All By Myself

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When one door closes, another opens.
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Michelle wiped away her tears as she looked around at the sparse room she'd just moved into. It seemed so empty, with no décor on the walls and none of her beloved plants, which would likely die in the next two weeks, knowing Kyle and his inability to care about anything living. That thought only made her start to cry again, and she sniffed, determined not to be too upset.

After all, it had been her decision to leave.

But now, thinking of the way her life had been, even in a relationship where she often felt lonely, she at least hadn't been utterly alone. There had been another presence in the house most of the time, and even when Kyle wasn't around, she could still feel the fact that someone else inhabited the place. Here, she had four other roommates renting out various bedrooms in the house, and she was even going to be sharing a bathroom with a girl named Onyx, yet she still felt the absence of anyone around her.

It had been so long since she'd known how to live a solitary existence. She wouldn't classify the eight years she'd spent with Kyle as a textbook romantic relationship, but it certainly hadn't been abusive. And even when he wasn't there for her emotionally, they'd been friendly. Plus, he'd always been available for her physically.

Even as she flopped down on the bed that didn't belong to her, her body quaked from the physical memory of their sex. It had been so great, every time. She could always count on complete fulfillment, incredible satisfaction. His tongue had worked wonders on her, making her pour into his mouth as she groaned and screamed his name.

Of course, even if he hadn't been any good in bed, at least she would have had a regular lay to count on. Today, in her new place, she had no idea when the next bout would come, and the idea of sleeping with a stranger, while adventurous, was also something more dangerous than she was going to consider this fresh out of the gate. Damn, she was going to be alone and horny for awhile.

Trying to distract herself, she flipped on the television and started channel surfing, having been assured she had the full cable network list available to her. She needed to find a movie, something she could get deeply involved in so she wouldn't fall into the hole of self pity.

Or do something stupid like go out looking for sex.

She smiled in satisfaction as she came across Legends of the Fall. Brad Pitt was some of the best therapy she could think of after a breakup. But when it came to the amazing sex scene between him and that crazy woman who couldn't be satisfied until she slept with all three brothers, just the image of Brad's back, his ass, and the intense pleasure on both faces made her ache between her thighs. With an angry punch, she changed the channel.

But after several minutes of flipping from one steamy sex scene to another, only to resort to the likes of Jerry Springer on network television and find stories about strange sexual relationships, she gave up, her rage overwhelming. She shut the infernal device off and grunted, lonely and frustrated. It was so bad she contemplated dialing Kyle and suggesting one last romp in the sack, just to ease the pain in her loins. But that would be the biggest mistake she'd ever made.

And as Michelle realized that the only thing she'd really missed about Kyle was the sex, she smacked herself in the forehead. For eight years, she'd deluded herself into believing she was in love with the boy, when really she'd simply been obsessed and addicted to their physical connection. What a waste of her life!

Sitting up, she reached for her purse. She'd been with Kyle so long she couldn't be sure, but she thought she might still have a single condom stowed away somewhere. Maybe she could talk herself into a one night stand, if it was safe sex. But then, as she pulled out Old Faithful, she read the expiration date, and her confidence deflated. What was the likelihood of a condom that had expired nearly three years earlier breaking?

Too much of a risk.

Reaching for her phone again, Michelle decided that, maybe, if she just played a few card games, she'd calm down, so she pulled up her solitaire app and went to town. She grimaced at all the flashing ads she had to put up with. But that was the hazard of downloading free games, the price you paid. Resigning herself to it, she focused on the game, but as bored and on edge as she was, she was also easily distracted.

So when an ad in the upper right hand corner of her screen showed a woman in lingerie who looked to be in the throes of a wild orgasm, she couldn't help but growl, both jealous and tired of being inundated with this shit. She couldn't ignore it, for what it was worth, so she clicked on the ad. After all, she paid the phone bill, and who did she have to answer to now? She had never been big on porn, but her curiosity was getting the best of her.

Her screen filled with clips, images, all flashing at her. With 'Click Here' the centerpiece, there were girls touching girls, men riding women, and all manner of sexual act in the works. She was so needy, just those made her a little moist, and she couldn't help but touch the wet spot between her thighs, the contact sending a tingling through her body that only served to heighten her desire for satisfaction.

With a morbid sense of self inflicted pain, she hit the center of her screen and waited, verified she was 18 or older – by far – and took a look at the list of options, paying attention to anything that was listed for free. She scrolled and considered several of the clips, but she couldn't stand the idea of watching some girl get taken by a giant dick, didn't care for watching a blow job, and had no interest at all in girl-on-girl.

