a bottle in the minibar and poured a glass for her, placing it on the table. "So what should I call you; is it Ashley, or do you still answer to Alison?" I asked.

"I'll always be Alison for you, and I'm happy that you still think of me as Ali. Ashley lives in a fantasy world that I'm not sure you would want to be part of."

I poured myself a whiskey and settled into the other chair. "So, do you want to explain why you broke my eighteen-year-old heart?"

"I was." she paused and shook her head. "I've always been in love with you Jos. After what happened in the house..."

"Yeah, you really showed how much you loved me," I interrupted, then took a deep breath and asked. "What did happen? All I ever heard was speculation and innuendo."

"Mum was having an affair, that's what happened," Alison replied, "and she dragged me into the fallout."

She took a long swallow from her glass, and I filled it again. "It was all so stupid," she said. "I was sick at school and needed to go home. They called my parents but couldn't get through to Dad; when Mum arrived to collect me, she was with her boss, Chad. I didn't pay much attention to his presence; I was feeling so sick, I went straight up to my bedroom. Chad stayed downstairs with Mum. Dad must have picked up his messages as he came home early and found them together on the sofa. There was a screaming match going on, and it woke me up. Unfortunately, I was still groggy, and I slipped on the last couple of stairs. I put out my hand to stop myself and broke my arm."

"Badly?"

She shook her head. "I only cracked a bone in my wrist."

"So the rumors were true; your mum was having an affair."

Ali nodded, "It had apparently been going on for some time. I wasn't aware how bad it had become between my parents. He'd been hitting her when I wasn't around."

That surprised me; he'd played the innocent party when he'd spoken my parents. They were convinced it had been all Joyce's fault

"Dad had come home early because of the message from the school and caught them," she continued. "I remember sitting on the bottom steps looking into the lounge. Mum was holding her unbuttoned blouse closed, and her bra was on the floor at her feet. Chad only had his trousers on. They all stopped shouting when they heard me hit the wall."

"Mrs. Carpenter said you were taken away in an ambulance."

"Yeah, Mum called one when she saw me holding my wrist. She wouldn't let Dad come with us. I spent the night in the hospital, and then Mum took me to a hotel, and we stayed there for a couple of days. The next thing I know we're at Heathrow and we are flying to America with Chad. I didn't want to go, but Mum insisted. We stayed in a cabin in Colorado for the first couple of months."

"Why didn't you call or write?"

"I wasn't allowed to contact you, just in case you told my father where we were. Mum said Dad was threatening to kill both of us for running away."

"Bullshit, why would I tell your father, I haven't seen him since you left."

"But he lives next door to your parents."

"None of us have seen him for years. Your house was empty and sold before we got back from the funeral. We only saw him a couple of times. Christ, your mum knew that. In any case, all you had to say was 'don't tell my dad,' and I wouldn't have."

"Shit," Ali looked horrified at my statement. "I swear she never told me that. After a couple of months, Chad got a transfer to Dallas, and we moved to a small town near Dallas after the cabin. They got married a few months after her divorce came through."

She paused to sip her drink. "I was told that my father was sending threatening letters to Chad's company. We got a visit from a company security officer, who told us the FBI was warning us to be careful. I wanted to write to you, but I was scared, I had to do an extra year of schooling so I could graduate. It was a new school, it and all the subjects ware all so different. Then a year had passed, and you hadn't contacted me, and I sort of forgot."

"Forgot, you sort of fucking well forgot me! How the hell was I supposed to get in contact? I had no clue where you were. Well, I'm glad it was that easy for you. I cried myself to sleep every night for six months. I had to see a Counselor for the best part of a year because Mum and Dad thought I was suicidal."

Her hand touched mine, and she made me put the glass down. She pulled me around to face her. "I can't tell you how sorry I am; everybody kept telling me you'd get over me. You were in Australia, and then my world turned to crap."

"How do you think I felt, at least you knew where I was!"

She gave a sob and tears formed in the corners of her eyes. I got a box of tissues from beside the bed and gave them to her. She dabbed at her face.

"All I know was I came downstairs, and Daddy was shouting at Mum and trying to kill Chad. Mum was trying to stop him. He just lashed out at her and then me when he tried to get in the ambulance, I was scared, and I just shouted at him to go away. That's the last time I saw him."