Ready to give up yet again, she stopped as she noticed one that didn't look too bad. She didn't see a guy in the picture, which at least meant it wasn't going to showcase a monstrous cock. She told herself that, if she hated it, she could always turn it off, and with that self negotiation, she clicked on the link.

The girl's legs were spread so far apart it barely looked humanly possible. And instead of a man, she held a very large dildo, pushing it in and out of herself as she moaned and whimpered. Michelle turned down the volume on the phone, hating the noise but considering the motions. Her own body responded, her clit aching and the walls of her pussy clenching, as if hoping to find something to hold onto. Of course, there was nothing there, and Michelle reached down to push against the mound between her legs in hopes of alleviating the burning ache. She only succeeded in increasing it, however, and she pressed harder against herself, unable to cure the addiction to the pleasant painful desire that roared through her veins.

She wanted so much more.

No longer paying a great deal of attention to the video, except to think about how it would feel to have something up inside her, pressing in all the right spots, she eyed the two duffel bags she'd brought with her, knowing the black one contained her old personal package of 'equipment' that got her through rough times before Kyle came into her life. She still had a wonderful vibrator, though she hadn't touched it in years, and now that she thought about it, that toy had given her some of the best orgasms of her entire life.

No longer satisfied with the feel of her fist pushing against her, she stuck her hand down the front of her pants, but they were so tight she grunted as she tried to maneuver her hand far enough down to touch herself. Frustrated, she hurriedly got up and locked her door, making sure no one could possibly walk in on her by accident, and she unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, pulling them down so her pussy was completely exposed.

The feel of her hand against the bare skin was a lot more satisfying, and she sighed as she felt the warmth and the moisture that coated her pussy lips. She ran her fingers along them, building a frenzy inside that begged for a release, but she was well aware that the anticipation was half the pleasure. She glanced over at the video on her phone, finding the girl now on her knees, bracing with one hand while she used the other to push the dildo in from behind, and it made her press her knees together, trapping her hand in place against herself.

Michelle rocked her hips up and down, closing her eyes, no longer needing the video now that her body was very much in motion. The sparks were igniting and animating her, even as she spread her legs wide, shoving her jeans down around her ankles so her pussy was wide open. She flattened her palm and slapped her clit gently several times, feeling it swell in response, the sensitive nerve endings responding with vigor at her attention.

Biting her lip, she dipped the tip of one finger into her pussy, coating it and using her own juices to lubricate the cleft as she rolled it around with her index finger. It was a minimal touch, but it got her going, and she wiggled beneath her own ministrations to gain greater effect. Again, she eyed the bag, thinking about the vibrator she could get out, but she still hesitated, not wanting to stop her current work to retrieve it.

Rubbing her entire mound roughly, Michelle coated her hand with the wetness, spreading it over her folds, her clit, and around the edges of her pussy. Touching that rim made her throw her head back, and the sensation was so wild, so inviting that she dipped two fingers inside, wiggling them back and forth so she pressed against her g-spot repeatedly, until she quivered with the first small release.

But it wasn't enough, not nearly enough.

She pinched her clit between finger and thumb, tugging at it gently and feeling it burn with need. Again, her head lolled to the side, and she caught a brief glimpse of the girl on her phone bouncing up and down on the dildo, her mouth wide open in a scream of ecstasy. Unable to withstand the invitation, she rushed for the bag, digging around until she found her self pleasure kit and pulled out the vibrator. She turned it on and cursed when nothing happened.

Of course, she could use it as a dildo, but the little claw tickler wouldn't do a damn bit of good for her clit if she did that. So, she bit her tongue and prayed as she opened the back of her remote control that she'd find what she needed. With triumph, she all but cheered, pulling two AA batteries out and replacing the old ones in the vibrator, again praying that nothing inside was damaged.

This time, when she turned it on, it buzzed so hard she had to turn it down a notch to assure nothing would go numb. She lay back on the bed again, running the shaft of the vibrator along the wet lips down below and moaning with the sensation of the vibration against her body. It stimulated and drew more moisture from her, coating the device perfectly for use. She turned it around, pressing the tickler against her clit and had to cover her mouth to keep her cry of elation from ringing out, to keep others from hearing.

It had been far too long.

Rolling to her side, Michelle used one hand to draw her leg up in the air, bending the knee around that arm so that she had her legs spread wide at a very accessible angle. With the other hand, she teased at the opening of her pussy with the head of the vibrator, making herself pant and crave completion. With maddening slowness meant to torture her own sensibilities, she inserted the vibrator, letting the motions of the device cause her walls to clench, to react, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out as several small waves of pleasure rushed through her back to back to back.

She only allowed herself to go in halfway the first time, and she held it there, the vibrations flowing through her, and she let go so her fingers could seek out her clit and circle it with slow, tender motions. Of course, she was going to have to do a lot more than that, much rougher administration of pressure, to get what she really wanted, but for now, the buildup was what she needed.

Grabbing the vibrator, she slid it out, immediately pressing it in again, inch by slow inch. It was larger than Kyle had been, which made for intense pleasure, but it also meant she wasn't stretched to that degree. This time, she went deeper and angled it so the tip came forward, pushing right on that elusive g-spot that sent her nearly spiraling out of control. With quick, short motions, she pushed on the end of the vibrator so the tip thrust against the spot over and over, tossing Michelle over the edge without any kind of mercy.

She went until it became too much, then released the handle, letting it slide out naturally. It came all the way to the tip, and she caught it, this time shoving it in with all her might, several times in a row, rocking her hips as if she was actually screwing it like a real dick. The combination of the movements drove her mad, and she finally pushed the device all the way in, the tickler pressed hard against her clit so she vibrated from head to toe.

She pulled it away, knowing that the sensitivity she had right now, as high as her sex drive was, would cause her to cum far too soon, and she allowed only a few seconds of contact at a time, building upon the tension and tightness in her loins. Squeezing her legs together, Michelle found a rhythm she liked, and she rolled back and forth, onto her stomach, as she rode the vibrator, using only her body to thrust it in and out of her, letting the tickler make contact and then denying herself the satisfaction.

She massaged her breasts, which were full and hard, her nipples thrusting against her shirt as she pinched and rolled them between finger and thumb as she had with her clit. The two body parts seemed to be directly connected by an invisible thread, her attention to her breasts causing similar sensations in her clit, and vice versa every time the tickler returned for further torture. She laid on her back again, using one hand to push the vibrator as deep as it would go so it bumped against her cervix, while she spread her legs wide and used the palm of her other hand to press the tickler tight against her clit, even as she began to rock her hips back and forth.

It made the tip of the vibrator touch places she hadn't known existed inside, places that were about to erupt as the vibrator tormented her and built such a horrible frenzy that she could no longer contain the explosion. She eased off just the slightest bit, wanting desperately to make the sweetness of this last, but her body cried out, begging for the finish line.

With renewed vigor and persistence, she drove the vibrator so deep it crossed that threshold and almost caused her pain, while the tickler finished its work with her clit. And as the end approached from all angles, her whole body seized, convulsing with multiple orgasms that came from every sensation in every part of her pussy. She didn't let go, pushing herself to what almost amounted to utter insanity, as the pleasure mounted, swelling inside and nearly bursting from her hips, her chest, and had she not buried her face in a pillow, her mouth.

She couldn't remember a release so intense, one that connected with every possible point of pleasure on her body, that sent such quakes and violent spasms through her. It took what seemed like hours for the waves to slow and finally stop, and even as they did and she pulled the vibrator out, aftershocks circled through her, causing more juices to pour from her, her nipples to tingle, and her clit to throb.

She gently reached down to touch the tender flesh, and whimpered at the soft, hot mound, her clit completely spent and now so sensitive she could barely stand to touch it at all.

Utterly satisfied, she lay there in the afterglow for a long time, wondering why she'd bothered to stay with Kyle. She could do this so much better all by herself. She'd forgotten how the knowledge of her own body pretty much superseded anything another person could do for her, and now that she'd reminded herself, she knew it would be a long time before she felt the need to crawl into a man's bed again.

Certainly, she wanted to find another relationship eventually, but this time, it wouldn't be an addiction to what the guy could do with his tongue and his cock that made her fall in love. She'd get with him for the right reasons. After all, she had her own means of satisfaction and no need whatsoever to rely on anyone else.

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5 Comments
Slowandeasy47Slowandeasy47over 2 years ago

This is the stuff of my fantasies, a woman describing what only a woman can feel. Loved it!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I am basking in the eroticism you have written. I get aroused easily and, since my husband died over ten years ago, have focused on my own sexual pleasure. Right now I am savoring all the images you have placed in my head as my nipples tingle and I squirm around on the chair.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good story

Many woman experience similar situation. It is good to use tools available to satisfy oneself. It takes the edge off so they don't have to rush into another relationship.

mindventuremindventureover 10 years ago
Almost forgot................

VERY erotic. Nice build up. Good work.

mindventuremindventureover 10 years ago
Very Nicely Done

This story is extremely well written. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Particularly liked Michelle's growing comprehension about her relationship with Kyle and her realization that her independence was going to be good for her.

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