"I lived fucking next door; you could have least got your mum to stick a note through the bloody letterbox before you did your midnight flit."

"It all happened so quickly; one day we were a happy family, then everything I thought I knew changed. We were on a plane two days later, and then we were staying in an isolated cabin in the mountains for a couple of months, I never got a moments peace. By the time we were settled, England and everything seemed a dream. My reality became a small town in Texas."

She stopped talking to take in the expressions seared across my face. Pain and despair were the obvious ones. All I felt was a great sense of loss.

"What did you mean earlier, when you said I could have answered your email?" Her voice was soft and questioning.

I gave an ironic laugh and then said seriously. "The first hint I had that you were still a member of the human race was a little over two years ago; I was flying to Canada, and there you were staring in the film I was watching. I sent you an email, care of your agent. Want to see your reply?"

I didn't bother to wait for her to respond. I found the reply on my phone and showed it to her. God knows why I hadn't deleted it, she read it and then read the mail I'd sent her.

She gave me an anguished look, "I never saw this! I should have; there is a list of words and phrases that all the girls who deal with my correspondence are told to look out for. Your mail contains most of them. Why didn't you try again?"

"Why would I bother; I can recognize a brush off. At least they replied, I got nothing from your fan site and Twitter account."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," then her voice turned bitter. "And I'm damn well going to find out why they didn't forward your mail to me." Now the tears were streaming down her face.

Hell, I hate it when women cry; regardless of the facts I always felt guilty, I held out my hand to her, and she took it gratefully. "I don't see how that it's your fault if people don't do their jobs properly," I said, offering her a token straw.

She grasped at it with both hands, replying, "I get thousands of messages a month, I probably only see a couple of dozen of them at most. But they should have sent me yours."

She came and knelt at my feet, her long hair fell forward, and she casually flicked it back with her hand. My stomach clenched at the familiarity of the gesture. I hesitantly raised a hand and stroked her soft hair; she rested her head on my thigh.

"Why are you here?" I wondered. I must have said my thoughts out aloud as Ali answered me.

"You were the last person I expected to see at that restaurant, and even though I haven't seen you in years, I knew who you were the moment I saw your face, and I could tell you recognized me. I wasn't expecting the look of pain in your eyes. I tried to call out to you, but you left immediately. It took me a few moments to get rid of Simon and then convince your friends I knew you so they'd give me your number and tell me where you had gone."

"That's not what I meant, not how you found me, but why are you here?" I gestured around the room.

"Why that's simple, you were my first boyfriend and the only person I've truly loved. I don't think I ever really loved any of the others the way I love you."

"We were teenagers Ali, you were my first girlfriend, and yes I loved you, but that was twelve years ago; a hell of a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since them. Can I ask you a question? Did you still give up your virginity on your eighteenth birthday as you said you would?"

"The cherry I promised you?" She gave me a regretful look and shook her head. "No, I cried myself to sleep that evening, I missed you so much. I was nineteen and drunk when I lost it to some stupid jock at a college frat party. It hurt, two minutes and he was done, he turned me off men for a couple of years." She shifted looking for a more comfortable position, so I pulled her up, and we moved to a small sofa. She settled down beside me with a contented sigh and favored my cheek with a kiss.

"Off men?" I asked.

"It wasn't a nice experience, and the thought of doing it again wasn't appealing. I wasn't the only one, I became a LUG, a lesbian until graduation; I lived in an all-female house, and my girlfriend was my roommate."

Her coat pocket made a shrill chirp and Ali started. She struggled to her feet and hurried over to where I'd folded it over my jacket. "I'm sorry," she said. "If I don't answer that we are going to have unwanted guests pounding on the door in a minute." I gave her a confused look.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, quickly reading the message and then typing a short reply. Almost immediately her phone rang, and she answered it.

"Obtuse, David," she paused and continued, "No, everything is going as well as expected. Hopefully, I'll be staying here tonight. I'll call you if my plans change."

She hung up and looked at me a bit guiltily. "Sorry, I'm assuming a lot, I know, but I didn't think we were finished talking."

"Who, or what is obtuse David?"

She laughed, "Obtuse is this week's security codeword; we use a word you wouldn't expect to come up in normal conversation. If I hadn't said it, David would have kicked the door down. He's my bodyguard; I can't go out in public without some degree of security. He and Petra were at the restaurant with me and are waiting down in the lobby."

I sat and looked at her; if I needed any confirmation that this wasn't the girl I used to know then I'd just got it. This wasn't Alison anymore; this was Ashley Bell, megastar and what the fuck was she doing in my room.

She must have sensed my discomfort and was back sitting beside me faster than I could think it. She grabbed my head in her hands and drew my lips to hers and kissed me.

"I'm still Alison, your Alison," she murmured as she broke contact with my lips.

Yes, and no, I thought. "My Ali isn't a film star, she's the innocent girl next door," I said.

"I'm still that person, the girl who loves the boy next door, I've just grown up."

"I can see that."

She raised a hand and delicately ran a finger along the curve of my chin. "Do you remember the summer we slept in the tent in your back garden?" She asked. "We were eight or nine."

"We were eight."

I remembered; it had been a magical time. A rare hot, dry summer that had started out with a major disappointment. Our two families had decided to holiday together, a package vacation to Cyprus. Two weeks before we were due to fly, the travel company went bust. It was months before our families got their money back, so they couldn't afford a replacement holiday. Try explaining that to two disappointed children. Our parents did their best and organized lots of day trips for us.

One set of parents would take the pair of us while the other did whatever parents do when they have a child-free day. When we got back home after the first trip, Ali and I found a tent pitched in my garden. Inside were two camp beds made up with the bedding from our beds.

We slept in that tent all summer; we pulled the camp beds together so we could hold hands while we slept. Innocent childhood love.

"That's when I fell in love with you," Ali whispered. "When did you fall in love with me?"

It hadn't been that summer I knew. For me, that had been the summer of best friends. It took me a moment to recall the moment our puppy love had become the real deal for me.

"When we were eleven, the August Bank holiday carnival," I replied. "We went to the fun fair, and I got upset when Martin Ruby tried to kiss you. I remember pulling him away because only I was allowed to kiss you. I kissed you and told you I was your boyfriend, not Martin. That was the first time I thought of you as more than my best friend."

She smiled, "I remember that, I was wearing my first bra and Martin kept trying to ping the straps. You got all upset with him and threatened to thump him."

For the life of me, I couldn't recall the bra, just that she looked so pretty and that she was my friend, not his.

I recalled she'd told her bodyguard that she was staying here. I assumed that meant she had booked a room here. It was late, and I had a meeting with my agent in the morning.

"Ali, as much as I love having you sitting beside me. I need to get some sleep, I've got a busy day tomorrow, but if you're still around tomorrow night, can I take you out to dinner?"

"I'd love that, I'm tired, too," she admitted. "I hadn't realized how late it is."

She stood, but instead of walking towards the door, she entered the bathroom and closed that door behind her. I stood and stretched, working the kinks out of my back. The lights of the sleeping city caught my eye, and I stood in the window and identified several landmarks. The view from the twentieth floor was remarkable, and there were a few lit buildings I didn't recognize, the London skyline had changed since I last visited.

The glass reflected the lights of the bathroom, silhouetting Ali as she came back into the room. It took me a moment or so to notice she looked different, by which time she'd walked over and wrapped her arms around me, pressing herself against my back. I shivered as I recalled the times Alison had done the same thing when we were younger.

"London looks different at night, so clean and unsullied," she said, unaware of the range of raw emotions I was suffering being in close physical contact with her.

I swallowed and nodded in agreement. "Do you live here?" I asked.

"I've got an apartment down by the river for when I visit," she said quietly. "But most of the time I'm in the states, in LA. Stupid really, I don't like the place, but everyone expects me to live there. Where do you live?"

"I've got a flat on the seafront in Brighton, but it's rented out most of the time. I live on a boat; she's moored off Malta at the moment."

"A boat," she smiled wistfully, "Can I come and stay with you?"

I surprised myself by replying, "Sure, anytime you want; just let me know when."

She tugged at my arm, turning me to face her. Her dress had gone, and she wore a bathrobe. "No, I mean can I come with you when you go?"

"Why, what do you want?"

"I want us to start again; I want us to get to know our older selves. I want you to show me your world and me to show you mine. Please, Jos, I never stopped loving you, and I'm sure you feel the same."